The Beautiful Game
by gpoy
Summary: [Finished] Ah, the world of Hogwarts Quidditch, the game is exciting, the players are worshiped, the commentating is explicit and James wants Lily on his team. Things could get rioty. LJ 7th year.
1. Hello!

_Hoorah! Brand spanking new fic! Brand spanking new notebook to write chapters in when I am in bed or have no computer access! Brand spanking new plot line and brand spanking new fluffy bits! Weh-hey! _

_Yes, the new fic is an L/J one, and takes place solely in seventh year, because of course this is the funniest year to write._

_Disclaimer: People keep telling me to put these things in, even though something in 's terms apparently does it for you, but anyway. I don't own any characters belonging to JK Rowling or Warner Bros or any other famous people, sadly. _

_Anyway, here we go, remember to tell me what you think about it. Should I stop now before anyone gets hurt, or should I stagger on? _

**The Beautiful Game**

**One – Hello! . . .**

Smack.

"I'm _looking_ for a _Seeker_, how obscure does that sound?" James Potter asked the world in general.

Smack.

"Not _that_ obscure," Remus Lupin said matter-of-factly, "If you think of _Seeker_ as a noun and not a verb, you are searching for a person to fill the position of searching for something else, namely a snitch in this season's Quidditch games. Therefore, to any witch or wizard, your meaning is quite clear."

Smack.

"How many thuds did you lot count?" Sirius asked James and Peter, "I think everyone within a five mile radius went to sleep during that."

Smack.

They were sitting in a compartment of the Hogwarts Express, on their way to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. James and Sirius were sitting sideways on opposite seats, furthest away from the window and passing a Quaffle to each other by chucking it at the pane of glass, rebounding it to one another.

Smack.

"What if you break the window?" asked Peter worriedly. "You'd be in trouble." James caught the ball and held onto it, glancing at Sirius.

"He's right, you know," Remus said, from behind his copy of the Daily Prophet.

"Yeah, we'd loose our Quaffle," James said seriously to his friend. Sirius smirked and so did James. "Ah, well," he grinned with a shrug.

Smack.

"What about David Maple?" asked Sirius, "He was a good flyer six years ago, in lessons, did he try out?"

Smack.

"Yeah he did. Christ, what a fiasco. He couldn't find the slowest Snitch coz his dandruff was so bad. That was probably the closest we'd ever been to playing in snow."

Smack.

"So you're telling me, out of the dozens of students who tried out for Gryffindor Seeker, not _one_ of them was good."

Smack.

"Padfoot my friend, I'd have been better off with a Puffskein strapped to an Original Vintage Family Cleansweep."

Smack.

"I hear a second year's trying to smuggle one in this year, shall I ask if we can borrow it?" asked Sirius.

* * *

"Exactly how many times have you read that, Ver?" asked Lily Evans, a few compartments down the train. Verity Hooch squinted one eye at the ceiling, as if she had something in it.

"I've lost count," she answered finally.

"I'm not surprised," grinned Lily.

"Oi, I happen to like my Quidditch," Verity said, closing _Quidditch Through the Ages_ with a thump, "And I happen to know, from reading this Merlin-knows-how-many-times that you would make an excellent Gryffindor Seeker."

"For the Merlin-knows-how-many-time: No," Lily answered.

"Come _on_, Lil," Verity whined. "You fit the position like Snape fits that arse-dent he's made on his Potions' bench. You're fast, observational, and skinny as hell, OW!" -Lily had just elbowed her in the ribs- "And bloody dangerous! Those things are _sharp_!"

"I have an _extremely fast metabolism!_" Lily said forcefully.

"And," Verity went on, ignoring the phrase she'd heard so many times it had been chiselled into her memory with a carving knife and a mallet, "A certain James Potter would be incredibly grateful to you for your services."

"James Potter can go and hang himself from the Slytherin goalpost with Filch's whip, for all I care," Lily replied.

"All right, I understand that the last thing you would want to do would be to help James," Verity said, "But it would be nice to go to practice together, wouldn't it?"

"It would," Lily said, faintly wistful, "But Verity, it's not that simple. I'm Head Girl now, I'm going to be really busy . . ."

"Bollocks," Verity dismissed, "If James can be Head Boy while being _Captain_, well, anything he can do, you can do better."

"Thank you Verity," Lily said in a perilously calm voice, "But while James will most likely spend seventy percent of his time pissing around and the other thirty sleeping, I'll be hard pressed to keep up with my NEWT work _and _take on his duties as well."

"Fine, fine, just think about it, all right?"

"Oh, and Verity?"

"Aha?"

"You are my best friend and I love you, but if you make a comparison between Potter and I once more, I may have to hex you straight into the stratosphere."

* * *

Strolling down the corridors and scoffing a mountain of Flashing-flavour Gobstoppers, the Marauders had had a close shave when their compartment had been discovered by a group of hysterical seventh Hufflepuff Girls, one Rita Skeeter asking excitedly if James was considering forfeiting the Quidditch Cup this year for lack of a Seeker.

Suddenly, Remus stopped outside a compartment and peered inside.

"Hey Prongs!" he said, with a smirk, "It's the love-of-your-life, Miss Lily Evans!"

"Sod off," James told him, crunching down on a fairly fresh gobstopper and nearly cracking a few teeth, although he began to make his way to the indicated compartment.

"And she's Head Girl!" exclaimed Sirius as his head popped up next to Remus's. "I can see her badge!"

"Oi! What the hell do you think you're doing looking **there**?!" demanded James, shoving his friends out the way of the door and sliding it open.

Evans and Hooch looked up at his entrance. James opened his mouth to greet her politely, just like he'd practiced the whole summer, when Sirius interrupted.

"Hey Evans!" he said gleefully, "Head Girl, eh? Commiserations!"

"Thank you Sirius," Lily said gracefully, "I'm going to need them, since I'll be working, or clearing up after Potter."

"Ouch," Remus said as Peter smiled.

"How long was that, mate?" Sirius asked James, "three seconds? Must be some sort of record."

James grinned and ran his fingers through his hair instinctively. This may seem like a completely bizarre reaction, but James had never let the fact that Lily clearly detested him be a bother. She was gorgeous, funny, clever as a fox playing poker, and seeing her eyes flash in fury when he tried to ask her out proved that she at least had _some_ feelings towards him.

Of course, when he asked her out, he would have preferred her to say yes, come with him, let him entertain her and have the time of her life, but . . . good things came to those who got a vast array of insults and death threats sent at them.

"How was your summer, Lily?" asked Remus. The Head Girl smiled at him and James was instantly insanely jealous.

"It was good," Lily said, "My sister got married."

"Really?"

"Yeah, to some company owner called Vernon Dursley," she said.

"Looks like a rhino on Pepper-up Potion," Verity added with a sly smile.

"I meant to ask you something, Lily," Sirius said thoughtfully, "What was it? Oh, yes! Will you grace my friend Prongs here with your presence on the first Hogsmeade trip for a walk? Maybe a Butterbeer or two? A kiss or two- Oof!" James hit him in the stomach.

The Head Boy's eyes widened, as he hadn't requested Sirius to ask Lily out for him. Still, he couldn't help listening in a desperately hopeful mood.

"Well, you can tell Potter that he can shove his invitation up his backside, along with all his other invitations and his head," Lily said tonelessly.

"Oh well," James said, with a smile and a shrug, "Maybe next time."

"You can also tell Potter that I don't have a clue why he's even bothering! It's not as if I'm suddenly going to jump up and leave Amos just because he asked me out for the zillionth time."

"Ok, maybe not next time," James chuckled. "How is old Dastardly Diggory then?" he asked, earning himself a glare that would have melted an iceberg.

"He's good, he wrote to me a few times over the summer, not that it's any of your business. I think I'll go and find him."

So she got up, pushing James forcefully out of the way when he refused to move, and stomped out of the compartment.

"Why do you wind her up so much, James?" asked Verity once the door had shut with a click.

"I don't!" insisted James. He ran his fingers through his hair and bit his lip when he was bombarded with disbelieving looks and raised eyebrows. "I dunno, I don't do it on purpose. It just happens! I do something stupid, coz that's how I am and she gets irritated, and I find it funny and then she gets really angry and then-" he grimaced.

"She takes decisive action?" asked Remus, with a smirk, remembering all the times he had woken up in the hospital wing after a full moon and found James in the bed beside his.

"In a manner of speaking, yes," answered James.

"In a painful manner of speaking?" asked Remus.

"Perhaps."

"So in effect," mused Sirius, "You are completely and firmly screwed."

"Yep," smiled James. "But, there's always hope."

"And there's always me," added Verity, inspecting her fingernails.

"What are you talking about Hooch?" asked Sirius. "Prongs wouldn't ask you out, his breath's already wasted on Evans."

"No, I mean, I'm her best friend, you twat," Verity tutted, rolling her eyes. "Which means _I_ know how she thinks, and _I_ know how she acts so based on a careful observation of how she acts around you I can tell that she really-"

"Is desperately in love with me?" asked James hopefully. Verity gave him a pitying look before continuing.

"_That_ possibility is completely out of the question," she said. "All right, let's see. How about this?" She took a deep breath. "Your relationship is a lot like Quidditch." The boys stared at her in confusion.

"What? James keeps losing?" asked Peter.

"Shut up, Wormtail, I'm listening to this," James said.

"Ok, from James's point of point of view, Lily is his goal, and all he wants to do is score," Verity was waving her hands about like she did when she was discussing aspects of the game after practice with any member of the team who would listen. "So he keeps taking shots, and the whole reason he keeps missing is because he hasn't thought about his tactics or practiced enough."

"I practise loads!" argued James. Verity ignored him.

"Now from _Lily's_ point of view, she and James are opposing teams . . ."

"That much is obvious," smirked Remus.

". . . and she's really competitive, who are we kidding? She hates his guts because he keeps trying to score and it doesn't work and it's just irritating that he keeps trying. But-"

"There's a 'but'?" asked James hopefully.

"Yes, there's a 'but'. But, as with any game, you can't _play_ without an opposing team. Even though we may hate the Slytherins, we can't thrash them if they aren't there. Do you see? Without you, James, Lily wouldn't be able to vent her anger and she wouldn't be secretly flattered that you've kept trying for so long. In summary: she needs you."

"Wow," Peter said. "I just always thought Lily plain hated Prongs."

"I understand," Remus said to James. "She hates you . . ."

"But she needs me," James said quietly, with a grin so big it looked like it was going to swallow his head.

* * *

Lily had calmed down a little in her walk down the train and it wasn't long before she found the object of her search. Amos Diggory was slumped in a seat of a compartment, laughing his head off as Lily peered through the window and smiled. He was with a couple of his Ravenclaw friends, a few Hufflepuffs and a Gryffindor sixth year.

She slid back the door and waited for him to notice her . . . it took a little while.

As she stood there, for the first time in her life, she wished Amos had James Potter's radar capacity to know exactly where she was at any given moment. She cleared her throat.

He looked up at her and his eyes widened in shock.

"Lily!" he said. "You're Head Girl!" Ah, that explained it.

He got up and looked her up and down. Lily swallowed, she knew she had filled out her skinny bones over the summer, but there was no need to make it so obvious in front of _everyone_. Maybe _that_ explained it.

They went out of the compartment and looked at each other for a few seconds until Lily stepped forward and pecked him on the cheek, he wasn't very tall.

"Hi," she said, wondering why he hadn't made his usual move to snog her blind.

"Why didn't you tell me you were Head Girl?" he asked, smiling nervously.

"I wanted it to be a surprise," Lily said coyly. _I also didn't want to rub it in your face in case you weren't Head Boy; which you aren't, Potter is_.

He seemed to relax. "It was a very good surprise," he grinned and leaned forward to kiss her.

* * *

Excessive amounts of gobstoppers had made the boys' mouths taste strange, so instead of eating them, they were playing a game of 'Hit The Doorknob'. Verity was keeping score.

Remus's gobstopper missed the target and instead hit the window. The pane cracked and splintered onto the floor as Remus cringed.

"You hypocrite, Moony," laughed Sirius, provoking his friend to smile as well. James pulled out his wand.

"Nevermind Moony, that's why you're commentating Quidditch. _Reparo_!"

The shards flew back into the window, but not necessarily into place. They cracked even more as they struggled to fit into the wrong places, leaving welded bits and little spaces.

"Whoops," grinned James, "Where's Lily when you need her?"

"Your go," Remus said to James. James chucked a sugar ball from his pile, where it hit the knob directly in the centre. This game was really doing marvels for his aim, but not marvels for his friendship with Lily, who walked into the compartment just as Sirius had chucked his gobstopper.

It flew straight at her, bonking her square on the forehead before being snatched out of the air by her quick fingers.

"Ow!" she exclaimed, outraged. "What the frig was _that_ in aid of?" she asked, glaring around the compartment. James bit his lip.

"Er, sorry Lily," he said looking so genuinely sorry that Lily almost forgave him. "We were playing 'Hit the-', wait a minute." He jerked his pointing finger from Sirius to Lily. "Do that again."

All faint considerations of forgiveness were blown out of Lily's brain by the indignation of that order. Sirius lobbed another gobstopper at the Head Girl, who seized it out of the air before it could do her any injury.

"Stop it!" she demanded, going pink with anger.

"Do it again," James said. Sirius's eyebrows jumped before he threw another sweet at Lily. She had opened her hand before it was even halfway across the compartment. It whizzed into her open palm before her thin, pale fingers clamped shut around it.

"Right," she said, putting her sweet-filled hands on her hips, "Well done, you two can be the very first people I take points off once we get to school, what do you think of _that_?" Why was the stupid fool _grinning_!?

"I don't care!" James declared gleefully, "I've found myself a Seeker!"

There was silence for a few seconds, as, one by one, the occupants of the compartment smiled, except the Head Girl, that is.

"What in the name of Merlin's Y-fronts are you talking about, Potter?" she demanded, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Thank you!" cried Verity, slicing the air with her palm at James and then at Lily. "I kept telling her she could do it."

"Seeker?" asked Lily, as if she were talking about a particularly rowdy student, (namely James). "You mean, as in _Quidditch_?"

"Yep!" James cried jubilantly, "Welcome to the team!" Delightedly, he found an excuse to rush over and sweep her up into a hug. She made an odd 'Oof!' sound and then an angry "Get off!" sound. Reluctantly, he complied.

"And I'm _not_ on the team!" she stated, straightening her school uniform.

"What, why not?" asked James urgently, grabbing her wrist and dragging her outside into the corridor, for the train had come to a stop.

"Are you pathologically cretinous?" she said, wrenching her wrist out of his grasp. "I hate Quidditch and I don't know how to fly."

"I'll teach you, it's not that hard!" James grinned. "Hi Hagrid!"

"Hullo James!" the impressively tall man greeted. "Hullo Lily. Head students, eh? C'ngratulations!"

"Thank you, Hagrid," Lily said distractedly.

"Hagrid, I want Lily to be our Gryffindor Seeker, but she's being too damn difficult," James said, seizing Lily's hand again and dragging her with the first years to their massive friend.

"I am not being difficult," Lily said sullenly, yanking at her hand.

"Can you persuade her that she should take the position?" asked James holding on for dear life.

"Firs' Years! Well, all I can say isat James's Seeker is the most sought afta' position in this 'ere school," Hagrid agreed, "I saw tha' crowd on the pitch that day you was havin' tryouts, James. Firs' Years! Over 'Ere!"

"Thanks Hagrid," James grinned, "See you at the feast!" He then dragged Lily over to the horseless carriages that stood waiting to be filled with students. "See Lily?" he asked, tugging her hand round so that she faced him. "Everyone wants this position. We had sodding _Slytherins_ trying out that day last year!"

"Potter, _let go of my hand_," Lily said through gritted teeth in a voice that would have sent the biggest, toughest, stupidest troll running for his life.

"Only if you promise me to think about it, Lily," he said seriously. He held up their hands, his grasping her pale, struggling spider-fingers. Lily's eyes flashed up at him in fury, but she abruptly stopped fighting when she saw the look in his eyes. It was strange.

"I want this hand, Lily," he told her quietly, but she could hear him loud and clear. "I want this hand to catch the Snitch for me," he added, silently making sure it _was_ her right hand. "Just think about it? Please?"

Those green eyes were staring at him in a kind of awe. That awe was the thing that made him scared to hold onto her hand any more. It made him lose his nerve.

Quickly, he kissed the back of her hand and released it, turning round to run along the carriages to find his friends. Lily's hand was still suspended above her head as the last of the student clambered into the vehicles, (James was very tall). Slowly, she lowered it and stared at it, wondering what on Earth was so special about it.

Plunging back into reality, she spun around and spotted Verity waving at her, nearly falling sideways out of a carriage. Hurriedly, before the doors shut and she was left there on the platform (not a good start for a Head Girl, she was sure), she ran and hopped up the steps.

"So did James convince you?" asked Verity, once they were sat down and she had started to check her dirty blonde spikes were still standing up satisfactorily. Unfortunately, Lily had come to the conclusion that Potter was just as irresponsible and shifty as she had previously thought.

_She also wished to take how she had felt when he had looked into her eyes and kissed her hand with her to the grave._

"**Don't** talk to me about _that_ twat," Lily fumed, "I am **not** joining his stupid Quidditch team, I am **never** going to let him touch me again, and I **won't** be subject to his emotional blackmail!"

"Hold on," Verity said, her yellow, hawk-like eyes blinking in confusion, hand still hovering above her prickly head. "Start from the beginning?"

****

* * *

Professor Dumbledore shuffled his papers on his desk as if he were a newsreader in fancy dress. Shoving them to the side and clasping his hands in his desk, he smiled from James to Lily and back again for a few seconds.

"Firstly I would like to congratulate you both on your new positions of responsibility. I'm sure you will both do a fantastic job of it; that's why I chose you.

"I have a couple of things for you, you will meet the prefects of each house every Thursday afternoon at quarter past four. Your duties are essentially the same as a prefect's except you have the capacity to take away points, you have your own rooms, bathroom, and you have additional responsibilities such as being in place as the students' gateway to the faculty and helping any student in need. You'll find a list of all responsibilities and privileges in your hallway.

"Speaking of your living quarters, you must be tired. You'll find them in the corridor leading to the Astronomy Tower, third door to the left, password's 'Loopy-Loo' but you can change it to whatever you wish. Any questions?" He glanced from boy to girl again.

"Don't think so," James said, wrinkling his nose and pouting. Lily just shook her head jerkily, casting the boy beside her suspicious and furtive looks. Dumbledore's bushy, silver eyebrows rose a fraction of a millimetre, like clouds on a windy day.

"Well, I think that's all then. Goodnight and thank you for your time."

As soon as the last word was out from under his moustache, Lily had bolted from the room to the door and transferred herself to the other side in less than a second, shooting James a look of faint fright somewhere in the duration of this action.

James sighed in a melancholy way. She was avoiding him for some reason, probably suspicious of him getting a hold of her and forcing her to join the Quidditch team. Glancing back at the headmaster, he saw a look of mild interest imprinted on the man's face, the kind of look one might wear when reading the end of a story which didn't go exactly how one thought it would. James thought he'd better explain, he didn't mind talking to Dumbledore, the headmaster would probably know about it soon anyway, if he didn't already. Sometimes James thought that Dumbledore knew about every single speck of _dust_ that entered his school.

"I want Lily to join the Quidditch team," he said. Dumbledore's expression flashed to 'Ah' and then back to 'Huh?' again. "And she hasn't really taken to the idea. She says she hates Quidditch and flying, and then of course, she's hates **me** more than she hates the afore said." The old mans' expression changed, (very briefly) to pity. "But I'm not going to give up _that _easily. She has the best untrained reflexes I've ever seen. Probably because I used to pelt her with all manner of disgusting things when we were eleven."

"That'll be it," agreed Dumbledore. "Pray tell, _how_ did you discover Miss Evans's reflexive speed?"

"I was throwing gobstoppers at her," James admitted. "Not on purpose, of course." Dumbledore's expression turned to 'Of course'. "As I said: I'm not going to give up _that_ easily on making her my Seeker, and I'm going to give up less easily on getting her as a . . . friend."

"And how are you going to do that, my dear Mr Potter?" asked Dumbledore, leaning his elbows on the desk and putting the tips of his fingers together. His tone implied he was in a pantomime and he already knew the answer to the question, the plot and the ending.

James turned toward the door that Lily had just disappeared out of. He remembered what Verity had said on the train and decided to take her word for it. After all, it was a strategy he could understand, if it had the slightest thing to do with Quidditch.

"I have to work on my tactics and practice a lot," he said, more to himself than the man behind the desk, "I have to convince her that we're on the same team."

Taking this incentive, he turned his body in the direction of his head and strode out of the headmaster's office.

Dumbledore stared after him, his expression now one of contented anticipation. Inhaling, he took his elbows off the table and slapped the surface in a motion to get up. Sighing and smiling as he rose, he said to himself,

"Let the games begin!"

* * *

****

**a/n** Thanks muchly to Rose for betaing! I luff you, I really do.

Also, I should probably say that I am going to Barcelona for a week tomorrow, so it'll probably be a while before I update again, but that shouldn't deter you from reviewing and giving me lots of constructive criticism to read when I get back and am on the verge of synaptic breakdown due to my impending art mock exam. It may just take my mind off things.

**Next chappy:**

Will James persuade Lily to join his team? Probably not, but there's always small chance in hell.

Will Rita Skeeter cause mass mayhem with her horrid ability to banter on about cutting (and questionable) gossip? Very likely.

And will the chapters have an annoying habit of getting shorter every time like in the last fic? Sod's law says yes.


	2. The Rant of Rita

**Two – The Rant of Rita. . .**

"Lily! Lily, wait a minute!"

Lily inwardly cursed as his voice carried to her through the dark castle corridors. Wouldn't that twat just _take a hint_?

She would have decided that the best way to avoid the situation would be to do a runner, sprint up to the Heads' dorms, lock the door, hammer a few planks across the doorframe and shove a wardrobe or two against it . . . if it weren't for the fact that she had clean forgotten where Dumbledore had said their dorms were.

Silently praying to everything holy that he wouldn't push it, she stopped wandering in what she had hoped was the right direction and folded her arms across her chest, refusing herself to speak to him.

"Look, Lily, I said I'd let you think about it and I am, so I won't say anything remotely associated with Quidditch until tomorrow, savvy?"

He saw her eyes flick towards him in surprise and a dash of gratitude. _Whoa,_ that was unexpected. She must _really_ not want to talk about Quidditch. However a second later she'd turned her face to the front again and set her face back to the 'you may not talk about Quidditch, but I don't want to talk to you, period' setting.

This soon changed when they arrived in the corridor leading to the Astronomy Tower, third door to the left. It was a double door, with sunken, gold rimmed panels and two gold door handles curling out from the middle. In between the two panels of each door, there was a small golden shape of a prefect's badge, and under those, two elegant golden handlebar doorknockers.

"What did Dumbledore say the password was?" asked James, knowing perfectly well that Lily didn't have a clue. She had a worried look on her face.

"I . . . don't really remember," she muttered, her eyes flashed at him. "Did _you_ catch it?" James sighed.

"Can't say I did."

He knew he was playing with fire, but he couldn't help it. Her eyes widened in fear.

"Oh bugger," she muttered in horror, "What are we going to do now, Potter? Dumbledore will have gone to bed and I am _not_ sleeping out here tonight! All my stuff's in there!"

"All right, calm down, Lilo," James said, grinning as he played with her name. "I was only pissing about, the password's Loopy-Loo."

The light-wooded double doors swung open once the handles had clicked downwards. Lily was gaping at James in indignation, looking like she would have given both her left limbs to curse him off the face of the planet.

She had to content herself with giving him a good smack round the torso however, and extracting an 'Ow! Bloody hell!' from the Head Boy. Furiously, she stormed into the corridor leading to a circular room, without paying much attention to her surroundings, grabbed a rectangular package from the table in the middle of the room and stormed up the staircase off to the right.

James massaged his chest, smiling in a stupid way and looked around. Crickey, this was _nice_. If he had thought the Gryffindor Tower was fancy, it was like a poor house compared to _this_.

Everything was made of the same, light-coloured, polished wood as the doors, the floor, the ceiling, the furniture . . . The walls had large, colourful tapestries, depicting scenes from wizarding history between the big, arch-shaped, stained glass windows. There was a circular coffee table in the middle of the room on a large, circular, purple rug and a sofa plus a couple of armchairs were stationed around the room, matching the rug with their purple upholstery.

Lily had disappeared through a single, wood-panelled door with 'Lily Evans' written on the panel in gold, and under that, there was another gold doorknocker, and James turned to the one opposite to see his name in gold calligraphy on the wood. There was also another door between labelled: 'Bathroom', and above that, a large, sweeping balcony from a polished wooden staircase, lined with bookshelves, between which sat a large, majestic, arch window. He picked up the remaining rectangular package lying on the coffee table and headed up to his room.

Chucking the package wrapped in brown paper onto the wooden desk, he opened his trunk that had been placed at the foot of his bed, located his pyjamas, and not bothering to brush his teeth, fell into bed, pulling the purple hangings shut around him.

* * *

Lily lay on her purple duvet in her nightdress, looking through the brown package. It contained a stack of parchment, (and James soon discovered this as well, disappointed that it was not any kind of gift,) outlining the privileges and responsibilities of the Heads.

Tired out, Lily dropped the parchments beside her bed and snuggled down under the covers, curling up like a kitten.

She missed Verity already, Verity who would probably now be nagging her to make up her mind about Potter's offer.

It wasn't that she didn't want to help Gryffindor, she'd always come to matches and cheered Gryffindor on, (she'd cheered _Gryffindor_ on, she _definitely_ had not cheered for '_the most gorgeous guy in Hogwarts, James Potter!_' as some girls liked to refer to him as,) but she wasn't sure she was prepared to risk life and limb for the Quidditch Cup, like some players did.

Why, only last year, the whole school had witnessed Josh Fettrows, a Ravenclaw Beater being catapulted straight into the commentator's box after another player had grabbed the tail of his broom and held it back. Poor Remus Lupin, who had been commentating as usual, had been required to duck rather quickly and help Professor McGonagall pull the Beater's head out of the space where it had been wedged between the stands. Later, in the Hospital Wing, Rita Skeeter had asked Josh if he planned to go back to Beating after he'd recovered from his injury, and he'd replied that only if Madam Pomfrey managed to get his vision back to its wider span after she'd narrowed his head in order to get it out from under the stands.

Having said that, Lily had always been a little jealous of the rush and excitement Verity had always experienced before a match. She had always envied the team spirit and enthusiasm that coursed through her friend through practices and matches, and jealousy was not something Lily Evans was partial to feeling.

But _no_! Jealousy was no reason to say yes, and _James – HugeHeadBoy – Potter_ was even more of a reason to say no. Helping that arrogant, self-assured wanker was the absolute last thing Lily would want to do, so that night, Lily made her mind up to tell Potter that there was no way in the fires of Hell she'd do it.

* * *

"Morning!" shouted Sirius as loudly as he could when James emerged from the Head's Dorms the next morning.

"Flaming fire-crabs, Padfoot," James said groggily, "How can you be so bloody ear-splitting this early in the morning?"

"Only for you, dear bestest, best friend of mine," Sirius said cheerfully. "I do hope you cornered our Lily this morning and nagged her to join our fashionably exclusive club."

"What club?" asked James, frowning blearily as he polished his glasses on his grey sweater.

"I meant the Quidditch team, you twerp!" Sirius grinned, "Crickey, it must be _really _early in the morning," he muttered hopelessly, until his eyes suddenly lit up with a realisation. "_Or_ were you up late last night with the Head Girl?" he asked in a shamelessly suggestive manner. James went the colour of a stir-fried Quaffle as they entered the Great Hall.

"N-no," he stammered.

Sirius shook his head hopelessly. His best friend may have been the most sought-after bachelor at Hogwarts, he may have been completely unabashed when it came to practical jokes and troublemaking, he may have been bent on winning over Lily and hopelessly besotted with her, but if you mentioned anything remotely associated with sex and stuck James in the middle of a muggle motorway, his face would have caused an eighty-six car pileup from being the colour of a traffic light. "And I didn't get a chance to ask Lily," James continued as he sat down opposite Remus. "She left the room before I could catch her."

"Morning Prongs," greeted Remus, placing an English breakfast in front of his friend, "Still no progress on the sought-after Seeker front?"

"Nope," James said slowly, (as is guessable, James was not a morning person), "I thought I'd better not risk it, I got my first EAI of the year last night." (EAI stood, between the boys, for Evans Acquired Injury.)

"Really?" asked Peter, looking up from his sausages for the first time in the conversation. "Where?"

James stood up and held up his sweater, pulling his shirt out of his trousers as he did so. There, just above his navel, was a patch of red skin in the shape of a small hand.

"Holy Hippogriffs," Sirius exclaimed through his laughter, "That must have been one hard slap."

James smiled faintly and sat down, lowering his shirt before any girl could scream or take a photograph.

"I don't even want to ask what you did, Prongs," Remus said, grinning, when a laminated bit of parchment landed in front of him. James looked up to see Professor McGonagall handing him an identical document.

"Seventh year NEWT timetables," she said in her usual stern tone, "And tuck in your shirt, Potter."

* * *

"Well?" demanded Verity, as soon as Lily had sat down across from her.

"Absolutely not," Lily said calmly, pouring herself a cup of herbal tea. Verity made a 'Tsahch' noise before slapping her hand onto the table in frustration. Unfortunately, her hand hit the edge of her porridge bowl and she upended it straight into her lap.

"Look, Ver," Lily started, pulling out her wand, making Verity's breakfast jump back into her bowl and even charming the sugar-shaker to add some to the porridge, "I've said I'm not doing it, and that's final. You wouldn't be able to change my mind if you threatened to give me twenty flobberworms to keep alive, It's just not for me, OK?"

"Yeah, yeah," said Verity good-naturedly, sweetened by her sugared, tooth-rotting porridge, "I will be blaming you if we lose the Cup though, and James will hate you forever, you know."

Lily automatically prepared a retort on her tongue, some thing like '_I couldn't give Horklump's tentacle what Potter thinks,_' or maybe '_Good, it would certainly be an improvement from him asking me out every hour, on the hour,_' but she didn't say anything.

Verity didn't notice, because she was stuffing herself with porridge, but what she had said had triggered Lily to think very seriously.

_Potter will hate you forever_.

For some reason, this thought pained her a little, although she didn't think Verity really meant it. All she had meant was that James would be a little disappointed with her. Of course he wouldn't _hate_ her, because she had done far worse things and he still made an almost daily point of asking her out, but for him to hate, her . . . well . . .

"Morning Lilo!" Lily cringed as she looked up to see the boy himself grinning at her in that stupid way that drove her up the wall. "I say, I really like that nickname! Don't you?" he asked the company in general.

"Definitely," Verity agreed. "It sounds cute and little. It fits her perfectly! Look at her! She's tiny!" The Marauders smiled as they collectively recalled the time when they had given Lily a pair of violently hot pink, seven-inch high heels for her birthday as a joke. They had made her hex James's legs to dance the cancan because they had prodded two of her buttons: her loathing of the colour pink, and her loathing of anyone who made fun of her size.

"I have an _extremely fast metabolism!_" Lily insisted dangerously once again.

"Then you should eat more," James said reasonably, magicking some syrup-covered waffles onto her as yet empty plate. Lily eyed the steaming creation in a tremendously suspicious manner, before eyeing James in the same manner.

"What do you want?" she asked in a strained tone. For the first time that day, she fully appreciated how early it was.

"I wanted to ask you if you'd thought about joining the team," he said, then he added, "And eat your waffles, they won't make you sprout horns, I promise."

Lily heard nothing of this promise however, because her head was in turmoil.

She had been all set to say something like: '_Not if you were holding your wand to my temple, Potter_," but the words didn't come out because she'd suddenly been struck by her thoughts of last night and Verity's words.

She _would_ like to feel the exhilaration that was so plain on Verity's and all the other players' faces during the matches, she _would_ like to help Gryffindor win the Quidditch and even the House Cup, and . . .

_Potter will hate you forever_.

She just didn't understand why it would mean so much to her! It was absolutely absurd, ridiculous, unheard of!

Lily was not a girl who was accustomed to not being able to make sense of her feelings, it just didn't happen, she was always so sure of herself. A doubt concerning something she had always been so convinced of confused her, scared her even.

This was so distressing that her panicked mind resorted to something concrete, orderly, pre-decided.

"No, James, I don't want to join your Quidditch team," she said in a distinct, slightly forced voice to her waffles.

James frowned. He had expected something like: '_Not if you were holding your wand to my temple, Potter_,' but this was _new_. Well, in any case, it didn't change the end result of her words.

"All right, Lilo," he said resignedly, "I'll accept your decision . . . for now."

With that, he hitched his books further under his arm, pushed his square, thin glasses up his nose and disappeared off to Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Lily looked down at her waffles a tad miserably, then she sensed Verity staring at her, which, indeed, she was.

"What?" she asked, sighing.

"Are you _sorry_ for not helping _Potter_?" Verity asked incredulously.

"No," Lily said quickly. Verity pasted a disbelieving look on her face. "It's just that . . ." Lily continued hastily, "It's just that, you know . . . '_I'll accept your decision . . . for now_,'" she mimicked, "It's like his attitude to get me to go out with him. He's going to ask every day until I say yes."

Verity seemed to accept this as an answer because she just shrugged her shoulders in a sorry motion.

"I dunno Lils, maybe, but you know James, he's one of the most determined people there is. The only thing you could do would be to just keep saying no."

"Or inflict bodily harm," Lily said unhappily, but this time, her heart wasn't in her words.

"Come on, cheer up, we've got Defence," Verity said, and the two girls picked up their books and headed off in the direction of the Marauders, not knowing that someone had been listening to their conversation like a six-year-old would listen to their parents discussing where to hide the Christmas presents.

* * *

Rita Skeeter had always hated Lily Evans. Her whole attitude towards the girl was simply:

'It is _sahoooowah__ unfaaiirrah_.'

Rita felt resentful towards Evans for a lot of reasons. For instance, her appearance didn't make sense. Everyone at Hogwarts would have said that Evans was more than exceptionally pretty, (_especially James Potter_ she thought angrily) but the girl had _red hair_. Whoever heard of a pretty girl who was short and flat-chested with red ringlets, a pale face and _freckles_, for crying out loud? Pretty girls _always_ had blonde, straight hair, tanned, flawless skin, and were never short or disgustingly skinny, like Evans. Granted, she had filled out a bit in the past year, but _still._ What's more, Rita had dyed her hair blonde, regularly attacked her frizz to plaster it flat and straight against her head, been to Spain and tanned by the dictation of an egg timer, and was by no means, under-endowed.

However, it was still clear that she didn't get nearly as much attention as Evans from the male population of Hogwarts, (_especially James Potter_ she thought angrily.)

She didn't understand what James, (her long time crush), saw in that skinny, stuck-up cow. Fine, she was clever, and funny, and charismatic, and nice to the first years . . . but there was nothing _that special_ about her, and she had a horrible temper!

Rita smiled as she sat down in Charms, opened her bag, and found the poisonous green coloured quill she'd been given for her birthday. This year would be interesting, she promised herself, this year she would make James notice her, and shake his adoration for Evans. She had heard all she needed at the breakfast table to set her plan in motion.

Rita grinned inside as people filed in and sat down around her, not next to her. She had never been terribly popular with members of her own house, or the Gryffindors, or the Slytherins, but she did get along well with the Hufflepuffs, who seemed to like her and shared her admiration for James Potter and other school studs.

Just in case though, she dumped her bag on the seat next to her, giving the following universal message:

'Were you thinking of sitting in the seat where my bag is? Er . . . I don't think so! Push off and sit somewhere else, loser!'

To her utter delight, the only two seats left where beside her and James Potter, and Lily Evans and that Quidditch-obsessed girl (what was her name again? Poochie?) had entered the classroom last! Rita watched them out of the corner of her eye and saw Lily converse briefly with the Pooch. They seemed to agree straight away and when Professor Flitwick pattered in and clambered up onto his pile of books, Evans came and sat down next to her! Oh, sweet, malicious, revenge-bent Joy!

Lily sat down after she and Verity had agreed that not only was Verity repulsed by the idea of sitting next to Rita Skeeter, Lily would rather chop herself up, toss herself in a salad and present herself to a Chimaera than sit next to Potter.

She had never really liked Rita, but then again, Rita had never given her a reason to dislike her, so she tried to be as nice as possible to her.

"Hiya!" she whispered cheerfully as she dug a quill and parchment out of the bottom of her bag. (Why were things you needed _always_ at the bottom?!)

"Hi," replied Rita, regarding Lily with a cool air of indifference.

All through the theory work, Lily didn't say anything else to Rita and instead paid full attention in her best subject. Rita paid as much attention as she would have to grass growing, and instead glared subtly at the way James kept staring at Evans. That was another thing she hated about Evans. Potter was obviously head-over-heels in love with her, and she wouldn't even give him the year of the decade, let alone the time of day.

Soon the time rolled around to do some practical charms, _very advanced_ ones.

The seventh years had been set the Ivy-draping charm, commonly used for house-adornment, Christmas decoration and strapping hostages to chairs. People like Lily, James, Sirius, Remus and some of the Ravenclaws, caught on quite quickly, but others, like Rita, Verity and Peter . . . didn't. It was one thing to conjure bubbles or metal out of your wand, they were just atoms, as Lily understood, but conjuring whole organisms? That took a lot of work.

"If you have successfully completed the charm, you can occupy yourselves helping the people around you who have yet to master it," Professor Flitwick squeaked.

Lily smiled at the sight of Remus blushing when Verity asked him to help her and turned to Rita.

"Need any help?" she asked. She would have preferred not to help the haughty Ravenclaw, but one of her Head Girl responsibilities was to help any student in need.

"No thanks," replied Rita coldly, banging her wand quite violently on the table, making Lily raise her eyebrows. Trying her last move, Lily thought it would be nice if she made conversation at least.

"I saw your little sister being sorted in Hufflepuff yesterday," she said, "Congratulations."

"Oh yeah," Rita said indifferently, it was taking all her self control not to lash out at the redhead with something scathing, "I was a bit disappointed that Nita wasn't in Ravenclaw with me, but then again, she's not too bright." Lily was forcefully reminded of Petunia and told herself sternly not to say anything nasty.

"I hear _you've_ been offered the extremely demanded Seeker position on the Gryffindor Quidditch team," Rita said, rummaging in her bag and carefully propping up the lid with a book so the Quick-Quotes Quill had ample room to skip over the page she had assembled at the bottom of her bag.

"How did you know that?" asked Lily. As far as she knew, nobody had been told about Potter's offer apart from the Marauders, Verity and herself.

"I have my sources." ****

**James must have told her!**

Ooooh, she was going to shrink that boy, shove him inside a bottle, screw the lid on tight and throw the whole thing into the lake.

"Well, I'm not taking it," Lily said stubbornly and conversationally at the same time.

"What a shame," remarked Rita, "Oh well, you probably wouldn't be able to handle it all anyway."

"Pardon?" asked Lily, struggling to keep a hold on her manners.

"You know, the Head Girl thing and the Seeker thing, both at once, might be a bit stretching. I mean, I know James Potter can be Head Boy and Captain of Quidditch at the same time, but, you know, he's James Potter, so . . ."

Lily lost it. It was one thing to be told you could do better than James Potter by your best friend, but being told he was better than you by some dumb, wand-blonde Ravenclaw who didn't even know her? That was crossing the line, wiping your feet on it and strolling off into the sunset.

"Homework! Bring a decorative piece of sculpture to next lesson using the Ivy-draping charm! See you then!" shouted Flitwick from behind his desk.

Lily blinked at Rita for a few seconds, as people around her packed up their things for dinner. Rita was looking at her brazenly, daring her to retort, when Lily simply turned on her, stuffing everything into her bag and walked out the door.

Rita frowned and brought the sheet out of her bag on which the Quick-Quotes Quill has scribbled a few lines. __

_Lily Evans, denies she has been offered the glamorous and __trés exclusive place of Gryffindor Seeker, but after a little careful persuasion from attractive, blonde Rita Skeeter, reporter for her new Hogwarts Newsletter, _Hogwarts Hearsay_, Miss Evans admits that she has, in fact, bribed Mr Potter with the promise of her frigid virginity in exchange for the position . . ._

Rita scrunched up the parchment in frustration, there was no way in Azkaban the students would believe that Hippogriff dung, it was as common knowledge that Lily detested Potter as it was common knowledge that Snape washed his hair with the left over cooking oil from the kitchens. What she had really wanted was for Lily to blow up and go on about how much better at anything she was than James. _Then_ Rita would have found a way to get her onto the team and see her make a complete fool of herself.

"Damn," she muttered, striding out of the door.

* * *

James was waiting to corner Lily when she entered the Great Hall for dinner. As he was coming out of Charms, he had realised that his day didn't feel complete. Wait a minute! He hadn't asked Lily out today! That would be it!

As with everyday, he was feeling optimistic. She had to be in a good mood because they had just had Charms, her favourite subject, and she must have been at least a little cheerful because he saw her being nice to _Rita Skeeter_ of all people. Shuddering, James thought that being nice to Skeeter was like being nice to a wasp that was bent on stinging you; it just wasn't worth it.

"**Potter!**" he heard a furious voice call from down the corridor. Oh dung, what had he done now? The whole hall turned to look at him, in anticipation of the Head Girl having her first go at Potter. He caught sight of her rounding the corner, looking flushed, ruffled and in all honesty, damn sexy.

"Evening Lily, dearest," James said nervously as she neared him, trying to soften the blow.

Her eyes felt like they were frying through his skull in fury as she stormed into the view of the hall. Even the teachers were watching the scene like they were watching an episode of a muggle soap where someone important dies.

"Oh, just _shut up_, Potter, I'm in no mood for your ridiculous 'Lily-dearest' bollocks now. I've been looking all bloody over for you!"

"I'm sorry?" tried James, feeling about half as tall as he really was.

"Never mind that," she said, her voice switching from unadulterated anger to rigid business tone, (which was, somehow, more terrifying,) "I changed my mind."

There was a pause in which no one in the hall dared to breathe through. Was this _it_? **Had Lily Evans finally said yes to going out with James Potter?! **

For years after, (until they were sanded down and re-polished,) nail-marks could be seen all over the house tables where people had been gripping them and Amos Diggory had nearly _ripped chunks _out of the Hufflepuff table, with the way he was clutching it.

"You cha- _What?_" asked James.

"I changed my mind," Lily repeated in the same rock-hard tone, "I want you to teach me to fly, I want to learn how to play Quidditch, I want to take your offered Gryffindor Seeker position and I _want_ to kick _serious arse_."

With this parting speech, Lily strode determinedly out of the hall, slamming the door behind her, ("Ouch" it said,) and left the Great Hall in such a silence that you may think it had been struck by a Bubonic Plague epidemic . . . until Sirius broke it, that is.

"I don't think any of you expected her to say _that_."

* * *

**a/n** Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the first chapter. There I was, biting my nails to the bone, nervous as the day is long as to what you fabulous people would have to say. People seem to like Lily because she is sarcastic and funny when she's angry. What larks.

God, it's been so long since I've done this, but replying to reviewers is so fun. It makes me feel at one with the subjects of fandom, you know? I just feel like I'm interacting with people . . . yes, hoorah for the psychedelic over-optimistic vibes.

Anyway, here's come the blurb.

**ZumZumZoo**: Yeah, I do agree. I tried to slow down in this chappy, I hope you find it easier to read. Sorry about the crap bits.

**iluvdraco4eva**: This chapter was actually longer, I think . . . just. Anyway, I DID have fun in Barcelona, it was just amazing and fabulous, and absolutely brill and I hope to go back soon. My exchange was a honey and I had a marvellous time. Weh-hey! :)

**me**: Who? You? Me? What? Hehe. Thankies very much, I shall.

**SatanaChick**: Thanks very much for the good luck, I'll need it. Barcelona was amazing, I'm so glad I went.

**FrighteninglyObsessed**: Applauds happy dance . . . Joins in

**shortywithbrains**: Yes, sarcasm is go-o-o-o-o-od. Hehe. Lily is very sarcky in this fic, then again, she has to put up with various crap, but at least she entertains you.

**Jade Sierra Snape**: I did promise to send you TSoJP, but I never did, you're absolutely right. I shall have to download it from fanfiction . net and send it. I hope to have time soon.

**LJstagflower4e**: Oooooh, compliments galore. I like bantering. It's fun. Especially with random people you meet at Glastonbury, or rude-boy Chavs down the pub, they're so hilarious when they get angry, I very nearly pissed myself laughing when this guy started trying to insult me and my friends in pigeon English. Ahh, fun times. :)

**soccerchic1989**: Updated I have. Thank you so much for the review, It's fab to hear from you again.

**vickiicky**: Thanks muchly for the note, it's really encouraging.

**Tsusetsu**: Cool review. Not completely grammatically correct, but cool nonetheless.

**foxyie xox**: Thanks for the note, good to hear from you again.

**Maigon**** Jesolite**: Thanks my love, so the humorous style is good, then? As you might have guessed, this is not a serious fic. Not as serious as the last one anyway.

**kat-firefly**: Lily should never be a good girl, a good girl would be willing to give James a chance as soon as she saw he had changed and would not be stubbornly determined to crush his young hopes into dust. In other words, if Lily were a good girl, I would have no story.

**Tracey**: Lily's funny when she's pissed. People keep telling me that I am hysterically entertaining when I am pissed, (even thought I think this is a dirty, scum-bag lie) I tried to base Lily's angry reaction on my own, since they apparently so side-splittingly amusing. Grumbles****

**Anne-Janet**: Is a week pretty soon? Are you delighted?

**too**** lazy to sign in**: Thanks, I'd like to know you're name, since you left such a nice message.

**PotterPrincess85**: Oooh, unique. Now there's a fabulous compliment. It's cool to be unique in a fandom of about 150 000 fics. Cheers, my lovely.

**milky way bar**: Trust me, neither can I. Fab to hear from you again, love.

**Lyny Angell**: It's true, Quidditch try-outs are at the beginning of the year, but lamentably, I am as lazy as the day is long, and so my fics are very wrong. Maybe if I weren't so lazy they would be good. Oh well.

**choc chip cookies**: Hi. Thanks. Will do. :)

**siriusforeva**: Does it really? Fancy that. :)

**babeephatangel**: Good, it's fun making people laugh.

**Fanciful Sovereign**: Hehe, I like that part too. It's the fluffy bit. :)

**mika-mitch**: Barcelona was so good. I had such a fab time, you would not believe it. Anyway, now I am back with a new chappy. Yay.

**walkingcensure**: Aw, thanks, my love. See you next chappy.

**She Devil**: Thanks, I really value getting called unique in such a huge fandom. It's people like you that keep me writing. Mwah

**Next Chappy:**

Will Lily realise just how much dung she had gotten herself into? Most likely.

How will Amos Diggory handle his girlfriend being taught to fly by someone who fancies her socks off? Not well, I feel.

Will Rita Skeeter strike again? Almost definitely.

And will the author take no time at all to update even though she's got many various parties, concerts and coursework deadlines to meet? Don't hold your breath.


	3. The Early Chicken

**Three – The Early Chicken . . .**

It was only once Lily had stormed up to the Heads' Dorm, run through the hall, up the stairs into her room, locking the door behind her, and slumped against the panelling, that she fully realised what her outburst at Rita Skeeter had made her do.

"Oh bugger," she muttered quietly, sliding down the door and laying her head on her knees. She'd _really_ done it now, she thought miserably. Not only did she now have to learn how to fly, but she had to have _James Potter_ teaching her, of all people, and to make matters worse, she'd announced it _in front of the whole school_, so there was no way she could back out of it now.

A few knocks echoed through the Heads' Dorms, making Lily jump clear out of her skin. Lily frowned. Who would want to talk to their Head Girl now? Everyone was still at dinner and Potter knew the password. _Unless he was trying to get her to come down and talk to him._No, even he wasn't so stupid as to force Lily to talk when she was pissed off. That was just suicide.

Lily got shakily to her feet, as if she'd been at the Ogden's, opened the door to the stairs and went down into the Hall, regarding the double doors suspiciously. Taking her wand out of her bag that she'd dumped by it, she muttered 'Transparencia,' and drew a small rectangle on the wood. The wood seemed to vanish, presenting her with a pair of hawk-like eyes and a mop of dirty blonde, spiky hair.

"It's _me_, you silly-billy," called Verity from the other side of the door, "Don't you _know_ by now that I'm the only one who can see you in this state without needing a cremation appointment?" Lily smiled and sighed, opening the door.

Verity stood holding a tray with some dinner on it. Grinning, she swept into the room and put it down on the coffee table.

"Hey, _nice!_" she exclaimed, gazing round, "Blimey, this place is dolled up for one of the Queen's garden parties, innit?"

"Yeah," Lily agreed, picking up a BLT from the tray her friend had brought. "Wanna tour while I tell you what happened?" she asked with her mouth full, spraying bits of lettuce on the carpet.

"I thought you'd never ask," Verity said, smiling and looping her arm through Lily's.

* * *

All through dinner, people kept coming to congratulate James on his finding a new Seeker for his team. Of course, there were a few 'And there was me thinking it was your lucky day, mate,' and also a few 'Are you sure you're still going to be alive after this year?' and, of course, a few 'I cannot _believe_ you chose _her_ and not _me_! Mark my words, Potter, you'll be sorry! Hey! What are you-? Gerroff me! You haven't heard the last of meeeeee!' 

"He's been needing help for years," remarked Remus, skewering a tomato on his fork.

"I wonder what caused Lily to change her mind," said Peter thoughtfully, a tone that was extremely rare to be caught coming out of his mouth, and by rights, should have been put in a museum.

"The way a girl's mind works is a mystery as deep as a well, Wormtail, ol' buddy," Sirius said, "And should only be attempted to be understood by fully qualified deadly stunt-wizards." He turned his eyes to his best friend. James was staring off into space as if all his thought processes had been put in a Deepfreeze.

"Are you conscious, Prongs?" asked Remus, with a slightly amused look on his face. James blinked and jerked his head round to look at all his friends.

"Yeah, yeah," she said softly, "It's just . . ." his face cracked into a grin that looked as if it was going to swallow up his whole head, "I'm going to teach Lily Evans how to fly!" Sirius rolled his eyes and put a finger to his ear.

"Zzzz! Yes, is this W.I.S.E#? We've lost contact with Voyager Prongs18! Repeat! We'vee _lost contact_ with Prongs18!"

"Save your carbon dioxide emissions, Padfoot, he was long gone ages ago," grinned Remus, earning himself a small, back-handed smack from the boy in question.

A shadow fell across their table and everyone, including James looked up curiously. Amos Diggory was standing with his arms folded over his chest, looking like he wanted to take something outside.

"Can we _help_ you?" Sirius asked, with a look on his face that suggested he was talking to a bucket of mouldy frogspawn.

"Actually, yes, you can," the Hufflepuff said with suppressed anger bubbling through his voice. He wasn't talking to Sirius, he was talking to James.

"Oh brilliant," Remus said cheerfully.

"Yeah," agreed James, "We can either help you leave, help you get some anger management, or help you drown yourself in the lake, the choice is yours."

Diggory lunged forward, slamming his palms on the table and knocked over a bowl of kiwis. He leaned into James's face as James stared calmly back with a slightly curious look on his face. The population of the Hall spun round, ceasing all talk to watch. Most of them couldn't believe their luck;_ two seventh year spats in one day?_ This was just _too entertaining_!

"Look, _Potter_," Diggory spat, "I am _not_ having a perverted freak like you going anywhere near _my Lily_ any more than necessary. It's dangerous enough for her to share Heads' duties with you, (Merlin knows what goes on in yout mind at night with her only a few metres away,) but you teaching her to fly is going _too far_. If you don't mind, **I** will be teaching Lily how to fly, **not you**."

James lowered his hazel eyes from Diggory's watery blue ones, and located a napkin lying in on the table a little way away. He picked it up perfectly calmly, removed his glasses and started wiping off all the spit flecks that had accumulated on his lenses through Diggory's rant. Tossing the napkin back on the table, he replaced his glasses and regarded the Hufflepuff for a few seconds.

"Thank you for that, Diggory. I'm touched that you think me impulsive enough to try anything on Lily, but the fact is I've been in love with your girlfriend for close on six years and I've been living within a few metres of her for nearly seven. Despite this, I'm sure far more perverse, twisted and disturbing things have gone on in your mind at night, even with you all the way on the other side of this castle, so . . . you know . . . thanks, but no thanks," James said pleasantly.

"I wasn't _asking _you not to touch my girlfriend, Potter, I was _telling_ you that you won't," Diggory said poisonously.

James stood up, causing Diggory to jump backwards off the Gryffindor table rather quickly.

"Yes, well, that's funny isn't it?" James said, his voice rising a few notches. "It's funny how you can assume Lily's your possession, your property," he said disgustedly. "But guess again Diggory, because she's _not_! And neither is it your business to decide whom she wants to touch her and whom she doesn't, and, of course, it's not your right to decide who teaches Lily to fly.

"Now _I _offered her a place on _my _team for _our _house, and there is no way in the horrors of Azkaban that I'm putting the education of my Seeker in the hands of some Pretty Boy Hufflepuff, so I'm sure you'll understand why I have to tell you to take your request and go strangle yourself with it."

"Enough!" came a voice from the direction of the top table. McGonagall was standing next to Diggory and the boys hadn't even noticed her stride towards them though their argument. "What a repulsive display of inter-house competition gone astray," she said sharply. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Mr Diggory, picking a fight with the Head Boy, and you Mr Potter, should not have answered back. Now, Miss Evans will be taught the art of flying by Mr Potter, as she requested only fifteen minutes ago, and I will be taking twenty points from Hufflepuff and five from Gryffindor. Good evening to you both."

* * *

"Loopy-loo." 

As James entered the Heads' Dorms, he saw Verity close the door to Lily's staircase and grin at him.

"Howdy!" she said cheerfully, as James walked over to one of the sofas and flopped down exhaustedly.

"How's Lilo?" asked James, taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"She's a tad upset," said Verity gently, throwing herself down next to James and settling her trainers on the coffee table. "She regrets saying yes to you and she knows she can't take it back because she fears the wrath of Gryffindors everywhere. What happened to _you_? You're supposed to be jumping for joy, you've just got yourself a Seeker."

"Oh, it's nothing," James said, "Diggory just went all over-protective and psycho on me, accusing me of being a perv and telling me not to touch his girlfriend."

"You know, personally, I think he's a psycho too, and a wanker at that." A panicked expression crossed Verity's face. "You won't tell her I said that, will you? She'll be after my blood."

"Your secret's safe with me, Hooch, I've only just found myself a Seeker, I don't want my Chasers popping off left, right and centre."

"You should probably pray Lily doesn't kill you this year, then," grinned Verity.

"So why did she say yes?" asked James, chucking his glasses next to Verity's feet.

"Aw, that evil Skeeter girl got up her nose, saying she wouldn't be able to handle the pressure."

"Merlin, what a cow," muttered James.

"I'll say," agreed Verity. "So what's the plan, lover-boy? How're you gonna make it worth Lily's while, huh?"

"Merlin knows," James said miserably, "Oh, this is awful. If Lily's feeling crap about it, then I _hate_ the idea. I can't have her on the team if she's gonna hate it and hate me for it. What am I gonna do, Verity?" he asked hopelessly.

"James, come _on_, man," Verity said, a bit worried. "Get a grip, everything's gonna fine, you'll see. I'm sure with _you _teaching her, she'll love playing as much as you do. Don't worry, she won't regret it for long."

"Yeah . . . yeah," he grinned. "Tomorrow's Saturday, we'll start then!"

"Er, maybe you should wai-" started Verity, cringing slightly, but James had already jumped up from the sofa and skipped off to his staircase.

"Verity Hooch, you're a star! What would I do without you?" he asked, and closed the door behind him.

"Well, you probably wouldn't be looking up various counter-curses in the Library tomorrow," Verity answered, slipping out of the double doors.

* * *

James was decidedly nervous as he banged the doorknocker on Lily's door the next morning. Swallowing, he gripped the handles of the two brooms he was carrying in his left hand and got himself in the right frame of mind should he need to duck for any reason. 

He'd gotten up ridiculously early that morning, washed, dressed, attacked his hair with especial care and gone down to the kitchens to ask for the blackest and most disgusting coffee he'd ever drunk to make him awake enough to face Lily.

He gave a small gasp as Lily wrenched open the door in her nightdress and fluffy slippers, holding a wand and looking as if she would have liked to have a shotgun under her arm. James though it should be made a criminal offence to be that gorgeous this early in the morning.

It took her a few seconds to recognise him while she groggily focused her brilliantly green irises. Then she took a deep breath and said,

"Potter, you have exactly three seconds to tell me why you are rousing me from my lovely bed at the sinful hour of seven a.m. on a Saturday, before I knock you out, cut your skull open and scramble your brains with an egg whisk. Go," she ordered.

"Flying lesson!" James said quickly. "Quidditch pitch! Come on!"

Lily stared at him.

"You have _got_ to be joking," she said hoarsely, "Potter, it's Saturday morning, it's freezing . . ." she trailed off, unable to think of another reason, "And I hate you," -good enough, "Why in the name of my lovely, warm, cosy bed would I come out with you?"

"Because you're going to need a lot of practice at flying if you want to get good enough to 'kick serious arse' as you told me yesterday, and I want to teach you as well as I can so as you can make a complete fool of that cow, Rita Skeeter who insulted you."

Lily raised her wand to his throat.

"I don't know how you found out about that, but I want you never to speak of it again."

"Of course, my dear Lilo, now go and get dressed," James said, before Lily sent him an irritated look and slammed the door in his face. "And don't wear a skirt!" he shouted through the door as an afterthought.

Thankfully, it wasn't windy, but it was still cold enough to make you want an extra half hour in bed if it had been a Monday morning, and Lily wouldn't stop grumbling all the way down to the pitch.

"Come on, Lilo, it's not _that bad_," James said reasonably, "Here."

He pulled out his wand, plucked two blades of grass from the ground and transfigured them into a pair of red silk gloves and a matching scarf.

"Thank you, Potter," she said sarcastically, "But if you hadn't dragged me down here in the first place, then I would have no need for you to show off your transfiguration skills, anyway."

"Wow, an underhanded compliment," James smiled, "This is progress."

"No, it's not, I still hate you more than anyone else in the entire world."

"You're such a charming, pleasant conversationalist," laughed James, trying to hand her the gloves and scarf, but she wasn't having any of it.

"Only to people who deserve it," she answered, forcing him to drape the scarf round her neck and yank her hands out of their folded position to tug the gloves on.

"There," he said finally, slipping her last little finger into its place. "Better?"

"I suppose so," she said resignedly, a little of the annoyance had worn off from that morning and she was starting to realise that it wasn't too bad being out in the cool fresh air on a Saturday morning with James. He was being quite sweet to her as well, and she really was finding the whole situation . . . tolerable, but only as long as her fingers were toasty of course.

They'd arrived at the Quidditch pitch and James had tossed the brooms he was holding down on the grass. Lily stared at them with a mistrustful expression, fiddling with the tasselled end of her scarf.

"Right, you take that one," James said, pointing to the smaller, thinner one of the two, (Lily had hoped he wouldn't say that), "That's a Sparrow Sixteen, good for small, light people like you, and I know-" he said, holding up a gloved finger, "-That you have an extremely fast metabolism."

Lily tried to hide the beginning of a small, exhaled laugh but failed.

_Huzzah!_ James thought delightedly, _She_can_ laugh!_

"So, I'm sure you know this already, but the first thing you have to do is stand to the left of your broom and say 'Up!'" Lily sighed and complied.

"Up," she muttered moodily. The broom didn't move. James regarded her carefully.

"Come on, Lily, try again," he told her.

"Up," she said in a tone a little more forceful. The broom twitched. James sighed.

"Look, maybe Rita Skeeter is right," he said slowly.

"Ex_cuse_ me?" asked Lily, after blinking at him.

"I dunno, maybe you can't handle the pressure, I should have known you wouldn't measure up to me, maybe I should offer the position to Rita instead."

"**What!?**" demanded the Head Girl, her hand still suspended over the broom in shock.

"Wassamatter, Evans? Scared I'm telling the truth? Scared you'll never be as fantastic as me?" he asked mockingly.

"Shut **up!**" she shouted, frowning in anger, and a loud smack was heard through the pitch. It may be sensible to assume that Lily had hit James, because he really was asking for it and she was actually thinking of doing so, but before she could draw her hand back, something had slapped into her palm and her fingers had automatically closed around it.

She gaped at James for a second before looking down to discover the Sparrow Sixteen had leapt into her hand. Looking back at the Head Boy, she saw he was smiling craftily, with none of the formal malice in his hazel eyes and holding his hand over his own broom.

"And _that_ is the tone you need to use when getting your broom into your hand," he said cleverly, "Up!" he ordered in the same tone and the broom fell into his palm just like Lily's had. "Now I want you to mount it."

Lily obeyed without much thought, as she was still temporarily shell-shocked from what had just happened. Against her better judgement, she was feeling an odd kind of relief that James hadn't meant all those things he'd said. The reason she was so shocked was that he'd never said anything exceptionally nasty to her, nasty things he used to say to _other people_ on a regular basis, but in fact, it was a long time since he'd said anything nasty to anyone who didn't deserve it.

"Now, to get it to go up, you need to kick off from the ground and raise the handle slightly."

Lily obeyed, but not completely, because as soon as she jerked the handle upwards, her broom didn't rise, but tipped backwards, scaring her out of her wits. If it weren't for James's quick reflexes, she would have slipped off backwards, had he not grabbed the handle and pulled her back down.

"**Don't** lean back," he told her as she nodded fearfully, "Otherwise, if you're quick enough, you'll flip right over. Now, stay very still, while I show you."

The Head Girl sat stock still as James looked her in the eye for trust and gently pushed the handle up and down, up and down, up and down, until it looked as if Lily was sitting in a bobbing little row-boat on the Atlantic.

"Are you OK with that?" he asked finally, Lily nodded. "Now, to make it go, you lean forward just a bit and keep you handle steady. The faster you want to go the further forward you lean, makes sense?"

Lily nodded, she seemed to be doing a lot of that lately.

As for James, her lack of words was a little unnerving, this must have been the absolute longest he hadn't been shouted at. It was nice, if a bit strange.

Lily was starting to realise that James quite a good teacher. She had read books about flying, as she had thought it was an extremely complicated process involving unbalanced forces, various aspects of aerodynamics, and Newton's Second Law of Motion, and Lily had mused that it sounded about as difficult and dangerous as tightrope-walking, blindfolded on a piece of sewing thread above a pool full of poisonous sea-urchins.

But James made it so simple, he laid down the facts clearly and definitely, like, 'doing this makes it do this, but doing _this_ makes it chuck you off.' Soon Lily was able to grab a certain sense of the broom and its behavioural patterns, and correspondingly, James stopped giving instructions, and started giving tests.

Although she would rather curse herself to sprout boils, rather than admit it to James, Lily was having quite a bit of fun, and soon James had mounted his own broom and said, "Do you want to play _Follow the Leader_?"

"Do I want to play what, sorry?" asked Lily.

"_Follow the Leader_," James repeated. "It's a game we play sometime in practices, improves hand-eye-brain coordination."

"So, what? I have to go wherever you go?" asked Lily.

"Exactly, you up for it?" he asked, in voice that made it plain he wasn't going to go easy on her.

"Of course, Potter," she said, in voice that made it plain she was up for _anything_. "I've decided I rather like flying and I'm guessing I would like _playing_ even more."

**_Yes! She likes flying!_** James whooped inside, as a huge rush flew through his body.

"All righty then," he said, with a grin.

He drew his broom handle up and zoomed towards the sky, hearing Lily whizzing along behind him. Thinking fast, he sped up and Lily fell behind, she soon caught up though, just as James had started zigzagging between the goal posts. James tried everything he could think of, loops, barrel rolls, dives, but he couldn't seem to shake her off. Each stunt taught her something new about flying and made James more delighted than ever with his find for the team.

By now his speed was constantly extremely fast, as fast as the Snitch in fact, which was very, very good if she could keep this up. Nervously, he flattened himself completely against his broom, levelling his knees with the tail and his speed reached new heights, he was going to need it if he wanted to pull this off. When he'd tried this with the team, none of them had made it, so James sped towards the middle hoop without much hope.

Making sure he was exactly in line, he banished his fears, chucked a little prayer to whichever heavenly beings just happened to be watching, and closed his eyes. Soon, he felt the whoosh of the hoop around him and breathed as he felt it skim the top of his head. Rising up above it, he turned to see Lily flat against her broom, elbows in, scarf streaming out behind her, and held his breath as she flew through the hoop like a piece of red thread going through the eye of a very small needle. Panting, she came to his level and laughed at the look on his face.

"Was that _it_?" she asked teasingly.

"N-no," James said quickly, "Of course not." He dived again going with the most random path and spotted the lake. It glistened with an air of innocence and James zipped towards it, hearing Lily laughing behind him. Soon she stopped, it was clear he was going too near the water and he wasn't stopping. Lily let her competitive streak get the better of her and continued to follow him but the blue kept getting nearer and near, until James was almost splashing into the water.

Like a game of Chicken, James's toes skimmed the water, sending ripples gliding across the surface. Lily stopped beside him, staring at the water beneath her dark eyelashes and breathing hard. He cheeks were pink behind her freckles, wisps of hair had escaped from her plait and there was an exhilarated smile on her face. She looked at him with her eyes sparkling and James was sure that in that second, his brain must have evaporated inside his skull.

"Well done," he said at last, "You won."

* * *

That night, Lily was busy in the Heads' Dorms completing her Charms homework. Verity was sprawled across the purple sofa, her nose buried in a _Witch Weekly_. 

"Did you know," she asked Lily, her eyes still stuck to the article, "That taking a leisurely fly around your local Quidditch Pitch or Park is beneficial for the skin and prevents acne?"

"No I didn't, actually," smiled Lily, draping ivy round a shoebox that served as a fairy's den. She'd gotten the idea from the set of a play she'd once been to see: _A Midsummer Nights Dream_, but because her shoe box was so small, and her little fairy models half the size of her forefinger, she'd had to make her ivy smaller as well, so she hoped she'd get extra marks for that. "Maybe Potter should have given the Seeker's Position to Hortensia Midgeon instead."

"No, I don't think so," said Verity offhandedly, "I think it's been very beneficial for your face."

"What?" asked Lily, placing a tiny Titania on a swing of ivy hanging from the ceiling of the shoebox.

"Well, you haven't stopped smiling all day!" Verity said. "I'm starting to think you're bribing Madam Pomfrey for a secret stash of morphine."

"Verity, you know if I had any morphine, I'd share it with you," Lily grinned, slipping the lid onto her shoebox and writing her name and house on it.

"Duh," Verity agreed. "So what happened with your first flying lesson? Give me all the juicy details."

If there had been any juicy details, Lily wouldn't have been able to give them, because there was a knock at the double doors. Verity flipped her magazine shut and flipped herself onto her stomach so she had a view of the door.

Lily levered open the door curiously and said, "Oh! I was wondering when you'd come to see me!"

Amos Diggory swept past her, looking as tense as springs on a trampoline.

"Well, I'm off Lily," Verity said, taking a very clear hint as to where she wasn't wanted.

"Bye, Ver, see you at breakfast," said Lily, handing her friend her magazine and watching her slip out the door. No sooner had Verity arrived on the other side of the doors, than she had crouched down and glued her ear to the wood. Inside the Heads' Dorms, Amos was pacing, Lily watching him with a serene look on her face.

"So what happened?" he finally asked, standing still for the first time in thirty seconds. Lily wondered where her 'hello' kiss was. Oh no, things were bad.

"When, Amos?" she asked calmly, "Today, yesterday, this morning, the night of the Belgian Invasion of the 1242 Troll Tribe wars?"

"This morning," Amos said sharply, "In your flying lesson, with Potter." Lily sighed.

"You have no need to worry," she said, "It was early, it was freezing, and I learnt quite a bit."

"Did he try anything?" asked Amos, his voice getting angrier for some reason.

"No, you know if he had, he'd be in the hospital wing by now with his fingers in a pickling jug on his bedside table."

"Are you sure?" asked Amos furiously. Lily was confused, it was as if Amos was deliberately trying to find some sort of misdemeanour in James's behaviour. _But there had been nothing, _Lily thought suddenly, _nothing to hold against him_.

"Yes, I'm sure," she said, starting to get irritated, "James was a perfect gentleman."

"Oh? A perfect gentleman?" asked Amos, acting as if it was an interrogation. "Starting to think quite highly of that stupid arsehole now, are you?"

"What? Right this second? Well, compared to you, yes, I am!" Lily shouted. Then she gaped, she'd never shouted at Amos before. Usually, all her shouting was spent on James. "Amos," she said quickly, "What's the matter with you? Why are you acting like this?" She started to walk towards him, but he backed away with a repulsed look on his face. He didn't even answer her question.

"Lily, I hope you understand why I don't want to see you again," he said coldly.

On opposite sides of the same door, both at the same time, Lily and Verity gasped.

* * *

**a/n**

**#W.I.S.E –** not canon, don't worry, invented by me and stands for Wizard's International Space Exploration

Writers' desert has finally been scaled, or at least I hope so. I luff my reviewers so so so so much! You have no idea. Ok, let me try and explain to you how much you people cheer me up.

Today, I lost my phone, and I was in such a mess, you don't even understand. I was suffering hot flushes, _crying_ on the floor, _shaking_ with fear and anguish, wondering what in the name of all hell was I going to do without a phone this weekend. My phone is like my gateway to my friends (ie. My real family.) Anyway, then I phoned a lovely person called Emily on Jackie's phone, and she told me that I last had my phone in the language lab, and did she want me to go down and check if it was there?

The short and short of it was that she found it, and I was once again with phone and happiness. It was like being reunited with all my best friends at once, and the hugs from my friends in joy were a perk as well.

Anyway, the feeling I get when I read all the reviews, one by one, is like finding the contacts on my phone again, one by one, and when I log onto ff . net and see how many reviews you lovely people have left me, it feels like I found my phone again.

Wasn't that an inspirational story?

**FrighteninglyObsessed**: OMG, original is the best compliment that a Harry Potter fanfiction writer could even get. I think we should all join in with beating Rita over the head with an economy can of hairspray. What a stress reliever. I may just put that in the fic.

**walkingcensure**: Aw, thank you my luff. Your review was: heart-warming flattering very to the point

**babeephatangel**: Haha, thank you darling.

**siriusforeva**: Trust me, babe, me too.

**soccerchic1989**: Amos and James have a 'thing', don't they? Actually, it's more that Amos has a 'thing', and James just gets sprayed by it. And what is _with_ that boy Amos at the end, huh? What is that about? Tomorrow I'm going to see the Killers at Shepherds Bush Empire and I can act all haughty because half my year is going and they never would have caught onto the Killers if I hadn't bought the CD, and lent it to everyone to burn, but there you go. Urg, bug collections are nasty. Urg.

**urges**: Sirius is rather fabulous, isn't he? I may do some fan art if or when I get around to it. You have that pic in your notebook? That's so cute! Aw! I luff you!

**vickiicky**: Cool name.

**GSCer**: Well I hope not, coz I have a nasty habit of falling of my chair with laughter at flamers. Then I tell all my friends and they fall off their chairs with hilarity. It really is a fun time all round when someone flames me. Constructive crit, however, I take as seriously as a triple heart bypass, so feel free.

**Elspeth Renee**: Thanks honey, how doesn't like Quidditch?

**madame-knight**: Your name plays havoc with my imagination, luff. I think I may have to write a medieval fic now.

**shortywithbrains**: Remus IS cool. Go Remus!

**Tsusetsu**: You forgot how good I am? Not very, that's what you forgot. Grammar is for suckers. Where are you man?

**SnakeEyesHannah**: I love thanking reviewers! It makes me feel nice. I like talking to people, you know? . . . Aw, screw it, I'm just a chatterbox, so sue me.

**Tracey**: Aw, thank you, babe. What a nice review. I only seem to be clever in writing. Normally I'm as dumb as a parking meter, you know.

**Call-Sugarhigh-Police**: Thank you very much, savvy?

**ZumZumZoo**: Haha, I luff you coz u con critted me.

**iluvdraco4eva**: Yeah, you're right, nothing is more important than my characters and my reviewers. Especially those who give such nice reviews.

**kat-firefly**: Thank you, I like funny characters, they make me happy.

**Only Secret**: Entertaining, cheers muchly. People don't seem to like Rita, I think it's a general feeling.

**milky way bar**: It's because everyone's left over from the last fic I think. If this were my first fic, it would not have nearly as many notes, I think.

**mika-mitch**: Ah, the joy of randomage. It brings light into my life.

**LJstagflower4e**: Sadly, Lily wasn't there for the flipping out, but no matter, there shall be plenty of confrontation to come. Yay for drama.

**Anne-Janet**: Delighted? I'm glad I delight people. How lovely. Tea? :D

**Kyki Rivera**: It is really?

**Jade Sierra Snape**: Thanks for the note, I tried to hurry up, but it didn't really work. Oh well.

**megaroony**: Me either.

**Red-Emerald**: Oh, yes, I'm down with the vibes, I am. Indeed. I've always wanted to say something like that to an entire hall full of people, and Sirius is cool, so I thought it would be IC for him to do. I'm glad you thought there was emotion in my lines. It is a pretty immense thought, because if James hated Lily forever, would we even have a series of books? I think not. Oh there'll be lots more Rita. She's God awful, but sadly essential to the plot.

**charbar**: Cheering people up is a good thing for me to do, I feel. Little details rock, they're so funny. Thanks for the review!

**foxyie xox**: How is Rita gonna get at Lily? Oooooooh, you have no idea. Grins evilly

**Smay**: Will I make Lily and James end up together? Well, the answer to that is . . . I may . . . or I may not . . . I probably depends on my mood when I'm writing the end of this fic, you know. I could be nice, or I could be soul-shatteringly cruel right at the end when you thought everything was going to work out OK. So, the thing what you have to do is keep reviewing and cheering me up so I have good vibes to write the last chapter with. When I eventually get around to the last chapter, that is. Thanks for your note, honey.

**Padfoot1987**: I hate Rita, but then again, I love her. It's very odd. The readers however, seem to just outright detester her, but what are you gonna do?

**She Devil**: Joins in Lily's doing Quidditch!Lily's doing Quidditch!Lily's doing Quidditch!

**ebony-plays-the-viola**: Not only did you write me an essay, you wrote me two essays! Yay! I love in depth reviews like yours! Mwah Ok, let me do this systematically.

_i__ like how you potray dumbledore...almost synonomys (or however you spellit) to the way that JKR potrays himm...im very estatic about that subject because so many fanfiction storys potray him ghastly off character_

Urgg shudders I hate it when people do that. I used to do that, I mean write people desperately off character. I have a shameful history of Mary Sues as well. It's terrible to think I actually wrote things like that. Uuuurg.

_you__ really are starting this fic off with a bang..and it should continue smoothly from here_

Are you joking? Smoothly? Trust me, for hereon in, things are _anything_ but smooth. :D

_loved__ the use of savvy in the story_

OMG! The word 'savvy' deserves to be enshrined in gold and draped across Tower Bridge!

_rita__ skeeter...we all may hate her but i am glad that she inadvertedly got lily and james together (yes i know that hasnt happened yet...but i jsut have this hunch that they will)_

You have a hunch, eh? Well, go look at what I wrote to Smay. There's still time for it all to go horribly wrong, you know.

_descripton__ was fabulous and i think it would be futher enriched by throwin in some similes and metaphors_

Thank you, luff. Right, similes and metaphors, similes and metaphors . . .

_you__ are developing these characters wonderfully_

Why, thank you.

_i__ am hard pressed to find a story as good as this one...keep going on with this your doing great_

I luff you!

**Next chappy:**

Er . . . Hello? What is _with_ that guy Amos? I mean, who cursed _his broomstick?_ I'm sure I don't know. Boys are such a mystery.

How do you get your own back on someone who slates your sweetheart? Well, are you a Marauder or not?

Who's afraid of the Big Bad Rita? . . . Er, me, for one. Everyone else just seems to hate her.

_Lastly_, guess how many courseworks I have pending. Go on, guess. And If you feel like it, guess what subjects they are, (if any).


	4. Oozing Charm

**Four – Oozing Charm . . .**

"Wassamatter?" somebody asked from Verity's right. She hurriedly looked up to the head Boy, frowning curiously at her. Verity pushed out a noise of extreme irritation, as though she were dealing with a difficult child. Fine, it may be _just_ acceptable to ask why someone was squatting with their ear sewed to a door, but Verity was trying to hear what was being said in the other side of wood! Honestly, some people were just _sooo inconsiderate_!

"Shhhh!!" she ordered and the confused expression on James's face deepened. Tutting, Verity flapped her hand in a sign that said she wanted him to get down to her level. James crouched down as well and put his ear to the door, although he couldn't hear a thing and was starting to think that Verity was on the run from representatives from St Mungo's Mental Ward.

"Whatever you do, don't open this door!" hissed Verity.

"Why?" asked James curiously.

"Well, if you _must_ know," Verity continued, "Lily's in there with Amos."

"Oh," James said, wrinkling his nose in a revolted expression. He was just about to get up and ask what in the world Verity was doing _eavesdropping_ on such a situation, and had half a mind to 'accidentally' walk in and interrupt whatever was going on in there, when Verity hissed like a goose again.

"Not like _that_, you sicko! Diggory just stormed up here, wanting to know what you and Lily had been doing all morning, she said nothing had happened-"

"Which it didn't, in case you were wondering," James put in.

"I know you're a perfect gentleman, James, Lily said so herself, but she told Diggory to calm down and asked why he was acting like such a frigging prat, and just now he's told her he doesn't wanna see her anymore!" Verity completed.

By the end of her narration, James's mouth was slightly open.

"Bloody Hell," he muttered quietly, shifting his position, she he could get a better ear-press, "What a nasty bastard!"

"Oh, don't pretend you're not happy about this, James," Verity said dismissively. James grinned.

"It was worth a _try_." On the other side of the door, after a long silence, he picked out Lily saying, in a weak voice:

"I'm sorry?"

Amos blew out of his nostrils in annoyance.

"I _said_, I don't want to see you again," he repeated in a rock-hard tone.

"Why?" asked Lily, she wasn't upset, she was more . . . bewildered.

"It's a lot of things," Amos said shortly, apparently not bothering to elaborate on it, "I just can't see you anymore."

"Well, I don't know why you're bothering now," Lily said in an irritated tone, the anger was slowly settling in. "I think I would like you to _leave_, Amos."

"Thank you," he replied, as if she were doing him a favour.

Like startled pigeons, James and Verity jumped away from the door as if it had just been infested with flesh-eating bacteria. They darted a little way down the corridor and hid behind a suit of armour, watching as Diggory emerged from the Head's Dorms and disappeared down the hall in the opposite direction. Once his footsteps had stopped reaching their ears and James had stopped miming the action of throwing daggers at his back, he and Verity stepped out from behind their hiding place and James started jogging towards the double doors.

"Oi, what do you think you're doing?" demanded Verity, grabbing his sleeve and holding him back, James struggled for all he was worth but it was no go.

"I'm going in there!" he declared dangerously, "I have to . . . I need to . . ."

"You have to, you need to _what_, James?" asked Verity. "Listen, Lily's not in the best of moods right now and you, putting it extremely mildly, are not one of her favourite people, so if you want to be out of the Hospital Wing to see your first match, I'd recommend staying out here, while I pack her up and make sure she's up her staircase, and _then _I'll come down and let you know when the coast is Lilo-free, all right?"

"I suppose," James said, while he gave the password and allowed Verity to slip into his dorm.

Once the door had clicked shut, he sighed in a hopeless way. What Verity had said was completely true of course, he couldn't just march in there and try to comfort Lily, she hated him! He wasn't her friend, he had no social standing with her whatsoever that would keep her from either closing herself off or cursing him. Her love life had nothing to do with him except for the fact that the thing he wanted most was for it to revolve around him, and she wanted about as much to do with him as a professional Wizards' Gardener wanted to do with Gnomes.

There was _nothing_ he could do to make Lily feel better . . .

_Yes there was . . ._

* * *

At the click of the door, Lily spun round to face whoever had entered. She had been expecting James, and had been preparing to flee up her stairs, but she had probably never been more relieved to see Verity in her life.

"Hey Lils," whispered Verity.

"I don't have anything to say," said Lily sadly, "To him or to anyone." Now she had no one to be angry at, it seemed all her anger had left the room with Diggory. God, how she detested feeling miserable.

"Come on, let's get you into bed," Verity said.

Once Lily was down under her quilt with her hair snaking among the folds of her pillow, Verity sat at the foot of the bed and sighed.

"If it's any consolation, I always hated him," she remarked.

"Verity!" exclaimed Lily, "Shame on you! That's _not _making me feel any better."

"Sorry," apologised Verity, fiddling with the quilt.

"Actually, yes it is," grinned Lily, "Say it again, please." Verity sighed theatrically, as if the conversation were taking place fifteen seconds later.

"You know, I always hated him," she repeated, this time though, a smile on her face.

"You know?" Lily asked, closing her eyes and rolling onto her side, "Me too."

As Verity skipped down the stairs, she found herself not feeling at all sorry for Lily, well, maybe a _little_ sorry for all the time she'd wasted on that pillock, but otherwise, quite optimistic.

In her eyes, (as well as everyone else's probably) it was obvious James was completely smitten with Lily from absolutely _ages_ ago, and it was amazing what sort of good it had done him. He'd stopped cursing people in the hallways, for instance, when Lily had yelled at him to consider how _he_ would feel if he was cursed in the hallways for no apparent reason. He'd stopped acting like he owned the school, when Lily had shouted at him, saying if that was the case, she'd have attempted to plant a couple of bombs under it by now. He'd also stopped acting like he was higher than everyone else, because Lily had screamed at him that he wasn't more elevated or mightier than anyone else, he was in fact, lower for thinking so.

Verity remembered with a smile how Lily'd proved she was mightier than James any day, by flinging the mightiest Purple-Humpback curse that Hogwarts had seen in a good many years at him. Struggling to cover up her sniggers, Verity opened the double doors of the Heads' Dorm, seeking the object of her musings.

Where'd he go? She thought, puzzled. The corridor was as deserted as Professor Vector's Arithmancy Club on Friday evenings. Poor Vector, didn't realise most students actually had a life.

After whispering James's name for about thirty seconds, and expecting him to jump out from behind a suit of armour just to terrify her, Verity shrugged and closed the door with a faint click. She then went up Lily's stairs to root through her closet in search of the Head Girl's spare nightdress and prepared herself for a night on the downstairs sofa.

* * *

"Psst! Oi! Wake up!"

The Fat Lady jiggled awake in her portrait like a plate of raspberry-flavoured jelly in the midst of an earthquake.

"Vi, shove those golf-balls back in the teapot and fix your lipstick!" she shouted as she blinked bemusedly. James raised an eyebrow.

"Pardon me?" he asked. Dear Merlin, if he was ever painted as a portrait and hung up on a Hogwarts wall, he hoped he would never find out what that was all about.

"Oh, it's you, Potter," the Fat Lady said, "Don't you know it's incredibly rude and bad-mannered to wake someone when they're sleeping?"

"Well, in all honesty, Madam," grinned James, "I've not had any experience in waking anyone when they're unconscious or dead, would that be more courteous?"

"Oh you," scolded the Fat Lady good-naturedly, "Anyway, what have come down here for? In case you haven't noticed, or maybe you're drunk, you don't live here anymore."

"Aha, but my best friends do!" James said in a crafty voice, "Would you mind awfully, keeping a secret for us?"

"My dear Head Boy," the Fat Lady said with her hand to her bosom, "The entire reason I'm _here_ is because I can keep secrets! You don't see me blurting the password to everyone I meet, do you? Now spill the gossip!"

"Well, you know Lily Evans, the new Head Girl . . ." started James, before he was interrupted.

"Do I indeed?" laughed the Fat Lady, lapping up the gossip like a kitten laps milk. "Such a dear, always so polite, never went around _waking people_ who were happily asleep . . ."

"Yeah, all right," said James, giving his glasses a gentle shove further up his nose, "Anyway, that dickhead Amos Diggory just broke up with her, her best friend told me . . ."

"Oh good!" exclaimed the Fat Lady, "Never liked him, awfully rude. Got quite shirty with me one time when I wouldn't let him in. He said he wanted to see Lily, but I was having none of it . . ."

"You're an inspiration to us all," James said monotonously, "Moving _on_, he was a wanker to her just now, and Mr Black, Mr Lupin, Mr Pettigrew and I want to show our _appreciation_ that he decided to leave her alone at last."

"You especially, no doubt," the Fat Lady said in an amused, calculating look, "I can see it all over your face."

"Leave it out," James said pointedly.

"There's no need to say the password in that voice, Potter," The Fat Lady said, "Go on, get in, get out, and don't come back until Diggory's drowning in his own humiliation."

Ten minutes later, all four Marauders were slipping out of the portrait hole, with the Map in front of their noses.

"I've always liked giving thank you presents," mused Sirius with a smile as they strolled through the castle.

"Is Lily all right?" Remus asked, "Did you see her?"

"No," James said, suddenly miserable, "Verity barred me from the dorm until she'd bundled Lilliputian up her stairs. She must be quite upset then," he added after a sad pause.

"Ah well," Sirius said, "We'll just have to make sure that whatever we do to Diggory tonight is funny enough to cheer her up, eh?"

"Yeah," James said glumly.

"Or at least funny enough to cheer _him_ up," Remus whispered to Sirius and Peter.

* * *

Sunday was usually a half-day at Hogwarts. Most students didn't get up till just before lunch time, so the house elves had taken to serving breakfast four hours later than they would have on any other day. The rest of the day was usually taken up with homework, or ignoring it, as the recipient may choose.

So, just after one o'clock that Sunday, the population of Hogwarts was making sleepy conversation at the late breakfast table.

"I cannot believe you slept on the sofa last night," Lily sighed to Verity. The girls were sitting with the Marauders, because Lily didn't have the heart to argue with anyone today, least of all Verity, who had been as sweet as syrup to her last night.

"How can you not believe it?" asked Verity, in the middle of devouring a plate of scones topped with strawberry jam. "You were the one who woke me up by chucking a load of icy water on my head!"

"I'm really sorry about that," Lily said, "You wouldn't wake up! Why was that, d'you think?"

"I honestly have no clue," Verity said, hoping she wasn't letting on that when the Marauders had crashed into the Heads' Dorm late last night, she had weaselled their plan out of them, (well, mostly Remus). Then, after James had gone up to bed and Sirius, Peter and Remus had left for the Gryffindor Tower, there had been a knock at the door and when she had tossed the covers off her and opened it, the latter had been standing there with an incredibly embarrassed, painfully shy expression on his face.

"Remus is dead tired too," Peter said, turning the attention to the boy opposite him, who was rocking back and forth, alternately staring at Verity and nodding forward in exhaustion. When he heard his name, his head snapped up and he started looking for the coffee mug.

"Bloody hell," James said smiling, "You're right, he's completely conked out!"

"I have no comment for any of you," the poor boy muttered, sloshing black coffee straight down his throat, much to the disgust of most of his company. Lily smiled however, when she saw Verity was not even the slightest bit appalled, and was secretly gazing at Remus with what may be termed as more tenderness than the meat of a free range chicken. It made her a bit sick actually, after the whole fiasco with Amos.

With considerable more caffeine in his bloodstream, Remus seemed to be doing all right for the rest of breakfast and he even started laughing when something entered the Great Hall that did _not_ look human.

It looked like Amos Diggory, fair enough, but he seemed to be covered in some sort of thick, green, translucent gloop that left a thin trail of sticky mess wherever he went. He didn't notice when various eating implements went clattering onto plates as people dropped them in shock, because a first year Gryffindor had just run into the Hall, slipped on the gloop trail on the floor and went crashing into him.

Diggory spun round, flinging large splats of see-through gunge onto the Ravenclaw table, (whose occupants pulled faces in revulsion), and glared at the first year, who squealed and jumped backwards, staring at his green, slimy hands.

"What the sod's the matter with you?" Diggory demanded angrily, "Look where you're going and go take a shower!" He held up his arms, inspecting himself all over. "Good thing you didn't get any on me, you little twat."

"Mr Diggory!" exclaimed Professor Sprout, standing up from the high table in anger, "Such language will not be tolerated! Apologise to Mr Court immediately!"

Diggory frowned and looked up form the horror-struck first year to find the whole Hall staring at him. His Head of House's orders were drowned out by his indignation. These people were looking at him as if he had been cursed or something!

"_What_ are you all looking at?" he demanded of the Hall. Out of the corner of her eye, Lily just caught James nip out his wand and mutter,

"Finne Persona Sola Transparencia."

Diggory was patting his face in worry he had something stuck to it, but on his third pat, his hand went 'splat'. Yelling in wordless terror, he looked down and spun round a few times, trying to see where it all was, where it was all _coming from_. The laughter in the hall was as loud as the crowd at small, Saturday morning Quidditch matches, even the mucky first year was laughing. As Diggory ran out of the Hall, James stood up and started clapping, shouting,

"A round of applause, ladies and gentlemen, please! That was Amos Diggory, now officially the biggest slime-ball on the planet!" A huge ovation was added to the laughter in the hall, as the Ravenclaws smiled and performed cleaning charms on their crockery. James sat down and glanced at Lily. He found her staring at him, her expression unreadable, then she frowned slightly and turned back to her plate, picking up an apple from the fruit bowl and leaving the Hall.

Verity stared at the Marauders, who were watching her go, she bit her lip when they turned back to her.

"I think that was pushing it," she said worriedly.

Lily gathered her robes around her shins as she gingerly stepped over the gunge left by her former boyfriend. Urgh, sometimes James was just ghastly and irritating at the same time. What _had_ he been thinking? Now everyone would figure out that Amos had broken up with her, and all hell would break loose, probably.

She glared at a patch of slime that hung, dripping off the banister of a staircase, then she got back to finding her way to the Heads' Dorms and took stock of her surroundings. _Bugger!_

The problem with living in a place that had moving staircases, (apart from the fact that it gave you quite a shock the first time stone moved from under your feet), was that it was like being a foreigner suddenly being plonked in the middle of the London Underground. Certain staircases went to certain floors and you could only get to a certain platform using certain staircases that could be found coming from certain corridors and **then** you had to know_ when_ they did this and this could be certain times of the day, certain weeks in a month, or even certain years in a century.

Lily sighed as she sat herself down on a step, propped her chin up with her hand, elbow on her knee, and waited for the staircase to move to the corridor she wanted, all the while staring at the green gunge that oozed to the carpet in a thin, icky thread. Filch was definitely going to kill James for this. _Serves the git right_, thought Lily bitterly.

The stairs started moving with a jerk and Lily's hand flew out from under her chin to steady herself – right into a puddle of gloop. _Eeewww_, she thought, getting even more irritated. _What an idiot!_ _He shouldn't have pulled such a completely thoughtless joke!_

The staircase came to a halt and Lily got up, wanting to get to a basin as fast as she could and wash her hand. _Stupid, immature, childish, tactless joke!_ she fumed, until all her steam had been blown off and she had arrived at the Heads' Dorms. Reaching for the door knob with her clean hand, she stopped and held up her left, rubbing the jelly-like gloop gently between her finger, and smiled slightly, remembering the look on Amos's face when he caught sight of himself.

_Bloody funny though_, she thought, and entered her room to find some tissues.

* * *

That night, James knocked on the door of Lily's staircase and chewed his lip nervously. The door opened and he was met with the expressionless face of Lily. The look on her face went from neutral to hostile faster than a goose's when some innocent toddler wonders over to Regent's Park duck pond with a fist full of bread.

"What do you want?" she asked resignedly, as if the sight of him had just ruined her day. James was determined to un-ruin it though, so he presented her with a bit of paper.

"McGonagall came to find me today, she says we have the first rounds tonight before we can deal them out to the prefects tomorrow," he said, not mentioning he had actually _asked_ for that night's slot so he could have a chance to talk to Lily without a door in her hands that she could slam in his face. Her wondrous green eyes scanned the Deputy Headmistress's handwriting, after which she shoved it back against James's chest and turned around, tutting.

"I'm going to get my cloak," she called irritably. James took a deep breath, and wished himself luck.

* * *

He thought he should give her a little time to calm down and get all the thoughts of taking her wand to him out of her head before he said anything at all, but he was finding it quite hard to walk alongside Lily when she was angry at him, and he could actually do something to fix it.

"Look, Lilo, about this morning, I didn't _really _overdo it, did I?"

"I think you did, Potter," Lily said coldly, "The fact that you would _think_ about doing something like that is overdoing it, did you think I needed cheering up or something? That I would be sad because some prick decided he wanted to stomp all over my heart? That I'd be heartbroken because someone thought he'd destroy two years of my unquestioned attention at the drop of a hat? That I'd be upset because I feel I've wasted the last two years with someone who wasn't even worth a second look?" James didn't want lie to her, so he didn't.

"Well . . . to be honest Lilo, you _do_ sound quite sad, heartbroken and upset," James said in quite earnest.

"Well, I'm not!" shouted Lily, not caring that she might wake up a few people. James may have promised himself never to lie to Lily, but she was lying to him now, he could see it written all over her face.

"OK, Lilo, whatever you say," James said soothingly, "I'm sorry about today, I was only trying to get my own back and cheer you up a bit but it looks like you didn't need cheering up. Apparently you're fine."

"Are you saying I'm not?" demanded Lily. _No, you're _telling_ me you're not, _thought James,_ I can read your feelings all over your face_.

"Not if you say you're not," he said. Wow, he could become Minister of Magic with all this diplomatic talking he was doing.

"And what the frig do you mean, 'get my own back?'" she asked again in the same tone. James thwacked himself mentally with a sledgehammer, he hadn't realised _that_ had slipped out.

"I wanted to . . . pay him back for the way he treated you, like you said, he threw two years of your hard work in the bin."

"I don't even know how you _found out_ about all this!" Lily accused him, "And you know what? I don't even _want _to know, I know you have that cloak and the map, you were probably in the room!"

"I wouldn't do that," James said calmly. _Maybe two years ago I would have, but not now_.

"Of course not," Lily said sarcastically.

"No, seriously, Verity told me last night when I came back," James explained, tactfully leaving out the bit where he and Verity were eavesdropping.

"She told you?" Lily asked, James nodded. "Oh."

They had neared the end of their rounds, as they had arrived at the Entrance Hall and from there it was up to the Heads' Dorms again.

"I'm really sorry," James said again, _about everything_, "You know that don't you?" Lily looked at him for a moment, and James was pretty sure that he was displaying all his thoughts on his face for her to read.

"I know."

"Will you forgive me one day?" She looked away.

"Maybe."

"Hey look!" James said as they passed the notice board. "Hogsmeade next weekend! Will you come with me?" he said out of habit, half hopeful as usual.

Lily looked at the notice and her eyes widened. It was a shock, but for a moment there, she had seriously considered saying yes. Maybe it was because during her first day in two years without a boyfriend, she missed having one to the extent that _anyone _would do. Maybe it was because, after such a long time with the same person, she wanted something short and meaningless, which James would undoubtedly give her, his other girlfriends hadn't lasted long.

Frowning, Lily slapped herself inside. She _had _just come out of something really big and this was a perfect excuse to refuse!

"No!" she said, with half-hearted indignation, "What is _wrong_ with you?"

"Sorry," James said quietly, ashamedly, as Lily raised her hand wearily, to rub her eyes. That really _had_ been the wrong thing to say, as it always was. Merlin, she looked _really_ tired. Wondering if he would get away with it, he carefully put his arm round her shoulders and steered her along the notice board. Lily leaned against his shoulder, too tired to Chinese burn the offending arm or curse it off. It had been an awful day, and oddly, some of the awfulness seemed to evaporate in such close proximity to James. Maybe it was the reassurance that no matter what happened, some people, and their feelings towards you, always stayed the same.

Lily was about ready drop off there on the Head Boy's shoulder, but as she blinked in exhaustion, her eyes caught on her name somewhere in the passing notice board. If she were rushing past it, she may have thought it was a list of prefects or something, but it wasn't, it was a copy of _Hogwarts Hearsay._

Like a shot, she jumped off James's shoulder and grabbed the piece of parchment tacked to the cork panel. A new one appeared in it's place as Lily scanned the contents, gasped in horror and took off towards the Heads' Dorm, shooting James a hateful look as she ran.

"Lily!" James shouted, "Lily!" and ran after her when she didn't turn round. He caught her just as she was opening the door to her staircase, the notice crumpled in her hand and anger blotching her face. "Lily, what's wrong? What's the mat-?" he started but stopped when she pulled out her wand. He'd had enough bad experiences with that swishy, ten and a quarter inch willow to last him his lifetime, and wasn't about to start on his afterlife.

"**_This_** is what happens when you do unthinking, brainless stunts like you did this morning!" she hissed, slapping the notice on the front of her door and stabbing the top with her wand, leaving a shiny, golden tack there. Then she slammed the door and left James staring at the notice and it's contents.

_Lily Evans and Amos Diggory, Hogwarts' most famous couple have split, as reporter for _Hogwarts Hearsay_ Rita Skeeter has discovered! On the Saturday night, Diggory visited the Heads' Dorms intending to visit his girlfriend, only to find her in a passionate snog with the Head Boy, James Potter . . ._

James didn't need to read any more to know that he was in the deepest shite he'd ever been in with Lily before. Swearing colourfully under his breath, he slammed his forearms against the wood of her door and banged his head against it, swearing louder when he pulled his head back, baring the imprint of a tack on his forehead.

**a/n: **It is so weird to be in on a Saturday night. I haven't been in a Saturday night for five weeks. Five weeks ago, I was at Jackie's party, then I went to Barcelona, then I went to Katie's, then I went to Holly, Esther and Liberty's party, and THEN I went to see the Killers. I'm beginning to forget what my parents look like. Oh well.

The answer to my petite guessing game was that I have **5** courseworks. **Five! **That's F-I-V-E, five, cinque, cinco, pente . . . More specifically, history, religion, physics, art and English.

_Fabulous_.

**Call-Sugarhigh-Police**: Join me in my bid to get savvy enshrined! Someone should start an email petition.

**Sabine Strohem-Moss**: Yes, years from now, old ladies will be huddled around their tea muttering in a smug tone the exact words you used 'I never did like him anyway'. :D

**The ORIGINAL Meathead**: Right, let's go through this methodically.

_will the flying lessons help her to understand how much James likes quidditch?_

I think that they'll definitely help.

_and will it help her realise how good at quidditch james really is and that he actually has a reason to be arrogant about his quidditch skills?_

Ditto.

_and how will the other team members react when they see how much of a natural lily is?_

I dunno, they'll probably assume James worked his arse off to teach her, (because of course he Luuuurves her) and so it should really shock them all that much :D

_oh and i really loved the part on the train to Hogwarts with sirius thowing the sweets at her and her catching them and then james realising and then when he kissed her hand_

Cheers muchly for the review!

**Smay**: I reckon he'll have a few more parts yet (see above).

**LJstagflower4e**: Ya, I mean like, they totally weren't right for each other, and like, have did you SEE the state of him in this chapter? I don't THINK so. :D

**AngelinaWeasley1**: Thanks so much for you review. Lily's never been depicted like this? I'm sure she has . . . somewhere.

**Anne-Janet**: Thanks love, yeah hang your coat up behind the door. Milk? Sugar?

**shortywithbrains**: I LUFF all my reviewers. I luff them because they cheer me up whenever I'm having a bad day. Let me let you in on a little secret. On my stats page, I check the number of fabulous people that have me on their favs list and I write down the number on the back of my hand, and I look at it to cheer me up. I know that's really sad, but I can't help it. You do all the bashing you want honey, but leave enough for me to have a go.

**Tsusetsu**: Am I now? Cheers, luff. Hell sucks. Remember to move here.

**babeephatangel**: Indeed he is. I wish I didn't have to write people like him.

**Taika**: Thank you for all your notes, your smiles lit up my day. Yes, James is so whipped, it's almost pathetic, isn't it?

**soccerchic1989**: I was wondering who would pick up the sexual connotations on that :D. The Killers were **amazing!!** I'm totally serious, go and buy their album. They have a kind of indie rock thing going on and I luff them almosy as much as the Libertines, which is really saying something since I would gladly through myself off a bridge if the Libertines would make another album and Pete and Carl would get back together . . . sigh Anyway, listen to the Killers because they are great. So great, in fact, that I bought a T shirt, even at the extortionate price of £18.

**Flame Of Desire**: Thanks, dude, I'll update asap.

**vickiicky**: I'm sure your fics aren't crap, and I would check them out if I had any bloody free time. I don't know about deleting fics, I used to want to delete my uber-crap first fic, but then I discovered looking back on it was kinda fun. Like I think 'At least I don't write like THAT any more.' So just keep going, if you enjoy it. Hm . . . I don't think you'd quite fit into the scheme of things but maybe I'll write you a little paragraph here to make up for it.

_Victoria Pomeroy, who was blonde, blue eyed and (according to her) a total weirdo had just flown from the library where she had just heard a whispered conversation between some fourth year and that guy in her house who always put sugar in his pumpkin juice at breakfast. What this conversation comprised of was essentially that Amos Diggory had dumped Lily Evans without any valid reason and was now the victim of a Marauders' joke for all his efforts. Driven by an overly-developed sense of justice, or maybe just a plain hero complex, __Victoria__ hurried through the corridors, trying to find someone she knew so that she could talk to someone about this groundbreaking school scandal. _

_Turning a corner near the Hufflepuff Common Roon, she came across an odd vision. There was the object of the gossip himself, _dripping_ in some manner of green gunge and trying in vain to rid himself of the filthy substance. Victoria ambled over, trying not to laugh. At her approach he looked up with a thunderous glare. _

_'What are you looking at?' he demanded. __Victoria__ smirked, as if the answer wasn't obvious. Then she decided to drop her school bag on the carpet beside her, pull back her fist and knock that sulky glower straight off his face. There was a nice, echoing 'smack' sound as her knuckles connected with his cheekbone and when Diggory was suitably sprawled on the floor, Victoria leaned ominously over him and delivered the following speech:_

_'I'd better watch it, if I were you, mate. In case you didn't know, Lily Evans has friends, and now she has considerably more than you.' _

_Picking up her school bag, the blonde hopped over the floored boy and continued on her way. Some way down the corridor, she looked at her victorious hand, which was rather unattractively covered in slime. _

_'Ew.' _

Have fun.

**She Devil**: Don't we all, honey?

**foxyie xox**: Do you? Thank you very much. I think James is going to have redeem himself pretty quickly. I'm sure they'll be more slip ups to come.

**FrighteninglyObsessed**: It's not getting worse? Weh-hey!

**Only Secret**: Don't we all? There's a queue here, you know. :D

**Tracey**: Hehe, thanks, don't wear yourself out with all the jumping. Actually, I don't update all that often, do I? Nevermind. That's so totally true. Girls are a mystery too. That's probably why they don't understand us, because even we don't understand ourselves, and why we don't understand them, because we hardly understand ourselves. It's a wonder anyone gets born around here, that's what I say.

Coursework is the work of the antichrist. How it works is: I have exams . . . lots and lots and lots of panic-inducing, nightmare-giving, piss-yourself-with-fear exams. And coursework is work the exams board give you to do during the year so that if you don't get a good mark on your exams, it proves you at least know the material enough to write it down out of the timed conditions. Or it proves that you can go onto those websites that sell pre-written coursework illegally, but why quibble?

**Camillekiss**: OMG, don't die! For the _love of fluff_, why are reviewers _always_ threatening to _kill themselves_?

**siriusforeva**: Indeed it is. Rejoice, good people of fandom. waves banner

**iluvdraco4eva**: You flatter me too much. blushes

**kiwislushie**: Thanks for your comments on James. I like lovable!James, he's funnier than arsehole!James. snuggles lovable!James

**milky way bar**: Oh yes, it really does. People pay attention when you write an 81 chaptered fic, believe me, honey. :D

**Cat**: Indeed, good riddance! Thanks for the note!

**Next chappy:**

The atrocious article aftermath. Whose fault is it anyway?

Just what is going between Remus and Verity? Obviously, it has nothing to do with pyjamas. cough cough

And Snape enters . . . _fire in the hole!_ 'Nuff said.

Love from your thoughtful and considerate author.


	5. Great Balls of Fire

**Five – Great Balls of Fire . . .**

_Bang!_

"Oh bollocks!"

The afore mentioned phrase was the very first expletive that emerged from the mouth of Sirius Black when he laid eyes on the first issue of _Hogwarts Hearsay_.

_Bang!_

"I know," agreed James, sitting on Sirius's bed with his back against the wall. Remus looked up at him sympathetically.

_Bang!_

"You know Prongs, it's not _that_ bad. Nobody's going to believe Diggory walked in on you and Lily snogging. Firstly, how would he have gotten the password to the Heads' Dorms? And secondly, it's as common knowledge that Lily detests you as it is common knowledge that Cornelius Fudge is going to cause the downfall of Wizarding democracy as we know it."

_Bang!_

"Moony," Sirius said, "If you're trying to make the poor boy feel better, then maybe you should just shut your gob?"

_Bang!_

"Nah, he's right, Padfoot," James said miserably, "Lily _does_ hate me, and she wasn't too thrilled with that Skeeter Cow's reporting either. Did I tell you that she had just acknowledged that I was sorry for all the crap I'd done before she saw that bloody notice and everything went down the drain?"

"Ouch," muttered Peter.

_Ba-_

The boys looked up from the notice when the door to their dormitory clicked open and Verity appeared in the doorway, holding her wand alight and wearing nothing but an old oversized Wimbourne Wasps T shirt. Sirius rolled his eyes as he watched Remus's eyes widen and his face go decidedly red, even in the fading light. Obviously, the black and yellow stripes set off Verity's dirty blonde spikes and hawk-like eyes quite nicely.

"What the frig is going _on_ in here?" Verity demanded in a sleepy voice, "What are you lot doing making that great banging? Some of us girls are trying to get some sodding _sleep!_"

James stopped banging the back of his head against the wall and smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry," he muttered, "I was trying to top myself by way of killing brain cells." Verity sighed and raised her hand to rub her eyes, making the hem of her shirt float a little higher up her legs. Remus looked as though he would have liked to dive under the covers of his bed and hibernate for the next three years.

"What did you do to Lily now?" she asked in a strained voice. Wordlessly, James handed over the notice. Verity scanned the article and sighed again.

"If only Skeeter played Quidditch for Ravenclaw," she said wistfully, "Then I could nick Sirius's club, give her a good smack round the head and make it look like an accident."

"You and me both," Sirius agreed, poking his tongue out of his mouth and miming rotating his Beaters' club like her was aiming for a baseball.

"Well, I'd better go see her," Verity said, "before she does something she'll regret tomorrow morning, like putting Bubotuber pus on your toothbrush or something. I'm taking that map thingy," she said, walking to one of the desks and rifling around in one of the drawers, "Pray I don't get caught, will ya?"

As she bumped her hip against the drawer, shutting it again, Remus had opened his trunk and grabbed something from it. He blocked her path to the door and held out a pair of his pyjama bottoms to her as she narrowed one of her eyes at him in a questioning look.

"Put them on," he said, voice quite, face scarlet, while Verity looked at him as if he were telling her to go shave her head. "Go on, I don't want you catching cold, and if you get caught by Filch . . ." he trailed off, pushing the blue checked cotton towards her. A small snort came from the corner.

"Remus I'm _not_ gonna get caught, and it's eighteen degrees outside," Verity argued, while inside, she was really going _awwwww_

"_Please_ . . ." Remus said quieter still, "Just put them on . . . for me? _Please_?" Verity stared at him for a minute, then she tutted, shoved her wand and map into his arms so he had to take a step back to stop himself over balancing, and snatched the bottoms from his hand.

Remus smiled in relief as she bent down and hopped about for a minute, grabbing his arm to steady herself as she tugged the material over her legs. Then she straightened up, snatched her wand and the map back and surveyed Remus and James with a deeply pitying look.

"You boys," she sighed, "You're barking mad, the lot of you."

Once she had disappeared out the door, rounds of hilarious laughter erupted from James, Sirius and Peter as Remus gapingly stared after the Chaser.

"What didja think of _that_, Moony?" asked Peter, grinning.

"I think she deserved a Werewolf's sign of approval, don't you?" asked James, sniggering. Remus turned and threw himself onto his bed, burying his head under the pillow so his friends could barely pick out a muffled, "Sod off!"

"Aaaaawwwwoooooo!" howled Sirius, launching the Marauders into a fresh wave of laughter.

* * *

"Lily, I think you're angry at the wrong person here," Verity said calmly, as Lily stomped around the hallway of the Heads' Dorms, distracting herself by wading through James's stuff to find her own. She paid as much attention to her friend's words as she would have paid attention to Petunia during one of her century-long phone conversations.

"What is _wrong_ with that boy?" she only asked in an incredibly irritated tone, "Do I have to _curse_ him into clearing his crap up?"

"No, I think you should forgive the boy for what he did this morning, because he couldn't have know that Skeeter the human wireless station was going to spread nasty rumours about you."

Lily stopped stomping and stared at Verity, not really seeing her, but remembering that moment with James in the Entrance Hall, when all her worries had floated away in his embrace (well, half-embrace), and she had genuinely pondered whether or not to go to Hogsmeade with him next weekend.

Maybe she should forgive him, after all, he hadn't done anything wrong that she hadn't forgiven already, that notice wasn't his fault. It wouldn't change the fact that she had the same attitude towards him as one male tiger had toward another tiger that was trying to steal its territory, but Verity was right, Rita was the one who should need a bullet-proof riot shield, not James.

"Cheer up," Verity said, knowing that Lily knew she was right, "We've got Charms tomorrow morning, and Professor Flitwick will love your little Last-Autumn Night's Vision, or whatever it's called."

"Midsummer Night's Dream," Lily said distractedly, looking around at the mess, "I think he'll like it too. Now if only I could _bloody well find it!_"

* * *

If you were chosen as Head Girl, this position was given to you on a number of judgements. Number One: you were hard-working, number two: you were trustworthy, number three: you were capable and number four: you were punctual.

On that Monday morning, Lily embodied all of the above traits, except for the last . . . meaning she had overslept. So, this was the reason she was bobbing up and down outside the bathroom, banging on the door with her fist every so often.

How was it that she had gotten stuck _sharing a bathroom with Potter_? This was punishment for something she must have done in another life, like executing her sister as Queen Elizabeth I or something. Actually, reflecting on this, executing her sister didn't seem like such a bad prospect . . .

She banged on the door again. What on earth was he _doing _in there, charming each individual _strand_ of hair to stand on end?

She was just about the slap the door again, when it opened before her palm could make contact, and instead it smacked onto the very wet chest of one Head Boy.

James paid no attention to the smarting, he only grabbed the hand and held it there, he was **not** letting her get away without getting her to forgive him first.

"Lily! I was hoping to catch you! Listen, I am incredibly sorry about yesterday! _Please_ don't hate me, I had no idea it was going to go that far, or that anyone would write nasty things about you, and I will do _anything_ to make it up to you, _anything_ . . . Lily? . . . Lilo? . . . Are you there? What's wrong?"

She seemed to have been rendered temporarily speechless, James tightened his hold on her fingers. He was going to make her say something, if he had to stand here dripping all day. She only gaped at him like a trout on sedatives.

Lily was _not _on sedatives, but she was very shocked. Not shocked that James would come out of a bathroom with only a towel round his waist. That was just something he'd do, (naïve fool), but instead, she was shocked at her own feelings.

He was pressing her fingers to his chest to stop her running away, but the way her breathing quickened, it seemed like she'd just run a mile. She could feel the dull pulse of his heart behind his ribs, pushing blood around his body and felt what must have been all her own blood rush to her cheeks.

This was **very** dangerous.

"W-What are you talking about?" she stammered hurriedly, trying to speak at normal speed while tugging at her hand. "Nothing's wrong, I forgive you."

"Really?" asked James, stunned. He loosened his squeeze on her hand and it slipped from his skin. He felt a little sorry about that.

"Yeah, really, it's fine," Lily said, wiping her hand on her folded towel. "Now I have to . . . um . . . you know . . . take a shower –ah!"

In her haste to get into the room, she'd forgotten that the floor was sunken a bit to stop water from the shower leaking out. Before she went flying, James had grabbed her by the torso and arm and steadied her.

"Are you sure you're all right, Lilo? I mean, first you forgive me, no questions asked, and then you nearly fall over."

"I'm fine . . . really . . . fine . . . perfectly," Lily stuttered, and without further ado, she darted into the bathroom and shut the door, locking it and leaning against it for a moment. After a second, she released the breath she'd been holding and waited until her mind cleared the staggering immobility it had frozen into.

Then she rushed over to the basin and started splashing cold water onto her face, chucking her former feelings into a box, latching it shut and burying _very_ deep into the soil of her mind.

Fifteen minutes later, she was ready for breakfast. Slinging her bag onto her shoulder and picking her Charms project up off the coffee table, she left for the Great Hall.

As soon as she entered, whispers broke out all over the house tables. Lily spotted copies of _Hogwarts Hearsay_ dotted around the Hall, and tried her best to ignore all the attention.

"Wanna see my sculpture?" asked Verity as she sat down next to Lily and picked the scones out of the basket that looked the most burnt.

"Yeah, go on then," Lily said, carefully avoiding the sight of the Gryffindor seventh year boys.

Verity bent down and hauled something heavy onto the table. Lily frowned.

"Is that the bust of Catherine the Constipated from the eighth floor?"

"Shh!" Verity hissed, "Yes it is, but don't worry, I asked Flitwick if I could borrow it."

"Really?"

"Well, no, but would you look at the masterful crown of ivy round her head?"

"I think you did a wonderful job, dear," Catherine said, "And I'd feel beautiful if I didn't feel so ill."

"How can you feel constipated?" asked Lily curiously, "You don't have a stomach."

"I'm as confused as you, dear."

"Come on, we'd better go," Verity said, shrinking her creation and placing it in her bag.

* * *

Lining up outside the Charms classroom, James felt quite good.

"Lily forgave me!" he cried joyfully to the rest of the Marauders.

"Have you still got all your teeth?" asked Peter.

"Everything still the right colour?" asked Remus.

"How many limbs did you lose?" demanded Sirius.

"I'm fine," James said, " This is, in fact, what she said, and she forgave me!"

"She's cursed him," Remus whispered, "And made him go completely crackers."

"As far as _I'm_ concerned, you've all been crackers for as long as I remember."

James spun round to be faced with the great big nose of Serverus Snape, official grease-ball of Hogwarts, and all-around evil git.

"No, you are _not_ concerned, Snivellus," James said coldly, "Besides, you have the same memory span as a goldfish, you wouldn't really remember much."

"Don't get hostile with me, Potter," Snape smiled craftily, "Because I can easily get you, Black and the Big, Bad Wolf thrown out of here faster than you can draw you your wand." James's eyes narrowed.

"Wanna bet?" he asked dangerously, hand straying to his pocket. Snape's eyes widened and he abruptly turned round to stalk off, but found his path blocked by Lily and Verity, who had just arrived to wait for the Professor.

"Well, hello there, Snivellus," Verity greeted him sweetly, "Still aiding the muggle world in its time of oil crisis, I see," she said, eyeing Snape's hair in a rather disgusted way.

"Oh, it's the mudblood," sniffed Snape. Lily had just opened her mouth to retort when she found Snape's shiny face being dragged away from her. James had, indeed, gotten his wand out and picked Snape up with it . . . by the hair.

With his wand invisibly tugging at Snape's lank strands, James turned him round to face him and held his arm up so Snape had to stand on tiptoes to stop his hair being ripped out by the roots.

"Say that to her again so I can force that disgusting mouth of yours open and rip your filthy tongue out," he hissed perilously. Panicked, Snape grabbed around inside his robes for his own wand, an action that only Lily noticed.

"Potter, stop!" she cried, rushing forward with her shoe box in her hands. But it was too late, Snape had pulled out his wand, aimed madly and shouted,

"Ignitio!"

Fortunately, the tennis ball sized flames missed James and shot towards the stone wall, where it rebounded and flew straight back into the corridor.

"Lily!" shouted James, dropping Snape onto the floor and rushing forward. He swept his arm around her waist and pulled her back so that when the fireball reached them, it hit not Lily's head, as it would have, but the carefully crafted shoebox in her hands.

She let out a faint yell, dropping the box and leaning into the Head Boy with her arms curled into her chest. There, she watched her project turn blacker and blacker, being consumed in flames and curling into ashes.

She breathed hard from shock in James's arms. _All her hard work . . . ruined . . ._

All she wanted to do was curl up into the Head Boy's chest and have a little sniffle, but next second James had gripped his wand, let go of Lily's shoulders and cried "Mobilicorpus!"

Snape was pulled towards them, through the crowd that had gathered at the sound of fighting. Before he could say anything, however, Snape spoke with a twinkle of malice in his eye.

"So is it true?" he asked.

"What are you talking about, you mentally mutilated psycho?" demanded James, "I don't think you're in any position to make accusations either, because I'll be taking twenty points from Slytherin for your little fire-flinging stunt."

"That Evans has relived herself of one Hufflepuff boyfriend? Not that I care of course, but it would be nice to confirm why the whole school is placing bets as to how long it will be before the slut gets herself a new one."

Most of the people gathered cringed. _That_ was going to cost him.

It was a well-known fact that James was, usually, an extremely laid back boy. Cracking jokes and making people laugh was what he did best, and because he was one of the most intelligent students in the school, he didn't have to worry about schoolwork, (when he felt the slightest inclination to try his hand at some), he didn't worry about getting into trouble, because they wouldn't expel someone of such high talent, and he didn't worry about anything social, because he had three of the very best friends in the world.

However, there were a few points that were a tad touchy to him, so if you wanted to piss James Potter off, (apart from making sure you had a suicide note beside you), you could do one of the following things.

· Express the opinion that werewolves are traitorous murderers

· Casually remark that all Gryffindors are good-for–nothing turds

· Throw a punch at either Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew or Sirius Black

· Ponder out loud why people played Quidditch when it seemed like such a pointless waste of time

And finally, one that should bring a black-haired, hazel-eyed Armageddon your way,

· Insult Lily Evans

The Head Girl in question sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, wouldn't Professor Flitwick just stroll into the corridor and save her now?

James's face was going uncharacteristically red. Verity started to fear for Snape's life. Lily tutted, this had gone far enough.

"Potter, put Snape down, _NOW_!" she said sharply. James whirled round, bringing Snape with him. He directed Snape right up close to Lily, making her take a step back.

"Apologise to the Head Girl!" he shouted. Lily pulled out her own wand. By now, Snape looked positively worried.

"Potter, if you don't put Snape down, _right now_ . . ."

"Please do as Miss Evans says, Mr Potter, or I shall be taking points off."

The students turned to see Professor Flitwick pattering along the corridor with his satchel, wade through the crowd, ('Pardon me, mind yourself, excuse me . . .') and unlock the classroom.

It was barely two feet from Snape's feet to the floor, but James, sour-faced, made a point of just plopping him onto the slabs as if he were letting go of someone else's smelly sock. Snape glowered as his legs crumpled beneath him and stalked off to find his classroom. Lily hurried into the room after Flitwick, wondering how she was going to explain to him what had happened to her homework.

_"I'm very sorry Professor, but I don't have my homework today because a Slytherin set fire to it."_

In her ponderings, she didn't notice when James grabbed hold of Verity and steered her into his usual seat between Sirius and Remus, slipping into the seat beside Lily himself. Lily turned to speak to Verity and jumped when she was faced with James instead.

"Hello," he whispered as people around them settled down. Lily scanned round desperately for another seat but there were none left. Oh no, she did _not_ want to speak to James right now, if she did she thought that her wand would probably do most of the talking.

Lily set her jaw determinedly. James sighed. He was going to have to explain something to her, but how was he going to do it when she wouldn't even engage in communication with him? Mime it? He automatically pulled out quill, ink and a sheet of parchment and suddenly he had an idea. Maybe it was a little old school, but those who owed big apologies could not be choosy.

As Professor Flitwick introduced the new charm they would be tackling today, he started to scribble. When he had finished, he pushed the sheet towards Lily, who promptly ignored it completely.

**Lily, **

**I want to apologise for just now. It was a really stupid thing to do and it didn't help anything. I realise now that you would have handled it a lot better.**

**Scribble back?**

He could see with a slight twinge of satisfaction that she was itching to read it. It is a fact of life that notes passed in class are irresistible to read both when they are addressed to you and even more when they aren't. Finally she snatched it up and slipped it into her text book to read. Then she picked up her quill and scribbled below James's note, as he awaited it eagerly.

_Potter,_

_Of course I would have handled it better. For one, I would have simply ignored him, haven't you learnt by now that people like Snape are simply not worth anyone's time? I don't listen to anything he has to say and neither should you. _

_Stop passing notes in class and start taking them!_

James sighed and tried to explain.

**Lily,**

**I'm really sorry, I just couldn't help it. You know I like you a lot, so much, in fact, that when anyone tries to hurt you, or calls you names, I dunno, it just gets to me.**

**Like when that igniting charm was flying your way, first I wanted to be sure that there was no way you would be hurt, next I wanted to curse Snivellus's brains out. You may not believe it, but it's completely true. It's like a tick, an instinct. **

**I've never taken a single note in my life and I don't intend to start now.**

Lily picked up the sheet of parchment straight away this time, and as she read it though, her expression got softer and softer, until it reached a kind of pitying annoyance, like the expression with which one might a regard a fly which is just about to meet a fly-swatter.

_You are such a stupid idiot sometimes, but I suppose it's OK. By the way, I'm still taking points off._

James grinned.

**I know I'm a stupid idiot, and it's all your fault. Damn, I was hoping you'd forget about those.**

The rest of the lesson they passed in silence, well, written silence, except for a single '_Thank you_' that was uttered by way of the parchment when the Head Boy interrupted his neighbour to explain why she didn't have her homework.

"It's lying in a pile of ashes in the corridor outside. Will you be taking House points off Sni- Snape, Professor, or shall I?"

* * *

"And that concludes our meeting for today," Lily finished, standing before the prefects of each house, while James lounged in a chair beside her with his ankles crossed on the table in front of him. They were assembled in an empty classroom for a prefect meeting and while Lily had been speaking for a little under an hour, the only things that had been coming out of James's mouth were the bubbles he blew in his Drooble's Best Blowing Gum.

"I'm sorry today's meeting has been such a long one," Lily said, trying to ignore the filthy bottoms of the Head Boy's shoes, that were dangerously close to her parchments, copies of the duties lists, and the rounds timetables she had just managed to fill in. "But, as you can see, we have everything sorted out now, so there shouldn't be another meeting of this length unless things go considerably less than smoothly." She shot James a warning look, telling him if things did indeed fail to go smoothly, she would be blaming him.

"Any questions?" she asked.

There was a huge rustle and almost every person in the room raised a hand. "Oh," said Lily, a little shocked. Had she really explained things that badly?

"The first person," interrupted James, speaking for the first time, "who utters anything remotely connected to Amos Diggory, loses both their badge and their dignity at breakfast tomorrow." There was no doubt this threat meant one of the Head Boy's famed practical jokes, and the forest of hands met a rather absolute bout of deforestation.

"Brilliant," he said, removing his shoes from the table, "Oh, and would the Gryffindor Prefects pass on a message to anyone concerned in your year that Quidditch practice starts Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays next week. Details on the notice board. See you all then."

_Next week?_ thought Lily queasily, her stomach squirming with nerves. She was, in fact, so distressed at this news that she didn't snap once at James all the way back to the Heads' Dorms, not even when he asked her if she would allow him to buy her a Butterbeer in Hogsmeade that weekend.

**

* * *

a/n**

Who is Michael? As in, _'Come and dance with me, Michael'_? He's so incredibly buff in that video. I hear he's the actual Michael who the song was written about.

Ok, that's it, I can't die without knowing that guy's name. If I were to be hit by a bus tomorrow, I'd be all 'Nope! Sorry! Not happening, can't die now, you know, not without knowing _come and dance with me_-Michael's surname!'

Why, why, oh _why_ are Franz Ferdinand so sexy?

I can't figure it out.

**Tsusetsu**: Whoa, so you're really serious about visiting Merry Ol' England?

**charbar**: Hello my luffly. Thank you so much for the review. I'm still thinking about the English, wasn't it terrible? Lily and James won't get together for a long time, or maybe not all, you never know. At any rate, there must first be fluff.

**Laney-Wood**: Yes, he's a bit head-over-heals really, isn't he? . . . Rather pathetic, if you think about it, but you can't help who you fall for I suppose.

**mango**: I'll see what I can do for you.

**Shanti**: Eat my family? As in my blood family who live in my house? Go ahead, I won't miss them, I assure you. Although, they may be a bit chewy.

**Tracey**: Oh my God, I just got the BIGGEST flash back of Doug ever known. Skeeter WAS the coolest, you're totally right!I want a cat called Frodo!

**The ORIGINAL Meathead**: I don't really think James has anything to do with the article. He's too noble to anything like that. Can't you just see him sniffing at these accusations, saying 'It's just not done, you know, it's not the Gryffindor way.' Haha.

**siriusforeva**: Poor James, indeed.

**FrighteninglyObsessed**: Well that's fantastic news.

**foxyie xox**: Thank you, my luff. And indeed, Rita Skeeter is a butt-face.

**iluvdraco4eva**: He really is, isn't he? I'm glad he's out of the picture, although, I may have to make him make one last entrance, just for old times' sake.

**SnakeEyesHannah**: Me? Inspiring? You flatter me. I like writing about details. They rock.

**shortywithbrains**: Maybe that's for them to know and us to never find out. :D I don't like intruding on people's personal lives, especially people as sweet as Remus.

**kiwislushie**: Hehehe, Rita and Snape, fabulous idea. But wait, I have another use for Snape in this fic.

**milky way bar**: Yes, fortunately, this fic will not be anywhere near as long as the last one, thank fluff.

**Smay**: I really dislike her too, but she does have her good points. No, wait a minute, I can't think of any.

**mika-mitch**: What's so funny about 'Hiya'? I said it all the bloody time. Like, every hour, on the hour. I hope you remember your questions soon, I like answering questions.

**ebony-plays-the-viola**: Whoa, connecting fanfiction with real life . . . how 'out there'! And you're perfectly right, Lily is having some sort of inner struggle, as to what it is, however, I can't necessarily say. Sorry. :D Mulan is one of my favourite Disney movies ever. In fact, it comes right after Beauty and the Beast. Yes, I often miss words out randomly, but fortunately, this has gone down since I got myself the fabulous beta that is Rose. (Blows kiss to Rose.) You should see the amount of mistakes in my chappies before she gets a hold of them. I could tell you were in a good mood that day because you said my fic had depth, which, I assure you, it does not! Are you joking? This could be the most un-serious fic ever read! But thank you all the same for your lovely comments on characters, description etc. I was very pleased and maybe I'll look up those books you recommended.

Lastly: satire? What satire? :D

**limbo-gal**: Yes, the story is very light, and it intends to stay that way. Lily in the other fic was a travesty, and I'm very sorry about that.

**Next Chappy:**

The intricate and complicated structure of the Hogwarts Quidditch tournament shifts ever so slightly. What this means, I do not know. You had better ask James.

Rita Skeeter dares to show her face in public. (Cow)

James actually _catches_ and _convicts_ a troublemaker. Shock horror! What _is_ the world coming to?


	6. Police to No 10!

**Six – Police to No 10! . . .**

_Urgh_, thought Lily. _What a hideously exhausting week._

Apart from Monday, James had dragged her down to the Quidditch Pitch every single afternoon after lessons and put her through various drills that she would have refused to do under any other circumstances, (the present ones incorporating her thirst to carry out that well known song lyric: '_Anything you can do, I can do better_'.)

Unfortunately, the things James could do turned out to be quite difficult, and he had been doing them for a lot longer too, so at the end of each day, when she sank into her pillows, Lily felt the soundtrack to her life was now the aptly named song: _It's Been a Hard Day's Night_.

Now, on a Friday evening, she was lying on one of the sofas in the hallway of the Heads' Dorm, in her pyjamas, with the book she had been reading making a tent over her face. How she would love to just drop off here and now . . .

The only thing that did any dropping off was her book though, because at that moment, the door banged open and the Head Boy strode in, looking as stressed as Lily was tired. As _An Expert's Guide to Decorative Charms_ toppled onto the floor, James took the stairs to his dorm three at a time and ran the fingers of both his hands through his hair. The problem with being messy by nature was that you were also often losing important things by nature. Aha! Now he remembered!

He riffled about in one of the drawers of his desk and found what he was looking for. But there was no space to work here, he grabbed some ink and a quill and darted down the stairs again, frowning as he slid onto his knees and slapped the parchment he'd located onto the coffee table.

"Who poured potion in _your_ pumpkin juice?" asked Lily sleepily, and James only just noticed she was there. Instantly, his mood lifted, and he smiled faintly.

"It's nothing," he said. "You look tired, take a nap."

"Don't you shrug _me_ off, Potter," she said indignantly, "I asked what the matter was and I want to know what the matter is."

"If I remember correctly you asked who poured potion in my pumpkin juice," James grinned, teasing. "And I'm fairly certain when I say that no one _ever_ gets into _my_ pumpkin juice. Why do you want to know anyway? You look like you would rather be tucked up in bed with a hot water bottle."

He looked down at his parchment and frowned again, so he didn't notice that he had caught her off guard. Indeed, Lily was asking herself why she wanted to know. It couldn't be because she was looking for a way to help him, to take that aberrant frown off his face, where a lopsided grin rightly belonged . . . no, she was just curious, that would be it.

"I just do, OK?" she argued, "because when that usual cocky grin has left your face, then I know something serious must have happened . . . possibly the assassination of the Prime Minister." James chuckled.

"If I tell you, will you promise to go upstairs and lie down?"

"If it means that much to you," answered Lily in a voice that clearly said she thought him a bit strange.

"It does," James said honestly, not looking up. Again, he had caught her off guard! If they had been in a duel, she would have been looking around for a competent second by now.

"So what's got you all riled up, then?" she asked, distracting herself from the sickly sweet feeling in her stomach by reaching down to pick up her book.

"Snape's been to the hospital wing, complaining of a twinge in his knee, apparently from when I dropped him onto the floor on Monday."

"How would that not make you happy?" asked Lily, confused.

"He's convinced Madam Pomfrey to give him enough reason to miss his first Quidditch match next month, against _us_. So now, I have to change our entire training programme to fit the Hufflepuffs instead, they have a completely different style of playing."

Lily frowned. It was such a strange sight to behold: James's tall form bent over a piece of parchment, brow knit slightly as he drew the strangest signs and symbols and scribbled little notes around the edges. Firstly, because he just didn't seem to fit the job description of writing something, his shoulders were too broad, his limbs were too long and his eyes were too playful to be hooded on work, secondly because . . . this was _James Potter_, who never actually concentrated for more than an average of six seconds on anything!

Maybe Lily's eyes were playing tricks on her, and the image of James Potter working was merely an illusion. Maybe she was more exhausted than she thought.

As he scribbled, she pulled the rest of his pile of work towards her, and rolled over onto her back again, examining the pages full of his tall, spidery handwriting. Crickey, this was . . . confusing. The contents of the pages were overflowing with phrases she didn't understand, like 'Porskoff Ploy' and 'Dopplebeater Defence'. There were also a number of intricate diagrams that would have probably taken Lily a whole hour to decipher, yet James was putting them together like he was writing fluently in another language.

She laid the pages back on the coffee table carefully and regarded him for a moment.

"You really do know what you're talking about, don't you?" she said. James smiled and looked up from his parchment.

"It may come as a shock, and I don't expect you to believe this, but I do have the capacity to work hard . . . I just never do it in lessons." A grin appeared on his face, but it was short lived. "What are you still doing down here?" he demanded.

"What?" asked Lily.

"I told you to go upstairs and go to sleep!" he said, with a wonderfully authoritative tone.

"Oh," Lily sighed distractedly. She raised a hand to rub her eyes, and let out a small scream when she found herself being lifted clean off the sofa. "Potter!" she squealed, outraged, "Put me down this instant!" James ignored her, and ferried her across the hall, struggling to keep a hold of her knees and back.

"Stop squirming," he told her in the same tone, and pulled her body closer to him. Lily gave up, she was too tired, thank Merlin they had reached the door to her staircase, he was going to put her down now . . .

"What's the password?" he asked her. _Oh no._

"Just put me down now," she resisted, "I can walk, you know."

"Not until you say the password," he said, not budging. Lily could only be grateful that nobody was in the same room to see this, she'd never live it down.

"Pruning Petunias," she muttered sullenly, and to her horror, not only did he not put her down, but he carried her all the way up the stairs and into her dorm! Well, maybe not completely to her horror, because she _did_ want to sleep, and she _had_ been dreading climbing those stairs, but still . . .

James placed her carefully on the duvet and jumped backwards when she made a grab at his neck.

"Now, now," he told her, waggling a finger at her teasingly, "it's for your own good, young lady. Now go to sleep and don't wake up until late tomorrow in time to ferry the little people over to Hogsmeade with me, all right?" Lily only glowered in response. "Nighty-night," he bade her, and disappeared through the door.

Much too late, Lily had the idea of throwing something at him, but she probably would have been too sleepy to aim properly anyway, and she couldn't be arsed to get off her warm bed.

Next morning, Lily put it down to being impossibly tired, but at the moment when she snuggled down under the covers and closed her eyes, the thought struck her that it had been quite nice, being ordered about by James. Maybe it was because she was used to having to be in charge herself, but that authoritative tone that James had only dared to use because she was wandless and tired, had made her feel . . . cared for.

The stress was taking its toll on her, she thought the next morning, she was going nuts.

* * *

"Thanks, I needed that," Lily said to Verity, as she put her bottle of Butterbeer back down on the table after taking the gulp to end all gulps. 

"I'd hate to see what you'd be like with real drinks," Verity said, surveying the half-empty (or half-full) bottle.

"Then you'd better not offer to pay for _them_," grinned Lily.

"I'll bear that in mind," smiled Verity. "So, you nervous then?"

"'Bout what?" asked Lily with a grin, "ending up a terminal alcoholic and drinking myself into an early grave?"

"No, 'bout practices," Verity said, tutting.

"Should I be?" asked Lily, "because . . . I really am."

"Well, you know," Verity said, tracing the rim of her Butterbeer bottle, "it's just . . . girls . . . _playing Quidditch_ . . . you don't see it all that often, do ya?"

"_You've _been playing since you were seven, you told me," Lily argued.

"Yeah, but I'm different, I'm a 'ladette' aren't I?" smirked Verity. "All friendly with the chaps and so on, I don't have any girl friends, apart from you, of course, and I play Quidditch. You, on the other hand are undeniably a girly girl, aren't ya? I'm just saying, don't be surprised if you get any trouble from people, that's all. Besides, I reckon half the school thinks I'm a boy, and the other half reckons I'm romantically confused, so there you go . . ."

"Little do they know that Verity Hooch only plays Quidditch because all the good-looking guys do!" whispered Lily, propelling both her and Verity into hysterical giggles.

"Hello!" muttered Verity, after she had pulled herself together. "Speak of the devils." Lily turned to the doorway of the pub and spotted two heads of black hair, one of light brown and one of blonde.

"Oh, bollocks," she muttered as Verity stood up, clutching her Butterbeer and waved for all she was worth.

"**OI**! Lads!" she hollered. Really it was no wonder half the school thought her best friend was a boy, mused Lily, with a voice like that, she could commentate for games without a microphone. "Are you gonna come and buy us a couple of rounds or what?"

James's eyes lit up when he saw a redhead beside Verity, as if he'd just been presented with a Quaffle and an open goal. The boys waded through the pub towards their table and slid into seats, trapping the girls between them. _No escape now, Lily_, she thought.

"Evening, evening, ladies," grinned James.

"And what would you two lovely creatures be doing in a _pub_ of all places?" demanded Sirius, grinning, "It just ain't respectable you know."

"Especially with the likes of _you lot_," added Lily, while Sirius pretended to be scandalized and clamped his hands to his cheeks.

There was a clacking sound and the six seventh years looked up too see Madam Rosemerta tottering over to their table with a notebook and a quill.

"All right, kids?" she said, giving them a fuchsia pink smile, while Lily grinned back. That really was the colour to get anyone with a hangover out of your pub in the early morning. "What it'll it be, then?"

"Why, Rosemerta!" exclaimed Sirius suddenly, ignoring the question. "I do believe you get prettier every time I see you."

"That's probably because _you_ get uglier every time you see your reflection in the drink she hands you," muttered James, loud enough for everyone to hear. Rosemerta threw back her head and laughed as if the smoke coming off the warlock's pipe at the next table were laughing gas.

"What a pair, you two!" she gasped, "But I can't stand here, chortlin' all evening with you, got drinks to serve an' that."

"What a shame," sighed James, tilting his head towards Lily in feigned disappointment. Rosemerta arched an eyebrow and glanced from Lily to James and back again.

"'Ere," she said suspiciously, "You two been stepping out at last, an' not telling me?" Lily's eyes widened in horror. James made a 'pf!' noise.

"I wish!" he laughed, and leaned forward to whisper quite loudly, "Lily here's out of my league."

"Now that is a shame," sighed Madam Rosemerta, while Lily let her head fall onto the table with a bang. "So what'll it be to drink, boys?"

"Three whiskeys."

"A bottle of Ogden's."

"Five vodkas."

"And a dozen shots of gin," they said in turn.

"Four Butterbeers it is," smiled the landlady, turning back to the bar.

"Oh well, two months to go until I'm eighteen," grinned James. Verity gasped.

"_No bloody way_!" Lily exclaimed quietly, with such a dirty look on her face that a whole bottle of Miss Skower's could not have removed it.

"It's all right, Lilo, you don't _have _to get me a birthday present," James assured her. Then he followed her gaze and said, "Oh."

"It's the wand-blonde parrot herself," Remus muttered.

"Pray for your lives and reputations," added Sirius quietly as Rita Skeeter neared their table.

Lily eyed the Ravenclaw scathingly, trying to keep her temper under control, but it was like trying to hold back a shark that had just caught a whiff of blood in the water. Rita smiled around the table smugly, knowing perfectly well she was as welcome here as a notorious criminal in Gringotts.

"Hi, James," she said sweetly.

"Goodbye," he answered pointedly. Rita only smiled wider and tossed her hair over her shoulder.

"I wonder if you would do me a favour, you see, I run this little newsletter called _Hogwarts_ _Hearsay_, you may have heard of it, anyway, it would be really good if the next issue had an interview, preferably from someone famous, and you're the lucky star!"

"Pardon me?" asked James, in a slightly disgusted voice.

"I would only need about five minutes of your time," Rita said, "or more . . . if you feel like it." She smirked.

"No, I honestly didn't hear a word you said," James amended, "because I've decided that it's best not to pay any attention to the stream of utter rubbish that comes out of your mouth, so I'm afraid that there's really no point in you being here any longer, unless it's to apologise for spreading nasty rumours about Lily." James looked at the Ravenclaw expectantly.

"Well I don't think there's anything to apologise for," Rita said innocently, looking hurt. "You see, it _is_ called _Hogwarts Hearsay_, so whatever I hear, I write. That's how it works."

"Who did you hear it from then?" asked Verity, laying a hand on Lily's twitching arm.

"I can't reveal my sources," Rita said, as if she were talking to a frog.

"We understand," Remus told her, "It's never easy admitting you're a schizophrenic."

"Now please remove yourself, and the voices in your head," requested Sirius.

Rita's lips pursed as if she had just drunk a whole bottle of undiluted lemonade, before she turned around, and walked towards the doorway of the pub.

* * *

It was Wednesday, in the changing rooms and James was standing with Verity and Sirius outside the cubicle Lily had been changing in . . . for the last half-hour. 

"Lilo! Come on!" called Verity.

"You want to be out in time for our first match, at least," added James, grinning. The door unlocked and opened. There stood Lily in a severely over-sized set of Quidditch robes, hem dragging on the floor and sleeves half way down her thighs.

"Don't. Say. A. Word," she warned them.

"I think we ought to shrink them," James said, and Lily shot him a look that could have blistered paint.

Her Quidditch robes shrunken considerably, Lily followed the other seventh years out onto the pitch, clutching James's old Sparrow Sixteen . It sounded silly, but she didn't feel stupid now, as she did in her huge robes in the changing rooms. All that made way for an undercurrent of excitement as James dumped the box of Quidditch balls down on the grass and his broomstick on top of it.

"Right, seven players, we're all here, are we?"

The team nodded, looking eager to get back on the pitch. As well as Lily, James, Verity and Sirius, Keith Barker filled in the other Beater's position, (sixth year, only just recovered from sixty-eight stitches collectively) Ainsley Tall defended the goals as Keeper, (third year, told to tie back his dreadlocks every single practice by James) and Simon Kipping added to James and Verity as the third Chaser (sixth year and apparently knew the release date, selling statistics and mechanical characteristics of every broomstick currently sold in the world).

"This," began James, "is Sirius's, Verity's, Lily's and my last year here at Hogwarts, our last and Lily's only year of playing Quidditch."

Lily glanced at Sirius and Verity, asking silently if James was always this morose at the beginning of each season. Verity shook her head with a puzzled look on her face.

"This is our last chance to win it. Admittedly, we were a bit unlucky the past few years, injuries . . ." Keith grinned as Sirius slapped him on the back, ". . . people taking time off because it looked it they were going to fail their OWLs . . ."

"I passed, didn't I?" smiled Simon, raising his hands in a shrug.

" . . . and, of course, those bloody, cheating, foul-playing Slytherins," finished James bitterly. "We easily have the best team in this school, and the only reason we haven't held up that cup is because _some people_ think it's all right to ignore the rules of this beautiful game!" There was a cheer from the team and Lily struggled not to laugh.

"So **this year**, what we're going to do is play like we've . . . always done and . . ." The captain frowned for a moment, ". . . hope we don't get screwed about, I suppose." Sniggers ran through the team as James coughed and pushed his glasses up his nose. Then he laughed. "OK, I mucked up _that_ speech, but we're going to win this year! I can _feel_ it!" he chuckled as the team laughed and shook their heads.

"Oh, and one minor note," James added. "Our Lily here's a bit new to the game, doesn't quite know what she's doing as of yet, _ow_" James rubbed the back of his head where the Sparrow Sixteen had connected with it. "But if any of you or anyone else gives her any stick about it then you're off the team no arguments."

"Are we talking about the same Lily here?" asked Ainsley, "I don't think anyone has dared give Lily any stick, _ever_." He winked at her, making her smile.

"Even more of a reason not to," grinned James, kicking the ball box open. "Right! Groups of three please, one at each end. One feeder, one attacker, one defender, count your goals! Tall! If I have to tell you about that hair again, I'm coming after you with a pair of scissors, you have to sleep sometime!"

* * *

_Question 1) Referring to the attack of Asian Harpies in 469 BC, explain how this event in wizarding history affected the next fifty years both socially and politically. (12 marks)_

Lily had long decided that there was absolutely nothing funny about NEWT practice papers. They were hard, they were impossible without an open textbook and by Merlin, they were bloody scary. Sighing, she flipped though _Before__ You Were Born: Three Thousand Years of History You Missed, NEWT Edition_, underlining chunks of text in red ink. She was just about to start the first sentence of her answer when a knocking sound echoed through the Heads' Dorms, making her quill skid on the parchment.

Tutting, Lily threw it down onto her desk and stood up, going downstairs to the hall. No one was supposed to be out of their dorms at this hour, and what idiot would be breaking a rule and knocking on the Heads' door? It was probably stupid Potter back from his rounds, who had forgotten the password . . .

"Amos!" she exclaimed, as the door clicked open.

"Hello, Lily," he said, and made to enter. Lily stopped the door opening.

"Sorry," she said, a puzzled expression on her face, "But . . . what are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you. Isn't it the Head Girl's duty to listen to anyone who wants someone to talk to?" he asked, with a funny smile on his face.

"Depends what they want to talk about," Lily said coldly, "you have twenty seconds." A faintly panicked look crossed his face, then it flicked back to that quietly confident and very annoying look.

As soon as he got into the Heads' Dorm, James thought as he neared it, he was going to have a long bath and go straight to bed. He took his glasses off to rub sleep out of his eyes as he turned the corner into the corridor, and frowned as he couldn't remember the password. What was it again? Goopy Goo? He didn't have to worry though, the door was already open. Lily was talking to someone through the doorway. James perched his glasses on his nose again so he could see. _What was **Diggory** doing anywhere **near** Lily?!_

James stopped to watch, it would be a little awkward if he just strolled up and went in, but he promised himself, if voices got raised . . .

"Lily," Diggory began, leaning against the door. Lily, on the other hand, was beginning to regret leaving her wand in her room. "You can't deny that . . . everybody makes mistakes. You have to accept that everybody makes mistakes."

"I accept that everybody makes mistakes, Amos," Lily answered calmly. James closed his eyes, as if someone had shone a light bulb in his face.

"And I want to put my mistake right," Diggory continued.

"That's good, Amos," Lily said sweetly, "because I made a mistake too." Amos looked at her and smiled. James leaned against the wall, a horrible feeling gripping his stomach, giving him the sensation that he was on a submarine with a leak.

"Good," Diggory said.

"Yes it is, actually," Lily said, "because my mistake was ever agreeing to go out with you in the first place."

"What?" asked Diggory, as James stuffed a fist in his mouth to stop himself laughing.

"I don't want to talk to you anymore, Amos," Lily said, trying to close the door, "Goodnight."

"No! Wait! Lily!" he exclaimed, struggling to keep the door open. This was enough for James, who started to move towards them.

"Diggory! Let go of the door!" Lily said, her voice rising.

"Not until you admit we belong together!" Diggory shouted, and seized Lily's wrist.

"Let me go! What do you think you're doing?" There was a cough and the two of them turned to see James standing beside them in the corridor. Diggory's nostrils flared in anger as James pasted an inquisitive smile on his face.

"Isn't it always the same with rounds?" he asked Lily in a gossipy tone, "You trek all the bloody way round the castle without a clue, and the rule-breaking buggers are _always _in the last place you look." Lily breathed out slowly and wouldn't look him in the eye. "So Diggory!" James continued, as if they were at a party and he was just about to start a conversation by asking what the boy did for a living, "Here you are, out of your dorm, harassing the Head Girl! Aren't you lucky I came along? Let's see, first I want you to let go of Lily." Diggory sullenly released Lily's wrist, and she drew it back to her, stroking it to get blood flowing to her fingers again. "Well done," James told Diggory, "Now I want you to piss off and know that I'll be taking points off and getting you a detention every night for as long as I can manage."

James stuck his hands in his pockets as Diggory turned slowly and walked back down the corridor. Lily darted angrily into the room, not quite sure who she was angry at, but angry anyway. James rushed in after her.

"Hey, wait! Are you all right?" he asked her, before she reached her staircase. Lily turned on him, her anger bubbling over.

"I was _doing fine_!" she shouted, clenching her fists so that her newly blood-rushed knuckles went white again. "Just _fine_!"

"Lily, he was hurting you!" James answered exasperatedly, gesturing to her wrist, "And I don't trust him not to take advantage of-" he was about to say 'your size' but he opted for, "Your extremely fast metabolism," instead. Lily changed track.

"You are _such_ a hypocrite!" she told him furiously, "What right did _you_ have to punish him for sneaking out after hours? _You've_ done it more times than there are trees in the Forbidden Forest!"

"Lily, calm down," James said, stepping towards her, but she only kept on stepping backwards, and James was afraid she was going to trip on something. "I'm not pretending I didn't break a few rules, but as least it was only to play a prank or two, not to try and force someone I hurt to be my girlfriend again!"

He hadn't realised he had raised his voice, but it was louder than it usually was and with James, that qualified as shouting. Maybe it had been the sight of Diggory's grip, blocking the path of blood to those fingers that he believed could catch the snitch, the fingers that wrote one hundred and three percent exam papers, the fingers that threw momentous curses, tucked those auburn ringlets behind those ears . . . the fingers that were now clamped over those lips as those eyes struggled not to cry.

James's mouth opened in quiet horror as he watched her curl up and put a hand over her trembling lip.

"I'm really sorry," she told him, "I didn't mean any of that."

_Lily Evans **never** cried_.

"Lily," he said softly, rushing forward, "come on, sit down." He put a hand on her shoulder and guided her towards a sofa. She sat without argument, sniffing, failing to stop the tears that were falling onto her freckles. "Hey," he said, sitting down and digging about in his pocket for a handkerchief, "Hey, don't cry."

"I am _not crying_," she said in a wobbly voice, but she took the hanky and mopped her eyes anyway. James breathed a laugh and put his arms around her, pulling her into a hug.

Lily couldn't remember the last time she had been hugged like that, if there had indeed been a time, but all of a sudden, as she leaned into the cotton of his school shirt and breathed in his smell, it seemed like she had nothing to cry about, even though she definitely was _not crying_.

"Of course not, Lilo," James answered, as he rocked her slowly, "keep the hanky."

**a/n**

_Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better – _Sang by Doris Day and some other guy whose name I can't remember in the musical, _Annie, Get Your Gun_

_It's Been a Hard Day's Night _– By the Beatles, and no, it's just the first verse, not the chorus, if anything of that like went on, rest assured I would have told you. I'm not that cruel

**Firstly, **this is how my life in general pans out for the next two months:

Until Thursday, I have to find time to study, go Christmas shopping, and go to various Christmas parties that my luffly friends are holding.

On Thursday the 22nd, I'm going to Florida until the 3rd when I will be back, severely jetlagged just in time for TWO WEEKS of national mock exams on the 5th until the 19th.

Fabulous.

So basically, there probably won't be many updates in the next month. Maybe there'll be one or two . . . if you're lucky. (Cries with the massive injustice of nasty exams)

**Secondly**, does anyone know what the weather's like in Florida now? Or maybe how many hours the flight is from London? Knowing that, I might be able to work out how many subjects I can try and cram into my head during the flight.

**Thirdly, **I just realised: this story has more than 100 reviews, yay! However, I sort of missed it, because it was two chapters back, I think, so I've picked the landmark number of 111 reviews which was reached in chapter 5, and I have drawn some random little doodle to say **THANK YOU VERY VERY VERY MUCH! I LUFF YOU! **

img. photobucket. com/ albums/ v200/ koonelli/ Fanart/ 111reviews. jpg (delete spaces after every dot and slash)

**Call-Sugarhigh-Police**: Lol, I luff it! I luff it so much! Savvysavvysavvysavvy . . .

**Flame Of Desire**: OK! Thanks so much, honey.

**iluvdraco4eva**: Hilarious, eh? I shall make sure to piss James off, more then. :D

**SatanaChick**: Thank you so much, darling. Dialogue is the thing that keeps the fic rolling.

**SnakeEyesHannah**: Wow, such flattery! Your second favourite author is a good thing to be, I think. Hey! You can't _have_ James (in any sense of the word), there's a queue here, you know, so get in line, sister. :D And of course awesomest is a word, I shall make a point of trying to use it somewhere. Hold on a minute, if you need the fic to stay alive, and you smack me over the head, then I shall probably be out cold on the floor, therefore I shall not be able to write any more chapters and we shall both die terrible tragic deaths. In essence, I hope I update soon enough for you. (And please don't hit me, I'm nice, honest.)

**shortywithbrains**: Yeeheehee. I luff embarrassing Remus. He's such a sweety.

**Shanti-shiznigh**: Franz Ferdinand IS sexy? I'm talking about the band, honey, who ARE sexy. I hope that's who you're talking about too. Thanks so much for the review, and I really hope that's your real name, because it is the coolest.

**soccerchic1989**: Yeah, fanfiction was being a bit of a bitch last chapter, and I wanted to update sooner but the bloody thing wouldn't let me. Grrr. But that is all behind us now and we're friends again. (Huggles website)

**limbo-gal**: I think so too. She's very stubborn though, so it could be a long while before we get to move the donkey anywhere. In the meantime, I get to write lots of shamelessly teasing, slightly suggestive, plot-lengthening fluff!

**Smay**: No! Lily and James are not together! If they got together, I would do it in a BIG way. Like kisses and celebrations and fireworks and all that jazz. I'm still not sure I'll get them together, you know. It could NEVER HAPPEN!

**Red-Emerald**: Yes! Hoorah for Quidditch! I luff writing about Quidditch games, they're so fun to describe.

**Anne-Janet**: Cookies! (drools) Yes! Please sit down, my luff. Now, Milk? Sugar? I am sorry your last review didn't show up. Fanfiction was not being nice to me either.

**Tracey**: Yes, James is sweet, we luff him. About MelissaMarie, she wrote a fantastically entertaining fic, but I remember applying for the job of beta, and she emailed me back with an acceptance of the job. So, there I was, thrilled to the very bones in my body that I was going to beta for her, and then she never sent me any chapters. I honestly haven't a clue what's happened to her. I wrote her email, wondering where she'd gone, but she never wrote back. Basically, I'm as stumped as you are, luff.

**charbar**: Original? Yay! Original! I ring bells and sethdance every time I hear that word in my reviews! Honey, history course work is not worth your time, think of how many chapters I could be writing during course work. Just THINK! I may string it out forever. I could never get them together. I could make them go their separate ways without any sort of closure. Wouldn't THAT be original? (Grins evilly)

**siriusforeva**: Go James! (Waves flag!)

**Laney-Wood**: I think you'll find Lily doesn't really like James, but her opinion is changing, just very slowly :D How many sisters do you have? I really wish I had a sister. All I got is a useless little brother who I never speak to, but that's my luck for you.

**fairybells3**: With sugar on top? Well, you sold me, my darling. :D

**geckaclark**: Update soon or I shall kill you? Well, other people seem to like the story, so if you kill me, I suspect you won't be popular with either them, or my posse. Never mind, you left a nice review, so I forgive you.

**kiwislushie**: Sadly, Lily didn't say yes when James asked her out, she just didn't shout at him. Which is an improvement, really, but still not ideal. Yes, Snape will be back, so BE AFRAID!

**milky way bar**: Thank you, my luff, see you next chappy!

**mika-mitch**: Hiya! Well, I'm not a cowboy, it's just what people say in London. James is funny, I often laugh at him. He doesn't really appreciate it.

**Elspeth Renee**: Yes, all the conflict do make it interesting. I have many more up my sleeve, just you wait, my darling.

**FrighteninglyObsessed**: Not worse? Are you sure? If you're close to giving my some con crit, please do! Another use for Snape? That would be telling. (Giggles)

**Ranitta**: Thank you so much for the review! Where are you from?

**foxyie xox**: Sadly, it wasn't Snape. Although you don't like Diggory either, so I hope I satisfied your lust for revenge.

**Tsusetsu**: Thanks, are you sure you want to come? I think maybe Scotland would be a better choice, or Australia.

**The ORIGINAL Meathead**: Unfortunately, the first practice wasn't interesting enough for me to write about, but I did write some fluff. I'm convinced that little brothers are punishments for we must have done in another life or something.

**Lady of Masbolle**: Fantabulous? Thank you very much. Keep reading, my luff.

**Next chappy:**

It's pistols at dawn between two teams, and it might not even be those scheduled to play the first game of the season.

I hope you've all got your red and gold scarves on for Gryffindor's first match. I expect banners, slogans, flags and passionate cheering from everybody. Make sure to get a good seat. Everyone who's anyone will be there.

Basically, don't miss the match, even if you're dead.


	7. Last Will and Testament

**Seven – Last Will And Testament . . .**

It is the truth, universally acknowledged, that any event one is dreading must arrive sooner than you think. For example, project presentations, examinations and orthodontist appointments always seem to suck up the time before them like vacuum cleaners. Similarly, anticipated events always crawl towards one at the rate of a drowsy snail. For example, weekends, the end of a school day and Christmas seem to deliberately prolong the longing for them to finally happen.

"Last practice before the match! If you don't actually know how to fly, this is your last chance to own up!" shouted James.

"I'm a bit shaky on turning," Sirius grinned, raising his hand.

"I dunno how to kick off!" shouted Keith.

"I have to hold the handle with both hands at all times!" added Verity.

"It should be an easy win for those Hufflepuffs tomorrow then, shouldn't it?"

Lily turned around to see seven, green clad Quidditch players leaning on broomsticks and smirking at the Gryffindors in a rather unsettling way.

"Do you mind?" asked James indignantly, "it may be a foreign concept to you lot, but we are trying to have a practice here."

"Oh don't mind us." Lily identified the speaker to be one Serverus Snape. "We'll just go over there, and you can tell us how much space you need for your massive Gryffindor egos."

"What are you even doing out of the hospital wing, Snape?" asked Sirius testily. "Isn't a twisted ankle enough to keep bed-ridden, squealing in agony?"

Snape ignored the jab, and hooked his eyes on Lily instead. All the Slytherins followed his gaze, among them the gaze of Darius Zabini, who was grasping a humming snitch.

"Got another _girl_ on the team, eh, Potter?" he grinned. Lily felt his eyes linger like a child's when passing an ice cream parlour on the street. She curled herself into a hunch and dragged the scarlet fabric of her over-sized Quidditch robe back up onto her shoulder from where it had fallen. Zabini smirked.

"Yes, well, _you_ don't seem to be having much luck with an all-boy team, so I thought it would be wise to go the other way," James shot back. The members of the Slytherin team narrowed their eyes and cracked their knuckles.

"Well, at least I didn't put them on the team just because I want to get off with them," Zabini smirked, looking condescendingly at the snitch he was pinching in his fingers. James made to reach for his wand but Lily put a hand on his arm. He froze at her touch.

"No, no, it's OK," she said to the Slytherin team. "At least I can still nick the snitch from under your nose, eh? Cant I?" she challenged, swiping the golden ball from the fingers of the Slytherin faster than you could blink.

Laughs and catcalls jeered from the Gryffindors as Ainsley and Keith put a protective arm each round their Seeker, should any Slytherin feel they should take back their Snitch and, while they were at it, a handful of Lily's hair.

They had no reason to worry, however, because the Slytherins were retreating back to the castle.

* * *

That Friday night, James sat in the Gryffindor Common Room, his brow frowning, fingers on his chin, hazel eyes intently focused.

_He could either do that, or do that. But what would his opponent do?_ He hurriedly mapped out some strategies in his head, calculating risks and difficulties.

Finally, he decided on a course of action.

"Checkmate," declared Remus in satisfaction.

"Damn it!" answered James. Honestly, he was _Quidditch Captain_! He should have been able win at chess every single time! Even against a genius like Remus!

Maybe he should hire Remus to work out Quidditch strategies for him?

Apart from the Marauders, the Common Room was empty. Everyone had long gone to bed in order to get up early enough for the match tomorrow. Quidditch was one of the fastest games in existence and bleary eyed and sleepy fans often missed a goal or two in the process of a single yawn.

The Portrait Hole opened silently and James glanced up to see Lily creep in, in only her nightdress, dragging her purple quilt on the floor behind her.

It really should have worked, Lily thought, her plan to enter the Common Room without attracting the attention of the four boys. It should have gone down as smoothly as a pint of Irish beer. Unfortunately, she had forgotten that weird sort of radar that one James Potter had in his head. I mean, come on! How else would he know she had just entered? She was pretty sure there wasn't a third eye in the back of his head. (And in any case, he wouldn't have been able to see with it because his hair was so thick and messy.)

"What are you doing _up?_" the object of her musings demanded, jumping from his seat on the sofa as if he had tried to sit on a kebab stick.

"I couldn't sleep," muttered Lily, exactly like the response of a sulky teenager who had been caught sneaking out. "Too nervous."

James tutted. Sirius pulled a cringe, that was a mistake.

"_You're up_!" Lily shot at the Head Boy testily. "So don't you tut at me, mister I-don't-follow-my-own-advice."

"But Lilo, you're my star player!" James said, leaning over and putting his hands on her shoulders. "Everyone else is expandable . . ."

"Ouch, Prongs! Beaters have feelings too, you know," Sirius interrupted, "Now you've gone and wounded my emotional and sensitive soul."

"Oh shut up, you're wounding _my_ soul," muttered Remus, frowning.

"But there is only one of you, and you're going catch the Snitch for us, aren't you? You're going to win us one hundred and fifty points, aren't you? You're going to get the match in the bag for us, aren't you?"

"Say yes, he's not of stable mind," advised Sirius.

"I'm going to see Verity," Lily said warily, slightly concerned by James's resolve in her position. She freed herself from James's grasp and hurried up the Girls' staircase, nearly tripping up on her quilt and making James cringe.

"Don't get even minutely injured in the next twenty-four hours!" he shouted after her, waking up half of the house while he was at it. "No twists, no pulls, no bruises, no pinches, no paper cuts, nothing! And no talking to Hooch! Lights out, straight to sleep!"

"Oh, go get shoved off a broomstick!" Lily shouted back, waking the remaining half of the house while she was at it.

"What in the name of Cleansweep is going on?" demanded Verity as soon as Lily had entered the seventh year girls' dorms. The other girls, Harriet Wicket and Daisy Bass were sleepily removing their eye masks and earplugs.

"Potter, (stupid hypocrite), was getting up his own arse about me up at this hour when he's probably going to be up past midnight!" fumed Lily, throwing her quilt onto Verity's four poster and sitting down on it with a bad-tempered thump.

"Oh, bloody hell," muttered Harriet wearily, replacing her eye mask with a snap of elastic and throwing her head back onto her pillows. "Would you just snog him and get it over with?"

"I beg your sodding pardon?" asked Lily, in a bit of a shock.

"Honestly, Lilo," Harriet began to explain, ("Would everyone _stop calling me that_?") "It's all that repressed sexual tension. It's enough to make anyone as loud as a sonorous charm at this hour."

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Lily said, with as much dignity as anyone whose blood flow to the face was probably draining most of it away from the brain could.

"What she means to say," Daisy amended, trying to keep the peace and in turn get a little peace, "is that if we don't see you, good luck tomorrow."

"Thank you, Daisy," Lily smiled.

"Ta, Daisy," Harriet said sarcastically.

"Come here," Verity said to Lily, drawing the curtains around her bed again as Lily crawled towards her friend's pillow. The girls snuggled down under two quilts, arms round each other, Lily's head nestled under Verity's chin.

"Ver," Lily whispered, "if I die tomorrow . . ." she began, but was cut off by Verity's burst of giggles.

"Lily, you are _not_ going to die!"

"It's not funny!" Lily insisted, waiting grudgingly for Verity's hysterical laughter to ebb, "if I die, I want you to make sure Potter doesn't let the school sink into complete disorder, will you do that?"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Lilo. Ouch! Did you just pinch me? Or has that family of South American Claw Tweakers gotten in through the window again?"

"And there's something else I would like you to do as well, but only if I die, d'you hear?"

"Fire away," Verity said patiently.

"I want you to . . ." Lily began, and bit her lip. Verity rolled her eyes, if this was the way things were going to progress, they were going to be up until tomorrow's match was over! "I want you to thank Potter on my behalf, for being tolerable in my presence over the past few weeks."

Verity's eyes were just drooping closed, when they widened with an almost audible snap.

"Ha! What?" she exclaimed, loudly.

"Shut the frig up!" Harriet slash Daisy shouted back.

"Only on the condition that I'm firmly six feet under!" Lily insisted with an urgent tone.

"All right, all right, Lily," Verity said, half giggling.

They snuggled down again, pulling the covers back over their heads and sharing out their mutual warmth. Lily closed her eyes and felt that her duty was done. If she should die in the match tomorrow, (which Lily knew there was a very small chance of happening, but still worried her inexplicably), then she was safe in the mind that Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would not be thrown into a state of absolute chaos and anarchy . . . probably.

And she would be able to show the small amount of gratitude that was due to the Head Boy, and it would be made easier by the fact that she would not be there to see him gloating. If she were alive, she was sure she would never be able to live it down.

"Bloody hell, Lilo, I'm half hoping you'll die just so I can tell him and see his face! Ouch!"

* * *

"I have only one thing to say to you people: Go beat some badger arse!"

To tell the truth, Lily was in a bit of a trance as she was herded out of her seat by Sirius and Verity. As the team lined up in pairs just inside the changing rooms, Lily stood in front of everyone next to James, who was peering out onto the pitch and muttering under his breath.

"Cloud cover: none, wind: none to speak of, sunny, firm ground, absence of wildlife: check." Lily was temporarily wrenched out of her daze by his last words.

"Wildlife?" she asked incredulously, briefly contemplating the possibility that the captain may have lost his mind out of nerves.

"Hippogriffs, nineteen sixty-eight World Cup, disaster," James explained, "Took them _ages_ to re-grow the grass."

After that, Lily had no time to be scared skinless because Remus's voice had resounded all around the pitch, leaking into the small corridor where the Gryffindor team where gathered.

"Witches and wizards, boys and girls, creatures of any other category, welcome to Hogwarts' first Quidditch match of the season!"

The sheer volume of the cheer that followed this introduction was massive. The banners and cloths that adorned that stands rippled with the huge wave of sound that the crowd produced, and Lily was sure that absolutely everyone out there was screaming as loud as they possibly could.

"Hmm," Remus said into the microphone, the smile evident in his tone, "is the popularity waning?" Lily heard Sirius snort behind her, "No matter! For I shall introduce the Hufflepuffs! Playing today are Diggory, Myers, Hopkins, Sapper, Ferrous, Dregs and Hurst! Sapper's back on the pitch after his ban last year following some very risqué rumours about his dealings in the Ravenclaw showers."

You wouldn't think it to be an intimidating colour, but at that moment, Lily couldn't think of a more terrifying or vicious shade than canary yellow.

"And today their opponents will be the Gryffindors! A team made up of Potter, Black, Hooch, Tall, Barker, Kipping and Evans! The newest addition to the team being Evans who was discovered at the last minute by Potter after the mad scramble he had to endure at last year's try-outs."

Watching the teams line up opposite each other was so much more nerve-wracking when you were there, opposite the opponents, rather than watching from the stands. Mr Richards, the flying teacher, was refereeing, one real leg, and one wooden leg preparing to kick off from the grass.

Freezing glares were exchanged between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff captains as they were required to shake hands. Lily saw that Diggory's knuckles emerged from the gesture decidedly whiter than before.

"Mount your brooms!" Mr Richards requested, and everybody on the pitch complied. Right then, Lily's brain was a complete blank, only filled with a strange buzzing sound, characteristic of a bad, low watt light bulb.

"There's the whistle!" declared Remus, after the said sound had propelled the crowd into another burst of cheering. "Hufflepuff in possession! Ferrous grabs the Quaffle and makes about twenty yards progress down the pitch, dodges a bludger, passes to Diggory, who skirts round Kipping and darts towards the Gryffindor goals. Diggory's career as a Hogwarts Hufflepuff Chaser is now in it's fifth year, and the role of captain has been his for two."

Just because Remus decided to give the first years some history while nothing drastically interesting was happening on the pitch, Diggory turned to smile at the crowd and took one hand off the Quaffle to wave. Not for the first time, James was thankful for the Hufflepuff Captain's big headedness, and took the opportunity to fly straight up to Diggory, flick the Quaffle out from under his arm and fly off in the opposite direction.

"The Quaffle is taken by Potter, putting Gryffindor in possession! Mind that Bludger!"

James ducked and heard a whistle pass speedily over his head. The Hufflepuff Chasers had ganged up on him while his head was down, quickly, he looked around while they closed in and passed to Verity, who'd sneaked up behind him.

"Potter passes to Hooch, who joined the team four years back and is currently flying on the fifth model in the _Eagle_ series, after discarding her long loyal Silver Arrow, a model rumoured to be facing termination of production."

"Anyway, Hooch nears the Hufflepuff goals, shoots and scores! The first goal of the match goes to Gryffindor, making the score ten-nil."

The red and/or gold banners in the crowd shook with delight as the owners screamed as loud as they could.

"Crickey, don't spend it all at once," Remus told them, in a bit of a shocked voice, "it's not over yet, people."

The Quaffle was back up the end of the pitch near the Gryffindor goals, after the Hufflepuff Keeper had chucked it to one of the Chasers. Taught a lesson by his earlier lapse in concentration, Diggory held onto the Quaffle almost religiously, making it extremely hard for the Gryffindor Chasers to tackle him.

"Diggory guides the Quaffle into the Gryffindor scoring area, shoots . . . and brings the score up to ten all," Remus told the pitch. The yellow and black banners in the crowd waved with renewed vigour.

As soon as Hufflepuff scored, Ainsley passed to Simon who passed to James, who passed to Verity, who passed back to Simon, who passed back to James, who passed it on to Verity. This was one of the more uncommon tactics used by players. Simultaneously, every Hufflepuff Chaser rushed towards Simon, trying to be the one to intercept to Quaffle. The crowd wasn't really surprised when the Quaffle was passed to James instead, who subsequently had a clear shot at the Hufflepuff goals.

"Twenty-ten!" announced Remus into the microphone. "Gryffindor in the lead by one hoop; Hufflepuff will have to come up with something post haste if they want to even it out or tip the scale in their favour. Hopkins in possession . . . Whoa! Just missed a bludger, smacked his way by Barker. Hopkins drops the Quaffle straight into Potter's hands. It was too close the Hufflepuff goals for comfort, Gryffindor up thirty-ten."

Ten minutes later, the score was forty-twenty to the Gryffindors.

Lily was flying high above the game, not really doing anything other than being scared witless. She bit her lip, taking a bit of a break from looking for the Snitch by looking at James playing. James looked like he was comfortable on the pitch, James looked like he belonged on the pitch, James looked like he was _born_ on the pitch for Merlin's sake! She must look like she would rather have just been sucked through the door of one of Gringotts' top security vaults, she imagined.

"Hooch makes her way back up the pitch from the Gryffindor goals, watch out for that bludger! Nope! Nicely saved by Black, smacking that Bludger straight towards . . ."

Breath hissed in through Lily's teeth as she watched the wheeling black ball zip off and hit Mr Richard's leg. For an instant it was not clear to the audience which leg it had hit, then it became apparent that it was the wooden one, because a loud crack was heard through the pitch and a large chunk of wood went spinning off over the stands in an explosion of splinters, leaving only a jagged stump hanging on one side of the flying teacher's broomstick.

"That was a _1936 Vintage Nimbus 100_!" the lamed man bellowed at Sirius, his face growing steadily purpler by the second.

Sirius held up a palm in a mild apology.

"Sorry!" he hollered over the appreciative roar of the crowd.

It may just have seemed that way to James. But he got the distinct feeling that things weren't as willing to go the Gryffindors' way after Mr Richards had sent a startled first year to retrieve his leg from where it had landed of the fringes of the forbidden forest. There was a timeout while he established with Madam Pomfrey that she could not reaffix the baseball bat-like piece of wood.

"Bone, tissue, nerve and skin I can deal with, Mr Richards, _this_ job requires a carpenter!" she dismissed irritably when he persisted in pleading with her.

Before the Gryffindors knew what was happening, it seemed, fouls were given to the Hufflepuffs for the most trivial things, (such as Simon waving to his girlfriend in the crowd or James being close enough to Lily to be able to tip the end of her broom down because she was about to be hit by a Bludger).

Soon, the score went from a comforting forty-twenty to a distressing ninety-fifty to the Hufflepuffs.

James was beginning to worry. This was a Quidditch player's worst nightmare. You could do nothing to combat a biased referee, and arguing would probably make it a lot worse. He hardly blamed Mr Richards for being slightly pissed off about losing a valuable classic broomstick, but who in their right mind would have their synthetic leg made out of such a valuable wood, then go flying around, refereeing Quidditch matches with it?

As he had been doing at intervals throughout the match, he cast an eye around for Lily, just to make sure she was all right.

Oh Merlin.

To make matters worse, it looked as if Lily had frozen stiff . . . either that or she just wasn't moving. James panicked, not being able to fathom what could be wrong. She was staring at a little point someplace in the distance and James quickly flew over to her.

"Lilo? Lil? Are you all right, what's wrong?"

"Sh!" she hissed angrily out of the side of her mouth. James followed her line of vision and saw she was looking avidly at the Hufflepuff Seeker.

"What in the name of Zonko's are you doing staring at Hurst?" asked James a little anxiously.

"Isn't he dreamy?" Lily hissed, a cruel smile tugging at the edge of he lips.

"**_What_**?" demanded James.

"I'm joking, you pillock! I'm not staring at him! I'm waiting!"

"What for?" asked James, baffled and a little relieved.

"I'm waiting for you to go and do your job and leave me to do mine!" Lily hissed furiously, still refusing to look at him. James was just about to take her advice, when he glanced back at the Hufflepuff Seeker, who had spotted Lily and her ardent attention, and was looking a little disturbed by it.

Hurst started to fly forward to escape Lily's piercing stare and that was when James saw it - the golden Snitch. It had been hovering just behind the Hufflepuff's head and as soon as Hurst had moved an eighth of an inch, Lily had shot forward at an alarming speed.

Consider, if you will, what it must be like to have a five foot three and a half redhead on a broomstick come speeding towards you at eighty miles an hour. It was hardly surprising that Hurst did twice that speed in the opposite direction. Or course, he was also doing twice that speed away from the Snitch.

Who do you think won the game?

* * *

"You know, mate?" Sirius slung an arm around James's shoulder and breathed something that smelled strongly of Ogden's in his ear. "You may be Head Boy, out of our dorm, all responsible and all that bollocks, but I believe this is the best party we have ever had within the walls of the Gryffindor common room."

James sniggered at the sight of his best friend, who was a little under the border of the term: 'completely plastered'.

"I think you're right, Padfoot," James agreed, noticing his friend had gone a bit purple in the face. "Here, are you all right? I think you need to sit down."

"Nah, I'm _fine_, what are you talking about?" Sirius asked incredulously, having the odd sensation that his feet were made out of Strawberry Jelly. "I don't need to sit . . ."James watched as his friend spotted a pretty sixth year girl sitting on the edge of her circle of friends with an empty arm chair beside her. Sirius paused. "Actually, to tell you the truth, I _do_ feel a bit squiffy . . ."

Once he had deposited Sirius in the afore-mentioned armchair, James continued his former search for his star player. Casting around for the shock of dark red, he spotted Lily making her way towards the Portrait Hole.

"Oi! Lily! Lilo! Wait!"

She turned to see him battling his way through his fellow Gryffindors, all of whom seemed intent on either shaking his hand, patting him on the back or challenging him to a Butterbeer drinking contest. She opened the Portrait Hole and stepped out, and James was struck by how much of an improvement this was. Usually she'd be just starting to run.

Finally, he reached the Portrait Hole and scrambled through, (damn entrance was just too undignified for anybody over five foot eleven).

"Yes, what is it?" she asked, a strange, superior smile on her face.

"Er . . . I just wanted to say . . . well done," James said, following when she started down the corridor. "Where are you off to? There's a party just in the next room, if you hadn't noticed," he teased, grinning.

"I have to get up early tomorrow, early meeting with Madam Pince," she explained.

_What an unnerving conversation_, thought James, Lily was talking to him as though she were talking to Verity. A few moments later he decided it was very nice. She still had an odd, happy smile on her face.

"Well, I . . . I'm tired as well, so . . ." James began.

"Potter, it's half past nine, it's Sunday tomorrow, and there's a party just in the next room, if you hadn't noticed," Lily replied incredulously.

"Yes, but . . . well . . . I want to walk back with you," he admitted good-naturedly, "so you'll just have to put up with me for the next . . . ten minutes," he smiled, checking his watch.

Not many boys Lily knew would admit something like that. James seemed to be a lot more lenient with his dignity these days. _Probably because you often have a go at shooting it to pieces,_ Lily told herself, smiling ruefully.

"Merlin, Lilo, when I say something like that, I hardly expect you to smile!" he laughed.

"You didn't think I could do it, did you?" she challenged smugly, stopping in the corridor they were currently walking down.

"Do what, Lil? Smile? Well, at one point during fifth year I really did wonder . . ."

"No, catch the Snitch, you twit!" she corrected, giving him a light smack on the arm. "You didn't think I could do it! That's why you got all worried the moment I looked as though I was about to loose it."

James stared at her for a moment. Lily stared straight back, smiling smugly. Then James made only a short 'tisk' noise and carried on down the corridor. Lily's smile vanished and she started after him, baffled at the sight of a smile now in place on the Head Boy's lips.

"Well?" she demanded.

"Not up to your usual logical standard, Lilo," James told her, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"Whot?" she said, very unladylike.

"If I didn't think you could do it, why would I put you on the team? Unlike Zabini so elegantly put it, it is not 'just because I want to get off with you', it's because you really _can_ do it. And you proved it this very afternoon."

Lily gaped and didn't even notice when they arrived in front if the Heads' Dorms.

"After you," James said, after reeling off the password and opening the door. Lily wasn't showing any inclination to actually move, so James gently pushed her through the door, across the hall and positioned her in front of the door to her staircase.

"What I wanted to say back there was that you did a very good job," James told her earnestly. "I suppose it's hard to believe I think that, because I also give you daily proof that I like you very much indeed . . ." Lily stared at the wood of her door, trying to figure out what it was in his voice. "But I suppose you'll just have to trust me on that one," he said, maybe a little apologetically. "Good night, Lily," he said, and leaned down to peck her on the cheek.

Next second he had disappeared back through the entrance, and Lily, like a sleepwalker, had entered her own room with a jolt.

So it turned out that he didn't think her completely incompetent in the field of Quidditch after all. _He obviously doesn't like you enough to endanger his Quidditch team_, she thought decidedly (and completely wrongly, for reader purposes).

However, he _had_ kissed her, she realised, and had the urge to curse him for touching her.

Oh well, she thought, un-strapping her arm pads, she'd do it tomorrow.

* * *

**a/n **Thank you to everyone who wished me luck for my exams! Apparently it worked because the Chemistry exam, the one I was dreading, wasn't actually that bad. Exams began yesterday and will finish a week on Tuesday. I thought I'd get this one update in that I was thinking about just before I went to Florida and typed up in record time. For this reason, it might be a bit crap.

Please review. It cheers me up and combats exam syndrome. Thank you.

**Tsusetsu**: Well, I dunno what else to say. Good luck with whatever you end up doing.

**limbo-gal**: Wow, thanks for you nice comments on the whole Lily/Amos thang. Yes, Lily was relatively cool about it, wasn't she? I wonder why that is? Heehee.

**MissMrprk**: Merci, ma cherie. (I don't even know whether that was right.)

**Tracey**: Flight was 9 hours there, and 7 back. Urrrrggggg. Life would be so much easier if I could sleep on planes. Nevermind. You were right. The weather was beautiful. Thank you for your nice comments about my stories. Yay! And yes, Lily is beginning to think about taking her heart out of the freezer.

**helloshanti2**: Heehee, you and me both, honey.

**Flame Of Desire**: James should have his own theme music when he goes to the rescue. Now, _that_ would be cool.

**shortywithbrains**: What's so funny about the word 'hanky'? I got this _all the time_ in Florida. People were always like: 'Oh, isn't her accent _delightful?_'. I thought the novelty would wear off, but it didn't. Grr. There was a tiny bit of hurricane damage in Disney, (I heard,) but they fixed it. Obviously, they knew I was coming. :D

**FrighteninglyObsessed**: I tried to give Sirius and Remus a bit more floor time, such as you suggested, but NO! I flatly refuse to put my pen (or keyboard) near the twisted inner workings of Diggory. That's where I draw the line, buddy. Ew. Thank you for you compliments, though. I luff you really.

**SnakeEyesHannah**: You are so very, very flattering, with such nice comments. I had that song in my head for a long time too. So I put it in the story to get rid of it. Worked a treat. :D Let's hope Lily _does_ come around, otherwise all of James's efforts would be a bit of a waste, hm? I like that little exchange in the pub too. Heehee. Fear not. Tall will be appearing more in the fic, and so will his hair. Thanks again for the fabulous review.

**Red-Emerald**: ARRRGGG!! Damn typos! They're everywhere! They _plague me!_ Thank you muchly for pointing it out. I can't believe it's been there for so long. Practice papers of any kind are brutal, just like the ones I will be taking for the next two weeks. (Sigh.) Score.

**Shuichi66**: Thank you much, luff.

**Downstream Kat**: No problem, I like drawing. Keep reading!

**soccerchic1989**: I was in Fort Lauderdale for a bit. Then I went to Oralndo. How did your exams go? I suspect it seems like a very long time ago now. Anyway, thank you very much for the review and I hope your holidays were happy.

**ebony-plays-the-viola**: Gosh, celebrate Christmas? What a bummer. :D Maybe Lily is out of character, but she can't be mean all the time, right? I love hearing nice stuff about me. It doesn't happen often enough, if you ask me. :D

**kaiyana**: fantastically IS a word! And your review was fantastically flattering and nice. Thank you very much.

**Call-Sugarhigh-Police**: NO, YOU CAN'T! YES, I CAN! NO, YOU CAN'T! YES, I CAN! NO, YOU CAN'T! YES, I CAN. YES, I CAN. YES, I CAN!!! (cough) Sorry.

**mika-mitch**: Sure, laugh at James. Be my guest, he doesn't seem to mind it so much any more. Yes, about the whole pranking thang. The school would know that she and Amos broke up because stuff gets around at Hogwarts. Lily was over reacting because she's not really mad at James, she's mad at Amos, but can't seem to get it all sorted out in her head. Poor dear.

**LJstagflower4e**: Wow, nice character commentary. Respect.

**kat-firefly**: Thank you, luff.

**milky way bar**: Thank you, I'll need the luck. (Mwah)

**geckaclark**: Yeah, Amos deserved it. (Blows raspberry)

**charbar**: Heya. Good holidays? I hope you're not revising. I haven't been.

**foxyie xox**: But it was crying in a good way! And he didn't mean to! And he gave her his hanky!

**Anne-Janet**: Ah, Christmas music. Hoorah. I want it to be Christmas all over again.

**She-Who-Snogs-Weasly-Boys**: You have the coolest name ever.

**The ORIGINAL Meathead**: Yes . . . Rita Skeeter is MAD. Be afraid, be very afraid. :D

**She Devil**: I really hope she kicks Rita's hiney too. Go, Lily!

**vickiicky**: If your family look at you weird, I think that's pretty normal. It's if they look at you like you're normal, that's when you should worry.

**Laney-Wood**: Urg, no, thank you, one sibling is quite enough. Although yours sound cute. Thank you very much for the review!

**warrior of tortall**: Thanks, luff.

**Victoria87**: Wow, you've pointed out so many things that I was doing, but that I didn't even notice that I was doing, if that makes sense. You're so completely right. Go you! I love your war cry. (Sniff.) All the house-spirited little Quidditch fans make me so proud. As for your story: why don't you try writing a one shot? That often gets me going again.

**Telwyn Dubois**: At least wait until the story is over before you kill off my characters! . . . Oh, to hell with it. (Joins in bashing Rita's head). I'm stupid, please tell me what RS is. You probably don't mean religious studies.

**Lyss**: Lol, thank you so much. Keep reading!

**breziebear**; Haha! Don't worry, if they had kissed, I would have definitely told you. Wanna hear a secret? Well, let's just say their first kiss won't be what you expect at all. (Sniggers to herself).

**Lastly: **

**h t t p : w w w . o w h . n e t / **(delete spaces)

Just click one of the buttons, there's a good chap.

**Next Chappy:**

I know Christmas is officially over, but not in MY story! Hell, in fandom, it's Christmas _every day! _

James gets out his binoculars and does some stalking. Lily gets out her minions and does some avoiding.

The lake is frozen. What do we do? Push people on it, of course!


	8. Avoiding Stalkers

**Eight – Avoiding Stalkers . . . **

It seemed that, as Head Girl, your duties and authority were abruptly deemed 'void' as of seven in the morning on the last day before the Christmas holidays.

On her way to breakfast with Verity that morning, Lily had to stick out an arm to stop her friend from walking into a snowdrift that had randomly appeared in the second floor corridor, courtesy of some Hufflepuff third years.

"Mind yourself," Lily warned, as another, less lucky, prefect slipped and went flying. Verity pulled a pained face, craning to peer behind herself.

"Ouch," she commented, "you all right, Lily? Yesterday, you'd be hunting down the poor sods that did this and exercising extreme punishment. What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing's gotten into me, Veri," Lily replied casually, stepping over the snowdrift and continuing down the corridor, "it's Christmas, and I simply cannot be arsed." Verity regarded her for a moment before shrugging.

"Fair enough," she said, and pushed open the doors to the Great Hall.

The scene that they were met with was an extremely strange one. The entire population of Hogwarts seemed to be turned around in their chairs, watching something. That something turned out to be the Marauders, which didn't surprise Lily in the slightest. They were all standing on the Gryffindor table, all in Santa hats and Sirius holding a lantern. Remus was holding up his wand and charming red and gold sparkly words above them.

The vast majority of the Hall were in hysterics. Most of the teachers were regarding the scene with either cool detachment or badly hidden amusement.

"What the-" Lily only had time to utter, before James shouted from the table.

"All together for the last verse!"

And the entire hall began to sing:

_"On the twelfth day of Christmas, I got confiscated from me:_

_Twelve Cheatfast quills,_

_Eleven juggling rats,_

_Ten exploding ink bottles,_

_Nine shaving hats, _

_Eight loaded dice,_

_Seven Wet-start Fireworks,_

_Six screaming yoyos . . ."_

By this time Lily's mouth was half hanging open, half curled into a smile. She laughed outright as every student in the Hall took a united deep breath and belted out the next line for all it was worth.

_"**Five . . . live . . . gnomes!**_

_Four sugar quills,_

_Three dungbombs, _

_Two purple toads,"_

James, who had been nodding his head for the duration of the song, now raised his arms and began to conduct the last line with great sweeps for every grand, finalistic syllable.

_"**And a si-i-ix pack of **_**_Ogden_****_'s Whi-i-i-iske-e-ey_**"

At the last note, the Hall burst into applause and cheering, some of the students (mostly Gryffindors) giving standing ovations, as the Marauders gave multiple bows and began to step down from their briefly-used stage.

"Thank you, Hogwarts, you've been marvellous," James saluted the crowd, before hopping off after Peter.

After discarding his hat and sitting down at his unofficial place, James cleared his throat.

"And now for some breakfast!"

"I agree," Sirius said, slapping the table, "pass the eggs! . . . Prongs? Prongs?"

Sirius was beginning to worry that his best friend's face had gone a little whiter than it usually was. He then realised the reason was that one Head Girl had sat down next to him, straight across from James.

"Lilo!" exclaimed James, hastily, "I suppose you'll be wanting an explanation. Er . . . see, the thing is . . ."

"It's Christmas," Lily said, cutting him off, "so I will not be disembowelling you."

James picked up a napkin from the table and pretended to mop his brow.

"Well, that's a relief," he said, "yes, I see how that would defeat the whole 'season of goodwill' mood."

"Which you seem to be contributing to without a problem," Lily commented, dipping her knife into the marmalade.

"Well, I heard musicians always get the girl, so I thought, why not give it try?"

"James," Verity warned him, "don't push it."

"So, er, where are we all going this Christmas?" Sirius asked, recognising the infamous battle-look beginning to creep into Lily's eyes.

"Columbia," Peter said.

"You lucky bugger," Sirius said, poking Peter with a fork.

"Spain," Verity told him.

"Ooo, very nice," James said.

"I'll say," Sirius added, "ice cream, dancing, tapas . . ." he leaned in with a conspiring smirk, "Spanish Quidditch players," he said, making Remus go very faintly red.

"You going home, Lilo?" James asked, before spooning yoghurt into his mouth. Lily remembered a time all too well when he had absolutely no problem talking through whatever food happened to be in his mouth. Unfortunately, her mother had not let her burn the ketchup stains off her school shirt. Fortunately, he now seemed to have gotten some halfway decent manners. Five years ago for instance, he had those of a fish.

"Stop calling me that," Lily growled, "and no, I am not going home, not with the newlyweds still anywhere near there. There isn't always a bucket handy. I'm staying at Hogwarts, thanks."

"Well, my family's going to Australia," James said. He smirked when he heard something come out of Lily that sounded a lot like 'Thank Merlin.' "But I'm staying here."

"Whot?" cried Lily, accidentally knocking over a glass of pumpkin juice. James pulled his wand out and took care of the mess before replying.

"I said I'm staying here. Last year at Hogwarts, don't want to miss anything." Lily turned her horrified face to Sirius and Remus.

"And you two?" she asked, dread etched on her face.

"Same," Remus said, amused.

"I'm-a gonna say-a," Sirius said, in an Italian accent, "same."

"Oh, holy hippogriffs," Lily muttered, eye wide as Verity sniggered into her sugared cereal.

"Come on, Lilo," James said, "it'll be fab. We'll fix you up with a Santa hat, and you can even out our numbers for a snowball fight."

"I'd rather run all the way down to Brighton," Lily replied.

"Really? I'll go with you!" James said, smiling.

"Or maybe I'll make it the Cliffs of Dover so I can throw myself off one of them," Lily said.

"Really? I'll jump with you!" James said, smiling.

Lily's forehead made a nasty 'bang' sound as it connected with the table.

"Oh, Magic Muffins, will I never be rid of this pillock?"

"I'm-a gonna say-a," Sirius said, "no."

* * *

For the run up week to Christmas, Lily had managed to stay reasonably out of the three Marauders' way, with a little help from the house elves and the remaining students at Hogwarts.

A lot of them owed her a favour, were secretly wishing for a date, or were susceptible to blackmail, so what she had asked most of them to do, was to walk ten paces in front of her whenever she felt brave enough to venture out of her dorm, and warn her whenever James was within a thirty metre radius. Then, she would scurry back to the safety of her room and pretend she wasn't there, even though James had an extraordinary way of knowing exactly where she was at any given moment, even without that funny old piece of parchment. Although, of course, Lily didn't know exactly what it did.

One such time when she had to make a break for it back up her staircase was on Christmas Day. Lily had heard that the Christmas dinner at Hogwarts was enough to make you drool a volume of liquid that would fill the Pacific, and she was looking forward to it immensely. She had also heard that everyone sat at the same table because there were so few people. Maybe she would be able to get a seat as far away as possible from Potter.

So, on Christmas Day, she slept in late, and skipped down her staircase at around ten minutes to four in the afternoon, just in time for the late lunch.

As she had been doing for the past week, she whipped out her wand and drew a circle of transparency only detectable to her in the door that led from her staircase to the Heads' Common Room. Her heart sank.

Potter was sitting in the Common Room, sprawled out on one of the purple sofas, long limbs everywhere, reading something on a piece of parchment. Lily slid down the wall, bringing the see-through circle down with her. He'd probably move to go down to lunch soon. She'd wait until then to go down after him, and with any luck, he'd already be seated so she could avoid sitting next to him.

Good Goblins, Lily thought, she'd gladly don armed forces camouflage attire, paint her face green, and complete a military stealth course if it meant she'd be able to avoid him.

Unbeknownst to her, James knew exactly where she was, because the parchment in his hand was none other than the Marauders' Map. He sighed, because he knew she was avoiding him. Well, she had to come out sometime, or else she'd starve to death, and James didn't think she'd go _that _far just to stay out of his way.

It was a standoff.

He discarded the parchment on the coffee table, stretched leisurely before putting his hands behind his head and preparing for a wait.

Lily sighed.

Her head was leaning against the stones, her eyes looking out of the circular window at the reclined form of the Head Boy just outside the door. Thank Merlin she had changed the password from _Pruning Petunias_ to _Dursley Is A Dipstick_.

_He'll go soon_, she thought to herself, _he can't stay out there for ever._

But he didn't get up. He simply sat there, glancing at the door she was sat behind every once in while, and Lily had the strangest feeling he knew exactly where she was. She knew he was looking because, every once in a while, she would get a flash of hazel on the background of his pale face.

_He'll get up before I count to a hundred,_ she thought,_ definitely._

He really was very good looking. The light was coming through the high window in the Heads' Common room and showing her the handsome angles of his face. When she thought about it, it was hardly surprising that almost the entire female (and some of the male) population of Hogwarts fainted when he smiled in their general direction. If he actually expressed a genuine interest in anyone other than herself, she thought, then she suspected Madam Pomfrey might have a lot of comatose students on her hands.

_He'll go before I count to five hundred,_ she thought.

Why was he even waiting for her this long? She asked herself. Not just outside her door, at that moment, but . . . generally. She knew of ants less determined to get at her mother's picnic baskets than James was to get her to go out with him.

Maybe it was a pride thing. He probably thought he would look a right fool if he gave up without getting what he wanted. It would certainly be fitting to his character, she thought.

_Backwards, he'll go before I count backwards from five hundred. _

If he weren't such a prick, she thought, she may have actually considered going out with him. Because, if he weren't a prick, he'd be nice, and as well as being nice, he'd be funny, talented, athletic and good-looking.

Who wouldn't want to go out with someone like that?

Too bad he was a prick then, she thought. It was like in thirty mark exam essays, if you didn't get the basic points down, but you wrote down all the detail nevertheless, then you still didn't get any marks at all. The professors warned them about that every single year. James was funny, talented, athletic and good-looking, but because he was a prick, he simply didn't get any marks.

Lily checked her watch. Nine o'clock. She'd been sat there, daydreaming, and staring at James Potter, for over five hours.

_In French_, she sighed to herself._ He will get up and go down to dinner, before I count from . . . a thousand . . . backwards . . . in French._

But she had only just gotten through the '_neuf__ cent_'s' and down to '_hiut__ cent cinquante-six_' when she fell asleep.

* * *

James woke up slowly when he heard a creaking of the floorboards beneath the purple rug on the floor.

Silently, he readjusted his glasses, from where they had been tipped askew in his sleep and spotted the Head Girl trying to make her way stealthily past the sofa he was sprawled on.

"Aha!" he muttered sleepily, shifting and trying to collect his wits. Lily froze. Bugger! She'd woken up around ten minutes ago, with absolutely no feeling in her legs whatsoever and absolutely too much empty space in her stomach, and seen with delight that the wanker was asleep!

Damn Potter and his bizarre, Lily-seeking radar, damn and blast them!

She released a frustrated sigh and turned to towards the boy on the sofa, struggling to arrange his limbs into some position that would enable him to stand up.

"What do you want?" she asked, irritably.

"Aha!" James said again, clearly half asleep but waking up fast.

"**_Why_**_ are you **stalking** me!?_" Lily demanded, waving her hands around near her shoulders. James managed to stand up at last.

"I'm not stalking you, Lilo," he said calmly.

"_Excuse me_," Lily said furiously, "you sat outside my room for over five hours and then fell asleep instead of going downstairs to eat, like a normal person! If those activities don't qualify as stalking, I don't know what does."

"Well, yes, fine," James admitted with a smile, "I may have temporarily taken on some vague, stalker-like tendencies, but you can hardly blame me, Lilo!"

"Au contraire," Lily said, because counting in French had taken its toll on her sleep and food-starved mind. "I can blame you entirely, Mr Potter, and I am fully intending to do so!"

"Well, _you've_ been avoiding me," James replied fairly.

"I have not been avoiding you," Lily lied.

"_Excuse me,_" James imitated, "we are in the same house, we are Head Girl and Boy, we live in the same dorm and yet I haven't seen you for an entire week. If those activities don't qualify as avoiding me, I don't know what does."

"You are infuriating beyond belief," Lily accused him.

"Only because you don't like me," James said.

"And why don't I like you?" Lily asked rhetorically, "because you are infuriating beyond belief!" James smiled, only infuriating Lily further.

"I sense a vicious circle coming on," he said breezily. "Oh, look, it's snowing." He jogged past her and reached the wooden staircase to the bookcase balcony and started climbing towards the large window that showed flakes of snowfall hurrying past the glass.

"What?" Lily demanded, stomping after him.

"It's snowing," James repeated, "you know, the floaty white stuff that comes from the sky? Looks a bit like David Maple's dandruff."

Lily's mouth twitched upwards for a split second, and she released a single breath of laughter as the two of them arrived at the window. Then, she tried to make it look like a moody laugh by going,

"So?" in a cynical voice.

"So, let's go outside!" James said excitedly, his hands spreading condensation on the glass as he peered out into the grounds.

"No!" Lily refused.

"Why not?" he said, smiling.

"Because: I'm hungry, it's freezing . . ." she trailed off for a moment, "and I hate you."

"If you're hungry, we could pay a visit to the kitchens," James offered.

"No!" Lily refused, just for the sake of being difficult, when in truth, she quite fancied the idea.

"Why not?" James said, still smiling.

"Because . . . we might get caught."

James grinned and raised his index finger to tap Lily on the nose.

"Wait here," he told her, and rushed down the stairs to the floor and up his own staircase.

Lily sighed as she sank down onto the window ledge and looked out into the blizzard outside. It was beginning to lessen now. The flakes were beginning to slow down their rush in mad directions and simply floated gently downwards to the fluffy, white grounds.

_Beautiful_, she thought. Wouldn't it be nice to go outside? Even if it was with Potter?

She heard him climb back up the stairs and turned to see him carrying something silvery and silky.

"Surprise," he grinned, holding it out to her. She frowned as she reached out to touch it. It felt just like it looked.

"This isn't . . .?" she asked, looking up at his grinning face.

"It is," James nodded. Lily laughed and leaned back against the window.

"An invisibility cloak," she said, "I should have known."

"So," James said, "we're hungry, yes? Are you in or are you out?"

Lily looked back out of the window for a moment, then she looked up at the Head Boy. There was a strange look on his face; it was like the tone in his voice that day he had kissed her cheek after the Quidditch match.

"I'm in."

* * *

James could not remember ever being so close to Lily in his life. With his being quite tall, they had to walk extremely close together to avoid giving the impression that two pairs of feet were walking around the castle of their own accord. Although personally, James didn't see what was so wrong with that image. Stranger things had happened in the castle, most of them from his own creation.

Still, he revelled in the warmth that seeped between them, and the feel of her hair when a stray lock played on his neck.

Although, with all the above things to contemplate, it was hard to focus on not tripping over the small red head in front of him.

Lily sighed. Potter kept stepping on the backs of her heals. She supposed it wasn't his fault, because even though the cloak was bigger than it looked, Potter was still too tall for his own good. No, that wasn't fair. Just because she was a short-arse, didn't give her the right to be bitter.

They arrived at a painting of a bowl of fruit, James tickled the pear, and Lily watched in mild interest as the giggling fruit transformed into the door handle, which James used to push open a door in the wall. He then swept the invisibility cloak off himself and Lily, and pushed her inside.

Within five minutes, they were settled on the floor on a thick blanket, surrounded by house elves, scampering around, serving what must have been every morsel food they had left over from the Christmas lunch.

"This is extraordinary," Lily said, watching as Hogwarts crested tea towels flapped in the wind as the elves hurried to and fro.

"Isn't it?" grinned James. "See those massive tables there? They set the food on those before every meal, and then all the food goes up to the tables in the Great Hall, because they're in the same position."

"How do you know that?" Lily asked.

"Well," the Head Boy smiled, "the Marauders and I may have had an extensive interest in experimenting with various magical chemicals in the Slytherins' food."

"I repeat James, why are you here and what have you done with the real Head Boy?" James laughed as an individual elf detached itself from the tornado and bowed to Lily.

"Drink, Miss Head Girl Lily?" it squeaked regally, which Lily didn't think was possible.

"Oh! Er . . ." she said, glancing back at James, who nodded slightly. "Would you have any tea?"

"Miss Head Girl Lily must choose," the elf said, whom Lily was beginning to suspect was female. "We make Earl Grey, camomile, green, rose petal, fennel, Malaysian, Japanese, Turkish . . ."

The list went on to mention around sixty-eight types of tea, some of which Lily was sure were not even available to the muggle or magical public at large. In the end she chose green and James chose Earl Grey, and two teapots were delivered, steaming and accompanied by milk and sugar for James and honey for Lily.

Lily watched the leaves in her green tea dance around on the surface for a moment, then sink gracefully to the bottom like tired helium balloons. She contemplated the oddness of her situation. She was sitting in the Hogwarts kitchens, having missed Christmas lunch because Potter was stalking her, having a picnic in the middle of winter with said stalker, _and_ to make the situation even stranger, she was actually having quite a good time of it.

She tipped over onto the blanket and leaned on her elbow, crunching a stick of carrot.

Potter was staring at her.

"What?" she asked, devouring the stick and taking a sip of tea. James seemed to snap out of his daydream and shook his head a little, making his glasses slip down his nose a little.

"Nothing," he said.

"Oh, you can't do that!" Lily said. "Now it'll be bothering me for the rest of the week!"

"I was just thinking," James said, shrugging, "that you are very pretty." Almost immediately after the words had exited his mouth, he found the end of Lily's wand pointing at him straight between the eyes.

"Potter," she said dangerously, "if this is another tactic to get me to go out with you . . ."

"It's not,' James insisted, although he had raised his hands to the gesture that was universally translated as 'Don't shoot, I have a wife and two kids.' "I'm just saying, genuinely, completely honestly, without any particular purpose or ulterior motive or anything like that . . . that you are very pretty."

All through this speech, Lily's wand had slowly lowered. She took a sip of tea to hide the fact that she had felt herself blushing.

_Great Scott_, James thought, if she was going to be like this every time he said he thought she was pretty, he may consider thinking about not doing it again. Although, she had gone a nice shade of red, which was more then enough reason to keep doing it.

Soon, they were both full of food, but they had barely made a tiny dent in the spread that had been laid out for them by the diligent house elves. The Head students stood up and refused any more food on the grounds that they may explode.

"Yum," James commented as the door to the kitchens shut behind then, and the door handle morphed back into a pear.

Lily hummed softly in agreement before she could think better of it, and together, they set off back towards the Heads' Dorms.

Because they were on one of the lowest floors of the castle, the view across the grounds was spectacular. Lily stopped walking to stare out of one of the windows, spotting the tiny structure of Hagrid's cabin, iced with snow like a cake.

"Let's go outside," James bent down and whispered in her ear. She fought not to shiver.

"We can't," she said.

"Why not?" he asked with a quiet smile. Lily glanced at him and the edge of her mouth twitched. _Why not indeed?_

* * *

The Great Doors of Hogwarts shut with an almighty creak behind them as their breath rose in clouds in front of their faces.

Lily took a deep breath of freezing air and smiled. It really was beautiful.

She turned to James and grinned.

"Last one to the lake is Snape's girlfriend."

"Hey!" James exclaimed, scandalized, as Lily zipped off through the snow towards the lake, he started after her, but she had a big lead and she was already laughing at him as he arrived, puffing, on the snowy edge of the frozen water.

"That was _not_ fair!" he declared, hiding the grin that was fighting to jump onto his face. Lily put her hands on her hips.

"Why? Are you denying your undying love for Snape?" she teased.

"No!" James said, disgusted, before realising the implications of his words. "I mean . . ."

"Oh, I always knew you'd make a lovely couple," Lily grinned, then she squealed as James pushed her and she slipped onto the frozen lake.

Miraculously, she managed to stay upright with a lot of arm flailing.

"Potter!" she cried, although there was a smile on her face. "Don't _do_ that!"

"What? This?" asked James, leaning over and pushing her further out into the lake. Lily cursed her flat ballet pumps for not having grip on the bottom. She tried to wobble her way over to the edge again, but slipped straight over and landed on her arse.

"Whoops!" James cringed, "are you all right, Lilo?"

"Potte-e-er-r-r-r," Lily whined, a pitiful expression her face. James felt his stomach sink as he knelt on the snowy grass and reached out a hand towards her.

Quick as a flash, Lily had grabbed his hands with both her own, and tugged sharply. James yelled as he was pulled clean off the bank, and collided straight into Lily, sliding them both even further into the middle of the lake. Somehow, he ended up on top of her, their legs tangled.

"Sorry," he said, almost as fast as he shifted for fear of getting on her wrong side.

But she just laughed her head off.

He began to laugh too as she tried to sit up, still giggling.

"I can't believe you fell for that!" she told him, "and you, the king of practical jokes!"

"Let's just say, I wasn't expecting it from you," James grinned, as their laughter faded. Lily gazed around at the vast expanse of frozen water between them and the bank of the lake.

"What are we going to do now?" she asked.

_I have to convince her that we're on the same team._

James didn't have a clue how or why his words at the beginning of term had come back to haunt him so strangely, but a moment later, it hit him!

This was his chance!

"We're going to have to tackle this together," he said. Already, plans, strategies and tactics were going off in the Head Boy's brain like fireworks, (being Captain of Quidditch did these things to you).

"And how do you propose we do that, Potter?" Lily asked.

"Well, we can safely assume that I'm heavier than you, right?"

"We can."

"And, I mean, it's not that far, I could probably push you to the bank."

"You could."

"Right, here we go then."

"Whoa! Wait! Potter! Don't –! Wa-a-ah!"

Before Lily knew it, she was sliding quite fast across the surface of the lake as a result of a sharp push from James.

"Oof!" she said, as she came into contact with the bank. "You're lucky that worked, Potter," she muttered darkly, grabbing a hold of some bank-side weeds to aid her in the bid of pulling herself off the ice. James gave a whoop of delight.

"Brilliant!" he exclaimed, still stranded out on the ice. It took Lily less than a hundredth of a second to catch on to what a nice situation she now found herself in. With Potter at her mercy, marooned on his island of ice, she could just simply walk away and leave him there. How sweet revenge tasted. That would teach him to make her miss Christmas lunch by way of stalking.

"So, would you mind pulling me in?" asked James from the lake. Lily folded her arms across her chest and tilted her head to the side, smirking.

"Quite honestly, Potter," she said, conversationally, "I don't know if I will."

"Har-de-har-har," grinned James, not looking at all worried. "Seriously Lilo, my arse is getting a bit cold here."

"I would be grateful if you would keep your newsflashes about your arse to yourself, Potter," Lily said, "and to punish you for calling me that ridiculous name, I think I shall leave you out here all night . . . maybe even all of Boxing Day as well, depends if I can be bothered to get out of bed tomorrow."

"Er . . . Lily," James said, looking downwards, "I don't mean to worry you, but I distinctly heard a crack."

"Yeah, right," laughed Lily. "Nice try, James, but you're not going to get round me that way."

"No, Lily, for once in my life, I'm not mucking about. This ice is cracking underneath me." Lily faltered.

" . . . R-really?" she stammered.

"Definitely," nodded James, his voice a little worried by now. "Here, pass me that branch, yeah, that long one, there . . ."

He was cut off, however, by the fact that the ice beneath him _did_ crack. Before he knew it, he was sinking, and then, about three seconds after he had plunged into the water below the ice, the coldness hit him. It was freezing beyond anything he'd ever felt before. Not even if he were a plucked chicken in a muggle freezer, he thought, would he feel this cold.

"Oh, bloody hell!" gasped Lily, as James vanished under the ice. She grabbed the branch she had meant to pick up, and rushed towards the frozen lake.

James was having trouble staying above water level. Whenever he tried to grab onto the ice, it only snapped off in his hands and sunk under his weight. Suddenly, something hard rapped him on the head, and he instinctively grabbed onto it.

"Whoa!" Lily yelled, as James's weight pulled her forward a little. She steadied herself by grabbing the branch of a tree on the bank and planting her feet firmly on the ground. Then, she pulled.

James cracked a path through the ice as he was pulled towards the bank. When it got too thick to break, he had to scramble on top of it until the branch deposited him off onto the snowy grass. He was so cold, it felt as if his blood had frozen and had stopped giving oxygen to his brain. His vision went foggy and he found he couldn't move his limbs.

"James, are you all right? James? James?" Lily grew a bit panicked when he didn't reply. He had probably gotten hypothermia and was going to die! It was when she was rubbing her hands over his chest to get his heart warmed up that she realised he wasn't breathing.

Without hesitation, she pinched his nose, opened his mouth and clamped her own over his faintly blue lips. Before she could start breathing the breath of life back into his lungs however, she felt him move. Moreover, she felt his lips move and his hand come up to touch her face.

He was kissing her!

Like a shot, she jumped backwards onto the snow as James sat up and blinked.

"Potter!" she exclaimed, "what do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

"Me?" he said, "You're the one who kissed me! Not that I'm complaining, mind, quite the opposite actually."

"You were dead!" Lily accused him, "as much as I wouldn't never kiss you whilst you're alive, I would kiss you even _less_ when you were unconscious! I was _trying_ to get you breathing again!" Realisation dawned on James's face.

"Oh," he said slowly, "is that what muggles do?"

"Yes, that's what muggles do, Potter," Lily said furiously, "it's called mouth to mouth resuscitation!"

"Oh," James smiled, "and there was me thinking that muggles just went around randomly kissing innocently unconscious people, but this makes a lot more sense . . . Well, I must say that this mouth to mouth resuscitation of yours was very nice." Lily gave him an exasperated look and put a hand to her forehead.

"Good grief," she muttered in a defeated voice.

What worried her was that she sort of agreed. Kissing, or rather, performing mouth to mouth resuscitation on James Potter was very nice. What would it be like, she wondered, when his lips weren't blue with cold and he was fully conscious?

"Lily?" James said, his teeth chattering, "do you mind if we go inside? Only I'm a bit cold." Lily looked at him and laughed a little.

"Come on," she said, helping him up, and they started through the snow back towards the castle.

"How can you kiss someone less than never?" asked James, curiously.

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

**a/n **Hoorah! Exams were officially over as of yesterday and now I am free! Free for a whole . . . four months! Urg, never mind.

Also, I am now 16! As of last Monday. Hoorah! New turning point in life and so on and so forth . . . never mind.

So thank you very much to everyone who reviewed. I luff you.

**FrighteninglyObsessed**: Yep, you probably could, and today, this fic is one of them!

**Kyki Rivera**: Thanks

**walkingcensure**: Stalker James is great. I do love him.

**MissMrprk**:

Natalie: Thanks you so much for your compliments. I hate when that word is over-used. It's supposed to be shocking and scandalous! Are you the same person who reviewed chapter six?

**Tsusetsu**: Cheers, man.

**The Big Dance**: I think irresistible is right, but I'm rubbish at spelling. Exams were a disaster, but I'm finding it hard to care, so it hardly matters. :D There is some hinting of Remus/Verity, but I'm not sure where it will go. Thanks you so much for the review!

**mika-mitch**: Thank you so much. I love writing quidditch. You're right, that whole time of year rocks.

**Call-Sugarhigh-Police**: What? No! Come back with my character!

**breziebear**: Hey, I'm not saying anything! He kissed her on the cheek, break out the champagne! Oh, and about their first kiss (see above) sadly it wasn't beautiful, or romantic, or, in fact, on purpose, but no matter, there's plenty to come.

**limbo-gal**: Thanks very much! Of course Lily can't be brilliant all at once, that would be silly.

**booooo**

**hahaha**

**Poprocks**** and Coke **

**Gabby **

**Mo **

**Biach**: Are you all the same person? Or am I being rubbish? Either way, thank you very much for your reviews, they made me smile.

**The ORIGINAL Meathead**: Thanks you so much for reviewing yet again! Yeah, Quidditch players tend to be protective of their seekers, probably because they win the most points, it makes sense. I always thought of the school regarding the Head Students and other seventh years as minor celebrities of the school, I mean, they've had the most time to establish their reputations, and people would especially pay attention to Lily, James and the Marauders. They sound like they'd be infamous from what I've read. :D Keep reading if wanna find out what happens!

**Tracey**: You read every one of my L/J one shots? Wow! (Tips hat.)

**singing**: I hope you got to read the rest of the chapters by this time. Thanks so much for the review!

**bobo-32**: Wow, thank you so much. I'm very flattered!

**SnakeEyesHannah**: Thanks a mountain, honey. I'm glad I changed your mind about Lily playing Quidditch. She seemed to have an OK time of it up there, didn't she? Maybe that IS where Harry got it from, I know it sound ridiculous, but I never quite made that connection. (Blushes and feels sheepish.) Did your tactics work in basketball? I would be ecstatic if they did. Now I've got the Prodigy stuck in my head. I wonder how that would go down in a Harry Potter fanfic . . .

**shortywithbrains**: (Drools at the thought of Sean Biggerstaff and his fabulously sexy accent)

**kaiyana**: Amusing, am I? Fabulous, I'm glad. Thank you for all your lovely comments, and cheers for the luck on my exams, I really needed it.

**soccerchic1989**: Oh, God, you got sick on Christmas? That's just CRUEL. I hope you're OK now.

**Abarraine**: Hahahaha! Thanks, you made my day.

**LJstagflower4e**: Thank you very much, my luff. Quidditch matches rock my socks, and three cheers for fluff!

**applecede1**: Thank you very much, I hope you've caught up by the time I post this.

**KatieK**: 12:30 in the morning? (cringes) Thank you especially much for the review. I would have thought 'Aw, stuff it,' and gone to bed.

**milky way bar**: Yes, Christmas everyday, but without the pain of having to write thank you letters for all your gifts! All the Hindu people I know celebrate Christmas. I don't quite know how that works, but everyone's happy, so whatever! Appreciative reader inclination to write reviews happy author.

**Aliane**: Thank you very much, darling, I'm glad I amused you. Review again, won't you?

**GlassBroomstick**: What in the name of all things magic are you talking about? The first chapters are DIRE! But I don't have time to get into this now. I'll only say I love you because you reviewed and checked all the little blue buttons and leave it at that.

**newsieduckling**: OK, I will, thanks, for your note!

**threstlewhisperer**: Wow, I can't believe you read the other fic. Respect, darling, respect. Whenever I read stories that were written before OOTP, it always makes me nostalgic for old school fic where we didn't even know the slightest about the nature of Lily and James's relationship. (Sigh) Also, you're going to marry a man called James? I hate to break this to you, but in every other book I've read, apart from Harry Potter, the character called James has always been (a) evil, (b) creepy or (c) a scoundrel, so you might be going against the odds there. Oh well, there's always hope.

**Smay**: Thank you, I love being called original. Cheers very much!

**Lady of Masbolle**: That was one the worst British accents I have ever read, but well done for trying! :D Be thou not afraid of babbling, for it is what I do in the majority of mine fics. Also, I read your bio and you sound like a cool person, so I may be visiting you on LiveJournal so-o-o-on.

**siriusforeva**: Thank you so much!

**jfenlon**: Wow, thank you! Cute and clever are good things to be, I feel. Cheers.

**Next Chappy:**

How to blag a free Nimbus 100, according to James Potter

Handy Spanish phrases and where to use them, according to Verity Hooch

Rita Skeeter gets down to it, and takes the 'hands-on' route

Love, your thoughtful and considerate author.


	9. Suspects of Attack

**IX – Suspects of Attack . . .**

On Boxing Day, Lily wobbled blearily down the Head Girl's staircase and out of the door, just as James was exiting his own door across the Hall.

For the first time ever, the first thing that hopped into her mind was not utter revulsion and downright disgust at the sight of him, it was the memory of everything that had happened the day before, because she _had_ had a lot of fun last night, until that whole 'mouth to mouth' incident, that is.

Which, she reminded herself, wasn't all that bad. It _was _quite funny the way James had assumed muggles regularly kissed cataleptics.

"Morning," muttered James, who looked just as tired as she felt.

"Morning," she muttered back.

"Breakfast?" he asked, too sleepy to string more than two words together.

"Eehe," she made an affirmative noise, too sleepy for concrete consonants.

They strolled down to the Great Hall in silence. It wasn't a companionable silence, or one filled with a new sense of personal enlightenment, or even an awkward silence contemplating new found feelings. They were simply too bloody tired to make any conversation.

Sitting down at the late breakfast table, Remus bid them a good morning and returned to battling with the Boxing Day crossword puzzle in that day's issue of the Daily Prophet. Sirius grinned to himself as he caught the drooping eyelids and the sluggish movements of the Heads.

"You two look worn out," he commented suggestively, with a shrewd smirk. "Yes, very worn out indeed."

In less than half an instant, both Lily and James were wide awake. James went as red as a ripe English summer strawberry, while Lily's head jerked up and she narrowed her eyes dangerously at Sirius.

_Great Grindylows,_ thought James from beside her, such a look this early in the morning was liable to cause a few traumas.

"Are you implying what I think you're implying?" she asked lethally. Sirius returned hastily to his scrambled eggs.

"No, ma'am, not at all, apologies for the inappropriate implications, ma'am."

"What's a four letter word for 'endearing'?" asked Remus.

"Lily," answered James, without hesitation.

" 'Cute', you moron," she told him, shaking her head.

"You should have thought of that, Moony," Sirius scolded him.

"Well, maybe he has my problem," shrugged James suggestively. "Maybe all that comes into his head when he hears the word 'adorableness' is a six letter word that begins with a 'V'."

Remus coughed and hitched the paper higher to hide his face while James, Sirius and Lily sniggered. Sirius nicked the sports supplement off Remus, if only to expose his bright face for a moment or two, before scrutinising the headlines over his eggs.

"Oh would you look at that," he said breezily "That Greyman bloke from the Kentucky Kites got sacked."

"Why would that be on the headlines?" asked Lily.

"Up to the neck on drugs," James told her. "Most of them from the brand of Pumpkin juice that sponsors their team actually. Oh, hey, Lily! I completely forgot!"

"What?" asked Lily slightly worried. Knowing James, he had probably forgotten to give her a message about some Head Girl report or assignment of some kind and it was most likely due in that morning.

"I forgot to give you your Christmas present!"

"Oh, good grief, it's not another pair of hideously tasteless shoes, is it?" Lily asked, remembering the hilarious (har-har) joke the Head Boy had made with the nine-inch heeled, nauseatingly pink shoes. James grinned.

"That was good," Remus commented.

"Bloody funny in everyone's Christmas," agreed Sirius.

"No," James said, "it's better." And he shot off towards the Heads' Dorms.

"Better than the shoes?" Remus asked Sirius, as Lily contemplated making a run for it. Shortly, James returned with a square box in his hands. The sight of this caused several of the students who had remained at Hogwarts to turn around in their seats and watch.

"Oh, sod it, it's another pair of sodding shoes, isn't it?" Lily said in horror.

"I told you," James said, sitting down next to her again, and presenting her with the box, wrapped in a curly ribbon and emitting the odd decorative red spark every now and then, "it's better."

"It's a more expensive pair of sodding shoes, then," Lily surmised, regarding the box as if it were a portkey straight to the Sahara.

"Just open it," insisted James, holding out the box to her.

Lily gave him one of her dangerous looks and then, slowly reached out to pull on the red ribbon. Sirius looked around at the small audience they now had watching the Heads.

"And the tension mounts," he muttered sideways to Remus.

The bow undone, Lily lifted the lid of the box, and frowned.

"What in . . ." she began to say, because the box, turned out not to be a box at all. The inside of the box was much taller than the outside, the result of some careful magic on James's part, and _in_ the inside of the box, was a wooden handle.

Curious beyond all reason, Lily tugged the handle upwards and out of the box. Like a lamp out of Mary Poppins's carpet bag, came the long wooden body and the smooth, twigged tail of a broomstick. Sirius's fork clattered onto his plate as he dropped it in shock.

"Is that . . .?" he stammered, "is that . . .?"

"A broomstick," Lily said, looking at it in surprise.

"That's not just '_a broomstick_'," Sirius said, feverishly shuffling through the pages of the Daily Prophet Sports supplement until he came to the page he was looking for. "Look!"

Lily looked up from her gift and saw that the entire page was taken up by an advertisement. There, diagonally across the page, was the very broom in her hands, and above it, in magically shiny letters: _Nimbus 1000_. _Available at Quidditch supply and broomstick retailers wizarding-worldwide.__ Price on request._

_Price on request_, thought Lily. That meant the thing was ridiculously expensive, and the retailers wanted to wait until they could blind you with all the broom's glory face to face before they attempted to persuade you to hand over a crippling amount of money.

"A Nimbus 1000," Sirius declared, awe in his voice, and there was a hiss of amazement over the students in the hall.

"Do you like it?" asked James quietly, more than a little conscious of everyone watching them, and not too comfortable with it, to tell you the truth, "I know you'll find it useful and all, but . . . do you like it?"

"How much did pay for this?" Lily asked, equally quietly, "you didn't dirty your hands with less than legal methods, did you?" James grinned.

"No," he chuckled.

"No?" she said, disbelievingly, "no pirated merchandise? No mafia connections?"

"Well, I can't say I wasn't tempted," James teased. Lily regarded the stick in her hands again and raised her eyebrows.

"In that case," she said, "I may finally have a use for one of your Christmas presents, Potter."

"Excuse me for a moment," James said, holding up his forefinger. He turned his back briefly to Lily and raised his fist, screwing his face up in victory and doing a little punching motion in the air.

"What were we saying?" he asked, as soon as he was facing Lily again. "Oh yes, I'm glad."

"I'm glad too," nodded Lily, placing the broomstick on the table, all the better for their little group to look at. "I'm glad it's not a pair of shoes," she added, and the boys sniggered.

* * *

Lily was finishing some holiday homework in the Heads' Dorms (_Explain, as fully as you can, why the tidying charm has multiple uses, using the words: 'wand form', 'wrist movement' and 'tool shed', giving examples wherever possible,_)when there was a knock at the door. Abandoning her futile attempts at her essay, Lily got up from the sofa and moved to the door, opening it to reveal Verity, who jumped on her as soon as the door way was wide enough.

"Hola!" Verity cried through the hug she had laid on Lily.

"I'm assuming that means 'hello'," Lily smiled, pulling back and grinning at her friend.

"Yeah, how did you guess that?" asked Verity, grinning back.

"Lingual intuition," Lily teased.

"Well, I didn't really need to learn much else," Verity said disappointedly, "apart from 'dos cervezas, por favor'."

"What does _that_ mean?" Lily asked.

"Two beers, please," Verity informed her.

"Well, that gives me a big idea of what you did on holiday," Lily said.

"Indeed it does," smirked Verity.

"Well," came a voice from behind Verity, "I hope you didn't get too pissed to the point of no return, because we have another two matches ahead of us."

"Hola, James, como estas?" asked Verity. Considering she was speaking in Spanish, her accent seemed very British.

"Wot?" asked James, blankly.

"Verity wouldn't fly under the influence, would you, Veri?" Lily asked her friend against James's earlier implications, "because that wouldn't be very _responsible_ now, would it, Potter?"

"I was _completely _sober in that match against Hufflepuff after that party we had the night before," James told her, matter-of-factly.

"Of course, Potter, and that clear liquid you brought back form Hogsmeade in Firewhiskey bottles was just water, I'm sure," Lily nodded kindly.

"Well, we still won," muttered James dismissively, looking at the wall.

"So, James," Verity said to him, "have you been keeping Lily . . . occupied?"

"I'll say," grinned James, "she had a hard time avoiding me, so I caught up with her in the . . ."

"He bought me a broomstick," Lily interrupted, inspecting her nails.

"You bought her a broomstick?" Verity asked James.

"A Nimbus 1000," Lily said, tilting her head to the side.

"A _Nimbus 1000_?" Verity demand of James.

"No shoes this year," Lily added.

"_No shoes_?" Verity queried.

"'Fraid not," James shook his head.

"Well, that's the last time I go abroad without you lot," Verity said resolutely. "Typical, I leave and everything interesting happens."

"Oi! Hooch! I thought I heard your voice!" The three of them turned to spot Sirius (shouting), Remus and Peter coming down the corridor.

"How was Spain?" asked Remus, as they neared.

"Spain was a right bore compared to what's been happening over here," Verity replied, "Did you know that James bought Lily a broomstick?"

"We were there," Remus nodded. "She seemed pleased."

"Oh good, otherwise I would have beaten her over the head with it," Verity declared.

"Learn any handy Spanish phrases?" he asked.

"Er . . . dos cervezas, por favor," Verity said proudly.

"Nice," Remus chuckled.

"Cheers," she said, "oh! And . . . los jugadores de Quidditch Espanoles no me gustan, prefiero las comentaristas Ingleses."

Remus grinned. Verity smiled.

It was about five seconds before they realised that everyone else had begun to go down to lunch.

"Hey!" Verity yelled, as she and Remus ran to catch up.

"That wasn't very nice," Remus hissed in a whisper to Sirius.

"You looked like you were having an interesting conversation," Sirius whispered back.

"So James," Verity said, sliding up to him "what does a girl have to do to get a free Nimbus 1000 around here?"

"Hm . . . let's see," James mused, glancing at Lily. "She has to play Quidditch, of course.'

"Right," nodded Verity.

"She has to have a lovely disposition," James said, smiling slightly at Lily. She gave him an odd look. "She has to be interesting beyond belief . . ."

"Shut up, Potter," Lily told him.

"She has to be extremely clever," James continued, "genius level compulsory."

"Potter," Lily said dangerously, wishing dearly that she hadn't left her wand in the Heads' Dorm.

"She has to be hard working, and determined. Oh, and very successful," James grinned.

"Potter, I'm warning you," Lily said, quickening her pace when he began to walk faster.

"She has to be benevolent and righteous, yet able to enjoy herself," James said teasingly.

"Shut up!" she said, smacking him on the arm.

"Compassionate, generous, spontaneous and fearless, sparkling . . ." he rattled off Lily's talents and qualities as Lily began to hit him furiously.

"Potter! Say another sneaky, devious, underhanded word and I'll . . ."

"And drop-dead gorgeous."

Lily jumped and clamped her arms around his neck, trying to shut his wind pipe, but she had a suspicion it wasn't working very well because he was laughing and still talking, even with Lily clinging to his neck, her feet a good ten inches above the ground.

"Marvellous, amazing, fantastic, brilliant . . ."

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!"

James was unable to continue because he was laughing so hard. He bent over so that Lily squealed as she slid sideways off his back. He caught her and swung her round so that they were facing, her arms round his neck.

"Put me down, you stupid arse." Grinning, he kissed the freckles on her nose and she struggled, straightening her robes when he set her down again.

"I should have you arrested for sexual harassment," Lily muttered.

"Who would help you maintain your tyrannical rule over the student body?" he teased, and she chucked a fist at his arm.

"Who indeed," came a sickly sweet voice from in front of them. James turned to see Rita Skeeter coming out of the Great Hall. She'd come back from the Christmas Holidays even more tanned than before (if that were possible). She looked like a terracotta vase with a mop of blond hair. "Hello, James," she greeted him. "Lily." Lily looked at her in faint disgust.

There was a brief silence where the Gryffindors and the Ravenclaw looked each other up and down in the Entrance Hall.

"Er, no," James told Rita, before she had a chance to say anything else. "We're going to go this way." He put an arm around Lily's shoulders and guided her past the Ravenclaw. The rest of the Marauders and Verity swept her up into the Great Hall. James was about to follow them when Rita clamped her talons around his arm.

"Do I know you?" he asked, digging up the tone in which he used to ask this question at least twice a day during his fifth year.

"James, _Hogwarts Hearsay_ still needs an interview, and I still need a date to this weekend's Hogsmeade trip."

"Right," nodded James in a disinterested voice, "well, good luck getting either." He tried to free himself, but she had a quite frightening death grip on his arm.

"Perhaps I've not been clear enough about how I feel about you, James," she said, and James was beginning to feel sick from all the syrup she was pumping into her voice.

"Oh, you've been perfectly clear," he told her, feeling a little unnerved by the way she was manoeuvring him around to face her, "crystal clear, undoubtedly, unquestionably, undeniably, inescapably clear, in fact."

"Good," she said sleazily.

In his defence, James could honestly tell you afterwards, that he should have seen that disgusting, squelchy, awful-tasting kiss coming . . . he should have seen it coming, but he didn't.

* * *

Lily was just about to sit down at the Gryffindor table, when she noticed that their party was one short. Grudgingly, she admitted that James wasn't stupid, he couldn't have gotten lost within the three metres that it was from his previous position to the entrance of the Great Hall. Sighing, she told Verity and the rest of the Marauders that she was going to look for him, and re-traced her steps back to the door.

Huffing with indignation, she turned into the corridor and froze at the sight before her eyes.

To her disgust, Lily could honestly tell you afterwards, that she should have seen that repulsive, nauseating, revolting sight of James and Rita coming . . . she should have seen it coming, but she didn't.

* * *

The pure feeling of horror that spread through James was quite useful, really. It seemed to give him some sort of superhuman strength, because once he had gotten over the sheer abhorrence of his situation, he was able to throw Rita off himself and his face, and wipe his mouth of a strange, clear gunge that had accumulated on his lips.

Rita was about to say something when she seemed to catch sight of someone in the entrance to the hall. Wanting to know who had witnessed this crime to humanity, and fully intending to silence the person forever, James turned and saw Lily leaning against the thick doorframe. Apart from a raised eyebrow, her face was expressionless.

"Having fun?" she asked. James only gaped at her in horror.

"Oh, yes," Rita said, smirking, "brilliant fun."

"I'm glad," Lily told her, unsmiling, and turned to walk back into the Great Hall.

"Lily!" he shouted, as he sprinted after her. He caught her in the doorway, and the people nearest to them turned to see what the Head Boy was shouting about. Word spread as soon as the Head Girl began shouting back.

"_Don't!_" she yelled suddenly, and a few people jumped. Then her voice lowered to an extremely hazardous hiss, much like the one a rattlesnake may use when it is about to devour some poor small rodent. "Don't say my name with that mouth, do not even _speak_ to anyone with that mouth. _Do not befoul the English language with that mouth!_"

She sat down on the Gryffindor bench with a face like thunder and James threw himself onto the bench next to her, but before he could open his mouth to try and explain, Sirius demanded,

"What is going on? Prongs, what in the name of arse have you done _now?_" James turned to his best friend, but before he could open his mouth to try and explain, Lily interrupted,

"He snogged Rita Skeeter," she said breezily, as if she couldn't care less. The assembled company reacted in very quick succession.

"_Holy . . ._"

"_What?_"

"_Where?_"

"_Why?_"

"_When?_"

"_Urg_."

James had had enough, and took charge, not caring who he interrupted.

"Lily, _listen!_ I _didn't_ snog her! She just . . . _threw herself_ at me! It was like being in the path of a herd of charging Hippogriffs. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever experienced in my entire life! I was just . . . It was just . . . one second I was standing there, trying to escape her claws and next . . ."

Curiously, James's mouth kept moving, but no sound was coming out. After regarding this strange sight for a moment or two, Verity realised that the feeling of her wand in her back pocket was gone, and found it in the hand of the Head Girl, who had just cast a silencing charm.

"Prongs, Prongs!" Remus said, waving a hand in front of James's face, who was apparently babbling away, but wasn't making a sound. "Prongs!"

James mouthed something that looked like an impatient '_What?_'. Remus jerked a finger toward Lily.

"Silencing charm, can't hear a thing you're saying," he explained.

James sighed very obviously, and could only sit there next to Lily until the silencing charm wore off. Meanwhile, Lily enjoyed her dinner in peace, while James fidgeted violently with anything that came to hand, but did not touch a crumb himself.

He could see by her face that she obviously didn't care whom he snogged (or whom he was attacked by) in the hallways, but, due to his affection for her, he seemed to feel it was absolutely imperative that he make it perfectly clear he had nothing whatsoever to do with anything Rita Skeeter said or did. Predictably, when she stood up to leave, he stood up with her.

Lily sighed in a tortured way as the rest of the group watched them leave. The only thing she could hope for now was that the spell would not wear off before she had a chance to barricade herself in her dorm.

Of course, there was no such luck.

James's voice started to come back, first in a whisper, then in that interesting tone that nasty people use when they want to seem like they're whispering, but actually want the entire room to hear their conversation.

At last, on the stretch of corridor that led to the Heads' Dorms, James heard his volume return to where it usually was, except slightly higher, as is often inflicted by a bit of stress and emotional trauma.

"I just want to make it clear that she attacked me, Lily, that's all I want to say," he said.

"Loopy Loo," Lily said to the door, then to James she said testily, "Yes, thank you, you've made that clear."

Entering the Hall, he still wouldn't drop it.

"I mean, why on earth would I go and voluntarily snog _Rita Skeeter_?" He shuddered. "It doesn't bear thinking about it . . ."

"Yes, Potter, I can imagine," Lily gritted out through her teeth as she crossed the room to her staircase.

"Because, number one: she's horrid, number two: she's horrible to you, and number three: I fancy _you_ . . ."

As a result of following her across the room to her door, James almost walked into her when she stopped dead and spun round to face him. The look on her face was so frosty, it could have kept yoghurt fresh for years.

"For the sake of sod, Potter," she hissed with her fingers raised and contorted into claws, as if she were thinking of strangling him, "don't you understand? I couldn't care less who you snog . . ."

"Get attacked by," James amended, pointing a finger briefly.

"_Whatever_," Lily cried, "the point is, if you had snogged her voluntarily, it would have only confirmed my suspicions that you are a sad, sick excuse for a moronic twat." James's face brightened as he brought his finger up to point at her while putting forward his argument.

"But I _didn't_ snog her," he said reasonably, "therefore, your suspicions that I am a sad, sick excuse for a moronic twat, are still _only suspicions_." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Good grief, Potter, I don't have time for this . . ."

"Why are so angry anyway, Lilo?" he asked curiously, and quite daringly, really.

"**I don't know!**" she shouted, going a little red in the face, "I don't know why I'm angry, all right? Maybe it's because the sight of you and Rita Skeeter disturbs me so much that the image will be imprinted onto my eyes forever! Or maybe it's because when any of this gets out, I'll be made such a fool of, and people will say 'Oh, poor, sad Lily Evans, not even James Potter likes her any more.'" Her voice went a bit quiet for the next bit.

"Or maybe it's because I don't like seeing you kiss anyone else," she muttered sullenly, as she realised he'd weaselled it out of her at last. James grinned.

"Now we're getting somewhere," he said cheerily.

"Oh, shove off," Lily said sourly, "I still hate you, and I hate you even more for making me say that." She turned back to the door, said her password and opened it to go inside and climb into bed. Maybe she would stay there for the rest of her life.

"Lily," James called her back just as she was about to shut the door, "just to point out; I _didn't_ kiss anyone else, I was attacked." Lily only just stopped the smile inside her from sneaking its way onto her lips. Instead, she said,

"Potter, do not speak of it again, if you do, I shall attack you myself, and it shall be entirely different than the sort of attacking Skeeter did.

* * *

**a/n**

_"Beta-riffic: YES! Fluff! And, we're finally getting somewhere!" – courtesy of my beta, Rose who is lovely. _

Hello again, everyone. Thank you all so much for my lovely reviews and that. I'm really sorry about how late the chapter is. This is going to sound really odd right, but ever since exams finished, I have had absolutely NO TIME to write at all. Most of this chapter I typed at two in the morning, knowing I would be knocking back the herbal tea the next morning. (I am officially off coffee. Go me.)

Anyway, things just kept coming up. I had to make people stuff for their birthdays, I had to plan my own birthday party, I had to do some art again, (brand new theme, weh-hey!) So . . . yeah. I'm just a bit dead at the moment. I hope this chapter makes up for it though. Drama, drama, drama. Hurrah for drama!

**Sushinase**: Oh, holy fluff, you are so amazing to have given such lovely, amazing reviews for each and every chapter of my fic. I officially love you. Congratulations. And giving your favourite lines from each chapter is completely fine by me. It's thrilling to see which parts you like the most. Making people laugh makes me happy. You thought I was twenty? Twenty is an age I should like to be actually. Then I could get into all the gigs I want to go to at the Barfly. Queens of Noise are playing and it's over 18s only! (cries) People who are being sarcastic laugh like James does. It's like 'Har-de-har-har, it's funny for you, but not that funny for me'-type thing. Thanks you so much again.

**SnakeEyesHannah**: Sadly, I'm not free of school for the next four months. However, I don't have exams for the next four months, and that's a good as anything. Wow, I'm so glad my chapters put you in a good mood. Now I am pleased, well done. Stalker James is fun! I love him! Now why _didn't_ Lily remember she was witch before going straight in for the mouth-to-mouth? That's _very interesting . . ._

**FrighteninglyObsessed**: You're right, Christmas is an over used plot point, but I am writing a story that spans a year and I couldn't really leave Christmas out. It is kind of important. Although, it might have been quite funny if I had just skipped from one term to another. Thank you so much for the review, love.

**Phillippa of the Phoenix**: A lot of people are apparently feeling quite hostile towards Rita Skeeter. Yes, I seem to be getting that quite a lot. I think maybe when the story is finished, I might throw her to the mercy of the reviewers so they can have their blood thirsty revenge on her. Would you like to take a swig at her if I provided long flat plank of wood and maybe some baseball bats? RSVP and we'll make it a Rita-beating party! What larks.

**LostConscience**: I hope you've got to this chapter by now. Indeed Diggory is a bit of a twat, but never mind, he won't come up that much in later chapters. Joy. Thank you very much for the review!

**GlassBroomstick**: Haha, I'm glad you liked the whole mouth-to-mouth incident. I had much fun and larks writing that. It's was great. I'm also kind of glad you like the other story but kind of worried at the same time. Thanks for the note!

**soccerchic1989**: Oh, poor you, you should at least have gotten some time off school for it. Never mind. My birthday was great, thank you very much!

**sirius'girl4eva99**: Thanks so much, I hope I updated soon enough.

**Tsusetsu**: Thank you, dude. Isn't prose what I'm doing now? I'm confused, or do you mean like . . . original stuff?

**Aliane**: The Sandlot? Um . . . I don't know what is. Now I feel stupid. :D I'm glad you liked the song; my friend has started singing it randomly while walking down the street with me. She gets really hilarious looks.

**Miss Lady Padfoot**: Thanks for the happy birthday. I hope I updated soon enough for you. Thanks for reviewing too!

**shortywithbrains**: I wanna go to Italy too! My friend and I are thinking of going to live there for like, 6 months after we finish school before we go to university.

**The ORIGINAL Meathead**: Yeah, James is the sort of person who sees the funny side of almost dying. Hmm, will Lily every test the theory? (Sniggers because she knows the answer.) You're very flattering and thank you very for reviewing (yet again)!

**Victoria87**: Haha! I love that you sing the song! My friend was singing it as well. In public. We got a grand total of 24 weird looks. We had to stop shopping we were laughing so hard. That's how serious it was. I'm sorry your sixteenth year was all that great. I'm having quite a good time of it to tell you the truth.

**breziebear-is-2-lazy-2-login**: Haha, honey, in my book, any review is a good review. How do you know Lily and James are gonna kiss at all? I could NEVER make them get together. (Laughs manically.)

**Red-Emerald**: Thank you so much for the review, honey. I'm very glad I entertained you. D'you know? I never used to do the counting thing, but ever since I wrote the last chapter, I've started doing it. Weird, huh?

**Littleone**: Wow! Happy birthday to you too! Thanks for the review, luff, and have a good sixteenth year on this earth.

**Anne-Janet**: I've just gotten into herbal tea. Now I am obsessed and I love it. French really annoys me. I mean _really_ annoys me. Thank God I gave it up three years ago. I have fond memories of burning my notes at a garden party that summer. Fun times. Cheers for the review, and good luck at uni!

**The Big Dance**: Oh, don't worry about exams, it's fine! They don't matter! Haha. I love stalker James too, he's great!

**Tracey**: Whoa, that guy sounds way scary. I had an experience like that once. This is how mass murders are made, I'm telling you now. I am ashamed to say that I have never even heard of the Sandlot. Sorry about that. I think someone else was remind of the movie from the mouth-to-mouth bit and I think I should at least know who I've been plagiarising! Did it snow in the end?

**siriusforeva**: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it.

**Natalie**: Thank you so much. Keep reading!

**MissMrprk**:D –k

**Norwegianchick101**: A snog session? That depends how flexible Lily's willing to be. :D You may not get one at all. (Grin)

**Call-Sugarhigh-Police**: I'm glad you liked that bit. Thanks for reviewing!

**Laney-Wood**: I think she is a bit crazy, but I guess you'd have to be a bit mental not to give James a chance, eh?

**Violets-in-Spring**: Thank you muchly for the note. Unique is a very good thing to be. Cheers.

**limbo-gal**: He really is sweet to Lily, isn't he? He's lovely.

**Raj**: A great stand up comic, eh? I should say that when people ask me for my career plans. Thanks very much for the compliment, I hope you keep reading.

**ArkMage**: Cheers!

**sisterwhitehorse3**: I'm sorry, I have no clue what you're talking about. Sadly, I've never seen an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical. Please elaborate.

**helloshanti**: Yes, Lily always falls into the lake. I turned the tables! Haha. Thank you so much for the review!

**Alcapacien**: Thanks very much. I hope you read more soon!

**mika-mitch**: Thank you! I had a very good birthday. 4th April. I hope I remember that. Thanks for the review, luff.

**charbar**: Oh, James is made of strong stuff. I mean, let's face it, he's been putting up with Lily hating him for years. No exams! Weh-hey!

**shadowed.phoenix**: Thank you so much for keeping with the story, I know completely what you mean about getting bored with stories, I usually get bored with _my own_ after the first chapter, so there you go. And thank you for pointing out to me your favourite bit, I rather like it when people do that. :D Your reviews were very flattering and lovely. Thanks again!

**kiwislushie**: Thank you, my luff. Keep reading!

**drumer girl**: Aye aye, c'ptn! Cheers!

**naidel**: Talking like Yoda rocks, my love. I very, very, very glad you liked the story because you could be my harshest critic if you tried. But of course, that would require effort. :D

**Next chappy:**

Rita wreaks her rejection revenge. (Always avoid annoying alliteration) Haha, Sushinase.

James turns stand up comedian and gets one laugh out of the crowd. Fortunately, it's quite a significant one.

And presenting: _Gryffindor__ vs. Ravenclaw, The Musical!_

Lots of luff, your stressed and tired author


	10. A Certain Salutation

**X – A Certain Salutation**

_**Hogwarts Hearsay**_

_Issue 2, Volume 1_

_Friday 28th February _

_If any of our dear readers had any doubts that Hogwarts' most famous couple, Amos Diggory and Lily Evans have split, reporter for _Hogwarts Hearsay_, Rita Skeeter is of the opinion that your speculation may have ample grounds._

_Mr Diggory has revealed that the Head Girl has recently abandoned all self worth and dignity she may have previously owned by resorting to beg her former boyfriend to take her back, even offering to deliberately sabotage tomorrow's match against Ravenclaw so as to secure Hufflepuff's position in the Quidditch finals. As any Hogwarts Quidditch fan would know, for Hufflepuff to be back in the running for this year's cup, Ravenclaw must beat the house that Hufflepuff lost to, Gryffindor. Does this not mean that James Potter, captain of the Gryffindor team and Mr Diggory's long time rival, might do well to lead his team to victory and secure Mr Diggory's failure? _

_It is the opinion of the majority of Hogwarts that Mr Potter's ardour for Miss Evans is critically misplaced if the object of his affections is willing to dash all his hard work on behalf of the team, only to spite him by returning to the arms of Mr Diggory. _

The words in front of Lily vanished as she tore the piece of parchment off the wall where someone had stuck it to the stones. Ever since the article had come out the day before, the Head Girl had been furiously ripping copies of _Hogwarts Hearsay_ off the walls of the castle, wishing she could rip out something else, preferably Skeeter's hair, eyes, toenails or vital organs.

On the way down to breakfast on that Saturday morning, she and Verity succeeded in collecting a grand total of twenty-seven articles, each one bringing her mood further down a few notches. It wasn't really the fact the Rita Skeeter was writing rubbish about her, because anyone with even half a brain cell would know that there was about as much chance of Lily asking Diggory to take her back as there was of McGonagall beginning a tap dance on the high table. It was more the fact that Lily was letting that cow get to her. It wasn't a nice feeling.

Lily had a certain talent for entrances, and that morning's was no exception. It could definitely be said that she stormed in, and the weather did a lot to help this description. There was, coincidentally, a late winter storm raging against the castle outside. When Lily and Verity opened the doors to the Great Hall, every head in the room turned to see them with crumpled parchment in their hands, and with Lily's expression murderous enough for the both of them.

There was silence, filled only by the noise of the thunderstorm outside, as if it were embarrassed at the lack of the earlier conversation in the hall and was desperately trying to make small talk, like an uncomfortable guest. Students sat in rapt attention as the Head Girl and her best friend made their imperial way across the hall to the Gryffindor table and sat in the only spaces on the Gryffindor table, ones that James had made sure stayed available. He was watching Lily very carefully.

"Morning, Lilo," Sirius tried, always one to be liberal with the safety of his life. There was a brief silence.

"Good morning, Sirius," Lily replied, perfectly politely. Remus began to pour pumpkin juice over his toast he was so shocked.

"Are you all right, Lily?" he asked cautiously.

"Hm?" replied Lily, "Oh, yes, fine, you?"

"Never been better," said Remus, unnerved.

As Lily reached for an orange from the fruit bowl in front of her, James picked up one of the crumpled articles that she had left on the table.

"Do you think if we all start actually _believing _what Skeeter says, she'll be fuelled with the unstoppable thrill of power and ultimately explode?" he asked, conversationally.

Lily's head turned slowly to face the boy beside her, at which point she blinked, twice.

The hall held its breath. This was it, they were going to witness the murder of James Potter by way of choking on the orange in the Head Girl's hand.

But then Lily did something no one, not even she, had expected.

She _laughed_.

It was a laugh that showed Lily didn't give a toss that the entire hall was staring at her. It was a laugh that had its roots in the stomach, its leaves in the lungs, and its pretty flowers in the voice. It was a laugh that said defiantly, 'Oi, what's your problem? Ain't you never seen anyone laughing before?'

James grinned as whispers began to break out over the four house tables. This was surreal indeed. The only thing more odd than Lily Evans laughing at James Potter's jokes was if Hagrid suddenly started talking in a German accent.

"Come on," James said, taking her by the arm. "Gryffindor! Changing rooms now!" he hollered, and the players hurriedly began to say goodbye to their friends or scoop the last spoonfuls of porridge into their mouths.

Outside, the storm had lessened off a little with the realisation that all may be well again. The thunder clouds were still hanging overhead, but the rain had dribbled off into a drizzle. Lily was still giggling to herself while James was escorting her across the grounds. Verity jogged to catch them up and put a hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Lilo, are you all right?"

"Hee hee hee," Lily replied, daintily wiping a tear from the corner of one eye. "Can you imagine?" she asked gleefully, holding up an outstretched hand, "Rita Skeeter . . . **Bang!**" The Head Girl collapsed into a fit of giggles again.

"I _knew _it!" Verity hissed at James, "I _knew_ you'd do it one day, and today's the day! You've driven her completely crackers!"

"Hooch! I am scandalised!" James said, as he set a gasping Lily down on one of the benches. "Although, you're quite right, you _do_ have to be crackers to laugh at my jokes."

Verity tripped on her own feet. This day was getting more bizarre by the minute. The James of two years ago would have never said something like that. The James of two years ago would have smirked because everyone probably would be laughing at his jokes, and if they weren't, he'd repeat them . . . only louder.

Feeling a spell of dizziness coming on, Verity went off to get changed.

* * *

Lily was still having the odd burst of soft giggles when she lined up next to James just inside the entrance to the changing rooms. James was grinning. 

It was a rather amazing feeling, making Lily laugh. He didn't think he'd ever had that pleasure before. Usually he was making her either growl in a threatening manner, roll her eyes in exasperation or tear her hair out in fury.

As Remus's magnified voice began to echo throughout the pitch, James thought that making Lily laugh would be a good habit to pick up.

"Students, professors, witches, wizards . . . and anyone else I've missed," Remus announced from the commentator's box. "_This_ is the Hogwarts Quidditch Pitch! We'll start the bidding at six sickles! Thank you, sir! Anyone for seven? Yes, you in sixth row. Eight for you in the Ravenclaw scarf. Going . . . going . . . Sold! For eight sickles, thank you madam, and now on to today's match!"

James's grip tightened on his broomstick as the Ravenclaw team jogged onto the muddy pitch behind their captain. The familiar adrenaline was beginning to simmer in his ribcage.

"Presenting the Ravenclaw Team: Keats, Edwards, Peterson, Howe, Connor, Chein and their captain . . . Rys! Peterson has apparently been training hard these past months to replace the former seventh year Chaser, Frederick 'fearless' Tyler."

Verity leaned forward and tapped Lily on the shoulder.

"Good luck, Lilo," she whispered with a wink.

"I'd wish you luck, but you hardly need it," Lily whispered back, smiling weakly.

"Same to you, luvvie," Verity said, patting her friend on the shoulder. "Let's go thrash 'em, hm?"

"And their opponents, the Gryffindors: Black, Hooch, Tall, Barker, Kipping, Evans and their captain . . . Potter! In this team's recent news, Ainsley Tall has successfully recovered from the injury he sustained whilst falling down the stairs over the holiday period. When asked to comment, he retains that it was the unusually large amount of brandy his grandmother put in the Christmas pudding."

It wasn't long before Mr Richards limped up to the lines of players. Being lamed in the last of Gryffindor's Quidditch matches, James saw he had gotten someone to reattach his leg. The referee gave Sirius a poisonous look as he passed the seventh year boy.

"Yeah, that's right," James heard him mutter, "it's back on, no thanks to you . . ."

"Looking good, sir," Sirius nodded cheerfully, and Mr Richards shook his head and limped on.

The Ravenclaw captain was an extremely tall sixth year girl with a mass of violently orange, wildly curly hair that added at least three inches to her height. Even without the hair, she was almost as tall as James when he shook her hand with a friendly smile.

Lily was sure she wasn't the only one who saw Emmeline Rys smile shyly and try to push her hair behind her ear. Good grief, was absolutely _everyone_ in love with Potter? Sometimes it seemed to her as if she were the only sane person for miles.

"Mount your brooms!" Mr Richards called, and as the players mounted, so did the tension.

"That was the whistle and there they go!"

Immediately, the noise in James's ear doubled as the crowd cheered harder.

"First possession taken by Gryffindor, it's Simon Kipping for Gryffindor gaining yards by the second. Is that a new broom I see him riding? Yes, it is and rumour has it that particular model is not available to the wizarding public at large and can only be obtained via the Russian military."

James sped alongside Simon and his Russian broomstick while Verity flew on Simon's other side. At the sight of a Ravenclaw Chaser approaching him fast in the opposite direction, Simon feigned passing left to James and when the Ravenclaw keeled off to his left, Simon passed right to Verity.

"Hooch scores!" declared Remus and Gryffindors throughout the stands celebrated. There seemed to be a general movement among the third years of shooting sparkly bits of red and gold parchment out of their wands in festivity, and James thought sullenly that Professor Flitwick had never bothered to teach them _that _charm. "Ten-nil to Gryffindor and possession returns to Edwards for Ravenclaw, who passes straight down to Peterson."

Lily was feeling good, all things considered. All things being that she was suspended forty feet in the air, wet, freezing and scared witless. However, this was a lot better than last time, last time being when she felt she might pass out with fright or embarrassment or both.

The Ravenclaw Seeker and Captain, Rys was shouting encouragement to her Chasers, but Lily wondered whether they could hear her with the inconvenience of her hair, which had a habit of being blown in front of her face. Lily, who had quite a lot of hair herself, had dragged her ringlets back to the top of her head, plaited them and fastened them with industrial strength elastic. However, she only had about a fifth of Rys's hair, so why wouldn't the Ravenclaw captain have taken something in the way of her own precautions?

Anyway, Lily had no time to worry about hair, whether it was hers or the opposition's. She still hadn't scoured the Ravenclaw end of the pitch, and the score was now thirty-twenty to the Ravenclaws. So, with renewed determination and confidence that only comes when your hair is staying right where you want it to, Lily flew down the other end of the pitch and continued her search.

James, on the other hand, wasn't having such a good time of it. His troubles, though, were nothing to do with his hair, since he had long accepted the fact that his hair would never stay right were he wanted it to. His quandary had arisen as a result of the Ravenclaw Captain, who didn't seem to want to leave her Chasers alone. Due to her unnaturally large amount of involvement with them, it seemed to James as if it was four Ravenclaws against three Gryffindors and this was very off putting for him and for his fellow Chasers, he imagined. She also wouldn't stop looking at him.

It wasn't that James had a problem with people looking at him. On the contrary, he had a more of a need than most people to be the centre of attention. However, Rys was giving him the sort of looks that indicated she was looking at him to see if he was looking at her, which, of course, James had to when he was constantly feeling her stare in the back of his head.

The above distractions were probably factors leading to the consequence of Ravenclaw leading sixty-thirty.

James ran his hands through his hair in irritation and caught the Quaffle that Simon had just spun under a Ravenclaw Chaser.

"And the Quaffle goes to Potter for Gryffindor, who evades a tackle by Ravenclaw's Connor. Bludger ahoy!"

James saw it speeding straight at him. Thinking fast, he tossed the Quaffle up above him, shoved the end of the broom down hard and heard the black ball whiz past over his head. The Quaffle on the other hand, fell straight into his arms on its downward trip and since the Bludger had cleared the air of Ravenclaw Chasers, James beat the keeper and scored.

"Twenty-eight and half minutes in and the score is now sixty-forty to the Ravenclaws. Possession goes to Edwards. Which side will score again before the half hour?"

It turned out to be Ravenclaw . . . twice, once when Ainsley mistook Rys for a Chaser who could be passed to and tried to cover her shooting range as well as the three real Chasers', once when James got distracted when trying to tackle Peterson.

"It's eighty-forty and once again, the Ravenclaws have twice as many points as the Gryffindors do. It seems the lions are having a bit of an off day," Remus said curiously into the microphone. "Usually they're renowned for having one of the school's strongest teams of Chasers. I wonder what's going wrong today . . ."

Gaining confidence, Lily wound her way though balls and players with increasing speed. Through the previously indistinguishable cheering of the crowd, there emerged the sound of definite words.

Lily frowned in incredulousness as the words took on a tune and spread ferociously through the stands. Some saddo had made up a song!

_Go Potter! Go on Potter!_

_On a broomstick, no one's hotter!_

_It's not how he looks, it's just how he plays_

_Although he's still gorgeous on his worst hair days!_

James was sure the suspension on Sirius's broomstick was suffering dramatically with the way it was shaking with his best friend's laughter. Rolling his eyes, he screwed his concentration back onto the game, although he couldn't help listening with half an ear. Even with about eight hundred people belting it out, the song didn't seem to mean a thing when the words weren't Lily's.

"Despite . . . ahem . . . enthusiastic support," Remus said after trailing off his commentary to listen to the song, "Potter's team is still dragging behind with seventy points to Ravenclaw's one hundred and twenty. Bludger towards Hooch! Black! Stop that bloody hysterical giggling and do your job!"

The noise level on the pitch immediately plummeted to the level of mass whispering with people muttering gleefully to their friends, or demanding of them what had been said that was so scandalous.

"I mean . . ." Remus amended quickly, his voice low with embarrassment, "Gryffindor's behind enough already . . ."

"Alright! Alright!" James heard Sirius shout, gliding away to follow the nearest Bludger, "I'll take care of your _girlfriend_, don't get too stressed, now!"

Verity threw the Quaffle at his head.

Remus's defensive muttering was interrupted however, because the crowd had started up another verse of singing. A few seconds in, and Lily felt like flying away over the Forbidden Forest to escape the indignity of it all.

_Go Evans! Go on Evans! _

_Chase that Snitch up to the Heavens!_

_We know you can catch it at any distance_

_And then, while you're at it, give Potter a chance!_

Seizing the Quaffle, and dodging a Ravenclaw Chaser, James held out a grateful hand to the crowd, shouting "Thank you! _Thank_ you!" as if they were all MPs that had backed him up in a parliamentary argument. Shooting at the Ravenclaw goal and awarding Gryffindor ten points, he turned to Lily and hollered "See? Public opinion's in my favour!"

Lily was sure that her lungs were slowly shrivelling up with chronic embarrassment and she rolled her eyes in a bid to look like she couldn't care less about the stupid song. In their sweep across the sky, her eyes caught on something, like your school uniform sometimes unluckily gets caught on a piece of classroom furniture. Something of that sort had happened to Lily last year in Potions when her skirt had gotten caught on a dented cauldron and flashed her underwear to everyone exiting the classroom behind her. Since then, James had tripled his efforts in getting her attention.

Anyway, her eyes had caught on something bright and shiny, and for the first time during the match, it wasn't the Ravenclaw Captain's hair.

The Snitch was playfully fluttering around the base of the right Gryffindor goalpost. As if it sensed it had been spotted and had the glaring searchlights of a prison tower focused on it, the Snitch darted off towards the centre of the pitch, wings humming fiercely in a bid to escape capture.

The rational part of Lily's brain shut off completely, leaving the irrational part a free reign on the decision-making front. The irrational part was not really accustomed to having this privilege very often, as Lily was by and large a very rational person, so when Lily chose on the rare occasion to be irrational, she certainly didn't do it by half.

Therefore, it wasn't surprising from a psychological point of view when she made her broomstick drop like a sickle off the top floor of Gringotts. It was fairly surprising from a spectator's point of view however, which was probably why a massive gasp gripped the crowd and a third of the onlookers stood up in shock.

Twisting around to see what all the fuss was about, James froze as he saw Lily hurtling towards the ground, then, before he could even attempt to make sense of it all, it all made sense by itself. Lily's eyes were determined, and her hands firmly clasping the broom handle. She was plummeting towards the grass with a purpose, and next second, James saw the purpose glinting gold against the green.

"Come on, Lily!" he hollered at the top of his voice. "Whoa," he added, jerking out of the way as the Ravenclaw Captain sped past him, faint panic on her face.

Lily's dive went shallower as she curved level with the ground on nearing it. The Snitch zipped back and forth only ten metres in front of her, but she was gaining. In the very top of her vision, a mass of frizzy, orange hair on a broomstick was flying towards her and towards the Snitch. Lily willed herself to go even faster.

Bracing her knees tightly on either side of her Nimbus, she took one hand off the handle and reached out in front of her.

Her fingers brushed the humming wings of the Snitch.

Startled, the golden ball hopped further ahead, its humming now seemingly desperate. Beyond the Snitch, Lily could see Rys approaching fast, in exactly the opposite direction to herself.

Here Lily was faced with a dilemma. Should she be sensible and clever and pull away before either of them got hurt, or should she be fantastically stupid and rush into a lethal game of _chicken_?

_Chicken_ it was, then.

It was merely the issue of Lily's hatred of losing. Moreover, it was Lily's hatred of losing to _Rys_. It didn't quite make sense, but she suddenly felt this abject disgust at the prospect of losing to someone who fancied Potter.

A doubt flickered in her mind for a nanosecond, as doubts frequently tend to do in these life-or-death situations. Was it that she didn't want to lose to someone who liked Potter, or was it that she didn't want to lose to someone who liked Potter and so lose Potter to someone who liked him?

This thought was made less sense than the previous one, and besides, Lily had more important things to think about, for example, stretching out her palm.

The Ravenclaw captain mirrored this movement, grinning because the Snitch was flying away from Lily and towards her.

"It's a game of _Niffler on the Gringotts' Tracks!_" Remus exclaimed to the enthralled crowd. "The Snitch is heading towards the Ravenclaw Seeker, but Evans is getting closer by the second!"

The Ravenclaw Seeker was looking terrified now that Lily was showing no inclination of swerving away and was actually closer to the Snitch. Her hair was even frizzier with fright, but her eyebrows were furrowed in determination, and Lily had to hand it to her, she was being very brave. Either that, or fancying someone made you do crazy things.

Lily suddenly saw what was going to happen. She saw all the events in row, one by one.

The Snitch would finally twig that it was flying straight into Rys's hands, and then fly upwards to avoid the both of them, leaving herself and Rys to crash into each other, neither having caught the Snitch.

Now she understood why you always had to be two steps ahead in chess, now she understood why people won wars because of foresight and now she understood why people who were good at chess and winning wars were also very good at making a lot of money on the stock market.

She and Rys were merely three metres away from each other when the captain shut her eyes tightly and Lily jerked her broom handle upwards, curling over Rys like a dolphin leaping over the surface of the sea. Inhaling in a great rush, the Head Girl saw Rys rocket past underneath her, just as the Snitch froze in the face of the Ravenclaw and decided to whiz upwards instead.

As Rys careered off behind Lily empty-handed, the snitch rose upwards to the redhead's eye level.

Lily smiled before snatching it out of the air.

* * *

Having won the Quidditch game, the Head Girl needed little else to make her happiness complete, and this 'little' happened to be entirely encompassed in a long, warm bath. 

Sighing, she crossed the hall of the Heads' Dorms and entered that bathroom, so eager to begin running the water that she forgot to do one very important thing. Soon, Quidditch robes, shin pads, arm pads, socks, shoes and underwear littered the floor of the bathroom as Lily sunk into the foam-capped water, soaking in all the warmth and breathing in the sweet-smelling formulas that mixed in with the water. She closed her eyes and lay back, setting her ankles down on the far edge of the bathtub with her knees bent and smiled, as foam crawled down her legs back onto the water.

Whistling, James strode into the Heads' dorms on top of the world. He even did a little skip as he passed the coffee table, un-strapping his arm pads and tossing them onto the sofa. Still whistling, he went up his staircase and came back down in his boxers and a T shirt, making for the bathroom.

Lily opened her eyes when she heard a click. She'd forgotten to lock the door, she realised with mild surprise.

_Oops_.

The Head Boy reached a crescendo in his whistling as he crossed the tiled floor and stationed himself in front of the sink. Then, he switch to humming tunelessly as he loaded his toothbrush with paste and stuck it into his mouth. He then realised that the mirror above the sink was fogged up and wiped it clear again with the palm of his hand before he began brushing his teeth.

It was a few seconds before he thought about what he had just done. Where had the fog on the mirror come from? Why was there steam in the room? And where was that sweet smell coming from?

Lily watched James turn around, very slowly, with his mouth covered in toothpaste and his brush sticking out the side. James could do nothing more than freeze up the moment he saw her.

There she was . . . in the bath . . . and by the amount of clothes on the floor in front of her, he was pretty sure she wasn't wearing anything . . . in the bath. Then there the fact that her hair was piled on top of her head in curls, with the odd coil hanging down into the water. Her fingers dripped over the side from her arms resting on the edge of the bathtub, and then there was simply the way her feet ran into her ankles, that ran into her shins, that ran down into the foamy water.

He didn't think the way his glasses were fogging up had anything to do with the warmth of the air.

Lily smirked internally as she watched him turn redder by the second. His face was like a remembrall in the hands of a dying man who's forgotten to sign his last will and testament.

She crooked an eyebrow.

"Evening."

In an uncharacteristic spasm of sudden movement, James turned round, spat in the sink, chucked his brush into the cup above it, and sprinted out the door, slamming it shut with a bang.

Lily sank further down into the bubbles, covering her shoulders, laughing at the look of colossal shock that hit the Head Boy straight in the face. After her brief giggling fit, she contemplated what a colossal fraud he was. The most sought-after bachelor of Hogwarts was panicked by the sight of her, little old Lily Evans, taking a bath.

Hee hee, what a joke!

James on the other hand, was not laughing. He had not stopped running until he had arrived in his dorm, and even then, began sporadically pacing trying to get his brain past a single image that had been burnt into the core of his mind.

It wasn't just her hair, it was her shoulders, her neck, her eyes, glazed over with steam . . .

Swallowing, he went to open a window and sat down on his bed, wiping the toothpaste off his mouth.

Needless to say, his dreams that night involved pale skin, red hair, a lot of bubbles and a certain salutation.

* * *

**a/n: **Heya guys! Sorry it's been so long. The good news is that this week is half term (I get a whole week off!) so I will be able to churn out chapters faster. I have just been so busy since this year began. Normally I have time to write this fic, the odd one shot and some other fic on my computer at the same time, but this year I have been barely able to scrape together the moments for this one. 

**NOTE TO ALL**: Anne-Janet and I have stumbled upon a fabulous idea! it has come to my attention that A LOT of people hate Rita Skeeter. I mean really detest her guts, with good reason too. She here is an invitation to everyone: (Hands out slips of card)

**_Come to koonelli and __Anne-Janet_**_**'s SkeeterBeater party!  
**__Once koonelli has finished _The Beautiful Game_, she will have no more use for Rita and her sorry arse.  
__Why not have a go at beating Rita out of her bad ways with bat and wand alike?  
__After the last chapter of the fic, Rita will be stung up in a tyre from a Quidditch goal and readers will have a chance to vent their anger on the dastardly Ravenclaw.  
__The review describing the most eccentric or imaginative way in which Rita gets her comeuppance will have a one shot dedicated to the author.  
__So bring your cricket bats, bring your two-by-fours and Happy Beating! See you after the last chapter!  
__**Please note that koonelli in no way condones violence. Well, except maybe when people deserve it. **_

**snazzysnez**: Haha, cheers love. About time indeed.

**foxyie xox**: Yes, I think progress is being made. Pray that it continues. Thanks for the review!

**FrighteninglyObsessed**: UUURRGGG! A Yule Ball or a party so that the main characters can get drunk and there can be a chapter of badly written sex? Cringes Well, rest assured there will be none of that here. This is a PG-13!

**siriusforeva**: Yes, your hopes made them win. They won just for you. :D

**Shanti**: EW! Mind! Gutter! Out! Now! He meant 'Verity'! Because thinks Remus fancies Verity! EW! But other than that, thanks for the review.

**Alcapacien**: A fart cake mondo? Haha, I shall have to use that in a fic sometime. I'm afraid Lily will never forgive Rita. It's a hopeless case. I think it was the kiss/newsletter that did it. Sorry, the two are irreconcilable, mainly because Rita is, as you said, a fart cake mondo. :D

**LostConscience**: I'm sorry you were having a mean day. You were very nice to me in your review, thank you very much.

**Call-Sugarhigh-Police**: Indeed, cheers!

**shortywithbrains**: Yes, I didn't know Remus knew Spanish either but apparently is a very worldly person. I think Sirius is too much of a playa to have one girl in my fic, but I have another use for the boy, never you worry. Here's a secret I shall with you and only you. It involves him _sin camisa_. :D

**Aliane**: Haha, yes. Since the story is largely about Quidditch, I thought Lily's friend should be someone obsessed, maybe a relative of Madam Hooch's? _Oooohhhh_, is that was the Sandlot is? That makes sense now. Is it good? Should I watch the film I am plagiarising?

**Lyss**: Thank you, love, keep reading.

**Tsusetsu**: I used to write poetry but then I realised it was crap and put it all through the shredder. You should hear the noise my mum's shredder makes, it's buff.

**drumer girl**: Thanks, love!

**walkingcensure**: Having a fangirl moment:D Oh, to hell with it, Squeeee!11!one!

**milky way bar**: Yes, mouth to mouth, always good, especially when both parties are ready and willing. ;)

**kaiyana**: Wonderfully portrayed? Why, thank you very much. Too bad she's a ho, eh?

**limbo-gal**: Heehee, yes Lily is jealous. Heehee. I love to tease her, poor thing.

**SnakeEyesHannah**: Wow, you are very flattering, thank you so much. I wouldn't worry about how expensive the broom was. If you read the Daily Prophet's financial section, apparently the Potters and their various organisations, companies and projects amount to 5 of the whole wizarding economy so . . . it's the thought that counts, eh?

**Tracey**: James he appreciates your victory dance . . . both your victory dances because it shows that public opinion is in his favour. So, on behalf of James, thank you very much. Most of my art is either school stuff or birthday card for people, nowt interesting but I like doing it. Your friend's art intrigues me. Thanks for the birthday wish. I _did_ have a good birthday. Is was nice and sensible so I can lure my parents into a false sense of security and let me have a big garden party in the summer.

**Sushinase**: Wow, I guess you liked a lot of things about the chapter. I love that you list them all. Yes, James is a little fixated, but the poor boy is in love, you can hardly blame him. Mafia!James rocks my socks. Thanks for the review, honey.

**Anne-Janet**: Can I have some good-mood tea? I want to organise a BBQ this summer after exams so that everyone can being their notes after they have given up subject and burn them. Then the joy will be spread. You're welcome to come.

**Phillippa of the Phoenix**: Laughs about what? And why aren't you laughing? OMG! The SkeeterBeater party is on! Genius!

**The Big Dance**: Thanks for the review, love. I am intrigued by your name. Is it a theory about life?

**Victoria87**: Heya. Well, would you look at that. I seemed that just as things were getting hot, like you wanted, James was actually the one that ran away! Haha! How ironic. :D

**MissMrprk**:) What are we smiling about?

**mika-mitch**: Aw, I'm glad my story made your day better. What have I smoked? Is this a trick question:D

**ArkMage**: Thanks, honey.

**kiwislushie**: Aw, thanks. Fluff is always good. Thanks for reviewing!

**charbar**: Haha, I may spin and spin and spin . . . I hope your having a good half term. Don't do too much work now. Work Bad.

**soccerchic1989**: Thanks love. No coffee (apart from the occasional sip from naidel's) for over a month. Weh-hey. :D

**naidel**: Yes, the poor boy needs it indeed. He's so sweet and I love him.

**Flavagurl**: Thank you so much, honey. Keep reading, I love you for it.

**EvilQueenHannah**: I can never ever be bothered to print out chapters. I always say 'Oh, I'll read it later,' but then I never do. Thank so much for reading.

**Daman5**: Cheers.

**Denierure**: Thanks you very very much.

**milky way bar**: Aw, you're lovely. Thanks for the review.

**vickiicky**: Whoa. Caps, much:D Thanks for carrying on with the story. I guess that bit grossed a lot of people out. I think it's quite, but don't take my word it. That's what my lovely beta Rose is for.

**Prongs(F)**: Thank you love, I'm glad you like Lily as a seeker. I wasn't sure how people would react at first. I thought I would get burned at the stake for 'Mary-sueing'.

**newsieduckling**: Thank you love, keep reading.

**Red-Emerald**: Finished your work yet? Thank you for your lovely review. The kiss grossed a lot of people out. But don't worry. Rita will get what's coming to her.

**The ORIGINAL Meathead**: Thank you so much. Glad you liked the chappy. Poor James indeed. :D

**Next chappy:**

Rita turns _Hogwarts Hearsay_ into a family business

The paparazzi stalk Sirius

Lily tests her public speaking skills, and fails miserably

Lots of luff, your on-holiday author


	11. Worth Mentioning

**Eleven – Worth Mentioning**

Sunday went by for Lily in slow trickle of sitting around, chatting happily and maybe the odd spattering of work here and there, during which she noticed that James had considerable difficulty in meeting her eye. Oh well, she was sure he'd get over it soon.

"Do you happen to have any idea why James keeps going red every time you speak to him?" Verity asked, while they were sat comfortably in the Gryffindor Common Room so that Lily could help a fifth year with his Charms OWL essay. Verity was tucking into a box of Cockroach Clusters and Lily was stealing one every so often for strength when she had to point out to Lewis Bourche that 'magic' was got spelt with a 'k'.

Coincidently, at that moment, the Portrait Hole opened and James himself scrambled in. The girls glanced at each other and tried to pretend that they had not just been talking of him. With their position right next to the boys' staircase, there was no way he could not acknowledge them.

"Hello, Verity," James greeted his Chaser swiftly. "Lily," he nodded, and made his hasty was up the stairs without stopping to chat.

Verity looked at Lily inquiringly.

"I'm sure I have no idea," said Lily, innocently.

"Is this right?" Lewis asked her, passing her his piece of parchment.

"There's a full stop right here," Lily said, tapping the offending sentence patiently.

As the boy diligently went back to work, and Verity went back to throwing clusters into her mouth, Lily wondered why she didn't tell her best friend about the whole bathroom lark the night before. It would have been quite funny, if the story had gotten out to the school at large, as it undoubtedly would have.

She didn't think Potter's herd of mindless fans would be quite as impressed with his 'poise and confidence' if they knew about the funny-looking, half-strangled look on his face as he tore out of that bathroom faster than Simon's Russian broomstick.

So why had she not said anything?

Maybe it was because of the fact that James _had_ done a runner at all. If he hadn't, not only would she have made sure that he couldn't see his own body anymore from her curses, but she would have had no qualms about letting everyone in on what happened and hoping that Potter would be expelled.

But that look on his face had been so funny, and that desperate sprint for the door had been so quaint, that she sort of regarded it as something she liked about Potter, and for now, she wanted to keep it to herself.

* * *

At exactly twenty-three minutes past eleven on Sunday night, a figure could be noticed creeping along the ninth floor from corridor to corridor, occasionally hiding behind statues and avoiding moonlight wherever possible.

Such behaviour could have been seen as a little unnecessary, considering that the figure was wearing all black robes, a pair of black shoes and the leg of a pair of black tights over her head. Not a sound was uttered by the individual, apart from a small, strangled squawk when the loose leg of her tights got caught on a door handle.

Maybe these measures were a little extreme, but when you don't want to be seen, you don't want to be seen, and Rita Skeeter didn't want to be seen.

Finally reaching her destination, the gossip queen cum cat burglar flattened herself against the wall and reached sideways to turn the handle of the door to a classroom. Light flooded out into the corridor and disappeared again, as Rita slipped inside, preferring not to acknowledge the fact that she tripped from a combination of the doorframe and her heals.

"Nita!" she hissed into the room. "Nita! Are you here? Anita!"

Another blonde head popped up from behind the professor's desk at the front of the room. A camera swung from the neck attached to the head.

"Oh, it's you," said the girl, scrambling up from the floor, and setting down the camera on the desk.

"Well, who _else_ would it be," Rita asked scornfully. "Hagrid?"

"It could have been a teacher," Anita Skeeter replied in a tone equally as contemptuous, "and I haven't got a detention yet. I'd like to keep my record clean for as long as possible, thanks."

"My heart bleeds for you," Rita said sarcastically, wrinkling her nose in a sneer. "Now shut your irritating little gob and listen. I want you to do something for me."

"Get stuffed."

"It's in your interest."

Anita regarded her sister levelly for a moment.

"Gab on, then."

Rita cleared her throat.

"No one is believing any thing written in _Hogwarts Hearsay_. All my careful efforts are going to waste and that Evans cow is still bloody queen of the castle."

"Oh, Merlin," Anita sniggered, "don't tell me you're still after James Potter! Haven't you heard? He _hates_ you, after you've been so horrible Evans."

Rita lashed out and seized one of her sister's white blonde plaits, pulling hard. Squealing, Anita clawed away at Rita's face, and the scuffle lasted around five seconds before both of them began to fear for either their hairstyle, or their cosmetic charms.

There followed a few moments where both parties sorted themselves out, huffing and sniffing as they peered into mirror charms and raked fingers through hair.

"He won't hate me for long," Rita said to her reflection above the tip of her wand. "When he reads the next issue of _Hogwarts Hearsay_, his opinion of me will change for having such amazing reporting skills, and his opinion of Evans will change even more."

"Oh, yeah," Anita nodded dramatically, "because of course he's believed everything you've ever written, along with the rest of the school."

"That's where _you_ come in, sister dearest!" Rita smiled so widely, it looked as if when she stopped, her mouth would make a snapping sound, like a stretched rubber glove. "The next story I have is fantastic, and completely outrageous! Anyone who hasn't been living at the bottom of the lake for the past ten years would never believe it. But the thing that's going to make it work . . . is _photographic evidence._"

"You want me to take a photograph," Anita said with disdain. "Well, you may not have realised this, Rita, but when you make stuff up, _you can't actually capture it on camera!_"

"Wrong, as usual," Rita sighed. "I want you to _make_ a photograph."

"What?"

"I know you can do it. You know the charms. You know everything about that odd little machine of yours."

"And? That doesn't mean I'll do it. You said it was in my interest." Rita put a finger to her chin in an act of sudden remembrance.

"So I did! Tell you what, your interest is: I won't tell mum about the photos you've sneakily been taking of Sirius Black, how about that?"

"You wouldn't." Anita narrowed her eyes.

"And why not?" The eleven-year-old changed tracks immediately. She slapped an innocent expression on her face, widening her eyes and pouting.

"You'd blackmail your own little sister?" she asked pitifully.

"Darling, I'd blackmail, curse, sabotage or steal anyone or anything to get James. I won't be beaten by anyone." At the end of her inspiring speech, Rita struck a pose with her chin in the air, pouting slightly. Then she wrinkled her nose. "Especially not anyone with hair _that_ colour."

Smiling in a self satisfied way, whilst her sister sulked, Rita sat herself on a desk and picked up Anita's camera.

"Now off you go," she said to her sister pleasantly, handing her the camera. "Run along and get you little potions ready. I'll give you my commission tomorrow. Oh, it's going to be _genius!_"

Anita snatched the strap of her machine and stomped furiously towards the door. She stopped level with her sister and turned her head towards her with a face like thunder.

"I hear she's beginning to _like_ him, you know."

Rita pinched her hard.

* * *

Wednesday found the Gryffindor Quidditch team in the changing rooms as usual, expecting to be worked to the very edge of their capabilities by James, who seemed to have gotten even more mental in the short space of time between the last game and then.

"Everybody get the sod out of those cubicles quickly!" he hollered into the changing rooms. "We have a mountain of stuff to do today! Those Slytherins aren't going to thrash themselves, you know!"

Lily frowned and bit her lip as she fiddled with the clasp of her necklace and skilfully opened the door of her cubicle using only her elbows. The damn thing just wouldn't come undone, and Lily sat down on the wooden bench against the wall, sighing in frustration.

"Hello!"

Lily jumped as someone sat down next to her. Tinkling, her chain swung around her neck as she turned to see whom it was. Sirius grinned at her, flashing his teeth.

"Hello," said Lily suspiciously, then she went back to fiddling with her clasp. Sirius leaned his elbows on his knees, but frowned when he saw a kind . . . of light, it was only there for a fraction of a second, then it was gone.

"Did you see that?" he asked, frowning.

"See what?" replied Lily in a low, distracted voice.

"Nothing. So, how are you, Lilo?" Sirius asked her, shrugging pleasantly. "We've not had a good old chat in ages, I feel. What's going on, then? How's life?"

"Fine," Lily replied, frowning in the oddness of this conversation.

"Nothing _interesting_ happen to you over the past few days?" Sirius continued agreeably. "Nothing even slightly amusing or entertaining? No? Nothing worth mentioning?"

"No," Lily said distractedly. Her clasp still wouldn't obey her will and Sirius's voice was beginning to irritate her.

"How's you relationship with Prongs these days?" Sirius asked, intent on not giving up.

Lily turned to face him with a frown.

"Are you still here?" she asked exasperatedly.

"You'd better get a move on, you know," he told her conversationally, "or Prongs will come in here and haul you out himself. He's completely gotten over that bathroom incident on Sunday."

Lily froze. Then she faced Sirius with her mouth agape.

"He _told_ you about that?" she asked incredulously.

"Nyes-s-s," Sirius smirked smugly. "Indeed he did." Lily closed her eyes and hung her head. Sirius leaned back against the wall in satisfaction. "It's quite funny if you think about it," he chatted, "and I fully commend you for your handling of the situation. See, me? I would have cursed the bloke's head off . . ."

Sirius was cut off abruptly when Lily suddenly seized the collar of his Quidditch uniform and dragged his face towards hers. The dark-haired boy swallowed in the green blaze of the Head Girl's irises, the pupils of which were small with concrete determination.

"I should probably say," Lily murmured in a low voice, "that if any mention of that gets out, make no mistake, I _will_ make sure that you spend the rest of your natural life peeing through a straw."

Sirius's eyebrows drifted upwards while his eyes squinted at the prospect of such immense pain.

"Thank you," he said weakly, as Lily released her grip on his collar and stood up, striding out of the changing room, with a smile on her face.

It took Sirius a moment to gather himself, frowning and blowing outwards in relief, until he got up and trotted after Lily into the sunlight of the Quidditch pitch.

Lily was still battling with her necklace when James turned around from watching Ainsley checking the elasticity charms on the Quaffles.

"My grandmother gave me her Christmas present last week," James was saying conversationally to the younger boy.

"Bit late for Christmas presents, isn't it?" asked Ainsley, while he bounced a Quaffle on the grass as his long dreadlocks bounced free.

"Yeah, well, my old nan is a bit dotty," James said, the tone of his voice clearly getting at something, "she lives on some massive farm in deepest, darkest suburbia. Herds sheep for a living."

"Oh really?" Ainsley replied, obviously not that interested.

"Do you know what she gave me for Christmas, Tall?" ask James.

"No."

"A pair of sheep shearers."

Ainsley stopped bouncing the ball.

"All right, all right," he sighed, dropping it, and raising his hands to his head. "I'll tie it up, stop getting shirty."

James turned at the sounds of Lily's and Sirius's footsteps approaching.

"_There_ you are," he said. Without waiting to be asked, he turned Lily around by the shoulders and took the clasp from her fingers, frowning.

Sirius squinted when he thought he saw a slight flash of white light again and heard a faint mechanical noise. Looking around, he saw nothing and so dismissed it once more. Lily's chain shook slightly as the Head Boy fiddled with it. "I was beginning to wonder whether you'd gotten lost. What were you both _doing_ in there?"

Lily was just about to say 'talking', when Sirius smirked at her and said "Snogging."

Lily's necklace stopped shaking abruptly.

"What?" James asked oddly, as Lily smiled.

"Snogging," she repeated, while Sirius stuffed a fist in his mouth. "You know, broom closet activity, getting off with each other, pulling for England . . ."

Lily felt her necklace tighten slightly for a moment, then she heard a snapping sound, and soon after, a large 'thump' behind her.

Eyebrow raised, Sirius peered round Lily to see the form of his best friend spread eagled on the grass and completely unconscious.

"Wupsie. Man down."

* * *

Quidditch practice that Wednesday was decidedly cancelled, as Lily, Verity and Sirius sat in the Hospital Wing on both sides of the bed that the Head Boy was currently sprawled on.

It had taken them half an hour to drag him up all those stairs because none of them happened to have their wands with them. Once they had arrived in Madam Pomfrey's territory, the nurse had thrown a fit.

"He _passed out_? With _no explanation_?"

"Well, Lily and I might have played a joke on him by telling him that we were conducting a sordid affair in the Gryffindor changing rooms," Sirius had told her.

"Yes, well, I think it best not to enervate him after such . . . trauma," Madam Pomfrey had decided, while Lily cringed at the humiliation.

Now the three Gryffindor seventh years were assembled around the bed on which their comrade was stretched out on. Lily was unsuccessfully trying to pry her broken necklace from James clutches, Verity was watching with mild amusement and Sirius was looking rather bored by the whole situation, as though he'd been in his current situation a thousand times before.

"I dunno _why_ she doesn't just enervate him," he remarked offhandedly while Madam Pomfrey was out of earshot. "It's hardly a very _serious _trauma, if you think about it. I mean, who _wouldn't_ want to snog me in the changing rooms?"

Glancing at each other, both Lily and Verity raised their hands.

"Well, I mean . . . you know . . ." Sirius dithered, and then gave up. Lily went back to battling with the industrial strength grip James had on her chain.

"Hey, Lilo," Sirius grinned from across the bed, "if you want him awake, why don't you try your mouth-to-mouth method again?"

Lily looked up shock.

"He told you about _that too?_" she demanded, a blush crawling its traitorous way up her cheeks.

"Nyes-s-s, indeed he did," Sirius grinned gleefully.

Scandalised, Lily stared at the impassive face of the Head Boy for a moment, before sighing and letting her head drop forward onto his chest with a thump.

"Twat, twat, twat . . ." she could be heard muttering, hammering her forehead against his chest with every word.

"Excuse me, yes, hi," Verity said from Sirius's other side, "when was this? What are you talking about? What happened? . . . _What?_"

"I'll tell you later," Sirius said dismissively.

"No you will not!" Lily exclaimed, jerking her head up.

"Face it, Lilo, it was going to get around sooner or later."

"Yes, all because of this arsehole," Lily replied, banging her fist onto James's chest for good measure.

Sirius watched her for a moment.

"What exactly is it that you hate about Prongs again?" he asked, levelly, and Verity looked at her as well. Lily, on the other hand looked back at them as if they were both as stupid as each other.

"Wha- I . . . If you think for one . . . it's . . ." Lily began, and began again. "I don't know!" she said exasperatedly, before she realised how stupid she sounded. "It's just the general way he acts, all right?"

"Yes, but what is there in particular about him that contributes to this '_general way he acts_', then?"

Lily didn't say anything, for the simple reason that she could not think of anything to say. Her first thought had been to say something along the lines of 'I don't have to answer any of your idiotic questions, you hopelessly irritating nosey parker!' but that would mean Sirius would win, because she wouldn't have proved her immense detest for Potter. Or she could have said something to the effect of 'I think you'll find there is nothing "particular" implied in the word "general", Black, you freak' but that still would not have proved her (completely valid) point.

So she did what he asked. She tried to think of something she hated about Potter, and the answers came easily.

She hated the way he was nasty to people for no apparent reason.

No, wait, he'd stopped doing that, she hadn't seen him do that in ages.

She hated the way he gave himself an excuse to laugh at other people when he played cruel practical jokes on them.

No, hold on, these days all his stunts seemed to have himself and the rest of the Marauders as the butt of their jokes, and those that didn't were always targeted at people who undoubtedly deserved it.

She hated the way he was an insufferable show off about absolutely bloody everything that he was good at, which, incidentally, was everything.

Oh wait, he didn't quite seem to show off so much anymore, not at all in fact. And the only thing he talked a lot about was Quidditch, which he had a right to, because he was team captain and he knew what he was talking about.

She hated the way he arrogantly obliterated any resemblance of order in his hair.

But now it didn't seem to her as much of a stuck up gesture as much as a nervous habit, really.

Terrifyingly, Lily's mind went utterly blank, completely clean, as clear as the sky on a midsummer's day and hollow as a well of the abyss.

There was _nothing there_. Absolutely naught to back her up, nil to prove herself with and zip to say.

"Come on, I'll tell you all about it on the way to the Fat Lady," Sirius murmured to Verity, and they both stood up quietly and crept towards the door. As they arrived in the corridor outside Sirius's eyes flashed for the third time that day and a light, clicking noise pricked his ears.

"Did you see that? That flash?" he asked urgently and Verity shook her head, while in the Hospital Wing their Head Girl just stared, seemingly at nothing, looking as though everything she knew has just imploded colourfully away into oblivion.

Sometime during the night, Lily did in fact realise that she had been staring at nothing and that Sirius and Verity had left. She looked at James on the bed in front of her, his fingers still clenched around her necklace, snoring gently.

The candles in the Hospital Wing had long dimmed down to cast a translucent hue over the stark white sheets and the candlelight glinted off James's glasses as his eyelashes flickered slightly beneath them.

Lily stared at his face for a long time during which everything inside her head went through a long and laborious process of consequential shifting, like one of those sliding jigsaw puzzles in a little plastic grid that you got in Christmas crackers every year. One little piece of information had changed, and now everything had to be moved about to try and find an arrangement where everything made sense again.

Such, unfortunately, was Lily's mind.

According to previous records, Lily had been informed that James was a nasty bugger and therefore she hated him.

It was all very logical.

An amendment that had been recently inserted told her that James was, contrary to former information, not a nasty bugger. Therefore she couldn't hate him.

According to previous records, Lily had been informed that James was arrogant and thrived on humiliating others. Therefore she had no right to enjoy his company.

An amendment that had been recently inserted told her that James was actually a very caring and pleasant person. Therefore she was completely free to enjoy his company as much as she liked.

According to previous records, Lily had been informed that James had an immense sense of pride and ego and this was the reason he had not given up on her all these years.

An amendment that had been recently inserted told her that James's pride was, in fact, non-existent (reasoning sources suggested that this was probably because she had been so wretched to him all these years). Therefore he couldn't have persisted shamelessly to save his own face.

Why then? Why had he not given up? Why had he not tried to save himself at least _some_ of his pride? Why had he stuck it through all her hysterical tantrums and frosty glares and life threatening hexes? Maybe, and it was a long shot, but maybe he had been genuine?

Maybe it had been like he'd been telling her all this time?

Maybe he did love her?

Lily blinked, and whereas before she had been watching James shyly out of the corners of her eyes, she turned her head to look at him clearly. Everything in her head had clicked back into place in an entirely new arrangement, and in this new arrangement everything made a lot more sense. She could now explain why he'd been so nice to her this past year. She could now explain why he'd been so nice to everyone else this past year. Moreover, she could now explain why he hadn't decided that being nice to her was a complete waste of his time.

Maybe he did love her?

In this new light, Lily thought, James Potter was something of a fantastic wizard. He was her intellectual equal, he cared about her well-being more than anything else, he had a habit of always saying the right thing when it really mattered, he was the lucky owner of more than his fair share of charm and charisma and despite that dreadful temper of his, it really was quite well placed.

And he had a sense of humour as well, which Lily was in all honesty, quite glad of.

Because she suspected that when someone you had loved for a long time and who had despised you for a long time finally wanted to apologise and be friends, a sense of humour would definitely be a useful thing to have.

Lily curled up in her chair, her cheek resting against her knees, still gazing at the Head Boy's face. When she finally closed her eyes in a bid to sleep, all she could think about was the last thing she had seen before she slipped off into a doze.

The thing was, Lily used to think she had him all sorted out. All in all, he was the opposing team and her strategies and tactics were formulated on the target of beating his arse to a pulp.

It was just that . . . she hadn't even realised when he'd switched teams.

* * *

**a/n **My week off school was fantastic, so lovely and relaxing. Horrah. I also got another chapter done, as you can see. Sadly school starts again on tomorrow, so I expect the next update won't be as quick as this one. (Sniff.)

A lot of people seem to think that I switch the teams Gryffindor was playing against half way through the chapter. I made a mistake in chapter 9 where is says 'Next chappy', saying that Gryffindor were to play Hufflepuff in the next chapter. However, Gryffindor have already played Hufflepuff, and James beat Amos Diggory's arse, thank you very much. ;) I fixed it at the end of chapter 9 where it says the wrong thing, but there's nothing in chapter 10 that says Gryffindor are playing Hufflepuff, they are playing Ravenclaw. Sorry about that, I got confused.

**Flame Of Desire**: Haha, thanks I'm really glad you liked it.

**GlassBroomstick**: I know, James is a bit . . . slow when it comes to certain things. Guess what? Since my week off, I've written 3,728 words. Score. Too bad school starts on Monday.

**drumer girl**: Thank you very much, sweetie, I hope to post soon.

**MissMrprk**: Oh! Yeah, I had a suspicion that that was what it was. Then I thought well, it could be anything. Well I'm smiling because you reviewed. :).

**The Big Dance**: OMG, don't stress yourself. I'm quite worried about the medical effects my chapters have on people. I hope it doesn't affect your game. I don't play sports, I only watch them. :)

**FrighteninglyObsessed**: Yeah, I tend to stay within the PG-13 zone, me. I dunno what it is, but Harry Potter is supposedly a children's book, so something about R-rated fics doesn't quite fit for me, but whatever pops your shutter, I guess. I don't want Rita to die at my party! I just want her humiliated. I may want to use her in another fic. :D Keep reading, my luff.

**Thunder's Shadow**: Wow! You added me to your C2! I'm so honoured. (Tear.) Thanks you so much for you lovely review.

**Unregistered-Animagus**: Oh, I'm sorry to get thins stuck in your head. Oh, well. Thanks you for saying nice things in your review. And for putting me on your favourites. (Hug)

**ElizabethMorgana**: Haha, that would be good. Skeeter and Rys joining forces. You know, I think they belong to the same 'James Potter Appreciation Society'.

**walkingcensure**: I love James too. Yummy.

**LJstagflower4e**: Thanks so much, luff. I was always a fan of the subtle humour. Anyway, keep reading!

**soccerchic1989**: Urg, chores, they keep me from writing, good luck.

**Miss Lady Marauder**: Ahh! You stole them! Can I have them back for my story? Please? I swear writing is the only we'll get up to. ;)

**Call-Sugarhigh-Police**: Thank you very much. You seem to like it. I love the fog on the glasses.

**helloshanti2**: Slow motion, brilliant! Yes, at the end of chapter 9, I said that Gryffindor would be playing Hufflepuff, but I got confused and should have put Ravenclaw. I fixed it now, but in chapter 10, Gryffindor are always playing Ravenclaw, because they already played Hufflepuff before. (Smacks own head)

**siriusforeva**: Go James! (Waves pompoms)

**Jillian Jacobs**: Really? I'm sure there are more fics like this out there.

**Ethuiliel**: Yay for fluff! Um, well, there's lots of luff at the Sugarquill which is sugerquill and then dot net. Anything by JamieBell is fab. And there's lots of fluff in my one shots, plus there's lots of them, they're mostly H/G and L/J.

**limbo-gal**: Yes, Lily is getting empowered. :D Go Lily.

**Tsusetsu**: Urgh, that's disgusting. I don't want you to kill her, just to humiliate her. I might wanna use her in another fic, and I can't do that if she's dead, can I?

**Anne-Janet**: (Cringes) that's the grossest thing I have ever heard. Urg. Congrats on getting internet. Huzzah!

**Lady of Masbolle**: Wow, that was impressive. But don't give me all your ideas before the actual party. Thank you very much for the review!

**The ORIGINAL Meathead**: I think Rys was just there to get beaten, sorry about that. I'm glad you liked that bit in the bathroom. Keep reading!

**snazzysnez**: It was Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw, but I made a mistake in chapter 9 when I said they were playing Hufflepuff. They already played Hufflepuff, so sorry about that. I'm glad you liked the chappy.

**SnakeEyesHannah**: Thanks for saying nice things about the Quidditch match. I could see it in my head. It must be because I watch so much sport. :D

**Tracey**: Well, it's true! I'm always more confident when my hair looks halfway decent. When it's doing its weird anti-gravity thing, I just wanna put a bag over my head. :D And thank for writing a whole other review to compliment my matches. (hugs)

**mika-mitch**: Yeah, I get what the phrase means. I was just messing with you to make it seem like you were trying to put me in jail ;). I guess I was exaggerating when I said it was a musical. It's just the crowd spontaneously bursting into song reminded me of a musical and someone left me a review that just said 'andrew Lloyd webber much?' so I thought it would be a nice tribute to them, whoever they were.

**LostConscience**: I'm glad you liked it, keep reading, honey.

**Alcapacien**: Thank you so much, luff.

**Queen Elizabeth I**: I made a mistake. At the end of chapter 9, I said that Gryffindor would be playing Hufflepuff, but I got confused and should have put Ravenclaw. I fixed it now, but in chapter 10, Gryffindor are always playing Ravenclaw, because they already played Hufflepuff before. Sorry. Thanks for the review.

**shortywithbrains**: Thank you very much, honey. Don't worry, Rita will get what's coming to her.

**Flavagurl**: Thank you so much. Maybe I should steal your idea and put James in a bath in this fic. Oh well, I already had his coming out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel.

**FCK all that's missing is U**: What can I say? It seems James is an old-fashioned prude. (Giggle.)

**Elspeth Renee**: Random talks about hair are great. :D

**IamSiriusgrl**: Thank you very much, I'm glad you think so, honey!

**razzle-dazzle-me**: I love your name.

**newsieduckling**: Thank you so much. You flatter me!

**Sushinase**: I love that you review the fic while reading. It's great. I should do that more often. How do I come up with this stuff? I don't know. It's just seems like something Marauder!Remus would do. Why not auction off the Quidditch pitch for eight sickles:D

**charbar**: Hey, how have your holidays been going? You wish you knew someone like James? Don't we all, honey, don't we all. :)

**Victoria87**: I think he did like seeing her in the bath, it's just that he's a hopeless prude. :D I suppose it's true what they say about the British, my friends and I went underwear shopping today and my friend said to me 'Underwear shops make me nervous.' I laughed at her. Oh, and feel free to use the idea, the only thing is, my character is not actually Madam Hooch. I thought it would be a bit weird with the canon. Madam Hooch would be a bit friendlier to Harry is she was his mum's best friend. I think my character is some relation to Madam Hooch though, so you wouldn't actually be copying my idea if you wrote JK's character into a fic. Be sure to send me the link to your fic once it's up.

**Denierure**: Thanks very much for the review! I've been writing a lot.

**Naidel**: Wymplethwaite, Wymplethwaite,  
The way he plays ain't simple, mate. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Amber Tinted**: Thank so much, luff.

**kiwislushie**: Haha, I'm glad my chappy provoked that sort of reaction. Very good.

**Phillippa of the Phoenix**: Your gold clubs idea was stunning. Save it for the party.

**vickiicky**: (SMILE) I'm glad you liked the chappy. Keep reading. (Mwah)

**Next chappy:**

Lily wakes up in a considerably more comfortable position than she went to sleep in

The window panes of Hogwarts get a right rattling

All those flashes take their toll on Sirius's mental health

Lots of Luff, your back-to-school-tomorrow author


	12. Smile for the Camera

**Twelve – Smile for the Camera . . .**

It was at about ten past six the following morning, when James woke up with a violent jolt from the most bizarre dream he'd ever experienced. He and Lily had been practising Quidditch on the Hogwarts Quidditch pitch, getting along very well without any psychotic ex boyfriends, fraudulent news articles or embarrassing bathroom entrances to ruin things. Yes, they had been getting on famously when, quite suddenly, Lily and her broomstick had begun to float away. Racking his brains, James couldn't say exactly where she had been going; it was in a generally 'away' direction, but when he had tried to follow her, he found himself drifting towards the ground.

Next moment, the dream had changed, and he and the Marauders had been sprinting full tilt down a secret corridor, pursued by Filch, but in the back of his mind there had been this panicked, wretched thought that cried 'Lily has floated away!'

Sitting up and looking about him, James discovered that he was in the Hospital Wing, and that Lily had not in fact, floated away, but was curled up in the chair next to his bed, sleeping with her head on her knees and her Quidditch uniform still on, even her arm pads.

_Of course she hadn't snogged Padfoot_, James thought to himself. Sirius was someone who Lily filed under the group title '_Kill before kiss'_, along with Amos Diggory, Snape and well . . . himself.

Even so, the Head Boy couldn't stop himself from reaching over and gently pushing her hair back from her face. When it tinkled, he saw her chain was still grasped in the fingers of his other hand, the clasp broken. Oh well, it gave him an excuse to buy her another one. James always looked on the bright side.

He set the chain down on the hospital bed's table and scrambled up from the bed. Lily squirmed in her sleep as he picked her up by under her back and her knees and put her down carefully on the mattress, taking off her arm and shin pads while he was at it. Lily struggled all the way and James had to avert his face to stop his eyes getting poked out at one point, but once she was safely laid on the bed and James was collapsed on the chair, she made a little satisfied sighing noise and clawed at one of the pillows, hugging it to her cheek.

James sighed as well, taking off his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose sleepily. Across the room, the curtains of the Hospital Wing drew back automatically, and the stark white room suddenly went a faint yellowish colour from the early morning sunlight.

James watched the dozing redhead wistfully until she began to stir.

Lily woke in a much more comfortable position than she had gone to sleep in. Her legs didn't seemed cramped anymore and her head was laid on something soft. She slowly identified this thing as a pillow, which was a definite improvement on her knees.

The odd thing was, the pillow she was lying on smelt of something familiar. It was nice, but stuck out in her mind. Snuggling into it happily, she tried to think what it was.

The poor pillow went flying when Lily suddenly realised what it reminded her of. Sitting up as fast as the mechanism of a mouse trap, Lily wondered in incredulousness why in the world of magic she would be sleeping on a pillow that smelt just like James's hair. She squinted in the sunlight through the window and located herself as being in the Hospital Wing and James as being in the chair beside the bed she was currently on.

He smiled at her lopsidedly.

"Morning," he said cheerfully.

Lily blinked and looked back down at the white sheets that creased under her hands. She would have said 'good morning' back, but somehow she couldn't bring herself to do it. It was odd when she had only just seen him and she couldn't think of anything horrid that used to jump into her head when she usually caught sight of him. Before last night, all that she could have related his face to was the reasons as to how much she hated him.

Now there was nothing there . . . all the space that had been previously filled with bad memories was taken up only by the sight of his present lopsided smile.

James tipped his head sideways.

"Are you all right, Lilo?" he asked, frowning slightly.

_She hadn't even realised when he'd switched teams._

Lily looked up and said something she hadn't meant to.

"You switched."

"Yeah, you looked a bit squashed in the chair and I thought it was only fair since I was awake and after I broke your necklace and everything . . ."

Lily wasn't sure whether she was glad or slightly disappointed that he'd taken it the wrong way. That charming smile of his was still stuck in her head. As she stared thoughtfully at the white sheets, a series of memories of that same smile flashed across her mind's eye as if they were on a film projector. It was the same smile that he'd flashed outside the horseless carriages after he'd kissed her hand. It was the same one he had on his face after their first Quidditch match and he'd kissed her outside the Heads' Dorms. Lily remembered it from when he'd carried her up her stairs and put her to bed, when they'd gone outside that night on Christmas Day, and from when she'd unwrapped the broomstick he gave the next morning.

She hadn't noticed it at the time, but every time she'd let him be especially nice to her, every time she'd humoured him or every time she'd shown him the slightest kindness, he'd flashed her that charming half smile, as if he were half shy or half embarrassed or half afraid that she'd curse him.

James was very confused. Lily was acting most strangely, kind of thoughtfully, really. She'd look at him as if she wanted to say something for a few moments, then she'd look back down at the mattress and finger the sheets until she looked up again. It was like that way she'd act with Verity or Remus, but somehow shyer.

Lily had never been shy with James Potter before, nor had she ever been friendly.

"Lilo, are you sure you're all right?"

Lily looked up again and stopped fiddling with the sheets as she watched his eyes flicker and a crease form down his forehead. For the life of her she couldn't think of what to say.

"It's nothing," she said quietly. James's frown deepened. Wordlessly, he stood up and sat down again on the hospital bed next to her, then he fixed her with a stare as thick as swamp water. Lily averted her gaze nervously, wondering what she could possibly say to him, or indeed, if she could say anything to him at all.

James gave up. If he had learnt anything about Lily, it was that if she didn't want to talk to you, you wouldn't hear the sound of her voice again for a long time.

"Fine, fine," he said, raising his eyebrows in a shrug-like expression, "you don't have to tell me, but at least give me a hug," he teased, holding out his arms.

Three seconds later, he decided there was something very, very wrong with the Head Girl. The Lily he knew would have cast an irritated look in his general direction and said something along the lines of 'Shove off . . . shove off and drop dead, Potter.'

But she didn't say anything. She just looked down again, and leaned towards him and James was so shocked, it was a moment before he realised he was supposed to do the same thing and that was how the whole 'hug' idea worked.

Wondering at his good luck, James leaned over, but recoiled sharply when he felt a pain on his chest. Lily pulled back too, giving him an odd look.

"Ouch," frowned James in confusion, and pulled up the shirt of his Quidditch uniform. "Lily, would you happen to have any idea about this?"

Lily cringed as the absence of shirt revealed a rather large red mark in an interesting shape on the Head Boy's chest, already starting to bruise outwards from the inside.

"Er . . . yes, that . . . may have been me," she admitted.

"Blimey, you must hit me a lot if I can't even keep track of them," marvelled James with a smile

"No, you were unconscious," Lily informed him.

"So I irritate you even when comatose," remarked James, amused. "Nice."

"No, it was just Sirius," said Lily, shaking her head and trying to think of something she could change the subject to.

"So _I_ got battered for something _he_ did?" James said, mockingly scandalised.

"No, no," Lily said, waving her hands at the same time as shaking her head. Oh, good grief, she was going to have to explain. "What happened was: Sirius told me that you mentioned the mouth-to-mouth incident to him."

James bit his lip.

"Ah," he said, with a single, worried nod.

"Yes," said Lily, hoping this conversation would not go too far, "so I hit you . . . a lot . . . and apparently caused extensive internal bleeding."

"I see," James said, in a monotone that tried valiantly to cover up his bewilderment. It was fantastic not to be beaten by neither fist nor wand, but this didn't make sense at all. "So what happened then? I feel as if I have somehow missed out on a vital chapter of my life."

"I . . . er, can't remember," Lily said, and her voice sounded so blatantly untrue in her own ears, that she sighed.

"Alright, Sirius asked me what exactly I hated about you," she mumbled to the space of white sheet between them.

"Oh, what a tremendous speech you must have made," grinned James, "what a vastly monstrous list you must have had to complain about. You know, frankly I'm surprised you're not still rattling on about it now."

That was when Lily hit him with the most determined stare, straight in the eye, and said in the most earnest voice she'd ever used, "Potter, I couldn't think of anything at all."

If James hadn't already been sitting down, he would have needed to.

"I . . ." he began but didn't finish. "You . . . I mean . . . er . . . pardon?"

Lily went back to staring at the sheets as her nerve failed her.

"I said I couldn't think of anything," she repeated downwards, "nothing at all, OK? My mind went completely blank!" James continued to stare as the small redhead's voice began to crack. "There wasn't anything, James, there was absolutely _nothing_ to justify how I acted towards you this year, _nothing _to excuse how bossy, moody, irritable, angry, ghastly, mean, and downright nasty I have been to you."

Lily sniffed and dragged her palm across her cheek.

"Nothing at all," she finished miserably.

James blinked.

This was it.

This was what he'd been waiting for.

What he'd been waiting for, for all of three years.

_Three years_ he'd wanted this.

Or at least he had supposed so.

It wasn't as if he didn't still love Lily. When he tried to trace back to where exactly he had fallen in love with her, his mind only came up with that day by the lake, where she had stood up for someone under his cruelty (albeit someone who deserved it), where she had frowned on the behaviour that he had been so proud of and where she degraded him down to below the level of a giant freshwater mollusc.

Ever since that day, he had been dreaming of some sort of recognition, some sort of small sign of approval.

Little by little, he forgot that he was supposed to be the most popular boy at Hogwarts. He forgot that he was supposed to be arrogant and rude and self-important. He forgot that at least fifteen girls whistled, stared or flirted while he walked the stretch of one corridor. He forgot he was allowed to curse people and make fun of their weaknesses because he could get away with it. Somehow, he even forgot he was tall and handsome, fearless and talented, heroic and sportingly able.

Because as long as Lily didn't speak to him, he stopped telling himself he was all those things. And as long as Lily didn't think he was all those things, he somehow stopped _believing_ them himself.

So essentially, ever since the Day of Snivellus's Pants, he had been waiting for this kind of recognition.

Only now, it somehow did not taste as sweet as he had imagined, what with Lily crying and all.

If all of these events had transpired two years ago, when James had not forgotten all those things, he probably would have been jumping from one hospital bed to another and shooting sparks up in the air with joy at his triumph.

However, these events were transpiring two years later, when a lot had changed and at that moment, all James wanted to do was give Lily her cuddle.

Quite suddenly, Lily found one hand one way round her shoulders and another the other way round. Then she found herself being pulled towards the Head Boy into one of his very best, very tightest, very heartfelt hugs, where it seemed to her a little like being bundled up in a lovely thick duvet.

Sniffing and smiling slightly despite herself, Lily closed her eyes and curled her arms into her chest because James had caught her whilst she was trying to dab both eyes at once. James's smell reminded her faintly of toasted chestnuts and brandy.

It was quite a long hug. Exactly how long they stayed there, neither of them cared to say. All James cared about was that Lily was upset, and all Lily cared about was that James was giving her a hug.

After a while of Lily sniffing and wiping her eyes on the backs of her forefingers, James said, "Don't cry."

Lily sniffed defiantly. "I am _not_ crying." Even so, she took the hanky that he offered her when he pulled away reluctantly.

"Haven't you already got one of my hankies?" smiled James, "I shall run out soon."

Lily laughed quietly through her nose, leaning against the headboard of the bed in a teary, good-natured sulk, and threw the balled-up handkerchief back at its owner. James seemed not to be too bothered that she had been wretched to him, and unfairly, but then again, that made perfect sense. He had never been bothered before, so why start now?

Even so, Lily felt the low, bubbling thickness of guilt in her bottom of her stomach as she leant her elbows on her bent knees and fiddled with her nails. James only watched her through the filter of the early morning sunlight. It was a bit of a fantastic feeling, knowing that the girl opposite him didn't detest him so much anymore. After a while, she looked up from her fiddling.

"Was I _very_ horrid to you?" she asked, in badly projected casualness. James wrinkled his nose in dismissal.

"Nah." Lily raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

"I _was_ there," she reminded him ruefully. He smiled and gave a long, continuous shrug.

"Maybe," he told her. "All right, yes, but I did deserve it."

Lily went back to her fiddling, but it was slower as she shook her head in the negative.

"No," she murmured to her fingers, "you changed. You changed quite a bit." James only watched her. "You switched teams," Lily whispered.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing."

James took a deep breath.

"So . . . are we friends?" he asked hopefully. Lily looked at him, nervous.

"I don't know," she said, "are we?"

"Lilo," said James seriously, "my invitation of friendship has always been yours, you've just never taken it."

Symbolically holding out his hand to her, James tried, but failed to stop himself grinning manically when Lily crawled forward to take it. Throwing all personal restraint out of the window, James rushed forwards to hug her, squeezing her so hard that Lily was thinking, with any luck, she'd come out of it taller. She clutched at his neck, actually quite enjoying being hugged to the death by James.

"So we are friends, then?" she said through a smile, her forehead squashed against his cheek.

"I should say so, yes," James replied. "We are friends."

Friends, he thought, which was definitely the furthest he and Lily were ever going to get. _Friends is quite enough, Potter_, he told himself, _you may be in love with her, but it'd be downright stupid to ruin this. For Merlin's sake, get a grip and don't send everything down the drain now. Just friends, just friends, just friends . . ._

Over the next twenty seconds or so, James found it increasingly difficult to keep repeating these words to himself over and over again. The reason for this could have been because the redhead in his embrace had raised her head and by some convenient arrangement had ended up with her face around two inches away from his.

Yes, things looked quite different from this point of view.

It seemed words had failed them both. James swallowed nervously while he watched Lily's eyelashes flicker as they skipped from his own eyes to what could possibly have been his lip. As words began to fail James, so did the ability to think logically. All consequences and foresight abandoned him as his lips drifted down towards hers.

Bang.

It is common, when one is not thinking to their full capacity for many things to be left up to instinctive reaction. Instinct told James that to kiss Lily would be very dangerous and therefore, when he heard the doors to the Hospital Wing burst open with a thunderous bump, instinct made him startled to the core. The noise made him jump, release Lily faster than the tail of a Basilisk and tumble off the Hospital Wing bed with shock, in that order.

Lily meanwhile, seemed to be attempting to collect herself and was blinking in a stunned way as the rest of the Marauders plus Verity dashed across the room to where James was scrambling up from the white tiles.

The newly arrived party looked as if they had run a good long way, but James hardly noticed this because he was still trying to work out whether or not the last twenty seconds had actually happened. Had he and Lily really suddenly gone from being in the shaky stages of a new friendship to being on the verge of kissing, or was James's brain misfiring from being unconscious all night?

However, another demand on the Head Boy's attention presented itself when Remus bent over, leaning on the arm of the beside chair and tried to stop panting.

"By Merlin," he gasped, as Peter looked as though he was moments away from collapse. "By Merlin, do we have huge news for you two . . . Why were you on the floor just now, Prongs?"

James stared.

_Because I was just about to kiss the love of my life, the gorgeous girl you see before you, who has just told me I have been redeemed fantastically in her eyes and wants to be friends but maybe, sort of, was just about to kiss me back,_ he thought.

"No reason," he said aloud.

"Nevermind that!" Verity dismissed impatiently, "You honestly won't believe it! Honest to anything, you won't . . ."

By the slightly panicked tone of her friend's voice, Lily was just beginning to worry, when she noticed that last Marauder, Sirius, crouched on the floor of the Hospital Wing in the corner furthest away from any windows. He was acting very peculiarly, shooting shifty glances in all directions, shielding his eyes both hands and muttering.

"It's crazier than setting up a tent on the Gringotts' cart tracks!" Verity continued, waving her arms about. "It's ludicrousness on paper! It's . . . well, look!"

A heavy piece of parchment landed on the bed in front of Lily. It was an edition of _Hogwarts Hearsay_.

Far out into the Forbidden Forest, a flock of birds took their startled flight at the sound of the loudest scream ever to have graced Hogwarts Castle in all of its millennium of existence. Windowpanes in the Hospital Wing rattled.

Let it simply be said that Lily had ample grounds on which to be screaming. For instead of the newsletter being filled from top to bottom in print, the entire top half was taken up by a photograph. This photograph featured Lily. It also featured . . .

"Is that _Snape?_" demanded James, his eye wide in horror. "And are you **_kissing?_**"

Indeed they were. And under the photograph was the following article:

**_Hogwarts Hearsay  
_**_Issue 3, Volume 1  
__Thursday 29th April _

**_Fraternising with the Enemy!_**

_This photograph was snapped recently in the dead of night, and as you may have guessed, shows our own Head Girl, Lily Evans in quite busy circumstances with a member of the Slytherin Quidditch team, Severus Snape. _

_After her initiation in the Gryffindor Quidditch team early this school year, Miss Evans has seemingly been leading quite the scandalous life. Along with allegations that she was dumped by her long term boyfriend, Amos Diggory, after being caught snogging her fellow head student, James Potter, there were then rumours that she had offered to sabotage one of Gryffindor's matches in order to save Hufflepuff and win Mr Diggory back. _

_Now is seems she has been becoming quite familiar with Gryffindor's next opponents, the Slytherins. Mr Snape (pictured), known throughout the school for being somewhat antisocial, is here seen acting a great deal friendlier than usual toward the Gryffindor Seeker. _

_Of course, Mr Snape is also known for his long term rivalry with James Potter, who also, coincidently, has a long term rivalry with a certain Mr Diggory from Hufflepuff. Students of Hogwarts may be seeing a trend in Miss Evans's romantic dealings and could be forgiven for thinking that the Head Girl wishes to deliberately spite Mr Potter. We at _Hogwarts Hearsay_ again implore Mr Potter to rethink his blatant affections for the Head Girl because she is obviously nothing but an evil little slut and is only out to calculatingly hurt him. _

_Let's face it, why else would someone voluntarily snog Snape? _

After running her throat dry with screaming, Lily had pulled her knees up on top of the mattress and had scrambled away from the piece of parchment as far as the bed headboard, the sheets crumpling beneath her clawing feet.

"I don't believe it," she was muttering, "How could this happen? _Why_ would this happen? _What did I ever do to deserve this?_"

"That photo is like feeding Skelegrow to a jellyfish," remarked Verity, "It is physically, morally and aesthetically _wrong_."

In a motion that was startlingly quick, Lily seized James's arm so that he had to bend down to avoid falling over.

"Please, oh Merlin, please, for the love of all things magic," Lily begged him, "take it away and burn it!"

"That won't do much good, I'm afraid," Remus said sympathetically.

"Yeah, she's been sticking them up at night," Peter added, "They're everywhere!"

Lily emitted something that sounded a bit like the dying scream of a dormouse. James, who predicted by the grip she had on his arm that he wasn't going anywhere soon, neither would he have any inclination to, sat down on the mattress next to her.

"Shh, Lilo, it's OK. Nobody would believe it if you paid them to," he said quietly, using his free arm to reach across and hold her other shoulder.

"But it's **there!**" Lily cried in horror, "Look at it! It's hideous! How did she _do_ that?" Verity frowned.

"Come to think of it, how _did_ she do that?" the blonde said, picking up the parchment from the mattress and scrutinizing it thoughtfully.

"Oh, there are various potions and charms and things you can do to make people in photos do whatever you like," Remus said, "but, I don't know. The thing is . . ."

"When have you or I ever seen Skeeter with a camera, that's what the thing is," James said, looking up from the Head Girl for a brief moment.

"That's true," Remus nodded, sitting down on Lily's other side. "Most of the magic is very complicated, and anyone who wants to carry it out has to be very experienced with cameras and all that photographic business. Somehow 'Skeeter the scarab' doesn't quite strike me as the sort of person who would spend two years researching the finer points of photography."

"What does that mean, then?" asked Peter.

"It means that the scarab is no longer working alone," Verity replied, disgustedly. She held up the article and made to tear it straight down the middle for her best friend's benefit, but Lily looked up at the photograph and frowned.

"Wait!" she exclaimed, snatching the parchment from Verity. "Look!"

"No, thanks," James wrinkled his nose and averted his eyes.

"No, here," Lily said pointing. The photograph contained both the Head Girl and Snape, both in their respective Quidditch uniforms, and, as mentioned, their two photographic selves were kissing quite passionately. James had to fight hard not to heave with horror or disgust or both.

Lily was pointing to the neck of herself in the photo. Around it was the necklace that was currently lying on the beside table with the clasp snapped. However, the necklace was doing something very strange. It seemed to be floating against gravity because the chain was halfway up Lily's neck and the clasp looked as if it was being held up by an invisible string from behind the redhead. It was also shaking slightly, as if someone was fiddling with the invisible string.

"I know when this person took my photograph!" Lily exclaimed, "it was when you were trying to fix my necklace, Potter! Right after Sirius and I were talking in the Changing rooms! They must have cut you out, but left my necklace in!"

"Oh, yeah . . ." James said slowly.

"That explains why Sirius was saying he was seeing . . ." Lily began, but trailed off to lean sideways, peering around Verity to see Sirius. Everyone in the Hospital Wing turned to look at the Marauder, who had not said anything (well, anything completely coherent) in the past fifteen minutes. He was still crouched in the corner of the room with his head bent slightly and his hands on either side of his face.

"Flashes . . ." he was mumbling, "flashes . . . (mumble, mumble) . . . flashes are everywhere . . . (mumble) . . . stay _away _from the light . . ."

Lily narrowed her eyes and looked sideways at Remus.

"Is he alright?" she asked in a low voice.

"He's been like that ever since last night," Remus told the party. "Didn't sleep a wink, avoids windows like he avoids the library and won't stop muttering long enough to tell me what's wrong."

"He asked me about these 'flashes' last night as well." Verity asked. "Do you think someone's been taking photos of him, then?"

"That'll probably be it," nodded Remus grimly.

"So," James said, "someone's been taking photos of _him_, and someone's been taking photos of _you_. Chances are: it's the same person, right?"

"Right," Lily assented.

"So this is what I suggest," James continued, "I don't know about you, but I need a shower." Lily nodded glumly. "So we'll all go to our dorm and work out what to do from there, alright?" Lily nodded again and stood up, drifting slowly towards the door. Half way across the room, James put an arm around her because she looked so miserable.

"Hey," he said quietly to her, and kissed the top of her head, "cheer up. I think I have an idea about what to do." Behind them, Verity abruptly stopped walking when her best friend neither cursed, hit nor shouted at the Head Boy, nor did she get even remotely angry. Verity and Remus looked at each other with identical expressions of shock.

"Come on, Padfoot," James said, walking over to the Boy and bending down to pick him up by the back of his collar.

"Oh, Merlin, the flashes . . . the flashes are _everywhere!_" Sirius continued to mutter as he was half dragged, scrambling, towards the doors.

"Oh, pull yourself together, man," James told him levelly, "we're going to catch whoever did this to you, and possibly prank them."

Quite abruptly, Sirius stopped muttering.

"Prank?" he asked, looking up at his best friend. James stopped pulling him along by the back of his shirt.

"Yes," he said deliberately, "_prank_."

"Oh," Sirius said, standing up and dusting himself down. "Alright then," he nodded cheerfully, before walking quite normally out the door.

* * *

**a/n: **So, after two weeks of pure 'no-time-to-write-ness' here is something I scraped together during lunch-hours and Chemistry lessons where I can't be arsed to pay attention. Ah! 66 days before my GCSE study leave begins! I hope to get this fic finished by then, or I shall fail. Yes, I shall.

**JamieBell**: Hello! Thank you so much for reviewing! It's always nice to hear from you, especially when you say nice things about my fic. :D I'm really glad people seem to like Verity, I was so nervous about her I was whacking cane on desks in front of her, shouting 'Shape up! Get better now! Grow yourself some more personality for Christ's sake! You think you're fit for an OC? You're not fit for a Mary-Sue!' So, yeah, she had a quite a bad time of it. As for James and his chronically unconscious state, he must have low blood pressure or something. Or maybe the thought of Lily kissing someone else (his best friend) was so shocking that even if his brain entertained it for a microsecond, he'd have a synaptic breakdown. You guess is a good as mine. Never thank me for plugs, if I give them, you deserve it. (Yes, you do.)

**Alcapacien**: Thank you so much. I think James is a little smarter than that, but you never know. I'm glad you liked the joke, obviously James didn't . . . :D

**soccerchic1989**: So you think I pulled it off? That bit caused me much suffering and distress. Hopefully this chapter worked as well.

**Mr. Money**: Cheers, sorry about the late update. And after you asked so nicely as well. Apologies.

**Jillian Jacobs**: Exactly, how can it possibly turn out well? I guess I've got a bit of challenge in front of me.

**Tsusetsu**: Which reminds me! I need to watch Shaun of the Dead this weekend. Thank you.

**Thunder's Shadow**: How the C2 going? Any new subscribers? Hey! That's a really good idea! No seriously, it is. That's really funny! Why the hell are you giving it to me? You should write a one shot! Go on, you know you want to. Write me a fluffy one shot! Please?

**IamSiriusgrl**: No, there was no particular reason why I called you honey. I have this unfortunate habit of calling everyone honey/love/darling/angel and other variations on theme. I know I should stop because it makes some people like 'Do I know you?' but it's just some slightly odd thing I do because I don't smoke and get that sophisticated image through a cigarette-holder. ;)

**MissMrprk**:) -k

**FrighteninglyObsessed**: You can never have enough Remus. I agree. Feel to point and laugh at me. A lot of people tend to feel the urge and who am I deny them:D

**Anne-Janet**: I have, of course, extended my sincere apologies to Mr and Mrs Skeeter for cursing them with two daughters. Cheers for the review love. What do you think? Will Rita's plan fail?

**Call-Sugarhigh-Police**: Oh, my gosh! Call an ambulance! Quick!

**breziebear**: I don't know. Were you suggesting something? Were you? Huh? HUH:D Thank you so much for the review. P.S. this fic is PG-13:D

**shortywithbrains**: Well the thing about the necklace is that when I have gym, my teacher has a hissy-fit at anyone who wears jewellery because it's dangerous. So I think she must have indoctrinated me to think that all jewellery must be removed before sport. Blame her. Sorry I didn't update last week. I had school, unlike some lucky so-and-sos

**fairybells3**: Aw! That's such a cute thing to say! Thank you!

**ebony-plays-the-viola**: Whoa, that beginning of your review was slightly scary. Never mind, you're back! You're right, Rose is doing a bang-up job. I used to watch coupling but I just sort of . . . stopped when it changed slots. When is it on, and surely it can't be better than Little Britain? There were half-hints of Remus liking Verity scattered through the chapters, but they were very subtle. Never mind. I think Sirius is a bit too much of a player for me to pair him up with someone. Besides, he's so much funnier single. ;) Get some sleep, luff, you sound a bit deranged. Night night.

**Victoria87**: It's OK, the position was funny, or at least I hope so. If you want a beta, I recently found this thing called Perfect Imagination, which is like an archive for Harry Potter betas. Writers can get in touch with people willing to beta for them. It's well nifty. I think it's perfectimagination and then dot org, but it could be dot net. Try both. If you don't find anyone, I'll be happy to take a look, but I'm not a good beta at all, as is demonstrated by my own hideous spelling and punctuation.

**GlassBroomstick**: Sorry about the lateness! Urg, doom and death and destruction. This week has been so busy. Yargh. Sorry. Here ends my rant.

**kaiyana**: Thank you so much for commenting on the epiphany. That was something I was nervous about. I hate those jigsaw puzzles. They're like rubix cubes, but even more annoying because they're not half as hard and yet I still can't do them!

**Red-Emerald**: Yes, I am evil. Evil I am. Am I evil? Yes, I am. :D I'm sorry you're so tortured by that one sentence. If I had known, I would not have put it in. Cheers for reviewing though, and expressing your outrage.

**raj**: Wow, that was very descriptive review. Got any fics?

**Naidel**: I love you! You're so cute with the reviewing and the comparing my chapter to weather reports and with the whole cuteness. glomp OK! FINE! I Lose! Happy now? There is nothing that rhymes with Harry Nubbins, all right? NOTHING! You're just sore because you can't rhyme. Although I would not have my Valentine poem any other way. Blows raspberry

**Flavagurl**: Thank you so much, Rita is going down.

**LostConscience**: Yay for Lily indeed. Cheers for reviewing.

**The Big Dance**: I like weird adjectives. They're great. I have also never read the Tempest, is it good? Sorry about the late update, this week has just been blowing my mind.

**sCHEm**: Ok! I will!

**SnakeEyesHannah**: You are very good with compliments. Thank you very much. I'm really glad you like the story. It makes me happy when people like the stories I tell. Arg, getting a bit deep and inspirational, there, are we, koonelli? Can't have that now. Gotta put on a good show and whatnot. I need food too.

**Liisa Libelle**: Hello! Welcome to the fold of the story. It's good to have you here. Glad you reviewed, otherwise I would have never known you were here, would I:D Yes, school is the bane of my life apart from Enlgish, history and Art. All else is a waste of time when I could be writing. You're completely right.

**kiwislushie**: I think she sort of knew it all along, but she didn't quite believe it until she realised he wasn't a complete arse. I think this chapter had a bit more Remus, but the next one will have a lot. Promise.

**Phillippa of the Phoenix**: Yes, poor James. I hope the question was answered about the flashes. Hehe.

**LJstagflower4e**: Exciting, eh? Indeed. :D

**natalie**: Hey, I'm really glad you like the story. Yay! I can't write people without a sense of humour. I just sort of . . . can't. Every time they see something serious, I say to them 'Come on, isn't it a bit funny? Not even a little bit?' Nope it doesn't work.

**siriusforeva**: Cheers, you're lovely.

**Miss Lady Marauder**: Grrr, you win this time Madam, but Sirius and James are mine! All mine! Go write your own! And if you have, stop stealing mine:D

**Lady of Masbolle**: I hope your not doing your science. Science is one of the evils of earth. It does it's best to make my life difficult since I am obliged to take three exams this summer in Physics, Chem and Bio. Groan

**newsieduckling**: Yes, school. Urg. Thank you for sympathising and reviewing.

**Tracey**: You've got a fairly good system going here. I like it. Well done. There's an Anita's Disco Club? I think you should go! Stand there in the middle of the dance floor, shaking it and sniggering to yourself. :D 'Nnyess'ing is what my friends do. It makes us sound incredibly camp and generally fabulous, like Ursula in the Little Mermaid when she goes 'Why a-yes!'

**Chelime**: Yay for hopeless romantics! One day we shall rule the world. I think James came to his senses once he woke up.

**razzle****-dazzle-me**: God, I adore your name.

**Sushinase**: Yes, we British are prudes. Strangely, it does not stop us from streaking quite frequently at sporting functions. :D Lily gotten to his head or is it just his chronical quidditch-obsession? I suppose we shall never know. You thought it was Sirius and Lily snogging. I bet you never saw that one coming . . . evil grin

**charbar**: Hello, m'darling. I hope you're having a good weekend. Thanks so much for your review. I wouldn't worry, James is quite sturdy. Pats James on the back. I suspect he'll last a while yet before I have to change the batteries. :D

**Elspeth Renee**: I love people who print out chapters, they're so dedicated. I can never be bothered, partly because my printer is a demon under the label of Epson.

**Coffee Shopper**: Thanks for the review. P.S. Your name encompasses two things in the world.

**abilars**: Aw! Thanks!

**Monica**: Thank you so much, I'm glad you were amused.

**milky way bar**: Haha, yes, smart boy. Too smart for his own good by half. :D

**mika-mitch**: Haha, you leave the randomest reviews and I love them.

**Bondariana**: You do sound like a teacher. Except no teacher has ever been that complimentary to me.

**AOPeeps**: Haha! Pigeon English, how I love it.

**Next chappy:  
**Sirius sings shirtless (I bet you're paying attention now)  
There's a rally in the ranks of the first years  
And there's broom closet activity for Rita Skeeter

Love, your no-time-to-put-pen-to-paper author


	13. Conspiracy in the Ranks

**Thirteen – Conspiracy in the Ranks . . .**

The walk back to the Heads' Dorms flew right by for James. This was probably because for the entire way back, there was only a single train of thought in his head. It was the following:

_Lily doesn't hate me anymore . . . Lily wants to be my friend . . . Lily might possibly like me . . . Lily is at this moment walking next to me, with my arm around her . . . she and I are united in our front against 'Skeeter the scarab' . . . She and I are on the same team . . ._

And then they were in front of the gold-rimmed panels of the double door.

"Loopy loo," someone said. (By now the password had travelled around all their small group and rumour had it that a first year knew, but was only telling people for a fee of fifteen galleons. They really must change it soon, James thought.)

Soon after arriving, James went to his dorm to change, Lily went into the bathroom to take a shower and as soon as both doors closed, Remus and Verity turned to each other with mouths as wide as a hippogiff's wing span.

"You saw that, didn't you?" Verity demanded of the boy. "You saw that too, or I am going downright crackers?"

"I saw it, but I don't believe it," Remus said, shaking his head after the two heads.

"Don't believe what?" Sirius said leisurely from where he had flopped down onto the sofa.

"He had his _arm around her!_" Verity exclaimed, ignoring Sirius. "She was _leaning against him!_ He kissed her face in various places at least three times and she hit him a grand total of _never!_ This _doesn't make sense!_" Verity was waving her arms around. Remus was worried she was going to start hyperventilating.

"What doesn't make sense?" Sirius asked again, wondering if there was any breakfast to be had. Remus gave him a look and steered Verity towards the sofa.

"Look, sit down before you hurt yourself," he told her, parking her next to Sirius and sitting down on her other side. "What were they like the last time you saw them?"

"Well," Verity said, clasping her hands in her lap, "James was unconscious and Lily was beating all the remaining life out of him because she found out that he'd told Sirius about their little kissing incident over Christmas."

"I see," said Remus, "I can imagine how the scene then and the scene now would feel a little disjointed."

"No, stuff happened after that," Sirius told them, finally working out what they were going on about. "We asked Lilo what exactly she hated about James. _Then _we left."

"Oh?" asked Remus, "and what did she say?"

"Nothing," Verity told him, shaking her head.

"Yeah, she just sort of . . . stared into space for a minute, like she was listening to Quidditch on the wireless."

Remus made a low humming noise, as if the inner workings of his brain had started to operate at a higher frequency.

"Perhaps," he said, "she couldn't think of anything to say?"

Everyone in the room pondered this statement for a moment.

"That would explain why she didn't say anything," Peter nodded, under the impression that he was actually contributing something useful to the discussion.

"It seems to me," Remus continued, a smile growing on his face, "that our good friend, the Head Girl has had an epiphany."

"A what now?" Sirius asked.

"A wake up call," said Remus in a low voice. Verity's hand flew to her mouth.

"No," she said shrewdly, "You don't think . . . She's not . . . You don't think at last . . ."

"I think so," nodded Remus in the direction of the bathroom. "It would explain why she hasn't killed him in the last two hours."

"Oh, my good green beans!" Verity said, stressing every single word of her exclamation. "This is . . . I don't believe it!" She stood up and jumped up and down a little, eyes wide and hair bristling with excitement. "They're going to get together at last! Lily's going to give him a chance! They'll be so happy! They'll probably get married! Good grief, what am I going to wear to the _wedding?_"

"James will stop moping every time someone mentions Lily!" Sirius in a voice just as excited as Verity's hair. "Merlin, she'll finally make him happy! Never mind what you're going to wear to the wedding, what am _I_ going to wear to the wedding?"

"_Shhhhh__!"_Remus shushed them both, standing up to shake his hands up and down. Sirius and Verity looked at him as if he were mad not to join in their celebration.

"Look," Remus said, "think about it: if we confront them at the same time, chances are they'll get embarrassed, say they're just friends and deny anything will happen, leading to . . . nothing happening. If we talk to them individually, there's more chance of them telling us what they really feel. So you take her," (he gestured to Verity,) "and we'll take him and report back in the morning, all right?"

Sirius saluted.

"Yes, sir!" he nodded. "Well done, Moony, that's using the ol' noodle."

"Ok, so we have to act natural!" Verity said, whispering for some reason. "We don't say anything about anything. Until we get each of them on their own, act like we haven't noticed a thing, savvy?" She gave an especially long hard look at Peter, who could not even be trusted with the Gryffindor password at the best of times.

They all nodded conspiratorially and sat down, too excited to talk about anything trivial such as the weather or next month's Quidditch match against Slytherin. Every so often Verity would give a little thrilled bounce of happiness or Remus and Sirius would give each other satisfied looks. All four of them jumped when the Head Boy's door opened and James himself stepped out. Smiling at his friends, he crossed the room and gave the bathroom door a light knock.

"Coming! Coming!" came Lily's voice from inside, followed swiftly by her presence, damp haired.

"Unbelievable," she grumbled, "No one's yet been in there and the hot water _still _runs out."

There was a moment of silence as the five of them looked at each other. Five pairs of eyes flicked about, either expectantly, or elatedly, either waiting for something to be said or itching to say something. It was an odd moment of pure bizarreness.

Peter's little finger began to twitch. Remus coughed.

"So!" exclaimed Sirius, clapping his hands and rubbing them together. "What's this I hear about a prank, then, eh?"

* * *

"Could you perhaps tell me," Sirius asked, shivering, "why this is necessary again?"

"Oh, stop complaining, Padfoot," Remus hissed at him, hidden behind the doorway of the Gryffindor changing rooms. "You were the keenest one out of all of us."

"Fair play, I was keen to pull a prank or two," Sirius whispered back, "but could you tell me why in the name of all things magic I am out here in nothing but a pair of trousers when it is only April?"

Sirius wasn't exaggerating. He was indeed standing outside the Gryffindor changing rooms in only his trousers, without any type of shirt on and it was indeed, the end of April. Remus was, as mentioned, out of sight in the doorway of the changing rooms, Lily and Verity were perched on the roof and James was crouching under the shelter of the nearest stretch of the stands. Everyone was waiting.

The object of this exercise was quite obviously: bait.

Logically, if Sirius was prone to being photographed, then sticking him in a Quidditch pitch, partially clothed, was likely to lure the photographer into being caught.

It was genius really, James thought as he peered out from behind the red and gold coloured cloth that adorned the stands.

"Come on, Padfoot!" he hissed, "we haven't got all year!"

Sirius pulled a pained look and took a deep breath. Standing up straighter, he stretched his arms above his head and said in a very loud, deliberate voice:

"_Oh_, what a _marvellous day!_Spring is _truly here_. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the fairies are . . . fairy-ing . . ."

Verity sniggered while Remus's face took on an expression halfway between pain and amusement.

"What I _would not give_," Sirius continued gamely, spreading his arms out in a romantically dramatic fashion, "for someone to come along and _capture_ this fantastic moment . . ."

By this time both girls above were fighting not to burst into laughter. Lily felt as if she were about to collapse onto the flat roof of the changing rooms that they were crouched on.

"Oh, Merlin alive, look at him!" Verity struggled to say, "he looks like he should be in a badly written play!"

"_The sta-a-ands are ali-i-i-i-ve_," Lily sang through her giggles, "_with the sound of mu-u-usic!_"

However, it seemed as if Sirius's performance had done little more than to amuse the girls on the roof. There had been nothing in the way of paparazzi-type behaviour from anywhere, and Remus and James had been trying very hard to spot anything. Sirius turned in James's direction and shrugged.

That's when it happened. A tiny burst of light flashed from the opposite end of the stands, lasting only a millisecond. It was a burst of light that looked suspiciously like the flash of a camera.

"There!" Lily shouted, spotting it first and James followed her pointing finger swiftly to an area in the stands where he saw the faintest flicker of movement. Like charging hippogriffs, James and Remus tore off towards where Lily had pointed while the Head Girl and her best friend began to climb down from the roof as fast as they could. Sirius, on the other hand, sprinted into the changing rooms and emerged a moment later, starting after the girls whilst simultaneously attempting to pull a T-shirt over his head.

Glimpses of their target through the wooden beams of the stands became more and more frequent to James the further he ran. It seemed to be someone quite short, and blonde, by the looks of it, who was sprinting desperately on the other side of the stands to him. At the nearest break in the structure, James crossed to the other side and was faced with a running view of a small girl, running for her life while a rather large camera swung wildly to and fro from her arm.

James was suddenly struck with an idea. Stopping his sprint he planted his feet on the ground and pulled out his wand, pointing it squarely at a decorative cloth that was draped over the nearby Slytherin sector of the stands.

"_Wingardium__ Leviosa!_" he commanded, and a Slytherin banner about three times the size of a double duvet cover slid swiftly off the wooden beams and flew straight towards the fugitive, surrounding her and collapsing on her in a jumble of green and silver cloth.

Whoever she was, she was still trying unsuccessfully to free herself from the tangle of the banner when the three Marauders, Lily, and Verity arrived next to it, puffing from their sprint. Muffled swear words only just came through from the pile of heavy cloth, and the seventh years glanced at each other as finally, a head protruded from the banner.

"My, my, such language from one so young," Remus commented.

"I think we should book her an appointment with a bottle of _Miss Skower's_, don't you?" asked James, crossing his arm and tilting his head to the side. This stance was authoritative and, Lily noted, quite attractive.

"Let me out, you- (insert double expletive here)," growled the small blonde girl from her prison, whom Lily had recognised as Rita Skeeter's younger sister. What was her name again? Alice? Anna? Annabelle? "My sister _made_ me do it! She threatened me! She caused me _bodily harm!_ Let me out!"

"Oh, we guessed that," Lily told her, wrinkling her nose. "Combination of factors, really. One being that your detestable sister has never been seen within six meters of any photographic equipment whatsoever, another being that you're kind of small and easy to influence."

"Shut up!" the girl snarled indignantly, "I am not _easy to influence!_"

"That's not my experience," Sirius said wryly, "clearly, you've been influenced by my manly stature and rugged good looks and although I hardly blame you, let's face it, aren't you like, eleven?"

"Yes, speaking of which, why in the name of magic are you stalking Sirius?" asked Remus.

"Well, duh, he's fit," the Skeeter girl said, as if Remus were dense and causing Sirius to nod smugly at the crowd in general. "Do you know how much money there is to be made from photos of the popular at this school?"

"Really?" asked Sirius, sounding intrigued. "What kind of money would you be talking about?"

"Sirius!" Lily exclaimed.

"Sorry," he muttered quickly. "Yeah, stalking, photographs, emotional trauma, right, got it."

"Exactly," nodded Lily, "good boy."

Unfortunately, the blonde in the banner had managed to free an arm from the jumble and was now waving it around and pointing at things while she shouted at the seventh years.

"You've got nothing!" she yelled gleefully, "Nothing, you hear? You'll never take me alive! Never!"

"Dearie me," Verity remarked, looking at her friends appalled. "Whatever would your mother say about this?"

In an instant, the girl's went from a look of almost maniacal joy to trembling panic.

"Oh, Merlin," she muttered quietly, "You can't tell my mother, you can't! You don't understand! She's worse than Grindelwald! She'll dismantle my camera and tie the pieces to my facial features with wire!"

"Really?" frowned James.

"Well, no, but as good as," muttered the blonde. "She'll probably be very angry and confiscate my camera." It seemed over-statement ran in the Skeeter-bloodline. The seventh years looked at each other. Here was a way of bringing down the smaller of their foes.

"Wait, hold on," Lily said to the Gryffindors, spreading her fingers in the discovery of a marvellous idea. "Look, Anna? Is it?"

"Anita," the girl said poisonously.

"Right, Anita," Lily said, half apologetically. "Listen. You don't . . . like your sister much, do you?"

"What?" demanded Anita, "Of course not. I think she's a puffed up social reject who takes out all her angst on innocent bystanders with that sad-case newsletter of hers because she's too ugly, mean and thick to get a date with him," she motioned at James.

"Yeah, that's good," nodded Lily thoughtfully while Verity gave a small round of applause. It wasn't clear whether she was talking about Anita's reaction or her last comment about her sister.

"OK, Anita, how's this for a deal?" Lily continued. "We carefully omit any mention of this little incident to you mum, and in return, you help us in our plan to bring down your nitty, cruddy, half-baked, spineless, dung-faced cow of a sister."

"Get stuffed," growled Anita, giving her standard reply to any sort of deal she was offered nowadays.

"Oi," James said, outraged, "If your not careful, Skeeter, I'll confiscate your camera myself!" He stepped forward but found Lily's hand on his chest. Her touch confiscated a beat from his heart.

"Just . . . just . . . _calm_, OK?" Lily said soothingly to the situation in general. "Anita, this is the best deal you're getting. All we need is a little help from you in which you get your little first-year friends together and do some . . . errands for us. This way, you get to keep your camera and we get to give your sister what she rightly deserves. It's a win-win situation."

There was a moment of silence while Anita considered this proposal. The Marauders and Verity confided among themselves with looks. Already Lily's plan was beginning to sound good.

"Fair enough," Anita nodded. Lily smiled.

"Brilliant," she said. "Now let's get you out of that carpet. Green and silver should never be forced on anyone."

* * *

Rita Skeeter was having the best day of her life.

Considering how shallow and relatively meaningless her life was, this was not much of an achievement, but it was, sadly, the best day of Rita's life.

_Hogwarts Hearsay_ had spread through the school like a magical form of the plague. The one hundred and fifty copies she had posted around the school had all vanished from the wall within three hours of release and had obviously been duplicated and duplicated over and over again until absolutely everyone in the castle had seen it. The image was everywhere and wherever she went, Rita heard people whispering about it.

_"How do you think she got the photo?"_

_"Could it possibly be true?"_

_"I never would have guessed it."_

_"I reckon it's a load of bollocks, personally."_

_"Is Lily Evans's necklace _floating?"

People were actually coming up to her and offering their congratulations! Admittedly, they were only fellow members of the James Potter Appreciation Society whose member base was in the vast majority both Hufflepuff and female but this hardly mattered. The most reaction Rita had ever gotten from any of her articles before had been an inkbottle thrown at her in Advanced Divination.

_Any moment now_, she told herself, sitting in the Ravenclaw Common Room. She was at one of the many studying tables, but instead of doing her Charms homework, she was doodling things such as the design of her wedding dress and listing songs to be played at the reception. A running theme throughout her doodlings was little hearts with the letters 'RS' and 'JP'. Any moment now, James Potter would walk into the Common Room (how he would know the password presented a slight continuity error in her daydreaming), stride over to her, snog her passionately like characters did in romance novels and say something along the lines of:

'Oh, beautiful, marvellous, radiant, lovely Rita. After you cleverly exposed that devious Evans's scandalous dealings with that detestable villain Snape, I have seen the monstrous error of my ways and now my heart belongs to you and only to you. Marry me, my darling and let me give you a life of workless, worriless luxury with the help of my huge personal fortune."

_Any moment now._

The entrance to the Ravenclaw Common Room opened.

"**YES!**" Rita shouted passionately, flinging her arms out and waiting for James Potter to propose undying love.

Everyone in the room, including the person who had just entered (not James Potter but some ginger first year) stared at her with expressions of mild shock or greater annoyance.

Fuming in defiant grumpiness, Rita sat back down again and resumed her doodling.

When someone tapped her on the shoulder, she jumped and quickly rolled up her parchment, jerking her head from side to side before coughing into a pout and adjusting her hair with her middle finger.

"_What_?" she demanded of the startled looking first year who had only just entered. The girl's orange hair puffed slightly as she mumbled.

"Excuse me, Rita Skeeter," she said, seeming as though her was reciting lines for a play. "I think you were right."

"About what, you annoying little ginger?" Rita said nastily.

"About Lily Evans and Severus Snape."

"I . . ." Rita said, speechless. "I was?"

Wordlessly, the first year pointed at the exit and without waiting for further information, Rita lunged in that direction.

_Right?_ she thought, _right?_ Did this mean Evans and Snape were _really_ snogging passionately in some broom cupboard somewhere? Oh, this was too marvellous to be true! If her stories were in fact correct, there was no way James Potter would not abandon his pathetic thing for Evans and ask her out instead!

It was after about fifteen seconds of running that Rita realised that she didn't have a clue where she was going. Breathing out through her nose in anger, she slowed to a stop and looked around. She thought of going back to the Common Room to extract more information from the ginger, but a moment later, she heard something that would save her the trouble.

Two other first years were whispering on a stone bench to her left, their heads bent behind copies of _Hogwarts Hearsay_. Creeping closer, Rita strained to hear what they were saying.

"Actually, I think Rita is completely right," a straight haired boy was saying loudly, making Rita's eavesdropping job rather easy.

"Of course," nodded his curly hair companion, glancing oddly at Rita every so often, "didn't you just see them? Lily Evans and Severus Snape just went past here together only a minute ago."

And without Rita even having to ask, the boys pointed their forefingers further down the corridor in bizarre, wordless unison.

However, Rita didn't notice this but instead grinned and scurried off in the direction of their fingers. When she came to one of the large shafts of moving staircases she found she didn't know where to go next. Cursing, she looked hard for any sign of that stupid Head Girl with her ridiculous hair and her creepy new boyfriend. However, the noisy, shifting staircases presented no more than irrelevant students.

"Did you see them? They went up that staircase just now! Lily Evans and that weird bloke from Slytherin!"

Rita spun round and found a small freckled girl talking animatedly to another boy over the crook of a staircase. Or at least, the girl was talking animatedly enough for Rita to hear.

"Of course I saw them," the boy replied. By their ties, they were both in Gryffindor but could not have been higher than second years. "And of course I happened to note where they were going. Sixth floor, south-east corridor, it was. Would you like me to tell you again? _Sixth floor, south-east corridor_."

Once again, Rita did not notice the two younger student watching her slyly because she was too busy riding a moving staircase from floor to floor, making her swinging way towards the south-east corridor on the sixth floor.

Arriving there quite out of breath, Rita almost tripped on someone sat just inside the beginning of the corridor. It was a first year girl from her own house and as Rita gathered herself and prepared to tell the girl off for almost sending her flying, she noticed that the girl was talking into what looked like a hand-held mirror.

It might have seemed a little odd that the small girl did not even look up at almost being tripped on, but continued talking to whomever was in the mirror. Needless to say, Rita stepped back and tried inconspicuously to listen to the conversation.

"Yes, they passed this way 'bout thirty second ago, I would say."

Rita huffed. This was no help.

"Well, then they went straight on down this corridor, turned right at the statue of Barbara the Bearded, carried on until the third left, along that corridor with portraits of past Heads and took a left when they came to Gordon de Shedding, headmaster from 1523 to 1601."

If Rita had not shot off to follow the directions and waited for a reply from the person in the mirror, she may have noticed that the first year was talking to a certain Head Boy, who, a few seconds after the little first year girl had finished her speech, said,

"Did it work?"

"Yeah, I think so," nodded the Ravenclaw, glancing at the retreating form of Rita as she skidded, turning right at the corner. "She's on her way now."

"Brilliant!" grinned the image of James in the mirror, "Next time there's a Hogsmeade trip, I'll bring you all back a bag of Honeydukes pick 'n' mix on me for your trouble. Spread the word."

"Oh, wow! Cheers!" smiled the girl, getting up from the floor, "But I think we're all just happy to help you bring down that mean old slag, excuse my Mermish, Mr Potter."

Far from cursing, Rita was congratulating herself on a job well done. As she took the third left and ran along the long line of portraits on the wall, she told herself that it would not be long until James Potter himself was taking her out to Hogsmeade and Lily Evans was the laughing stock and social outcast of the school. At last, respect and popularity would be hers!

Rita couldn't resist a small snigger as she stumbled to a stop in front of Gordon de Shedding, headmaster 1523 - 1601. The man in the portrait was a very round sort of figure with a circular red nose and a purple velvet pointed hat that drooped down to his elbows. Rita looked him up and down.

"Yes, that's me," he nodded, "Gordon de Shedding, headmaster from 1523 to 1601. That's Gordon de Shedding, headmaster from 1523 to 1601. A lot of people seem to be _taking a left_ when they get to my portrait."

"I see," sniffed Rita, "and would these people happen to have absurdly coloured red hair and be accompanied by the ugliest boy alive?"

Gordon de Shedding averted his eyes in dismissal.

"I thought her hair was very nice."

Rita congratulated herself on her interviewing skills and took a left. As she hurriedly turned a corner into a Transfiguration corridor, she bumped into someone.

"Ah!" Rita shouted in a tone of mild disgust as she eyed up her sister. "What the blazes are _you_ doing here?"

"What?" asked Anita, affronted. "Can't an innocent little first year take her innocent little first year-type stroll?"

Rite snorted.

"Innocent little first year my arse," she said. "Now listen, you insignificant louse, _you_ must have seen where Evans and Snape went."

"I might have done," Anita said cryptically while absently fingering a lever on her camera.

"Fabulous," replied Rita sarcastically, "so if you don't tell me where they went, so help me Merlin, I'll . . ."

"All right, all right," Anita quipped back. She nodded to the door beside them. Rita examined it.

It was a relatively plain door compared to the majority of others at Hogwarts. Made of simple pine, the door had a silver plaque on it that read 'CLEANING SUPPLIES'. Above it, someone, (probably the signed) had written in a bad scrawl '_Mr Filch's_' and below it '_Keep out!_'.

"A maintenance cupboard," summarised Rita. "Merlin, I would have thought Evans was classier than that."

"You know what?" Anita said, getting into her role, "me too."

Rita's eyes flashed over her sister's camera.

"You!" she hissed, grasping the straps of the camera around Anita's neck and very nearly strangling her sister. "You're coming with me. This is likely to be the best scoop I ever make. Plus, of course, the best moment of my life after James Potter proposes to me. I need a photo of everything."

"Of course, sister dearest," Anita smiled sweetly, while thinking 'James Potter propose to _you?_ You're off your rocker, woman.'

Dragging her sister round to face the door, Rita took a deep breath. This was it. This was what all her hard work added up to. Smiling craftily, she put one hand on the doorknob, wrenched it open, propelled herself and Anita inside and slammed the door shut behind them. There could be no escape for Evans and Snape now.

"Hello, Skeeter."

This was perhaps the last thing Rita expected to hear upon entering the maintenance cupboard. Perhaps because it was not 'Oh, Merlin, Severus, someone's found us!' or 'Get out and shut the door, this cupboard is taken!'. Also perhaps because it was not Lily Evan's voice or Severus Snape's voice she heard, but James Potter's.

A brief thought entered Rita's head that it may not be so bad to be stuck in a dark maintenance cupboard alone with James Potter, and she decided then to tell Anita to get out and shut the door, however she didn't have a chance because a moment later, someone had clapped their hands twice and the candles in the cupboard lit up.

Four candles in a relatively small space about the size of a tool shed was more than enough to illuminate not two people as Rita had expected, but five.

James Potter, Lily Evans, Sirius Black, Verity Hooch and Remus Lupin.

"You!" screeched Rita, pointing a sharpened nail at Lily. "You were supposed to be in here with Severus Snape!"

Remus and Verity turned to James.

"We'll be outside." They left, smirking at Rita as the Ravenclaw bristled in confusion.

The Head Girl put a hand on her hip and smiled at her.

"Now, Rita, did you really believe that?"

"Half the first year told me so! Along with a bloody portrait!"

"Oh, gosh, yes," Lily said through her smile, the candlelight shining in her eyes. "They were very helpful to us in acting as guides, weren't they, James?"

"Yep, cracking," nodded James.

"As entertaining as this is," Sirius interjected cheerfully, "I'll be getting some fresh air." He winked at Anita on his way to the door.

"Me too," the younger Skeeter said, following Sirius to the door.

Rita was beginning to get angry.

"This is ridiculous," she spat. "I don't know what you could ever see in this little tart, James. In case you hadn't noticed, she hates you. She's completely wrong for you and she far from deserves you. You'll never be together, but you and I have a wonderful future."

James fought not to gag as Lily was thinking hard. She had to get Rita away from the door if their plan was going to work.

"Merlin, Rita," she said pityingly, "for a gossip queen, you really aren't with the times, are you?"

"What?" demanded Rita, who was, by now, really wanting to hit the Head Girl.

"Potter and I got together last week," Lily said, snaking her hand through the crook of James's elbow. James looked down and tried to keep his heart rate steady. He knew it was all part of the plan, he knew Lily was only trying to aggravate their enemy, but that didn't stop him enjoying the feeling of her clutching his arm to her and putting her cheek on his shoulder.

"What?" Rita repeated, tilting her head forwards as a bull might before charging. "No."

"Actually, yes," James nodded, "I asked Lilo out last week and she said yes. It was partly your doing really."

"Yeah, you see, Potter was just so nice to me about the awful things you wrote in your pathetic little newsletter," Lily told Rita, "I guess your plan didn't work that well after all."

Lily smiled wider as Rita's breathing got shallower and more ragged.

"What's the matter, Rita?" the Head Girl asked. "Are you ashamed of losing to _me?_ Ashamed of losing to someone with hair this colour? Or are just ashamed of losing to someone who was so sure to win?"

Rita let out a scream that sounded like fifty Quidditch referees all blowing their whistles at the same time through a very long tunnel. It was a scream that felt like it was thickening your blood and making your eardrums shrivel up in fright. In that moment, what Rita wanted more than anything was to kill Lily Evans, dismember her and stick all her body parts up like she was sticking up the new issue of _Hogwarts Hearsay_.

As Rita lunged towards Lily, continuing her screaming, Lily and James stepped separate ways, allowing the screeching Ravenclaw to careen off behind them and crash into a pile of bottles containing various cleaning fluids. Smiling at each other, they made for the door, stepping out into the corridor and locking the door behind them.

When they turned around, they found not only their friends, but the entirety of the first year and a few others who were curious about what was going on.

"Well done everyone," nodded Lily, "that went as smoothly as anything. You were brilliant."

"Now what?" Anita asked, obviously not impressed.

"My dear accomplice," James said, "do you honestly think we would go to all this trouble to lead your sister into a cleaning supplies cupboard without spending all of today . . . preparing this cupboard?"

A few of the first years glanced at each other in anticipation.

"_Evans! Evans! You utter cow! Let me out!_" came the muffled sound of Rita's voice from the other side of the door.

"Let's see," Remus said, tapping his lower lip as there came the sound of Rita banging on the door. "Banging on the door makes the lights go out."

"_Hey! That's not fair!_" Obviously, Rita was feeling the effects of the Gryffindors' 'preparation' and the door handle started to jiggle as Rita battled with it.

"Turning the handle," Sirius pointed out, "turns on the water jet charms."

There was a shriek from inside the cupboard and the carpet under the door began to turn dark with the soaking of water. Sniggers began to rise from the crowd gathered around the door. Five seconds later, there was another, louder shriek.

"She must have gotten her wand out," Verity said understandingly, "doesn't that replace the water with-"

"Pond algae," nodded Remus.

"_Ahh__ Urg! Alohamora!"_

"Ouch, the 'Alohamora' charm," Lily cringed.

"Was that the one that releases the catches on the pixie cages?" asked James.

"_Ah! Ah! Ah! Get off! Get off me! Get out from down my top, you little freaks!_"

"Obviously, yes," remarked Remus with a smile.

"_Peskipiksi__ Pesternomi!_"

"Casting any other charm," Sirius narrated for the benefit of the first years, "causes the nose to swell up and go turquoise."

From then on, it seemed as though Rita had a very bad cold from the sound of the things she was shouting.

"_Gut of! Gut of!_" she cried. "_Lut__ me out!__ Lut me out dis instunt! You nasty, fulthy bunch of little muggots! Argh!"_

The prisoner's shouting ceased for a moment and the group outside the cupboard heard a faint hollow knocking of wood against wood.

"Oh, I hope that's her picking up a broom!" hissed Verity excitedly.

"Makes feathers grow out of the ears," Remus said casually to the crowd.

_Bang, bang, bang!_

"Whereas banging the broom on the door produces straightforward boils to the face and hands," explained James.

"_Urg_"

"It's a bit old-school, but we thought we'd pay tribute."

By this time the sniggers from the crowd of students were quickly turning into laughter.

"I hope she sits down on a tin of paint soon," Sirius said. "That's the one that puts troll mucus in your shoes."

"Which is the one that turns your hair into blue straw dreadlocks?" asked Lily.

"Kicking a bucket in frustration," Remus said.

"Oh, yeah, that was a good one," smiled James.

"_I wun't fuget dis!__ Yu'll ull be sowy! Wita Skeeta wun't stand for dis kind of hoomiliashun!" _

"Should we let her out soon?" Lily asked, narrowing her eyes in thought.

"Yeah, go on then," nodded James, and the crowd shifted in excitement.

"_Alohamora_" Remus commanded and the lock on the cupboard door clicked.

There quickly followed the sound of Rita rushing forward and crashing into the door in a mad bid to get out. As the door swung open, Rita squinted into the light coming in through the corridor. She felt and looked utterly ridiculous. The crowd assembled outside burst into thunderous laughter as Rita took stock of the damage. She was soaked through with water and a thick, faintly green substance. She was covered in algae and pond weeds and the bottom half of her vision was obstructed with the huge blueness of her nose. The pixies still in the cupboard had a wad of her blonde hair between them and she was sure there were still two of them down her top. Her hair was blue and made of straw, there were feathers coming out of her ears and boils on her face and hands. She cringed as some kind of goo squelched out of her shoes as she stumbled forwards out of the doorframe.

Everyone outside was laughing at her. Rita pulled a furious face as she tried to think of something cutting and dignified to say. Nothing came. So she simply screamed at them all.

"_ARRRGGHHH!_"

Lily smiled at the disgusting monstrosity that staggered out of the cupboard. Dealing out justice where it was due felt very, very good. Silently, she held her hand out to Anita.

"Aw, Skeeter, go on. Give us a smile!" James said from by her side.

"Yes, Rita," Lily said raising Anita's camera to her face. "Smile for the camera."

Rita grimaced as the flash went.

* * *

**a/n**

What's better than a tub of Haagen-Dazs and the soundtrack to Moulin Rouge? Not much, I'll tell you that.

I'm very sorry, but I have bad news. Lately, my chem teacher has gotten a bit pissed off with us because we never do any work and never do what we're told and generally are well on our way to failing our exam. So she has come up the genius idea of giving us a seating plan! So, I used to be at the back, where I could scribble my chapters down in peace, now I am right in the front row! Where she can see me! I can't write anything! I'm actually _learning_ stuff!

This cannot go on, otherwise I will never have the chance to write a single word.

**The Big Dance**: Aw, I hope you're better, honey. Thanks for the review, as you know, I'm a fan of any kind of review.

**drumer girl**: OK! OK! OK!

**razzle****-dazzle-me**: Thanks a lot, will do.

**Lala**: Hehe, I thought so. Fortunately, not the broom closet activity you were thinking of.

**Anne-Janet**: Yes, there's nothing like a good prank to cheer Sirius up.

**Celina Black**: Thank you for the compliments, I'm glad you enjoy my way of telling a story. I hope the flashes make sense now. Anita was using them for her own personal gain, cunning little thing.

**supergirl**: Hopefully you're right, Lily and James are getting somewhere. Thanks for the review!

**mika-mitch**: Ouch, sorry you got in trouble for reading my story. Biology sucks. I hope you had fun at the beach, you lucky thing.

**IamSiriusgrl**: Over active imagination, much:D No, I do the same thing. Thanks for the review!

**everblue3**: Thanks for owning up to liking my fic. :D I think the Quidditch metaphor helps to keep the story going somewhat. It was a pleasure to hear from you.

**abilars**: Sirius had become slightly unhinged due to the unusual amount of quick flashes he had been seeing around him. But he's OK now, thanks for asking. :)

**Elspeth Renee**: I'm very glad you liked the chapter and that you didn't have to waste paper on it. Thanks for leaving me a note, always a pleasure.

**SnakeEyesHannah**: Thanks for saying lovely things. It's nice you think there was a certain continuation between the two chapters, I'd have never noticed that. Sirius shirtless, works every time. :D

**FrighteninglyObsessed**: Well, I _hope_ that the broom closet activity was different than the kind you were imagining, or it would have spoilt the surprise. :D Yes, Peter, is in my fic, but he's kind of . . . weedy and stupid and someone to say all the stupid comments that Sirius and Remus would never say. Thanks for reviewing yet again.

**GlassBroomstick**: Yes, I had a bit of a gagging fit writing that bit, but I suppose it had to be done. Thank fluff it's over.

**Thunder's Shadow**: I did read your fic, didn't I? Yes, I remember reviewing it, and enjoying it very much. Everyone else should go read 'A Sirius Matter' because it's a lot of fun.

**Alcapacien**: Thanks for the note, things did get progressive on the L/J front, didn't they?

**Jillian Jacobs**: Sadly, no snogging, but very close.

**Miss Lady Marauder**: What? No! Verity wasn't to blame! How was she to know? Don't you like her? Besides, I feel that if a kiss had taken place, there would have been hell to pay if the two of them hadn't gotten some things sorted out first. Patience, my young reviewer, patience . . .

**walkingcensure**: I hope you're not dead. Please review otherwise I shall call an ambulance.

**MelissaMarie**: Wow, that was dramatic bow. Thanks for being so lovely. Darling, if I were ever to receive an award, it would only be on your behalf.

**helloshanti2**: Your favourite story ever? I'm so flattered. I'm so very glad you're enjoying it. Good times all round.

**Breziebear**: Yes, no computer doom. Good to have you back.

**Tsusetsu**: Cheers. How's the whole band thing going?

**Ethuiliel**: Thank you very much! I promise fluff soon!

**Unregistered-Animagus**: (Joins in happy dance.) We're so rockin'.

**Lady of Masbolle**: Sorry about the image. I like to tease. :D

**limbo-gal**: Thanks so much for writing such nice things. Yes, sadly JK created the world, I just like to play in it. :D

**The ORIGINAL Meathead**: Haha. It's nice that you liked the chapter, thanks for leaving me a note. Little did you know the prank WAS the closet. I'm so cunning to mislead you. :D

**Cestari**: OK, thanks!

**milky way bar**: Very concise. :) Till next time.

**snazzysnez**: Thanks for your enthusiasm! They were close this time too, weren't they?

**Tracey**: Your emails are nice! In fact, they kind of help because they get me in typing mood. One of the worst bits of writing fics is typing them up. It is tedium-city. I am amused by situations like that. Fortunately, they happen often enough at parties and the like. :D I'm so evil. Yes, I like that line too. Verity is inspired.

**Call-Sugarhigh-Police**: Do you have a donor card? You know, just in case you do die? Obviously I'm hoping you won't because then you wouldn't be able to read any more.

**shortywithbrains**: Yes, photoshop is magic. Thanks for reviewing. I hope Sirius was at least slightly more comical than Winky, who I found a bit scary, to tell you the truth.

**kiwislushie**: Yes, yes, I believe they did. :D

**soccerchic1989**: Fear not, Rita went down. Don't you worry. Thanks for reviewing!

**geckaclark**: Cliché is the bane of my life. Arg, I hate it. Thanks so much for you note.

**charbar**: I like purveying fanfic high. Joy all around. Hist c/w is now finishes, is it not? Good. P.S. this fic is a PG, if you wish for that type of thing, go elsewhere, although I would not have expected it from you, dearest. :D

**naidel**: HAHAHAHAHA! You're the funniest thing ever, I love you.

**MissMrprk**:)

**SiriusProtege**: Yes, Rita seemed like a good villain, or at least a fun one to write anyway. She amuses me so. However, now she is out of the way, we can get down to some nitty gritty fluff.

**Sushinase**: I'm glad you like the chapter. It amuses me when people squee. It's so cute.

**JamieBell**: Yeah, I always have dreams like that! When I read that bit in that (fabulous) book, I though: 'Gasp, story of my life!' But you are perfectly right about the hug jazz. Never pass up a hug from someone you like, especially someone as hansom as James, if you can possibly help it. Good advice.

**raj**: Hm, maybe it was a bit too fast. I don't know. I guess I just wanted to get Rita going down as fast as possible. Also, I think James has known Lily long enough to know that if she had kissed Snape, she would no longer be at Hogwarts, but running off to live as a nun. Thanks for you comments, I do need to slow down then, yes?

**Flame Of Desire**: I'm glad Sirius amuses you. Thanks so much for the note!

**newsieduckling**: I don't know about Sirius. He's much funnier on his own. I don't want him getting all inspired any time soon, that would never do. I also reserve judgement on Remus and Verity. Hm . . . the cogs in my brain are a-turning now. :D

**Ang**: Prank! Haha. James just knows.

**siriusforeva**: And yet so far . . . haha. Keep reading!

**Sheyana**: Cheers! Always a pleasure!

**Next chappy:**

Sirius and Remus turn wedding planners  
Witches never go to the loo on their own, (well known law of nature)  
Lily recites the epic tale of one day in the life of someone who is a mate of James

Lots of luff, your exhausted author


	14. A Whole Speech for Nothing

**Fourteen – A Whole Speech for Nothing . . .**

Later that afternoon, the Marauders, Lily and Verity were doing a bit of photojournalism of their very own.

Once again, pieces of parchment were stuck up all over the school. They flapped from every bit of wall space the Gryffindors could find. They were stuck on classroom doors, they decorated staircase banisters and they graced the backs of toilet cubicle doors.

Lily stuck up another, and smiled at the Head Boy beside her for perhaps the two hundredth time that day while they observed the contents of the parchment.

**_Hogwarts Hearsay  
_**_Issue 4, Volume 1  
__Saturday 1st May_

_As many of the student population will know, this publication, since its beginning, has always had a reputation for being far more fictitious than factual in its content. However, _Hogwarts Hearsay_ is, as of now, under brand new management, and therefore will not only be narrating the absolute truth, but all images contained herein are completely genuine and have not been tampered with in any way. _

_Having said that, the Editors would now like to share with you the following photograph:_

Underneath was the image they had captured only that morning. It was rather brilliant, James thought as he studied it. It was, of course, a photograph of Rita Skeeter stumbling out of the maintenance cupboard on the sixth floor, soaked in pond water, covered in weeds and mucus, with blue straw for hair, boils adorning her face and feathers sprouting form her ears. As the photographic Ravenclaw swayed around in a rather drunken way, a couple of pixies sniggered at her in the background and then either made a grab at her hair or flew up her skirt.

_For those of you (and we suspect there may be many) who do not recognise the wretched creature in this photograph, we can inform you that it is none other than this publication's former author, editor and producer, Rita Skeeter. Skeeter was snapped around lunchtime today exiting one of Mr Filch's cleaning supplies cupboards on the sixth floor in the sate pictured. It seems that the former organiser of _Hogwarts Hearsay_ has been the victim of an elaborate practical joke involving many students belonging to the first year and other residents of the Hogwarts castle. _

_When asked to comment on her experience, Miss Skeeter only released an incoherent wailing which some Slytherin third years claim to have heard from the lower levels of the dungeons. _

_It is the authors' professional opinion that Miss Skeeter may have been targeted in this way as a result of her continued slandering of a Miss Lily Evans, the current Head Girl. We hope that Miss Skeeter has learnt the valuable lesson that Miss Evans has friends in both high and low places that will not hesitate to aid her or her reputation when in jeopardy. _

_Photograph courtesy of the subject's sister, Anita Skeeter. _

"Masterful," James commented and Lily hummed in agreement as the two of them continued on along the corridor. Already a little way down the corridor where they had come, the Hufflepuff Quidditch Team, coming in from practice was milling around the notices displaying their efforts.

According to some second and third years they had met, Rita Skeeter had been spotted making her erratic way back to the Ravenclaw Common Room, hiding behind statues and columns as much as possible with a stolen Slytherin scarf wrapped around her head, leaving a trail of feathers and troll mucus on her root.

Lily, who didn't often gloat, felt a very strong inclination to at that moment. James, who had a very extensive history of gloating, was holding up very well, considering the circumstances.

It was when they reached the Entrance Hall that Lily and James had run out of copies to put up.

"Being Head Boy has its perks," James said, as his wand flicked out of his cloak with a flourish, "and one of them is being able to do magic in the corridors."

Lily held out their remaining parchment for him to duplicate.

"_Diplo poli_."

Lily smiled as sheets of parchment appeared in her hands, all with the fantastic photograph on them, along with the article. Strangely enough, she wasn't really smiling at the parchments. She was smiling at James. James was smiling back.

They seemed to be doing that a lot recently, ever since the day before in the Hospital Wing. One of them would say something, they would smile, and go on smiling for no other reason that the fact that they were smiling. Lily found that liked smiling at James, after thinking for so many years that he didn't deserve it. She also liked it when he smiled back at her, this being another new discovery. James, on the other hand, had always liked it when Lily smiled at him, therefore he smiled back . . . which caused Lily to smile at him . . . which caused him to smile at her . . .

It was a vicious circle . . . well actually, it was quite a peaceful and amiable circle, really.

Unfortunately, all this smiling rather distracted the Head Boy and Girl from the level the parchment was reaching in Lily's arms. This level was becoming very high indeed and Lily only realised how many copies were mounting up when the pile reached the bottom of her chin and it suddenly occurred to her that her arms felt like they were being dislocated with the weight.

"Oh, gosh!" she cried as her knees buckled.

"Whoa!" James yelled, lunging forward to catch a clumsy hold of the pile. "_Fine Incantatem!_"

"Ah," Lily commented in a flat voice, struggling to support the papers.

"Hold on, I'll get it," James said, catching a parchment that was sliding off the top with one hand while grappling at the bottom with the other.

"Wait! It's slipping over this side!" Lily said, making mad grabs for a bit in the middle of the pile that was threatening to slip out.

Piles of parchment have a sly habit of dispersing every which way and they were making a good go at trying to escape the grasp of the two seventh years and submit to gravity, for this reason, both Lily and James found themselves taking steps forwards towards each other to trap the various sections of parchment that were going various ways.

"Oh, Merlin," sighed James. "This is so bloody typical."

"Personally, I don't really see how this can be salvaged," agreed Lily.

It then came to their attention, that even with a heavy pile of parchment being prevented from falling only by the way it was wedged between them, they really were standing quite close together. If Lily were to stand very still and look upwards, her eyes would be exactly at the level of James's chin. Moreover, if James were to stand very still and look downward, their eyes would be at an exact diagonal and interestingly, so would their lips.

If Lily were to stand on her tip toes and if James were to bend down only a little . . .

Something slipped between them and Lily gasped as all the parchments they had been holding dislodged themselves and cascaded spectacularly onto the floor at their feet. Both James and Lily looked down in silence as the pile made a resounding slap on the flagstones, followed by a riffling of paper as loose sheets of parchment swung to and fro, floating down gently onto the floor.

James glanced up at Lily, but she still had her head bent and her eyes flicked to the side. He watched her as she bopped down onto her knees and slowly began to gather up the sheets into a pile. Once James had bent down to help, he noticed a blush flowering under her freckles.

For some reason, neither of them remembered to use their wands.

_Stop blushing!_ Lily told herself furiously. _You are being utterly ridiculous!_

What in the name of magic was going on? Lily Evans hardly _ever_ blushed, especially not around _boys_. She had never blushed because of Diggory, nor had she ever blushed around Professor Milo (their fabulously good looking replacement professor who took over when one of the big Christmas trees fell on Professor Flitwick in their fourth year). She hadn't even blushed when she was served by that boy in the Three Broomsticks who had the most beautiful hair she had ever seen and had come over to her and Verity's table to put a pink snapdragon in her empty Butterbeer bottle.

It was not that Lily minded the red haze she felt creeping across her face, but why did it have to be _Potter,_ of _all people?_ They had only just become friends and now she was standing on her toes to snog him? She didn't know why, but the thought of kissing Potter made her stomach feel like it was filling with an all-singing, all-dancing cabaret of sock puppets.

Feverishly, she made extra haste in shuffling the copies together, but stopped when she felt something on her hand. It was another hand. It was a hand attached to the rest of the Head Boy.

It was a strange feeling to have the coldness of the flagstone under her fingers and the warmth of James's over her own.

"Sorry," he said quietly . . . but he didn't move his hand. Lily didn't really know what he was sorry for, but found that she didn't really care all that much.

"It's all right," she replied.

James then did the oddest thing. He opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something. Then he closed it, as if he had suddenly thought better. This was most uncharacteristic. Lily had never known of another scenario where James Potter had not said exactly what he felt like saying. Thank you very much.

After a while they carried on clearing up the mess.

* * *

While Lily was kneeling there on the floor, picking up parchment and being confused about how she was feeling, somewhere on the same floor, there was occurring a conversation in which her friends were voicing an equal confusion as to how the Head Girl was feeling.

"You know, I'm not sure I can take it anymore," Verity said conversationally as she stapled a copy of _Hogwarts Hearsay_ to the wall with her wand. "I _need_ to know what is going on in that girl's head."

Remus, who was standing beside her, holding a pile of their publication to be put up, glanced at the way the parchment crinkled into the wall, showing the unusual violence of the stapling charm.

"Tense much?" he asked.

"I mean, it's just so _weird_," Verity continued, in a voice that portrayed some sort of social disapproval. "Why is he not dead yet? More importantly, why are they not sneaking off to the Astronomy Tower together yet? Lily _knows_ James isn't a prick anymore, what more does she need?"

"I don't know why the _boy_ doesn't get a move on," Sirius commented lazily from where he was leaning against the opposite wall, finishing off a packet of Liquorice Wands. "No point in beating about the proverbial bush, is there? Now's as good a time as any to ask whether she'll go out with him. She likes him, doesn't she?" Not really doing anything to help their endeavour, he turned the packet inside out and started scooping up the fine sugar that dusted the inside of the foil, a time honoured tradition amongst Liquorice Wand-lovers.

"This might sound a little strange to you, Padfoot," Remus said, handing over another newsletter to be stapled, "but maybe Prongs just doesn't want to push it. You'll agree that this is probably the best their relationship has ever been, right?"

"Damn straight," nodded Sirius, his tongue coated in orange sugar. "This castle is so empty without the sultry sound of Lily cursing James within an inch of his life. Even the wildlife's getting confused at the lack of noise and violence."

"Well then," said Remus, "maybe he thinks this is the best it's going to get, and doesn't want to cock it up?"

"Ah, the old share and scare problem," Sirius said, pointing an orange finger upwards and raising his eyebrows in the motion of a scientist participating in a very important discussion. "Share your love, scare your love, the timeless way of alienating close friend and casual acquaintance alike."

"Exactly."

"That's tosh," Verity said in a smaller voice, staring straight at Remus, "of course he wouldn't alienate her. What if she likes him too?"

"How is he to know that?" Remus replied, in a voice even more quiet, and one had to wonder if the two of them were still talking on the subjects they had started off on.

Behind them, Sirius stopped rustling his liquorice packet and glanced suspiciously from Remus to Verity.

"Bollocks to this," Verity said, stuffing her wand into her back pocket, "I'm going to find her and winkle the truth out of her right now!"

"What? But she's with Prongs!" Sirius pointed out.

"Yes, we agreed to get them on their own," said Remus, but Verity took off down the corridor, jogging backwards to shout.

"I'll tell her I need to go to the loo," she called, "girls can never go to the loo on their own!"

"That's true," Sirius told Remus, nodding as if from experience.

"Come on," the sandy-haired boy replied, and they started after Verity.

* * *

James was beginning to wonder if Lily was ever going to speak to him again. More importantly, he was beginning to wonder if he would ever be able to speak to her again. Whenever he thought of something to say, it started to seem so out of place in the situation. Neither of them had said anything in the past five minutes of picking up papers. It was very odd.

He also wondered if Lily would have really kissed him if their pile of parchment hadn't decided to pull a nose dive on them.

Perhaps he should ask?

"_Lilo!_" came a voice from down the corridor. The two Heads turned around from the floor to see Verity jogging down the corridor, followed by Sirius and Remus. Grabbing the pile of papers she had made, Lily scrambled to her feet.

"What's going on?" she asked, as her best friend neared. "Have you finished?"

Remus hastily hid his copies of _Hogwarts Hearsay_ behind his back.

"Er . . . Yes!" grinned Verity, "I need the loo, let's go."

"What?" asked Lily, as Verity snaked her arm through hers and dragged her off, "but I was . . ."

"You were what?"

Lily glanced back at James but only for a moment.

"Nevermind," she said.

"I was going to say," Verity said, "you don't expect me to go _on my own_, do you?" Lily gasped.

"No! Of course not! What kind of friend do you take me for?"

"I thought so . . ."

Their voices became fainter as they disappeared around the corner, leaving the Marauders standing amongst the remaining sheets of parchment of the floor.

"Why in the name of magic do girls _always _go to the loo together?" asked James, running a hand over his head.

"Nobody knows but them, Prongs, my ol' mate," Sirius said.

"And they're in no hurry to tell us," added Remus.

"Why?" Sirius suddenly asked James. "What are you getting so narked about it for? Girls do it all the time. Were you . . . _busy_, by any chance?"

"_What?_" James asked incredulously. He blew outwards through his top teeth and tipped his chin downwards. "Pf! No, I _was not_ busy! What a notion! You two are crackers. I was with _Lilo_, for Merlin's sake . . ."

His best friends glanced sideways at each other while James clutched a pile of papers to his chest uncomfortably.

"Then why are you going all twitchy?" asked Remus.

"Yeah, and why is your voice going a bit high and squeaky around the edges?" added Sirius.

"I am not!" declared James defiantly, trying to make voice as low as possible, "and it is not! What are you implying?"

"Only that you and Lily seem to be getting a lot friendlier lately," Remus said, shrugging noncommittally.

"Yeah, she's stopped cursing you when you feel her up."

"Number one: I have never felt Lily up," James said, "number two: . . ."

No words followed this introduction. Instead, James blinked an awful lot and made various pouting movements with his mouth.

Sirius sniggered and Remus folded his arms, smirking.

"All right, fine," James said, smiling as he unfolded his arms from around the newsletters and chucked them onto the floor in surrender. "The gig is up. You've rumbled me. I think Lily has changed her mind about how much of a twat I am."

"Hah! Didn't I tell you?" Remus exclaimed.

"Yeah, all right, you told me, but _I_ made it happen," Sirius argued.

"No, you didn't, really," said Remus.

"Yes, I did!" Sirius insisted, "I flicked the magic switch in Lilo's head."

"Yeah, with _one question_, before which Prongs has been having an entire attitude adjustment," Remus maintained.

James was beginning to look a bit put out.

"Er . . hello?" he said flatly, waving a hand around between his best friends. "And here I was thinking this was supposed to be a joyous occasion?"

Sirius and Remus had the decency to look slightly ashamed.

"You're right, we're terribly sorry," Remus said.

"Definitely," added Sirius.

"In fact, we're overjoyed!" continued Remus, nodding at Sirius.

"That's right!" Sirius nodded back, then he turned, grinning to James and cheered. "Congratulations! Weh-hey!"

James folded his arms, sniggering.

"You two are stark-raving, did you know that?" he asked, smiling as he started off towards the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Yeah, whatever, mate," Sirius dismissed, "I'm still going to be your best man at the wedding."

"What makes you think he'll pick you?" Remus asked, leaning forward round James to peer at Sirius.

"Er, _more importantly_, what makes you think I'm even _getting married_?" James interrupted.

"What do you mean? Of course you're getting married!" Sirius said, as if James were dense. "Lily's cottoned on to the fact that you're nicer than she thought. Just ask her out next chance you get and you'll be exchanging vows in no time!"

"You know, Sirius," Remus said, as James simply gaped, "as best man, you will have to write a speech."

"Sure, I'll just get you to write it for me," Sirius shrugged.

"Hey, _whoa_," James exclaimed, grasping each of his best friends by the backs of their collars and stopping them in the middle of the corridor. "_Before_ you start writing any manner of Best Man's speeches, you might want to know that my chances of getting Lily to marry me are slimmer than the latest line of _Cleansweeps_. She and I are _just friends_, and I have a feeling we're going to stay that way."

"Oh, really?" drawled Sirius. "Well, where is this _feeling_ of yours, then? I'll beat its arse and make it see sense."

"Yes, Prongs, you've wanted to be with Lily for so long," Remus agreed. "Not to sound sickening, but you two _belong_ together."

James sighed, but his eyebrows rose in an expression that suggested he agreed.

"Maybe," he said diplomatically, "I just . . . want to give it some space, all right? I don't want to ruin it. Today's probably been the best day of my life and I don't want all Lily's smiles, hugs and friendship to disappear just like that."

"Don't worry, they won't," Remus insisted, pushing James forward again towards the Gryffindor Tower. "Do whatever you think is appropriate, Prongs, just . . . don't keep us in suspense for too long, eh?

"Yeah. You don't want Moony to have to write a whole speech for nothing, do you?" added Sirius.

* * *

"Er, Verity," Lily said at some point during their stroll. "Wasn't the turning towards the girls' bathroom on the left we just passed?"

"Oh, Lilo," Verity replied kindly, "we're not going to the girl's bathroom."

"We aren't?" asked Lily, beginning to worry slightly as an effect of the faintly crazed look on her best friend's face and the unusually tight grip of her arm looped through Lily's elbow.

"Oh, no," verity said, closing for a moment in reverence. "The girls' bathroom is for small talk with people you see in there once or twice but don't particularly like. It is the place you go when you have a Herbology exam that you haven't revised for, or when you want tell someone that you're thinking of dumping your boyfriend for his best mate and want there to be absolutely no chance of him hearing it. Our little chat will be much more heavy duty. We're going to the Heads' Dorms."

"And what would this little heavy-duty chat be concerning?" asked Lily, fearing the worst.

"What else?" Verity replied with relish as they arrived in front of the twin cherry oak panelled doors, "but your love life?"

"Wha-?" Lily said, very articulately as Verity said the password and pushed her inside. "What are you talking about, Ver? You know as well as anyone (despite Skeeter's continuous efforts to convey the contrary) that my love life is about as interesting as watching a slug who's watching Professor Binns who's watching the grass on the Quidditch pitch grow. There's nothing to tell that was worth dragging me all this way for."

"Oh, come on, Lily," Verity said, "sit down and be reasonable. As we both know, I am your best friend and therefore I am entitled to know and remember every single, small, minute, seemingly insignificant detail of your life and comment on whichever I deem worthy."

"Do you now?"

"Certainly, it goes along with my duty to stay up late with you on week nights, eating ice cream straight out of the tub whilst reading magazines and my right to steal any item of clothing you possess from your wardrobe at any given time."

"I see." Lily sat down on the sofa next to Verity, "So, darling best friend of mine, which factor of my love life would you like to talk about? The fact that I have not had a boyfriend in over six months or the fact that there have not been any offers from anyone to rectify the situation?"

"James asks you out," Verity said, quite fairly.

"He doesn't count, he's been doing it for close on three years, even when I was going out with Diggory," Lily quipped back. "Besides, I don't think he'll be asking me out again any time soon, somehow," and Verity tripped on something in her best friend's tone.

"How is your relationship with ol' James these days?" she asked, never one to beat about the bush.

"_Why_ do people keep asking me that?" Lily asked, in a voice that was trying to avoid something.

"Because it looks interesting, I expect," Verity said, leaning towards Lily and jutting her chin out in a rather intrusive manner. "They must have surely noticed how you and James seem to be getting along all the better these days. Specifically . . . today."

Lily said nothing. She simply sat very still with her hands clasped between her knees and tried desperately to look as though she could not think what her best friend could possibly be talking about.

Finally, after a continuous staring-at from Verity, Lily cracked.

"All right! All right!" she yelled, and her hands jumped from between her knees to grip the sofa cushions on either side of them.

"Haha!" Verity cried triumphantly, "I knew it!"

But nothing could stop Lily from opening the flood doors on everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours.

"So yesterday night in the Hospital Wing when Sirius asked me what I hated about Potter, I really couldn't think of anything at all, which was really odd and quite bizarre because you know Potter has never really been my favourite person, ever, in the history of anything, so sometime during the night when I had gotten over my shock and pulled myself together, I asked myself: what reason is there really to hate the boy? So next morning, Potter wakes up and asks me what's wrong because you know he does that really creepy thing where he knows exactly where I am and exactly how I'm feeling that sometimes scares the magic out of me and sometimes I am really quite thankful for? Yeah, well, he knew something was wrong and the thing was, I just felt so guilty for having been so nasty to him for so long when he did nothing to deserve it. I didn't know what to say to him and I tried to keep my mouth shut but it didn't really work, like it's not really working now. Anyway, I had a bit of a breakdown right there in the Hospital Wing bed and the boy was just so nice to me (although Merlin knows why) and now we're kind of friends . . . well, he says I was always his friend, but we're kind of . . . mutually friends . . . The End."

Lily said this all very fast and in a voice that jumped from pitch to pitch like a butterfly on a sugar-high on a strong summer's breeze. It was like trying to condense _Hogwarts, A History_ into three sentences. There was just so much to say.

"Crickey," said Verity, grinning like a Cornish Pixie in a glassware shop. "That was a saga and a half."

"Oh, and NB," added Lily, "there's also the small matter of us having almost kissed."

"_WHAT?_"

"Twice."

". . . I say again: _WHAT?_"

"Once this morning in the hospital wing before you dropped the Skeeter bombshell, once this afternoon when we were putting up newsletters."

"Gosh, you don't hang around much, do you?" Verity said quite amazed. "You go from friends to potential snoggers in under ten minutes. I thought James was first on your grand list of people whom you would rather kill than kiss."

Lily sighed in a rather dreamy way, and smiled, leaning back on the sofa with a wave of her hand.

"He used to be," she said slowly, "but now, I think he's been quite removed from that list."

"Oh? And is he on a new list, then?"

"Possibly," Lily said shyly. "In fact, I think he may be first on the list of people I would rather kiss than kill."

"_Really now?_" exclaimed Verity, excitedly.

"Yes, yes," Lily said, waving her friend away, "and I shall say no more."

"Oh, yes, you sodding well shall," dismissed Verity. "This calls for pyjamas, ice cream and magazines. We may well be here all night."

* * *

**a/n:** So, as you all know, the previous chapter saw Rita Skeeter being publicly humiliated and we all had a good laugh at her. Fun times.

I hope you all have your invitations, because I've decided to move the SkeeterBeater party to . . . today! **_Welcome to koonelli and Anne-Janet's SkeeterBeater party!_**

All right, now, imagine that all I'm giving you is Rita Skeeter. There she is, in the middle of nothing. This is your chance to do anything you want to Rita, but please, nothing too violent or dangerous. Bear in mind, this fic is a T. You can put Rita anywhere you like (within reason) and can do just about anything to make her miserable. The best entries will explain clearly how Rita came to be in her awful situation, (not just plonk her in the middle of it with no explanation). For example, if you choose to put her in the middle of the Sahara, this is going to take a lot of explaining. You may well also include other characters that you create who can be the medium of any curses that befall Rita.

It would also be good if your entry is well written and entertaining. If I laugh, these are big points.

Here are a few guidelines.

1) Try and stick to cannon. For example, I really doubt there are any fire extinguishers at Hogwarts.  
2) No electrical appliances of any kind.  
3) No glass.  
4) Please do not kill Rita Skeeter. This is murder and I may have to call the police. Besides, I might want to use her in another fic and I can't do that if she's dead now, can I?  
5) You can even re-write the broom closet scene in the previous chapter if you want. You might not want to have her in a broom closet at all.

If you want to keep your review for this chapter and you entry separate, you can email them to me at koonelli (at) gmail . com

The best ones will have a one shot dedicated to the author. I know this is rather a crap prize, but I don't know what else I can put up for grabs.

Have fun!

P.S. If you are a pacifist and do not believe in Violence Against Skeeter I'm very sorry. Please feel free to write me an angry review. Or just review the chapter. :D

**Thunder's Shadow**: I should have made them kiss, shouldn't I? Oh, well, plenty of time for that. Congrats on your subscribers and no problem.

**everblue3**: Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed it. You're completely right; I do like my characters to have a good time of it. In fact, I make sure they have a good time. Thank you for noticing. :)

**MelissaMarie**: Shirtless!Sirius . . . nothing better, I'm sure you'll agree.

**Someone Special**: Thank you so much for saying lovely things. I always liked to be called original.

**Shanti**: I think we all agree she deserved it. I have so much fun writing that.

**FrighteninglyObsessed**: That type of action WOULD have been wrong. :D I kind of feel sorry for Peter, so I have to put him in my fics basically because I pity him . . . which is sort of worse than leaving him out altogether, in a way.

**Miss Lady Marauder**: If you're impatient, I'm sure you had a great time waiting for this chapter. I'm glad you liked the sequence of events.

**drumer girl**: Yeah, it sucks, nevermind, after Spring Break, I only have 3 weeks of school left!

**Victoria87**: So I'm scary now, am I? Don't worry; I can never be pissed with reviewers because well . . . they review! So you found someone? That's great. Make sure to drop me a line when the first chapter's up.

**Alcapacien**: I'm really glad you liked the chapter. Thank you very much!

**GlassBroomstick**: Well I found a bit of time to write in other classes. Thing is, now all my writing is on different pieces of paper in various notebooks and folders and it's such a pain to find all the paragraphs I wrote. Grr.

**The Big Dance**: Oh, now I feel coy, you flatterer. It's good that you like my style. Yes, I know how younger siblings are, unfortunately.

**IamSiriusgrl**: Haha, maybe I should offer shirtless!Sirius up to anyone who reviews, do you think that would work:D

**MissMrprk**: Genius!

**melissa**: Thanks so much for your note!

**Ethuiliel**: Haha, Sadly they were rather self obsessed, but never mind.

**oReeseso**: Thank you so much for telling me of your squealing (I do that too.) I think there are about two or three chapters left to this story. Around there. Would you like me to pad it out for you:D

**shortywithbrains**: I suppose after the initial shock of pain he was alright. ;) Well spotted though. Are you kidding? Chemistry? Interesting? Are you ill?

**Tsusetsu**: You're right, if I learn too much chemistry, all the creativity will be squeezed out of me. This has to stop.

**limbo-gal**: I love Sirius. He's great. Thanks for the comments! Read again!

**Red-Emerald**: Such flattery! What do you mean you don't understand the whole going to the bathroom in groups thing? It's a law of nature! You don't question it! You just do it! Sheesh. :D

**Gred and Forge Weasley**: Haha, thanks, I hope I can get the next chapter up soon, it's spring break.

**The ORIGINAL Meathead**: It was so funny reading you're review! I could see it all in my head. Maybe you should write a one shot?

**SiriusProtege**: Ah, reading fanfiction in IT, the age old way of avoiding boredom. Kudos. I don't really like it when people go from hate to love just like that either. There's still some pre-snog fluff to be had. Never fear.

**Sushinase**: Your noodle is your brain, so when someone says 'you're using your noodle' it means 'you're using your brain'. It's kind of old and only said by the over 50s. Miss Skower's is a brand of Magical Mess Remover. I suppose James was suggesting they wash Anita's mouth out with Miss Skowers. I hope this helps. :D

**Anne-Janet**: She gets glared at enough as it is, I think. Never mind. Thanks for the review!

**SnakeEyesHannah**: I'm really glad you liked so many thing in the chappy. Sirius is distracted easily, but that's why I love him. He's so funny.

**vickiicky**: Stopped smiling yet:)

**charbar**: Aha, I understand. I hope you're having a good holiday. Yes, now Lily and James are united against . . . you know, stuff. Have fun.

**naidel**: What? Learn to let it go? Never! There's no ANGER MANAGEMENT at HOGWARTS:D

**kaiyana**: Urg, I don't think I could stand Rita long enough to write a stand alone fic. She's drive me crackers. However, if you wanna have a go, by all means. :D

**Tracey**: Cheese rocks! I love it!

**mika-mitch**: An entire week? Grrr. I'm so jealous. I'll try to update, because I'm on holiday now. Although, I should be working.

**siriusforeva**: Haha, thanks! Go Gryffindor!

**JamieBell**: A bucket? I've done that with a cardboard box. That IS ironic. Well, I hope you've learnt your lesson. Never turn down hugs from fit boys.

**LilMizHeartbreaker**: Thanks for the note! Thank God for holidays, no chem for three weeks.

**Unregistered-Animagus**: Fanfiction should always cheer you up after school. That's what it's there for. Thanks for the review!

**bobo-32**: Thanks for the note, I try to write fast but sometimes I don't have time. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

**soccerchic1989**: Speaking of Haagen Dazs, I need some. Hold on a sec. Brilliant. Where was I? Oh, yes, Rita got what she deserved no question. Revenge is sweet.

**dragoneye**: That I should have. I'm sure she caught her reflection in a window somewhere. Oh well, thanks for the note!

**Lady of Masbolle**: I'm amazed I provoke that kind of reaction. :D

**PhoenixPlume**: Glad you liked it, read again!

**snazzysnez**: Thank you very much, I'm happy it was funny. I hope they get together soon too, I don't want this fic to drag on forever.

**Call-Sugarhigh-Police**: I've discovered I can write whilst curling my hair. Genius.

**milky way bar**: Girls always go to the bathroom in groups. They have to otherwise the space/time continuum will implode. Tell your friend that.

**newsieduckling**: Somehow I don't think they would like the idea of my having never paid attention to them. I think we should just keep quiet about my writing chapters in her class, hm?

**natalie**: Sophmore or junior? I dunno. All I know is that I'm in year 11 over here, but I don't think it's the same as over there. I'm 16, does that help?

**ebony-plays-the-viola**: You're going to Argentina? What a lucky sod you are. Send me a postcard. :D Sorry about the spelling errors, I'm crap at stuff like that. Phantasmagorical is the shiz.

**Elspeth Renee**: Yes, watch the bond forming. I'm cultivating it carefully. That makes me sound rather pervy, doesn't it? Oh, well.

**breziebear**: So you were hyped. That's good. I like hyped reviews, they're all the funnier.

**geckaclark**: A lot of people seem to be falling off their chairs laughing. I think there's an epidemic going around.

**hazeled eye marauder**: Thanks a lot, see you next chappy.

**kiwislushie**: Haha, thanks. A plague on chem teachers everywhere. Well, actually not because I suppose some of them are nice people, but still, I wish they'd stop moving me to the front.

**razzle-dazzle-me**: Thanks a lot, lovely. Read again.

**Denierure**: Who does like Sirius's guts:D

**ArekuKatari**: I'm glad you enjoy reading Sirius. I do enjoy writing him.

**notyouraverageblond**: Oh, I intend to. :D

**HarryluvsMoaningMyrtle**: Your name is so rockin'. I love it.

**SeCrEt LiLy**: Hello! I'm glad you decided to start reader. Welcome to the fold.

**MyOnlyCat**: Cheers!

**Next Chappy:  
**You'd think it would bevery nice to be threatened with a spoon full of ice cream, but then you'd be surprised  
Much like at the beginning of the fic, things get thrown at Lily.  
There's a bit of a party going down in the Head's Dorms. Rock on.

Lots of luff, your ON SPRING BREAK author.


	15. Odds at the Bookie's

**Fifteen – Odds at the Bookie's **

After the hectic weekend of paparazzi war and revenge, the Head Girl herself could be found lying on the sofa in the Head's Common Room in her pyjamas, a blanket tangled around her legs and an empty tub of Edmund and Jonno's Cockroach Cluster flavoured ice cream on the coffee table in font of her, spoon sticking out.

It seemed she and her best friend had not been bothered enough to go back upstairs once they had polished off three tubs of ice cream and read out every single article in every magazine they possessed.

For the moment, it had escaped Lily's notice that it was, in fact, a Monday morning and that she was expected in a series of lessons very, very soon. At that moment, she was in the hazy area between waking up and actually getting up, a place where you are fully conscious, but have not quite made the decision to open your eyes yet.

Far from going down the route of opening her eyes, Lily was just considering the option of dipping back into sleep when she heard the sound of the doors opening, and then voices, one of a boy, one of a girl.

"So, I've been thinking . . ."

"Sh! Lily's still asleep."

Lily heard the cushions of the other sofa shifting as someone sat down.

"Sorry . . . I've been thinking about what you said yesterday. Well, I've been more thinking about what you _implied_ yesterday."

There was a moment of silence.

"You're doing that thing where you begin to say something and don't finish."

"Sorry, about what you said yesterday. I think you were completely right . . . I think you _are_ completely right and I think I like you ever more for it. I _know_ I like you even more for it."

"You're doing that thing where you reiterate everything you say."

"Sorry, it's just . . . I know I've been rubbish when it comes to being your friend and I know I've given so many excuses as to why nothing will ever go very far, (some excuses more genuine than others) but I've just been so afraid of hurting myself and anyone else . . . especially you."

"You're doing that thing where you tell me things I already know."

"Sorry, I think I will just stop talking and kiss you."

Lily smiled. Their soft murmuring in the background was gone and now she could go back to sleep. Everything was right in the world.

Realisation broke so suddenly that there might have been a snapping sound in Lily's head. Her eyes flew open and there she saw Verity and Remus sitting on the other sofa sharing a kiss.

"Aha!" Lily said sleepily. Perhaps it was just Lily, but Remus and her best friend didn't seem to be in any hurry to break apart. It was a little reluctant if you asked her. She didn't think they were striking the proper adequately apologetic tone either. Well, at least they had the decency to stand up and look embarrassed. Verity coughed and rubbed the palms of her hands down the sides of her legs while Remus tilted his head downwards and adjusted his school tie.

Not liking the fact that she was sitting down while they were stood, Lily stumbled to her feet and snatched the spoon out of the empty ice cream tub, pointing it at the two other Gryffindors for good measure.

"Aha!" she repeated, shaking the spoon, which unfortunately flicked melted ice cream right onto Remus and Verity.

"Look, Lily," Remus began raising his hands in defence, "just put the spoon down, there's a good girl."

"Yeah, Lilo, there's really nothing to get so worked up about."

"_Nothing to get so worked up about?_" repeated Lily incredulously. "Nothing, maybe apart from best friend," (she pointed the spoon at Verity) "snogging other friend? Perhaps? Without ever a mention, suggestion, or apparent inclination to snog other friend? Maybe?"

Remus and Verity glanced at each other.

"Actually, I was surprised you hadn't twigged already," Verity murmured to her shoes.

"We were being rather obvious," added Remus, "James and Sirius guessed ages ago."

"Really?" Lily asked in an inquiring voice and the spoon took on a less threatening position next to her shoulder. "Gosh, maybe they're both more perceptive then I thought."

Speaking of perception, Lily was hit by a sudden wave of it.

"By the way," she said suddenly, her eyes flicking down towards her friends' attire. "Why are you both in school uniform?"

"Because . . . it's Monday?" Verity said.

"Nine forty-five on the morning of," Remus added, "we have Potions in . . . fifteen minutes."

Lily's eyes widened and she looked around in horror. Needless to say, in her pyjamas, with her hair in disarray and her equipment for the day disorganised, she was liable to get into a bit of a panic. Listening to the variation of curses that emerged from Lily's mouth, Verity was impressed.

"I suppose we'll see you downstairs, then?" Remus shouted to the Head Girl over the sound of her racing to her door and slamming it behind her.

Verity raised her eyebrows and smiled at Remus while he glanced back uneasily.

"Well, er . . ." he said quietly, "that went well."

Verity grinned wider and raised a finger to scoop a fleck of ice cream off the boy's nose and licked it cheekily.

"Could have been worse," she said offhandedly, setting off towards the door.

* * *

Lily met her best friend and the Marauders at the exit to the Great Hall. Having rushed about for the past ten minutes in a mad hurry to get ready, Lily had no time to sit down and have breakfast, but she had made the informed decision that she had already forgiven Verity for not telling her about her romantic interests.

She was further convinced this decision was the right one when her best friend handed her a warm Danish Pastry on her arrival, not that the Head Girl was condoning blackmail in any way.

"Sorry," Verity said quietly as the two of them led the way to the dungeons.

"For what?" smiled Lily, chomping on her pastry.

At some point on the group's stroll, James caught up with Lily and Verity.

"Morning," he said cheerfully, and once again, Lily felt some kind of hiccup in her chest that made her very air inside her lungs feel shy and made her want to smile. Verity did not help the situation any by sniggering at her expression.

She was just about to reply with a 'Good Morning' when James tripped and almost went flying.

"Whoa!" Lily yelled and grabbed his arm.

"Oi," James exclaimed indignantly, turning around to stare at someone behind him. When Lily turned to look, she saw a group of Slytherin fifth years they had only just passed. Many of them were sniggering at James and the one closest to the outside of the group (a boy with thick eyebrows and a nose of a rather unfortunate size) was staring straight back at James with a mockingly defiant expression.

"What?" the boy spat, smirking, but James just shook his head with a vaguely disgusted expression and carried on walking. In this action, he amazed even himself. Two years ago and he would have hexed the Slytherin into last week.

"What in magic was that about?" Lily asked him quietly once she had made sure that Sirius was _only _intending to give a threatening glare to the group and jogged to catch up.

"Some twat stuck his foot out," James told her. Lily tisked.

"Merlin, how immature," she said in a what-is-the-world-coming-to? tone. "I mean, sticking your foot out? Who does that anymore?"

"No one," Sirius supplied, "that gag was outdated thirty seconds before the first person to think of it thought of it."

"Good of you to just ignore it though," Remus commented.

"Yeah, nice one to disregard the louts," added Verity.

"The question is," Lily said suddenly, "who in their right mind would trip _you_ up?"

* * *

Later that day, James understood what was going on. Other members of the Gryffindor Quidditch team had reported being tripped up, kicked, attacked, hexed and/or cursed during the course of the afternoon.

_It's starting already_, he thought, and he was absolutely correct. The pre-Inter House Quidditch Cup Final hype was getting into full swing, and the match was still over three weeks away. Soon, James, Lily, Verity and Sirius had to be careful whenever they ventured out of the Heads Dorms or the Gryffindor Tower. Innocent supporters were getting caught up in the excessive competitive spirit and tensions showed when various fist fights and minor duels began to break out in the corridors. Lily and James were only on their way to Advanced Defence when they witnessed a Slytherin boy and Gryffindor girl, both in third year being dragged in the direction of the dungeons by Filch.

"He said Gryffindor would only have a chance of winning if his team spontaneously keeled over and died on the field!" the girl was shouting furiously, struggling against the grip the caretaker had on her collar.

"She said 'Magic willing, they will!'" the boy yelled back.

"I don't care who done it!" Filch roared at them both, tugging harder on their various articles of clothing . "In my book, yer both guilty! Guilty for getting yer splat marks on the effin' windows, now shut yer 'oles!"

Despite the restrictions of school policy, a widespread gambling venture had been set up by various individuals in the backbenches of classrooms. Odds were going around not only as to whom would win the match, but how many players would be knocked out by injury, how much time it would be before the first foul was awarded for Quaffle-pocking and if or when there would be any crowd streaking during the match.

Even poor old Remus had been offered a substantial amount of money plus a new broomstick on the condition that he do his best to say distracting things about his own house's team during the match.

"You know what you should have done," Sirius said to him, when Remus told them of his encounter with someone who obviously preferred to remain anonymous by the way he apparently was wearing a Honeydukes Pick'n'Mix bag over his head. "Taken the money and then slagged _them_ off during the match."

"That's a fabulous idea, Padfoot!" Remus said sarcastically, "then you can all come and see me in the emergency ward at St Mungo's when the Slytherins assassinate me."

"Was only a suggestion."

Notices went up all over the school reminding students that the school administration forbade both physical and magical violence in the strictest manner and consequences would be most serious for anyone who broke these rules. It was clear how well these public announcements were working when Madam Pomfrey complained to the school administration that the incidents of broken noses she had to treat had gone up by three hundred per cent.

Of course, at the heart of all this tension were the Gryffindor and Slytherin teams themselves.

Lily especially had come under intense fire since the Slytherins had discovered that James had no reserve Seeker. There was also a theory going around that if Lily weren't playing, James's concentration would go down the drain. This theory was of course based on the well-known fact that James fancied Lily's socks off. Suddenly, Lily found herself being pelted with all manner of odd projectiles including dungbombs, ink bottles, gobstones, and once, even an empty can of pumpkin fizz. It was possibly the first time that Lily was thankful for the reflexes she had built up against all the things James had thrown at her when they were eleven.

She and Verity mostly shrugged it off. Verity commented that this sort of pre-match violence happened all the time. Things only got really bad in the week leading up the match when Lily was just shutting the door to the Heads Dorms one morning. Waiting for her outside in the corridor was James, accompanied by two of the largest boys Lily had ever seen. She recalled them both being in seventh year, and their ties told her they were in Hufflepuff. They weren't quite as tall as James, but they were twice as wide and had a way of standing that gave the impression most people would back against the wall to let them pass, even in a four metre-wide tunnel. If it came down to a fight between the two of them, Lily wasn't sure who would take whom.

"Ah, there she is," James grinned, pushing himself upright off the wall with his foot. "Lilo, let me introduce you to Gareth and Trev."

"Hello," Lily said cautiously, hitching the strap of her bag further up her shoulder.

"Hiya,"

"Awrite?"

"Er . . . Potter? What are Gareth and Trev doing here? Shouldn't they be going to their lessons?"

"Well, Lilo, I'm very glad you asked that," James said, putting his hand on her back and guiding her towards Charms. Gareth and Trev followed. "You see, Gareth and Trev have very kindly promised to take time out of their own schedules to make sure nothing happens to you at the hands of those dirty cheating Slytherins. Isn't that right, lads?"

"Yes, yes, it is, Mr Potter, it is," said the boy whom Lily had gathered to be Trev.

"Y'see, Miss Lily, strictly speakin', being Hufflepuff, we is s'posed to be neutral, you know?" Gareth explained leaning over Lily's left side.

"Howeva," continued Trev, "we've also bin somewhat appawled at de massiv amount of dirty dealin's whot 'av bin goin' on, know whot I mean?"

"I see," Lily said, as James nodded solemnly.

"Derfore," said Gareth, "we is just gonna be around tila match, awrite? Only durin'a day around school, y'know?"

"'Xept for da ladies' room, cos we ain't allowed to go der. Y'won't even notice us . . . promise."

"OK," Lily said uneasily, not quite clear on how she wouldn't notice two six foot four blokes following her around. "Thank you . . . I suppose."

"No problem."

And so, for the majority of the next week, Lily was never without Gareth or Trev, who both turned out to be especially good at blocking curses and also quite good fun, especially when Verity and Lily asked them who they would rather date out of all the member of the Weird Sisters and sparked off a debate that spanned two days. The other good side of being flanked by two six foot four blokes was that people on the whole seemed to be less keen on throwing things and, according to the bookies, the odds of Lily being out of the match were down by eighty-seven per cent.

When Lily wasn't with Gareth or Trev, she was with James, who, towards Friday seemed to be taking on their bodyguard duties as his own when he said to Gareth and Trev on the Friday morn,

"It's alright lads, I'll take it from here."

"Right you are, Mr Potter."

"Good luck ina match, Miss Lily."

"Oh?" inquired Lily. "Are Gareth and Trev out of a job now?"

"No, I think they've done a very good job of stopping you getting lynch-mobbed," James said.

"Look, Potter," Lily said as they arrived outside their Transfiguration classroom, "it was a nice gesture, really, and Gareth and Trev are very funny and sweet, but Veri and I can look after ourselves."

"Watch yourself!" exclaimed James suddenly, roping an arm around Lily. Next moment, Lily found herself flat against the Head Boy's chest as she heard something whistle past behind her. On closer inspection, this thing turned out to be some sort of long wooden dart that had impaled itself into the notice board next to Lily.

"Hm, arrows," James commented, gripping the red-tipped dart and yanking it out of the cork board, "they've never done that one before."

"It's . . . fine!" Lily said, her voice shaky and disconnected. "I'm quite used to people trying to kill me by now."

She didn't tell him, but what she wasn't used to was being so close to James at such short notice. She knew she and James were supposed to be friends now, but over the past month, some of the things she had been feeling towards him definitely did not come under the category of feelings you would have towards a friend.

"Well," James said, loosening his arm around her shoulders so she could step back a little, "that's good, I suppose. Still, tomorrow's the match, so this is their last chance to put us out of action. I've asked all the rest of the team to get straight back to the Gryffindor Tower after their last lesson."

"Asked or commanded?" Lily asked, amused.

"All right, commanded, but . . . politely," James said trying not to smile.

"I see."

"Anyway, I think it would be good if you came back to the Heads Dorm after Charms, and stayed there for the evening, just so the dirty cheating Slytherins don't have any opportunity to corrupt you before tomorrow . . . please?"

"Is this your idea of commanding?" Lily asked, smirking, as the line of students began to move into the classroom, "because, honestly, you're not very good at it."

"No, that's the sort of thing I leave to the Head Girl," reply James, tilting his head down so he could peer at her funnily over his glasses.

"All right, Potter, your strength of persuasion has convinced me. I shall retire early to the Dorm in order to evade those dirty cheating Slytherins."

"You're an example to the team," James told her, putting a hand on her shoulder before going off to sit in his usual place next to Sirius.

When Lily had sat herself next to Verity, her best friend leaned over while Professor McGonagall was passing out stems of orchids and poked Lily.

"What's this?" she whispered, "Was that playful banter I heard you exchanging with James a few moments ago? I would have never thought it."

"Oh, stop being such a insufferable gossip," Lily told her, but Verity noticed she was smiling. "We were only agreeing that it would be sensible to retreat to the Dorm after Charms to avoid being mobbed."

Verity made a soundless gasp.

"A date!" she exclaimed gleefully, watching Lily's eyes widen.

"For the love of wands, Verity! It is not a date!"

"Lily, that is complete bollocks, you and James made a profound agreement to meet in a certain place at a certain time. If that's not a date then I'll say Snape has washed his hair in the past week."

They had to stop talking then because McGonagall had started giving them the evils.

* * *

"I don't expect you to do any work this weekend," Professor Flitwick said kindly, "I am aware there's a match on."

This got quite a rowdy cheer from the seventh years as everyone packed up their things and made their way to the door. Sirius was the first to turn the handle.

"_Holy Horklumps_," he exclaimed, upon opening the door.

Coming up behind him, James reflected that he might have been critically mistaken when he assumed getting back to the Heads Dorm from the Charms corridor was going to be a stroll in the park. Outside, in the corridor, was the largest amount of people James had ever seen crammed into a three by five metre space of corridor. At a glance, James summed up that about half of them were Slytherins with intention of doing his teammates harm, and the other half were either Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws or staff with intention of stopping the previous intention. On sight of James and Lily, it seemed all of them started shouting and Sirius (very sensibly, James thought) had to shut the door again with a slam.

"Merlin alive!" exclaimed Verity.

"What was that you said about not getting lynch-mobbed?" Lily asked James nervously.

"Come on! Lesson's over!" someone shouted behind them.

"Yeah, what's the hold up?"

Remus turned round and gave the perpetrator his very worst look.

"The 'hold up', as you put it, is that if any of us step outside this classroom into the rabble on the other side of that door, someone's going to get their nose broken."

Verity smirked at the vaguely terrified look on the Ravenclaw's face.

"Well, we're going to have to make a break for it some time or other," James said reasonable. "Listen, we'll all make for the Heads Dorms, that's closer than the Gryffindor Tower, isn't it?"

"Agreed," nodded Sirius, "right, wands out."

As Lily pulled out her ten and a quarter inch willow, Sirius put a hand on the door handle for the second time. Already more than a little nervous, Lily's heart sparked when she felt James grasp her left hand.

The shouting started up again as soon the door was opened. At the sight of Lily, Verity and the Marauders all with their wands out, the mob seemed to draw back a little, but before anyone knew what was happening, curses had been fired into the air and chaos reigned.

Lily and James busied themselves with bending right over and bowling through the crowd as fast as they could. Above all the incomprehensible noise, James heard some of the things people were shouting.

"Avery! I told you to stun them the first chance you got!"

"Look! That one there looks shifty enough! Get between him and the Head Girl!"

"Mr Potter! Would _you_ care to comment on your team's chances in tomorrow's match!"

"Miss Evans! What weaknesses would you say you still have after a year of playing that we- I mean, the Slytherins could potentially exploit?"

"Hey! What happened? Where'd they vanish off to?"

Slowly, all of the Gryffindors emerged on the other side of the crowd relatively unscathed. Standing up straight, Lily, Verity and the Marauders glanced back at the mob. Just as someone at the back of the group turned round to spot them, James tugged hard on Lily's hand and shouted, "_Run!_"

Lily let out a small squeal and started laughing as they broke into a run. Oddly, with James holding her hand, nothing seemed quite as scary to her anymore. It could even be said that that mad dash away from the crowd of people at the end of the corridor could have been one of the most fun moments of her life. Let's face it, when you were running for your life away from around five hundred people all in a bad state of crowd hysteria--well, she couldn't help but see the funny side, but only so long as James was holding her hand.

"Bloody Hell!" cried Sirius through a grin as their group rounded a corner, and Verity threw a quick glance behind herself. The mob was falling back a little, and it seemed as though many of them were beginning to decide that it wasn't worth a high-speed chase through the halls of Hogwarts.

Puffing and panting, the Gryffindors arrived at a stop in front of the double doors of the Heads Dorm in a very disorganised manner (Peter even fell over). Someone said the password and the lot of them collapsed through the doors, on the somewhat giggly side.

"My word, that was fun!" Sirius said to no one in particular.

"Never again!" replied Remus, but he was smiling.

"Aw," sighed Verity stretching her arms up and falling backwards onto the sofa.

"Oi, are your hands glued together or something?" Sirius asked James and Lily craftily.

James looked down at the hand which was still clasped around Lily's. They both let go rather quickly and Sirius grinned before turning to Verity.

"Budge up, you lump," he said pushing at her legs so he could sit down.

"Merlin, I could do with some food," remarked Peter.

"Seconded," James said, raising his hand, and all the room's occupants followed the trend.

James's curfew was therefore suspended temporarily whilst Lily and Verity made a brief trip to the kitchens and the Marauders made a brief trip to . . . somewhere, they wouldn't say where. When Lily and Verity had staggered back up to the Dorm with huge bags of food that the house elves had insisted on giving them, they found the Marauders sat downstairs around three or four large crates with 'BUTTERBEER' stamped on the side.

"Good grief," Lily exclaimed, dropping her bags on the coffee table for Peter to root through.

"I'll say," agreed Verity. "Were you thinking of having a party by any chance?"

"Nothing wrong with a bit of light refreshment," Sirius said defensively, before cracking the crates open with his wand.

* * *

Much to Lily's surprise, the evening went by faster than she thought it would. She didn't even have to go upstairs to get a book or anything, quickly discovering that the fours boys and one girl with her were hugely entertaining when gathered in one room along with food and Butterbeer.

"I don't know what went wrong," Sirius was saying, "but when you transfigure a primrose into a parrot, I'm sure they're not supposed to go that colour. Anyway, being the well-mannered gentleman that I am, I offered to help the poor girl with her practical Transfiguration homework and then one thing led to another and then . . . Oi, have we run out of Butterbeer?"

"There's another crate somewhere," Lily said, looking around. By now their abode was rather a tip with food packaging everywhere, bottles scattered about at the feet of sofas and on the coffee table, cutlery strewn about the place and everyone stretch out leisurely on every sofa or armchair space that could be found.

"Do you reckon we should clear up?" asked Peter.

"No!" everyone shouted back.

"I'm sorry, but did you lot _see_ Rita Skeeter just now in Charms?" asked Verity excitedly.

"Was that her with the scarf around her head?" James asked with a grin. "And the sunglasses?"

"Yep!" Verity said through her giggles. "I had to stuff my fist in my mouth when Flitwick was taking the register and she had to gingerly put her hand up when he called her name. Obviously she wants to keep a bit of a low key these days."

"Brilliant," remarked Remus.

Soon enough, the excessive food and mildly alcoholic beverage took its toll on the Gryffindors. One by one, they made themselves more comfortable on whatever sofa of armchair they were on as their eyelids submitted to gravity.

Lily looked around sleepily to see Sirius sprawled out sideways on the armchair, head on one arm, knees draped over the other. Peter was sitting on the same sofa as Remus and Verity, clutching a cushion to his head. Verity had tipped over sideways to lean her head on Remus's lap and the boy had one hand on her shoulder and the other supporting his head.

"Lightweights," James murmured from beside Lily. "Three bottles of Butterbeer and five sandwiches each and they're gone."

"Pathetic," Lily agreed. She pulled her feet up onto the coffee table next to James's, being careful not to knock over any bottles.

"Having said that, I might just drop off here and now," James said in a low voice.

"Yeah, Merlin, all those stairs to climb up," Lily sympathised, then she leaned over onto James's shoulder, closing her eyes. "It's really not worth it."

"I had fun tonight," said James, after a while.

"Me too," Lily said, half thoughtfully. "They're a rum lot, your mates, aren't they?"

"You're damn right they are. They like you a lot, you know."

"Do they? Sod knows why."

"Yeah, you're right . . . I'm joking! Joking!"

Lily put down the cushion she was about to hit him with and settled back down onto his shoulder.

"No, really, they _do_ like you, possibly because you're one of the few girls in this school who hasn't fallen for our charms, and by charms, I mean popularity, fame, money and general empty hype."

"How . . . sensible of me," Lily said a little nervously, when she thought about how she may well have fallen for charms entirely different than those mentioned. "But I don't know that the hype is as empty as you say. You're not so bad yourself, you know, Potter."

"Hm. Why, thank you," James replied, putting a dramatic hand to his chest and yawning.

"I think . . ." Lily said, "I think ever since the beginning of this year, every day I'm finding out more and more things I like about you. I like how you don't take yourself seriously anymore. I like how you have such a clear sense of what's right and wrong. I especially admire how after all those years of my constant abuse, you still wanted to be my friend.

"And you know, mostly I'm really glad about this whole 'friends' lark we've got now. I suppose the only thing that's wrong with it is that now that we're friends, you're not allowed to ask me out anymore. I think if you did, I'd probably say yes, you know. I mean, it's sort of ironic; the only time you're socially prevented from making a move on me is when I'm pretty sure I've fallen in love with you . . ."

It was a moment later when Lily realised what she had just said. Oh, Merlin, what had she done now? What had her sleepy brain let her admit? Fraught with nauseous anxiety she waited for James to say something.

. . . And waited, and waited.

Slowly turning her head to look at him, she discovered that James's head had flopped back onto the top of the sofa cushions, his mouth agape. As Lily watched, he made only the response of a light snore from the back of his nose.

Lily sighed wryly. _Typical_, she thought. The first time she declares love for anybody, and the object of her affection falls asleep during. Obviously, this was not a good sign.

She shrugged, closing her eyes and leaning back down on James's shoulder. Oh, well. If at first you don't succeed . . . it was probably for the best anyway.

* * *

**a/n** Arggghhh! Tomorrow I go back to school and I still haven't finished the fic! There is now less than a month before my GCSEs! What am I going to do? spazpanic

Thank you to everyone who came to the SkeeterBeater party! It was fantastic success, I got many amusing entries from the following lovely people:

Anne-Janet (fellow organizer who bestowed her torn knee onto Rita, ad turned the whole school against her)

Lady of Masbolle (who wrote about shredders and tea parties)

Selina Zambini (who took out her anger simply, ouch)

wwc other guy (subtle monitoring, snigger)

HarryluvsMoaningMyrtle (who abandoned Rita in Muggle London without magic)

Frighteningly Obsessed (who had Rita kiss Snape. Giving her a taste of her own medicine, I see what you got going on there)

The ORIGINAL Meathead (winner)

Sam, the winner, wrote me about 1,600 words in which he carried on from chapter 13, made Rita extremely jealous, cursed her into pink fur _and_ got Lily and James together. (Which, as many people will point out, is more than I can say for myself.) Yeah, so, well done. I had a good old laugh at everyone's circumstances that people wrote and I think we should do it again some time.

Remember, I love anyone who writes me stuff, be it stuff I request or just some random one shot. I think we should encourage the culture of presents among the fanfiction community. Write people one shots, it's a very nice way to show you care. winks

**FrighteninglyObsessed**: Thank you very much for your entry. It made me cringe with the grossness of kissing Snape all over again. Don't worry, it's nearly the end of the fic, so I suppose I'll have to get Lily and James together soon, won't I?

**Tsusetsu**: I don't really like putting effort into school work, but if I don't, my head of year will be coming after me, asking if everything's alright at home, or if I'm getting bullied or anything. She's such a pain. Cheers for the review!

**siriusforeva**: Yes, almost, sadly, not. Never fear! They're bound to figure it out soon.

**shortywithbrains**: Haha, I can just imagine that sausage. Did I really dumb down Sirius in other chapters? Because in canon, he's really clever!

**Mr. Money**: Yo. Sadly the party is over, but feel free to write me something. I'd love it if you did.

**everblue3**: I have to read your fic. Please direct me to it. Anyone who can write 1000 words an hour must be talented, that's all I'll say.

**Miss Lady Marauder**: Thanks for the review, I'm very glad you like the chapter. I'd be affronted if some accused me of not going to the bathroom with them!

**soccerchic1989**: What's this about a guy you like? Tell all! Sorry, I'm such a hopeless romantic (or a nosey parker, whichever you prefer.)

**GlassBroomstick**: Buying a notebook would be a good idea. Actually I have many notebooks that I could use, but I'm just SO disorganised I always leave them places and then find them three weeks later. What a lost cause I am, thank you so much for leaving me a note!

**HarryluvsMoaningMyrtle**: I'm surprise you didn't just lave Rita in the middle of the street with no house or anything! Oh well, I suppose there must be some good in her. Excellent idea, though. You should wite a fic about how well she'd fair.

**Sarcasm is my life (amy-mwpp**: Thank you so much!

**The ORIGINAL Meathead**: Loved your story, very funny. You keep having ideas for one shots! That sleepover thing was genius! Write about that next! Sirius and Remus thank you very much for the luck and will keep it in mind when they write their speech. Be glad in the knowledge that you have contributed in some way to the Potters' wedding.

**Monica**: Hi! Thanks for the review! You like long stories, do ya? Well, I have a lot of ideas, but sadly, not enough time, it's tragic. See you next chappy!

**drumer girl**: Cheers!

**Flame Of Desire**: See you next Chapter!

**hazeled eye marauder**: Joins in jumping

**Victoria87**: Spring Break ends tomorrow; I got almost three weeks off, which I think is very respectable, especially since I needed to revise. You're right, I did miss out a word, there should be a 'she' in there somewhere. I would go and change it, but I'm lazy. Snogging does have two 'g's. Nevermind, it's not like it's a posh word, like 'stichomythia' or 'hypothalamic', which you HAVE to spell right, it's the law.

**limbo-gal**: Sorry about the lateness of the chappy. I'm rubbish.

**Red-Emerald**: I like writing the fluffy I-like-you stages, they're so fun. Thank you very much for you comments. They bring joy to my heart.

**snazzysnez**: Thank you very much, see you next chapter!

**wwc other guy**: Well done, mate. Nice story-telling. I'm glad Rita got what was coming to her.

**Selena Zambini**: I'll track down that story when I get the chance. Thanks for telling me.

**The Big Dance**: Oh gosh, did you use that 'denial' phrase on purpose? Cringe I'm so thick. Anyway, yes, Lil and James are getting along nicely, thank you very much!

**Sushinase**: No problem! NB, means something in Latin, and I am not Latin man, so I don't know what it means. Basically, it's just a note that authors want the readers to pay attention. When people say it outside of literature, it just means 'by the way.' Oh, and a snap dragon is one of those flowers that eats insects, you know?

**Tracey**: Please thank Frodo for her compliments, and tell she has very good taste in bots of this fic.

**milky way bar**: I suppose we should give up hope then. How sad. Nevermind. There's hope for boy-kind yet.

**geckaclark**: Thanks for your note, I'm glad you liked those bits, they were fun to write!

**notyouraverageblond**: Sadly, I've never seen Teen Titans, as I don't have cable (my parents detest that man who owns Sky.) But thank you very much for the review!

**mika-mitch**: Aw, sorry your break was less than magic. I'm also sorry that there are about two chapters left. Well, the story had to end some time!

**MissMrprk**:D

**kris-kros**: Oh, God, I don't think I'd ever carry this fic on until Lily and James's death. Don't worry, fic's nearly over so they have to get together soon (hopefully).

**LilMizHeartbreaker**: I did notice that. I think it's just because 'Lily-and-James' sounds better than 'James-and-Lily', not because Lily's more important than James. My parents' names always go a certain order, just because it sounds better. Shrug. Anyway, thanks for reviewing!

**helloshanti2**: Ah! Why is there a two on the end of your name? Is there another helloshanti? Are you the same shanti? I'm so confused.

**SiriusProtege**: Sadly, I don't think Rita will make another appearance because now I have to get down to some good ol' nourishing fluff. I think YOU should put her in a fic. Go on, I dare you.

**switchfootlover**: Thanks a lot!

**JamieBell**: It's good that I make people laugh. It brings joy to my heart (and a song to my lips :D). Anyway, I very much enjoyed the latest chappy of Letters and Care Packages, as you can probably tell from the review I left. Talk to you soon!

**newsieduckling**: Cheers, me dear.

**Denierure**: Thank you very much, but please don't kill Rita.

**charbar**: Hellohello. Have you had a good holiday? I hope you have. I always go that sort of thing with sweet packet, what's the use of letting all that delicious sugar go to waste? See you tomorrow!

**kiwislushie**: Hahaha! But then all the bunnies would be all weird and hairless!

**Lady of Masbolle**: It sounds like you live in the ghetto. :D

**Anne-Janet**: Well done on your input, I'm glad you like that little séance between Lily and Verity. See you next chapter!

**Naidel**: So Verity and Remus are together, now are you happy? And Sirius was never celibate! Obviously you were getting the wrong signals from him!

**Thunder's Shadow**: Sorry, didn't update soon. It's official, I am rubbish.

**Next Chappy:**

_Key Words to Get Sirius to do Whatever You Want_, lesson 2

How will the Gryffindors hack it in the match against those dirty cheating Slytherins?

What happens when you're frlying along innocently and someone' grabs the tail of your broom?

Luff, your back-to-school-tomorrow author


	16. An 'O' in Charms

**16 – An 'O' in Charms**

On waking up and opening his eyes, James blinked rapidly in the harsh sunlight that was filtering through the high window of the Heads Dorms.

_Lily,_ he thought first, looking down at the girl whose limbs were tangled up with several of his own. _Saturday, _he thought second, recalling that yesterday had been Friday. _Mess,_ he thought third, squinting at his surroundings in the early morning light.

His friends looked much the same as they had the night before, except for Sirius, who had somehow ended up upside down with his feet draped over the back of the armchair and his head on the foot rest.

For the oddest reason, James's mind jumped back to the night before when he and Lily had been the only ones left awake. He had the sneakiest feeling that he might have fallen asleep while she had been talking, which he cringed about.

Nevermind, it had afforded him a lovely dream in which he seemed to half remember Lily telling him that she'd fallen in love with him, which had been a nice consolation for not hearing all that she had said last night.

Obviously, it was very nice sitting here with Lily. It was very nice being so close to her (James reflected that their persons were as close as they could be without actually being the same person). It was very nice when Lily was being nice to him, when she smiled at him and laughed at his jokes.

All in all, if this was what being Lily's friend encompassed, he reckoned her could just about hack it.

If only he could kiss her.

Across the room, Verity woke up with a start. Blinking, she reluctantly pushed herself off Remus's lap and sighed.

"Oh, good grief," she said in a low voice. "It's today, isn't it?"

"What is?" James asked quietly. Then he took a sharp breath and swore under it. Verity gave him the most incredulous look in the history of incredulous looks.

"You _forgot!_" she hissed at him, half outraged, half amused.

"I didn't _forget!_" James argued, "I just . . . didn't remember."

"You are the captain of Gryffindor Quidditch! What _else_ would you be thinking about on the morning of our _last match_ against those _dirty, cheating Slytherins?_"

The Head Girl shifted in James's arms, moving her head further across his chest slightly. The edges of Verity's lips twitched.

"Nevermind, forget I asked," she said.

"What time is it?" asked Remus from beside her, who had woken up as a result of the noise.

"Er . . . ten o'clock," Verity said, glancing at her watch and looking at James worriedly.

"What?" demanded the Head Boy. "Oh, sod it! Only an hour till the match! Get Padfoot up, would you? We've got to go soon!"

While Verity and Remus took on the momentous task of waking up Sirius, James leaned forward and patted Lily gently on the arm.

"Lilo . . . Lilo . . ." he called softly. Lily murmured something and shifted her arms to somewhere around his neck. James grimly ignored the strengthening wish to forfeit the match and stay exactly where he was. "Lilo, wake up, we need to be off to the pitch soon."

The redhead opened her eyes and then screwed them closed again in protest, groaning in her sleepiness.

"Saturday already?" she complained. On the other side of the room, Remus and Verity had resorted to lifting the armchair between them and throwing a sound asleep Sirius onto the carpet.

"Not only Saturday, but ten o'clock," James told Lily, "we need to go very, very soon."

Lily sat up straight on the sofa and stretched her shoulders back. What she did not want to think about at that moment, was the fact that she had told James she loved him the night before.

. . . But was that thought really so awful? Or was the thought that James had not heard her telling him that she loved him what her mind was avoiding?

A moment later, Lily decided the whole business was too much to think about five seconds after having woken up. What she would prefer to think about, she decided, was how lovely it had been to sleep so close to James. Mind you, _that_ was dangerous water as well.

James had stood up and ambled over to where Remus and Verity were pondering the problem of Sirius not waking up. He was lying forwards on the floor with his cheek against the carpet, his arms by his sides and his knees curled up under his chest.

"Padfoot," James called, nudging his friend with his foot, "come on! Time to get up!" Nothing happened.

"Oi, Sirius!" yelled Verity. "Breakfast!" The boy on the floor shifted onto his side and murmured something that sounded something like 'Yes, coming, Francesca!'

James and Remus raised an eyebrow each, when Lily called from the sofa, "Sirius! Quidditch!"

Like magic, Sirius turned onto his back with his eyes open, blinking.

"What?" he asked quickly. "Right! Quidditch, last match for the cup, dirty, cheating Slytherins! Gimme a hand up, will you?"

* * *

Ideally, James would have liked his team to enter the Great Hall looking professional, intimidating and meaning business. It was regrettable then that he, Sirius, Lily and Verity looked half asleep and rather slow. Verity's hair was un-brushed, Sirius's still damp from the shower, Lily released three consecutive yawns and he imagined that he himself was not exactly putting forward an image of steely terror when his glasses were slightly askew and there were still flecks of toothpaste on his hands.

Once they had sat down, Remus, who was marginally more alert than the rest, set about distributing food from various sources around them. James looked the Gryffindor table up and down and spotted the other members of his team, who thankfully looked decent enough to play a game of Quidditch. Getting back to more important matters, he picked up a slice of toast and absentmindedly pushed a bowl of fruit salad towards Lily.

"I'm really nervous," Peter said, through a mouthful of porridge.

"Nervous? What have _you_ got to be nervous about?" asked Sirius.

"I'm not awake enough to be nervous," said Verity pouring coffee into her goblet. Not really listening or paying attention, James spooned some steaming scrambled eggs onto Lily's plate.

"Look at them," Sirius said disgruntled, staring that the Slytherin table. "I bet they've come up with thousands of illegal schemes to wrong foot us."

"Oh, stop being so bloody paranoid," Lily replied, as James unconsciously put a muffin onto a plate and placed it next to her. "I'm sure Mr Richards will foul them or send them off or whatever."

"You can't send people off in Quidditch," Verity corrected her.

"Crying shame, I'd say," Remus commented.

"Oi! You!" said Lily, turning to James. "Instead of drowning me in food, can you eat some yourself, please?" Verity sniggered and muttered something that sounded like '_Very fast metabolism_.'

James glanced at the many bowls and plates of breakfast that surrounded Lily as though he was seeing them for the first time.

"Sorry," he said in surprise, "force of habit." Lily let out a breath of laughter and offered him a muffin. "Half and half?" asked James.

"Deal."

"Shouldn't you be going?" asked Remus idly, and after looking at his watch, James jumped off his chair so quickly it seemed as though he had been trying to sit on a sea urchin. Ever resourceful, the Head Boy stood on his chair and shouted down the Gryffindor table.

"Quidditch team! Changing room! Now! Remember broomsticks! And Quidditch uniform! No excuses! Matter of life and death!"

Once he had climbed down, his friends were already getting up and sneakily trying to smuggle any breakfast that wouldn't leak into their pockets.

"Good way to strike terror into those Slytherins' hearts, Prongs," Sirius remarked, clapping his best friend on the back.

* * *

While she was changing, the anxiousness that had been absent from breakfast was beginning to sneak up on Lily bit by bit. It made her feel like all the muscles in her body were thin and stretching and her stomach began to feel decidedly dodgy. Taking a deep breath and clasping her fingers together, she thought that this was probably going to be the most important day in her life so far. The onslaught from the Slytherins before the match was going to be nothing compared to the wrath of Gryffindors everywhere if she didn't catch the Snitch.

More importantly, what would James say if she didn't catch the Snitch?

It wasn't as if he had forced her to join the team, (he had asked, plenty times, but she had joined of her own accord.) It wasn't even as if she was doing him a sort of favour any more. She liked flying, she adored being on the team and James was trusting her to win them the game (stupid bugger.)

Lining up just inside the entrance to the changing rooms was even worse. Each member of the team was wrapped up in their own last minute preparations. Keith was hurriedly clipping the twigs on the end of his broomstick, Sirius was busy tapping his Beater's bat thirty times on the outside of his legs, (a peculiar habit Lily had never found out the reason for) and Ainsley was quietly promising anyone who'd listen that if they won the match, he'd gladly shave off all his dreadlocks for sponsor money and give it all to charity.

Behind the Head Girl, Verity lightly knocked the handle of her _Eagle_ against Lily's _Nimbus_.

"Oi," she said quietly as Lily turned around. "Give us a hug then."

Lily pounced on her best friend and squeezed her round the neck for all she was worth.

"Ooh, those Slytherins are going to regret you ever joining the team," Verity said in Lily's ear.

"Yeah, listen, Veri," Lily replied, "this moment would be perfect if your broomstick wasn't digging me in the back of the head." Verity hurriedly let go.

"Sorry!" she said, panicked. "Sorry! Oh, Merlin! Are you all right? Are you hurt? If I've done any damage, James will bloody kill me!"

"It's all right!" Lily insisted, "I'm fine!"

"Good, it wouldn't do for us both to be out of action, would it?"

"Yeah right," Lily flapped at her dismissively, "James wouldn't kill you."

"You're probably right," nodded Verity casting a look back to where James was doing last minute spot checks on all his players. "As the best friend of his future wife, I s'pose he'll have keep a clean slate with me."

"_What?_" demanded Lily, but James was already shouting for the team to get ready and line up. Verity only winked at her best friend and took her place next to Simon. Lily rolled her eyes as James almost crashed into her in his hurry to get to the front, muttering.

"Sunny, light wind, south-easterly, minimal cloud cover, no mud . . ."

He stopped quite abruptly and glanced down at his left hand. Lily had switched the hand that was holding her _Nimbus_ and taken hold of James's. Raising his eyes to look at her face, James smiled as Lily stared forwards defiantly as though there was nothing at all out of the ordinary with what she was doing, although James knew that she knew it was the best thing she could have done at that moment. James squeezed her hand tightly and Lily looked at him for a moment, tossing him a shy sort of half smile.

Then the whole team jumped when Remus's voice sounded throughout the pitch.

"Students, staff, witch, wizards, etc! Today is Saturday and welcome to today's match!"

James thought there might have been a few people of the outskirts of Brazil that wouldn't have heard the tremendous roar of crowd appreciation released from the stands.

"A notice for your own personal safety," Remus continued, "please keep all arms, legs, tails and other extremities inside the confines of the stands at all times. No one wants a repeat of the Hufflepuff vs. Ravenclaw 'Bludger-ahoy' incident, least of all Mr Filch, who (it says here) had to clean the blood off the Hufflepuff banners. Thank you." There was a sound of flapping paper. "Moving _on_, please welcome to the pitch: the Gryffindors!"

James led the way across the grass as the team's names were read out.

"Playing today are the same people as always: Black, Hooch, Tall, Barker, Kipping, Evans and Potter! Over half of this team will actually be leaving this year, so let's give them a fond farewell, eh?"

Possibly because it was louder than usual, for the first time, Lily fully heard the noise coming at the Gryffindors from all sides. Perhaps she had been too nervous to listen in their matches against Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, but as Remus fell quiet, she really appreciated how many people were screaming as loud as they could to spur James and his team mates on.

Crickey, this meant an awful lot to a lot of people.

James nudged her in the side and grinned. "Wave then," he told her cheekily, and Lily pulled a nervous face as she raised a hand timidly. If possible, the noise in the pitch heightened.

"Whoever gets the captain's job next year will be hard pressed to find talent that can follow this up, that's all I'll say," Remus told the crowd. "And now please welcome their opponents, the Slytherins!"

Cheering to rival that of before greeted the entrance of the team in green. As the seven Slytherin boys lined up across from the Gryffindors Lily watched her opponent, Darius Zabini, Slytherin Seeker and captain. He stared back at her with a faintly amused expression that said all too clearly 'You? _You?_ Against _me?_ You've got to be _joking!_' Lily narrowed her eyes. Some of the nerves that had been growing inside her were cut back by her indignation like creepers being hacked off an old brick building.

"Playing today are McCarthy, Holloway, Snape, Moore, Aitkin, Cowell and Zabini! This match has been long awaited since its postponement last October," Remus informed the crowd. "Now the Slytherin team seem to be all fit an healthy, so let's get cracking!"

Mr Richard's prosthetic leg made hollow thumping noises on the dry ground as he limped down between the lines of players.

"I'm watching you," he warned glancing left and right at each of the team members, "I'm watching you like a doxy watches a juicy butterfly. Any funny business from any of you and there'll be trouble."

"Psh, what's he gonna do?" Lily heard one Slytherin beater mutter to his companion, "send us off?" This sent the both of them into a round of sniggering that lasted until Mr Richard turned around to face them. Lily's weeds of anxiousness were sliced back a few more inches by the blade of her anger.

"Shake hands, please," the referee directed James and Darius. Keeping eye contact, James reached his hand forward but found nothing. Zabini stood there staring at him with that annoying smirk on his face that said 'This is all a huge waste of my valuable time.'

James raised his eyebrows and turned his palm upwards, shaking his head slightly. _This is ridiculous_, he thought. Laughs and jeers came from the Slytherin end of the stands along with exclamations of indignation from almost everyone else.

"Oh, bloody hell," Remus's voice said, "just shake the man's hand, Zabini, then we could get down to some actual Quidditch?" There was cough from behind him and Remus turned around to glance at Professor McGonagall, who had resolved to supervise the commentating as soon as she had caught wind of Remus being offered money from one of the sides.

Zabini emitted a light breath of laughter before grasping James's hand and meeting the fiery gaze from the Head Boy's hazel eyes.

"Mount your brooms!"

Lily looked up the thin wisps of cloud that flecked across the thin blue sky.

"That was the whistle!" shouted Remus and suddenly Lily's feet left the ground and flew all the way up to forty feet above the grass. Verity was busy making a swipe for the Quaffle but it was snatched away by Moore who had reached it first by at least a foot. James quickly calculated that it wouldn't have been possible without Moore leaving the ground before Verity, i.e. _before_ the whistle.

"Hey!" the captain shouted, and he and Verity turned furiously towards the referee. Five seconds later, however, the whistle blew again because Slytherin had scored and gained ten points.

"What was that about?" shouted Keith, "He had a false start, didn't he?"

"Nevermind!" James shouted back forcefully. "Even if they cheat, don't stop for anything unless the whistle goes! Just carry on, all right? We can't afford to loose any more points like that!"

Verity huffed up into her fringe but saluted none the less, dashing off to catch the rebound Quaffle from Ainsley.

"Gryffindor in possession after a shaky start," Remus told the crowd, "It's Hooch gaining yards down the pitch, pass to Kipping! Now to Potter!"

James smiled as he caught the Quaffle. Marvellous move, that one. With Slytherin Chasers coming at Simon and James too far away to pass to, Verity had thrown the Quaffle in just the right place for Keith to smack with the palm of his hand in James's direction.

The Slytherin Chasers tried to regroup as James sped away behind them towards the goal.

"Potter shoots! Goal! The scores are even at ten all! Slytherin in possession!"

James looked around and took half a second's glance at Lily and his smile widened into a grin. She seemed to be doing very well indeed. He thought back to what she had looked like in her very first match, obviously terrified, hovering above the game, shivering with her legs curled up under her broomstick. She had been reluctant to take her hand of the handle and made little jerky movements in various directions before deciding to fly and although James had been impressed because it was her first match, it was nothing to how proud he was now.

Lily had no trace of nerves about her whatsoever. Now and then she was hanging above the game, scouring the pitch, other times she was zipping in and out between players and balls, always streamlined and alert. If James hadn't been throwing gobstoppers at her and hankering to get her to join the team that very same year, he was sure he'd think she'd been on the team for at least three years.

"There's a pass to Aitkin! Slytherin possession stretches down the pitch, Bludger approaches, Aitkin passes to McCarthy, _saved_ by Tall who throws it back to Kipping!"

Simon was making very good progress down the pitch, very good progress indeed when one of the Slytherin Chasers, who was relatively near him, dodged a Bludger. The black ball went whizzing off behind Moore, straight into Simon's side.

There was a resounding '_Ooouugh_' from the crowd as Simon was knocked sideways. Thankfully, he was only about twenty five feet off the ground, any more than that and he wouldn't have been able to get up shakily after his fall.

"Time out's called as Madam Pomfrey and a couple of volunteers make their way onto the pitch," Remus said. "Will Gryffindor be one player down?"

"Cor, blimey," Simon exclaimed as James landed near him, "those things hurt like the buggery."

"Are you all . . ." James began to say.

"Get out of the way," the school nurse commanded, pushing the Head Boy to the side, and for such a young witch, shoving a six foot six bloke three yards to the left was something very commendable.

Crowding around to have a look Verity put an arm around Lily's shoulders and Lily bit her lip in a worried expression. Those things _did_ look like they hurt like the buggery.

After a quick visual once over in which Madam Pomfrey lifted up Simon's shirt (there were a few whistles from the crowd) to show a large bruise, she gave her diagnosis.

"Well, apart from the bruise, you've got three broken ribs," she told him. "If you go back on that pitch, I'll take it that you're stark raving and have you committed to St Mungo's immediately."

There was a disappointed sigh from the Gryffindor players. James turned towards the commentator's box and shook his head.

"It's one man down for Gryffindor!" Remus announced, and the disappointment or triumph was evident through the crowd.

"Sorry, mate," Sirius said to Simon clapping him on the shoulder.

"Ouch! Ouch!" exclaimed Simon, "Watch that side, Sirius, you moppet!"

"Have a good one," James said to his player as Simon limped off with help from a couple of Hufflepuffs who had come under Madam Pomfrey's direction for the match. He looked around and saw Lily watching something. Following her gaze, he spotted the Slytherins having a fervent discussion in a huddle down their end of the pitch.

"Why do they keep glancing at us?" Lily asked uneasily, crossing her arms and hunching her shoulders.

"Because they're all about intimidation," James said.

"Wankers," Keith added.

"Come on," James said to Lily, and soon, thirteen players and the ref were back in the air.

A funny thing happened to Lily as soon as she was about thirty feet up and rising. Instead of feeling increasingly nervous about those looks the Slytherins were giving her team, she found that she just felt angry. _How dare they?_ she thought. _How dare they try and intimidate us? We are so much better than them any day of the week!_

"The Quaffle is back in Gryffindor possession, and with only two Chasers, Hooch and Potter will have to work extra hard to come up to scratch. Hooch dodges a bludger thrown her way by Holloway, makes a pass, intercepted by McCarthy! Who drops the Quaffle at the threat of Bludger from Black!"

Sirius punched the air as James caught the Quaffle and sped away with it. He tossed it upwards to Verity above him, who curled it round Snape in the goals.

"Twenty, ten to the Gryffindors!" announced Remus as James and Verity crossed flying paths and clapped one of their hands together in celebration. "Possession taken by McCarthy, fourth year on the team this week when this time four years ago he was upgraded from a reserve when old Jake Farnborough got suspended for putting Zonko's Fizzing Gas Pellets in the school water system."

Maybe it was just Lily, but she was sure that ever since Simon had been carted off by the bandage brigade, the Slytherins were playing a much more aggressive game than before. Their Beaters hit the Bludgers with less aim and more power, their Chasers were resorting to anything to get a hold of the Quaffle and more than once Gryffindor found themselves not only dodging Bludgers, but _Slytherins_.

Apparently the musical theme from the last match had been carried on and adopted by those wearing green and silver in the crowd.

_Oh, Merlin,_ James thought, _anything to distract the players_. Sure enough, the ditty that the Slytherins came out with was both substandard and quite pointless.

_Oh, you Gryffindors,  
__You're rubbish, you're crap,  
__We're gonna beat your arses  
__Straight off the map!_

"After that short musical interlude . . ." began Remus but the Gryffindors weren't going to let that go without defending themselves.

_We're just all that better  
__Why can't you face the facts?  
__So stop your bloody cheating,  
__You stupid, effin' twats!_

It happened before anyone knew what was happening. Keith was flying towards the nearest Bludger, trying to get there before Cowell, the Slytherin Beater. Victorious, he cuffed the ball away from James towards Aitkin, but Cowell wasn't stopping. In fact, he zipped straight past Keith and brought up his Beater's bat in a great swing, missing the Gryffindor's head by inches.

There was a splintering sound in the pitch, and a good six inches off the front of Keith's broomstick spun away across the stands where it was claimed by a Gryffindor second year in the seventh row.

Lily watched in horror as Keith now had no control over his broomstick whatsoever. The broomstick itself seemed panicked, like a headless chicken and after a perilous moment or two of unsuccessfully trying to get to the ground, Keith was turned sideways and jerked off his _Cleansweep__ Three_, knocking into the nearby Slytherin goalpost and sliding down to the grass. Despite his attempts at escape, Keith was quickly taken under the care of Madam Pomfrey who pronounced his nose broken and his emotional welfare in shock.

On the pitch, all hell was breaking loose. Cowell was retaining that he was only aiming for the Bludger with his bat and that Keith had just gotten in the way.

"Don't even try it!" James hollered furiously, "if he hadn't have gotten _out_ of the way, you would have killed him!"

The captain had to be satisfied with a shot at the Slytherin goals and the force with which James hurled the Quaffle through the hoop actually made Snape _move out of the way_ of the shot.

"After that the score is now thirty ten," Remus told the crowd, "but Gryffindor is now two players short and if that doesn't affect their game, I'll eat this microphone."

Predictably, Remus did not have to eat his microphone because in the next ten minutes, Slytherin scored three times and Gryffindor only once, equalising the points at forty all. James began to despair and Lily searched all the harder for the Snitch.

Having a hard time beating alone, Sirius took it as a personal triumph when he intercepted a Bludger that was heading for Verity, who was nearing the Slytherin goals with the Quaffle.

"Hooch shoots! And finds a place for the Quaffle in the middle hoop!" The Gryffindor banners in the crowd waved enthusiastically, but their owners' cheers quickly turned to gasps as they watched what was happening to their Chaser. Victorious, Verity had taken both hands off her broom while she flew back towards the centre of the pitch. Suddenly, one of the opposing team's Chasers had made a grab for the tail of her broom and because Verity had no hands on her own handle, the broom stopped dead.

Sadly, the same could not be said for Verity. _She_ continued to move at fifty miles an hour, straight off the end of her broom and tumbling head first into the stands.

There then came a stream of uncharacteristic swearing from the commentator's box along with the furious sound of Professor McGonagall's voice in the background.

"Mr Lupin! Such language will not be tolerated at public school matches! Watch your mouth or you'll find yourself in detention for a week!"

"Sorry, Professor," came a mutter from the background, then Remus turned back to the microphone. "Move out of the way there! Let those people through!"

Lily watched anxiously as Madam Pomfrey and her volunteers fought their way through the crowd to where a Ravenclaw fifth year was helping Verity to stand up. It quickly became apparent that the Chaser was not about to be let back on the field by the way she limped on her left knee that was bent at a rather peculiar angle. Once she had gotten down from the stands she had a brief argument with the school nurse.

"I expressly forbid it! We need to get that knee looked at!"

"It's _Quidditch_ Played on _broomsticks! _What do I _need_ my leg for?"

It was a refusal from James to let her back onto his team that finally got her taken off the Hospital Wing though, and Lily's anger soared as she turned away and resumed her search. She now saw what they were trying to do. They were trying to pick the Gryffindors off one by one before she caught the Snitch or Gryffindor could get ahead by one hundred and fifty points.

"It's an hour into the game and already Gryffindor are two Chasers and one Beater down, trailing behind in the score with sixty points to Slytherin's one hundred and fifty, who would have thought their luck would turn so ugly after two spectacular wins earlier this year?"

At around this time, James had started wishing for anyone, anything to save the match or alternatively the lives of his remaining players. The Slytherins were playing such an aggressive game that he was beginning to think he, Ainsley, Sirius and Lily were playing to stay alive, not just to win the game. He was only thankful that Lily had managed to avoid being fouled. If his team lost their Seeker . . .

If he lost Lily . . .

Next to go was Ainsley. Sirius suddenly realised that he couldn't see any Bludgers. Lily spotted them, bizarrely being restrained in the arms of both the Slytherin Beaters, who were struggling to keep a hold of them.

"Watch out, Ainsley!" Lily screamed, but Ainsley only turned around to see the Beaters letting go of the Bludgers and batting them hard towards him.

He had to be commended really, James thought. He _did_ manage to dodge the first bludger very skilfully. Unfortunately, the second one snapped his broomstick in half, and sent him straight down onto the grass below.

By now, James was beginning to think that he must have done something terrible in his past life, like cheated thousands of witches and wizards out of their savings as chief executive of Gringotts or dumped thousands of tonnes of sewage into Mermish waters. This was the only explanation for why all the players on his team were being violently thrown out of action and Gryffindor was down by one hundred and thirty points. Perhaps he had died as Grindlewald and come back as James Potter?

Now, as well as having to do the jobs of three Chasers, he had to stretch himself to do that of the Keeper as well. He rushed to save the Quaffle from going through the Gryffindor goals and surveyed the pitch. Three Chasers and the Keeper against him, advancing aggressively, looking as if they would gladly have Gryffindor with no Chasers at all. Resorting to unorthodox methods, James tossed the Quaffle lightly into the air and swung the handle of his _Hurricane 5_ up to met it. Cupping his hand above his eyes, James squinted at the arc that the Quaffle made as it sailed over all the Slytherin Chasers to the other end of the pitch. Snape only noticed the Quaffle whizzing towards him half a second before it fell through the middle hoop.

James hoped there was nothing in the rules that said he couldn't do that.

"After a quick flick through the _five, ten inch-thick_ volumes of the rules of Quidditch" Remus told the crowd, "Professor McGonagall has decided that the tactic you just witnessed has never been attempted and consequently, there is no rule preventing it. Score stands at eighty points to one hundred and fifty."

Sirius was laughing his head off.

"I bet you never saw that one coming, did you, Snivellus?" he hollered, spinning his Beater's bat between his fingers. He turned away and prepared to shoot off, in pursuit of a Bludger, but Snape had drifted up behind him. Raising the Quaffle above his head, the Slytherin brought it down onto the tail of Sirius's broomstick with such furious force that the broomstick tipped backwards and catapulted its owner clean off.

Now not only was the commentator swearing, but his supervisor was right there with him, snatching the pointed hat off her tight bun and flinging it down onto the floor in fury.

As Mr Richards awarded James five more fouls, the captain took deep breath after deep breath in a bid to stop himself maiming Snape. To distract himself from actions decent wizards would never approve of, he called a time out.

As he and Lily landed on the grass and ran towards each other, he could _sense_ the Slytherins down the other end of the pitch laughing at him.

Lily felt her heartstrings stretch painfully at the sight of the Head Boy. He was pale as new parchment and shaking slightly. After shifting from foot to foot, wondering what to do, Lily's arms darted round James's shoulders and she squeezed him for a moment. James squeezed her back.

"You all right?" Lily asked quietly, pulling back and swapping her broomstick from one hand to the other nervously.

James glanced to the side and took a deep breath.

"Look, Lilo," he said. "Honestly . . . I think we're pretty buggered. Right now I think we should just give it to them and hope for a rematch."

"What?" asked Lily, taking a small step forward. "But . . . but this is our last game! We've been practicing for this all year! We can't give up now! We can still win it!"

"Seriously Lily, as a captain who's been playing for the best part of six years, I'm telling you the truth; our chances are a million to one," James told her sincerely, shrugging in a hopeless way. "You know normally I'd be playing 'till we get beaten fair and square, but frankly, this game is as fair as a pixie against a troll and about as square as this Quaffle. Maybe I'd be able to put up with it if we didn't have five players in the Hospital Wing, but if kicking off again means you getting hurt, then . . . really, I'd rather forfeit. . . . Lilo?"

But Lily was not looking at him. Her face was turned towards him, but she was watching something very carefully out of the corner of her eye. Opening her mouth slightly, she reached forward and clasped James's arm.

"Don't look now," she said in a low voice, "but I see the Snitch."

"What?" asked James. "You're kidding! Are you sure?"

"More positive than an 'O' in Charms," Lily replied. For the slimmest moment, her emerald eyes flicked to his face. "Look, you said that you put me on the team because you believed I could do it. Well, right now, I believe I can do it. _Trust me_. Call a time in, and you and I will show those Slytherins that even with two players against seven cheating ones, we can boot their arses from here to there."

James hesitated. He looked at the amount of suppressed excitement on Lily's face, saw her little finger twitching around the body of her Nimbus. The way she was holding his arm told him that he and she were in it together. He had the feeling that it was they against everyone else. He was amazed how much that feeling meant to him.

He closed his eyes and released a breath.

"All right, I hereby certify myself officially insane . . . and call a time in."

"_Yes!_" Lily hissed. Then she jumped up and pecked him on the cheek.

James blinked.

"Hey!" Lily shouted to Mr Richards, "time in!"

The ref reflected for a moment that it was only the captain who could call a time in, but dismissed this regulation since everyone who _wasn't_ captain currently made up fifty per cent of the Gryffindor team.

"Ready to resume play!" he called, raising the whistle to his lips. Everyone remounted their broomsticks. Lily tried to watch the Snitch without looking directly at it.

"And the whistle signals play to continue!" announced Remus. "Gryffindor in possession, Potter to take five more fouls. There's Evans with a quick start off the field. Good Merlin, she's really going for it! Wow, look at her go! Zabini's tailing her, and . . . my word, _was that the Snitch_?"

Lily could feel the air current behind her as she cut through the sky, flying faster than she'd ever flown before. The little golden ball was humming high in the air near the Ravenclaw part of the stands. Upon her advance, Lily could have sworn she heard it emit a tiny squeal of terror before it darted off in the opposite direction to her.

There was a whoosh behind her, and she knew Zabini was close, trying to overtake her. She wasn't worried though, she was getting closer and closer and however much the tiny Snitch jerked this way and that in front of her, she was sure she was going to catch it. It seemed close enough to touch.

Every drop of adrenaline inside her spirit forced its way up her arm as she stretched out her fingers . . .

Lily felt herself jerk as her broomstick slowed down abruptly. The Snitch spun far out of reach as Lily's spine lashed forwards, as if she was on the Knight Bus and it had braked in a split second to let a hedgehog cross the road.

"**Hey**!" she screamed, twisting around to see none other than Darius Zabini holding onto the tail of her broomstick for dear life.

"_Without _a quick flick through the _five, ten inch-thick_ volumes of the rules of Quidditch, I can tell you all now: _that_ is against the rules!" Remus ranted heatedly.

Lily paid no attention. She paid no attention to the way thousands in the crowd were standing up in protest. She paid no attention to Mr Richards blowing his whistle like a steam engine going full throttle. She paid no attention to the Slytherin Seeker doing his best to stop her winning this watch.

_No one_ was going to stop her catching the Snitch, _no one_ was going to stop winning the match and above all else, _no one_ was going to stop her winning this match _for James_.

The only thing she noticed was that the Snitch was less than a metre away. With all the rushing in her head, there was absolutely no room at all for fear.

She only slammed her palms down on the handle, hoisted her feet up onto the broom, _stood up_ on her Nimbus One Thousand and _leapt clean off into thin air as she curled both hands round for the Snitch._

* * *

**a/n** Ouch. So, yes, in honour of this momentous cliffie, I have composed a short poem. Here it is:

_I am evil  
Evil I am  
Am I evil?  
Yes, I am._

Thank you. Now to business.

**everblue3**: It does make sense! Often I feel as though I need a central theme for many of my stories or else they end up completely rubbish and not worth more than three prawns to a vegetarian. I have NO TIME but when I do, I WILL read your stories, I will, I will!

**snazzysnez**: Well, I suppose now you can't wait for the end of the match, hm?

**FrighteningyObsessed**: What? snorts The entire fic is about Quidditch! There have been like two matches and some practices and the whole business about James teaching Lily to fly . . . Where have you been for this entire fic?

**switchfootlover**: I was wondering where Gred and Forge had gone.

**charbar**: I DID notice how prompt you were with the review! I got the email and I thought, 'Hm, Char is on the ball.' . . .

**naidel**: . . . unlike KT, who I had to TELL that the new chappy was up. Nevermind, she got ice cream out of it, which is what really counts. Now I've started to talk about you in the third person. Well, you will rule the world some day. It's like the royal 'we'.

**Thunder's Shadow**: I dunno, I think the next chapter will be the last chapter. At least, I don't have any more to write after that. Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you get a holiday soon.

**Miss Lady Marauder**: Haha, I'm glad you're happy. Thanks for the review!

**The Big Dance**: What? Of COURSE we can obsess over fictional characters! Do you KNOW how many hours I have wished to just walk up to that adorable Mr Bingley and just give him a hug?

**GlassBroomstick**: I think he was definitely asleep. If he wasn't, he'd be in a somewhat more joyous state than, you know . . . asleep. :D

**Flame Of Desire**: Thanks for the note, see you next chapter!

**WeatherbysWitterings**: Thank you for trying to type out everything again, after your cruel computer caused you such suffering. That happens to me all the time. I type up three quarters of a chapter and the computer eats it and I want put bullet holes in the monitor. Grr. I'm really glad you liked so many things in the chapter, especially Gareth and Trev, they have a special place in my heart, those two.

**shortywithbrains**: You're so right, Remus is just too cool for school. Sadly, I can't afford not to pay attention in class anymore. Bloody exams, they'll never take me alive!

**mika-mitch**: Ugh, never ending stories . . . just the thought makes me feel ill. Don't even worry about it, I suppose there might be more stories after this one. Maybe I'll even write a serious one?

**MissMrprk**:D. I love this whole conversation by facial expressions thing we've got going on here, by the way.

**supergirl**: Cheers, my dears.

**Elspeth Renee**: Thank you so much, I'll try, although I'm making no promises.

**limbo-gal**: It's one of my greatest fears, getting lynch-mobbed.

**Red-Emerald**: Thank you for understanding. I DO need to buckled down and do some work, or I will not pass these exams and then I will have to write ff for a living and . . . let's face it, no one would be all that willing to pay for this.

**raj**: Your compliments never cease to amaze me.

**kiwislushie**: Haha, I'm glad you like the chapter. I hope plot bunnies don't become an endangered species or anything.

**geckaclark**: I love the teasing, mainly because I engage in a lot of it myself.

**Tsusetsu**: My Head of Year is this woman who considers herself in charge of our educational well being. We're supposed to tell her if we're having 'trouble at home' or if we're slitting our wrists or anything. Typically, she is the last person I would ever go to if I were slitting my wrists.

**Sushinase**: No problem, thanks for reviewing!

**HarryluvsMoaningMyrtle**: Gasp I can't believe you called Gareth and Trev dumb! Why would you think that? I never suggested anything along those lines. Not everyone who talks with a South London accent is stupid. Plus, the last thing I suggested was that the Hufflepuffs were dumb. Look at Ernie Macmillen, he's about as ponsey as they come. I honestly have no idea where you got that from.

**fish30**: OK

**soccerchic1989**: Why are you and this guy Adam not together? I think it would be fun; at least you can still be friends after. End of annoying advice.

**slippersRfuzzy**: Thank you so much, I'm glad you came round to the story.

**hazeled eye marauder**: Good, I'm glad!

**Lady of Masbolle**: Hmm, sorry about the cliffie. I hope you enjoyed the chapter nonetheless.

**The ORIGINAL Meathead**: Yeah, put it up as a one shot. Could you just say that the situation was based on my story? That would be great, cheers.

**Cracker Jack**: Oh, gosh. I'm very glad you liked the story, and that you stuck at it until your mother though of calling medical aid. Well done.

**milky way bar**: Haha, you're so easily amused.

**The all mighty and powerfulM**: I adore your name, thanks very much for the review.

**ArekuKatari**: I think they're quite near the end of the school year, probably about May-ish?

**newsieduckling**: It's harsh, but true. :D

**Tracey**: Right now I am writing somewhere around the midnight hours, since I actually have to concentrate in class. Send my regards to Frodo.

**Laney-Wood**: Thank you very much, chicken.

**Deni**: Thank you for reviewing so many chapters! Respect.

**im LOVING it**: I shall, although sadly not for long. See you next chapter.

**Next Chappy:  
**. . . is the last chapter, so of course I can't tell you anthing about what happens, especially after such an ending to this one. Winks.


	17. The Life and Magic

**17 – The Life and Magic**

Obviously, when Lily had jumped off her broomstick, her primary objective had been to catch the Snitch. However, her thought processes had sort of stopped there. What she would do once she had caught the Snitch was something she had not really though about in so much detail.

It was a dilemma that hit her while the fingers of her right hand were tightening round the small golden ball, but her brain did not even get very much further than that. It was as if all rational thought had taken one look at the situation and said '_Now_ you've done it! I _tried_ to warn you, but would you listen? _No-o-o!_ That's it! Now you're _on your own!_'.

On the bright side, a pleasant humming had taken the place of the mortal terror that you would have thought anyone would be feeling in her particular situation as the constant of gravity roped its arms around her and pulled her towards the ground. Being no stranger to life-or-death situations, (for examples, see recent inter-house guerrilla warfare and potential lynch-mobbing) Lily reflected idly that she probably wouldn't die, you know, all things considered. How she had come to this conclusion is questionable, but she thought she probably would end up in the Hospital Wing for a few weeks and she wondered whether it would be enough to make her miss her NEWTs.

Although, the ground _was_ coming towards her at an alarmingly fast speed, (funny, that) and the faster the ground came towards her, the more time Lily predicted she would be confined to a bed with white sheets. It was beginning to get quite scary in that respect.

Now that she'd had time to think about it while the air rushed past her, making the folds of her scarlet Quidditch uniform shake to and fro, she began to panic. Whether she died or not, falling from this sort of height was bound to be quite painful, whichever way you looked at it.

Just when Lily was starting to fear she was going to be spending her whole life in the Hospital Wing, her course of movement changed rather drastically. It was a bit of a shock when something collided quite forcefully with something that was not the ground. This thing in fact, came at her from a ninety degree angle at fifty miles an hour, so you could see why this change was unexpected.

The circumstances themselves were also a bit of a major change. For instead of tumbling freely, nothing holding her back, out on her own, a toy to gravity, now she found herself in the rather confined space of someone's arms. This someone was quickly identified as James Potter.

Now there were things all around her. In front of her was James's chest, around her were his arms, underneath her were his knees and the handle of his _Hurricane 5_.

All in all, she had to say that her current situation was far better than the one she had been in three seconds ago, although she was afraid that her rib cage would soon collapse in on itself if James did not loosen the grip he had around her a little.

Because the Head Boy's arms were otherwise engaged, his broomstick slowed down and gradually drifted towards the ground so that he and Lily sort of tumbled off it onto the grass in one big bundle of limbs, Quidditch uniforms and shin pads. They ended up kneeling on the ground with James still retaining his death-grip on as much of Lily as he could get into his arms. Both of them were breathing as if oxygen was a limited edition chocolate from Honeydukes, in long, deep breaths that each of them could feel through the other's chest.

Lily heard James muttering something and she soon realised that it was the single word '_almost . . . almost . . . almost . . ._' being whispered over and over again.

James thought that at that moment, holding Lily as close to him as possible must have been the only thing that was keeping him from going mad. It was hard to believe that he _had_ caught her and that she was not being led off the pitch on a stretcher.

For a moment there, he had thought it had all gone wrong. He had thought it was all over. He had been shot in the heart with the sharpest splinter of terror that he had felt in his life._ He had thought Lily was going to die._

Thoughts like this are often some of the hardest to wipe from one's mind. Even as James had felt the impact of his colliding with Lily and scooping her out of her dive, he found it hard to think of anything else apart from the fact that she had only been about six metres from the ground.

It was getting better though. Now he could feel himself clinging her, he could begin to believe it. Every breath that she pushed out against him was further proof that she was alive. Every slight shift of her arms around his neck banished the worst from his mind a little more.

There was a roaring sound in Lily's ears and it took a moment to realise that it was the sound of two thousand people standing up and cheering. It took another moment to realise why it was that there were two thousand people stood up and cheering. She pulled away slightly and in the four or so inches between them, she opened her hand to show him the Snitch, which was flapping its small, battered wings in a half-hearted sort of way.

James gave it a sort of dismissive look that said 'that's nice', before pouncing on Lily once more. The Head Girl rolled her eyes and smiled, never one to complain about being hugged by someone she quite fancied.

"I hope none of you closed your eyes for a second there," Remus said, sounding quite exhausted, "I hope none of you turned away or looked somewhere else, or sneezed or anything. If you did, I'll tell you that you just missed the most amazing stunt in the history of Hogwarts Quidditch, and you ought to be bloody kicking yourselves right now."

James began to contemplate the fact that he may well have to start thinking about considering entertaining the notion of letting go of Lily at some point when wave after wave of scarlet-clad fans started a full-scale invasion of the field. He and Lily scrambled to their feet, and Lily held up the Snitch and laughed as there was a new wave of cheering. She turned to James and grinned.

"Wave then," she said cheekily, and James raised a hand, blowing out a sigh in a kind of awe that made Lily laugh harder. Soon enough, they were swamped by the crowd and the sheer current of maniacal fans carried them off.

"Oh, we're going this way, are we?" James said conversationally to no one in particular.

"Fair enough," Lily added, between the ecstatic exclamations of various red-clad people who were shaking their banner in triumph.

As for the Quidditch cup, James did not particularly care for standing up on the podium and holding up the cup. True, he had been looking forward to doing it for six years, ever since he had started playing, but it wasn't the same with only himself and Lily. Sirius, Verity, Ainsley, Simon and Keith had all helped them to win the cup and he felt that they should have been up there too, standing in line, receiving the cup that Professor Dumbledore passed to them.

Everyone cheered when he and Lily were presented with it nonetheless (especially Professor McGonagall, amusingly,), but as James lowered his arm again, he had a fabulous idea. He waved for quiet as Lily watched and began speaking.

"So, er," he said casually when the crowd had quietened down a bit, "thanks very much, cheers. And er, everyone: party, Heads' Dorms, follow us, see you there!"

This was (predictably) followed by another round of cheering. James jumped off the podium and held up a hand to Lily, who leaned on it to hop down. Without any kind of explanation, he tugged her after him by the hand and they began a brisk walk across the grounds, followed, incidentally, by around three hundred fans and Remus who had abandoned his post behind the microphone and joined them at the front of the crowd, just as ecstatic as the rest of them.

Lily was grinning all the way. She could honestly not remember being this happy at any point in her life before. She hadn't even thought it was possible to be this happy, but apparently it was, and she was sorry that more people couldn't feel the way she did.

She thought it must have been the way James kept glancing at her as they walked, as if he couldn't quite believe they had won and needed to refresh his memory every five seconds.

There was a bit of a scramble to get through the doors to the Entrance Hall but they managed it. The portraits of Hogwarts must have gotten the shock of their iconic lives at the sound of so many rowdy students sweeping through the castle. Another round of Gryffindor singing had started up somewhere in the back and it wasn't long before the group had travelled through the corridors of Hogwarts (James severely pitied anyone who had intended to travel in the opposite direction of their little excursion group) and arrived at one of the turnings that lead to the Head's Dorms. Suddenly, James turned around.

"Hold on a sec," he said to Lily and twisted them both round. "**Oi**** You lot!**" he hollered over the crowd of Gryffindors, "we're just gonna take a small detour! Won't be a minute!"

A couple of people looked at each other and shrugged cheerfully and Lily was beginning to suspect that even if James had said something like 'You're all hideously ugly buggers and thick to boot', her housemates _still_ would have cheered uproariously.

"Potter!" she yelled over the noise, "where are we off to?"

"Ah, you'll see!" James shouted back, and led them all the way to a stop outside . . . the Hospital Wing.

* * *

Up until then, all the Gryffindor players had been confined to the wing on Madam Pomfrey's orders. According to her, it was the best thing for repaired bones and healed cuts to be allowed to settle. She didn't add that she thought Quidditch was the bane of her existence and a sure shot at killing yourself, but the Gryffindors surmised this well enough from her tone. 

Those that weren't confined to white-sheeted mattresses had crowded round the windows trying to scrape together a view of the Quidditch pitch, but their side of the castle was at the most annoying angle of looking out onto only a measly corner of the stands. Only about one in every ten words of Remus's commentary was loud enough to be picked out, so all the way through the remainder of the match, Sirius, Verity, Simon, Ainsley and Keith had been trying to work out which side was winning by listening to the cheers of the crowd. It was like trying to paint a scene of the sixteenth century troll wars with only a twig and some brown paint.

This was particularly exasperating when at one point, it looked like everyone in that little corner of the stands was standing up and a unanimous gasp rose from the crowd like steam from a coffee maker.

"What just happened?" demanded Verity, a little hysterically from her bed.

"Who knows?"

"Search me."

"No clue," Sirius, Ainsley and Keith said in turn.

When Ainsley spotted all the Ravenclaws climbing down from their end of the stands, he gathered that the match must be over.

"I can't take it," Verity announced, "'_Give you knee time to fuse,_'" she said, imitating the nurse, "what a load of rubbish. I'm off to find someone who can tell me what's going on . . ."

The Chaser had only just started to put weight gingerly on her knee when she got distracted.

The roar of the crowd was getting louder and louder by the second.

"Merlin alive," remarked Sirius, "d'you hear that?"

"Yeah," nodded Simon, whose midriff was in a cast to allow his newly repaired ribs to settle. "Sounds like a herd of stampeding Hippogriffs . . . that can sing Quidditch songs."

"I've seen it before, you know," Keith told him.

"We must have won," Verity said slowly, "it's only explanation. We won!"

As if to prove her point, the doors flew open and the mob spilled through into the room, their clamour filling the space like the smell of dungbombs fills the corridor on the last day of term, the white walls clashing impressively with their brightly coloured banners and painted faces. Verity screamed with glee and Sirius burst out laughing.

"You did it!" shrieked Verity as Lily fought her way over to the bed her friend was perched on. "I don't _believe it!_ You did it!"

"Yeah!" Lily shouted back. "_We_ did it! _Gryffindor won!_"

Not caring at all about her supposedly bad knee, Verity jumped up and seized Lily by the hands, dancing around and screaming like mad. It was probably lucky that Remus had fought his way over because this gave Verity someone to kiss squarely on the lips in happiness.

"But never mind about that!" Lily shouted to her. "Party! Come on!"

"Aw, this was almost worth getting temporarily crippled for!" declared Verity, "Fan-sodding-tastic!"

Once the remaining Gryffindor players had been rounded up (some of them had required active transportation due to the nature of their injuries), James had stood on one of the beds and shouted, "Right-o! To the Heads' Dorms, everyone!"

"I say!" came a screech from the doorway. Those nearest to the noise turned around with minimum interest to see Madam Pomfrey, who had rushed out of her office, looking livid. "What is this . . . this _invasion?_ What are all doing in my wing? Haven't you noticed there are _injured patients _in the vicinity? Get out! Get out! You're all terribly unsanitary!"

"S'all right!" James called, waving a hand to the nurse over the crowd, "we were just leaving! Thank you!"

It was only once the lot of them had cleared out of her dominion that Madam Pomfrey realised she had been robbed of all her patients.

* * *

So the excursion continued back to the Heads' Dorms. Someone said the password and this further suggested that by now everyone in the school must have known it. They really _must_ change it soon, Lily thought. 

As soon as the first Gryffindors flooded into the room, preparations began to get underway. People were dispatched to the kitchens to fetch food and drink, someone had made the crucial decision to set up the magical gramophone in the corner and all the banners that had been waved at the match were hung up around the room.

"Aw, brilliant!" grinned Sirius, strolling into the room and clapping his hands together.

"I'm not sure what's better," Verity said, conversationally, as she skipped into the room, Remus behind her, "the match or the post-match party."

"Can someone put a decent record on?" shouted James, making to pull Lily through the door behind him as the music started up and people gave their official cheer of approval. But Lily suddenly stopped and tugged him back, letting a group of rather lairy third years past them.

As they both stumbled off to the side, no one took much notice of them, and James said cheerfully, "Lilo, what's up?" then cheekily, "there's a party just in the next room, if you hadn't noticed."

Lily was looking down, towards where both her hands were holding his. James hoped this didn't have anything to do with The Jump, as it was now known as in his brain. He hoped that she didn't think she had to apologise, or explain herself or anything. Let's face it, anything she did, he'd probably done worse. He found he didn't need to hear it anyway.

"I had noticed," she said slowly, "but I wanted to, you know . . . say thanks . . . for ensuring I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life in St Mungo's."

James squeezed her hand.

"It was nothing," he said. "Don't even worry about it, anyone would have done the same. Just . . . try to resist any urges you get to leap off airborne broomsticks in the future, all right?"

Lily only seemed to become more flustered.

"Yes, but, still . . . it was rather nice of you," she said, her voice speeding up.

"Well, I could hardly let anything happen to the Head Girl, could I?" James asked, teasing. "Then I might actually have to do some work around here."

Lily laughed briefly, but she didn't seem to have said everything she had queued up in her head.

"Anyway," she continued, "it won't happen again. I promise that's the end of my short-lived career in broom-diving, no more stick-leaping, ever."

"I'm glad to hear it," James said patiently, wondering whether there was in fact any point to this conversation, when he had a mind to ask Lily to dance when they joined the party.

"Because, you know . . . when you gave me that Seeker place, you were trusting me to catch the Snitch, weren't you?"

"I was."

"Not that I cared any at that point, because, you know, I didn't much like you and I was only doing it to get back at that cow, Skeeter, but I suppose gradually, I really started to care about it, because partly I really got swept up in the whole Quidditch mentality, and also partly because . . . well, I liked you and I didn't want to let you down because you really believed I could do it and I see now that that's why you gave me the position and . . ."

Lily was abruptly cut off at this point because James had suddenly taken it upon himself to put his free hand just below Lily's ear and bend down to kiss her.

Of course, Lily had already known that it was quite nice to kiss James Potter when his lips were blue with cold and he was half conscious. Now, however . . .

James didn't quite know what he was doing at first when Lily made a slight noise of surprise. But then she made another noise, one that sounded a bit like the one you would make when taking a first bite of a very good strawberry cheesecake, so he supposed that he must have at least been doing something right.

It then came to his attention that what he was doing might be in fact very wrong. Panicking slightly, he pulled back, keeping his hand on her face.

"I'm . . . sorry," he said. Lily only blinked as she opened her eyes.

"What for?" she asked, truthfully, thinking that if it were not for both of her hands holding onto James's, she quite possibly would have fallen over by now.

"We're friends," James said, surely, as if it were the only thing he could be completely sure of at that moment.

"We are," Lily agreed. "That's not going to change, is it?"

"No!" James said quickly. "No, in no way is that ever going to change. That's the last thing I would ever want. I mean, I don't know what I'm doing. That's why I _told_ myself I _wasn't_ allowed to kiss you."

Lily smiled a bit. _He still wanted to kiss her, did he?_

"Well, I don't know," she said, raising her eyebrows. "I'm not so sure I would mind."

James looked as though his whole world had just rotated through one hundred and eighty degrees. He didn't so much as move for a long time and it seemed as though he had lost all use of the muscles in his jaw.

"You what now?" he asked, in a low, quick voice.

"I'm not sure I would mind at all, actually," Lily continued, looking shyly down at her shoes. "I mean, of course we could still be friends. Would it really make all that much of a difference?"

James blinked several times. This could have denoted that he was rapidly loosing control of that little, but very important sector of the brain that makes sure you don't say anything fantastically stupid.

"I'm in love with you," he said. "I think you must know that, but in case you thought otherwise, I'm telling you now . . . Does that make a difference?"

Lily's eyes flicked back up and their stares clicked into place.

"I think it makes all the difference," trying to match the sincerity of her words to the sincerity of her eyes, "because actually, I'm quite sure I'm in love with you too." James breathed out the breath he had been holding, very, very slowly. A smile was growing on his face, but he frowned a little, as if he wasn't quite ready to believe it just yet.

"Joking," he said quietly, "you're joking, aren't you?"

Lily tilted her head to the left a bit and narrowed an eye at him. Then she decided to toss both her arms around his neck, stand on her tip-toes and kiss the life and magic out of him.

And James thought that if his arms hadn't gone around Lily's waist, _he_ quite possibly would have fallen over.

"Does it _feel_ like I'm joking?" the Head Girl asked him pointedly.

"N-not really, no," James replied, a flush blossoming under his eyes as he pushed his glasses back up his nose.

And just for that, he wanted to kiss her again.

* * *

Back inside the Heads' Dorms, the party only got better and better. The sofas, armchairs and other furniture got shoved to the edges of the room so that girls could drag boys by the hand into the middle to dance with them. Bottles, cans and cups were emptied, food disappeared from plates and the amount of time that passed from the point when the first students invaded the dorm was directly proportional to the noise level in the room. 

When Lily and James ventured back into their habitat, they found that the party had progressed a fair amount.

Remus and Verity were sat on one of the sofas under the balcony windows, shoulder to shoulder, talking just under the music, their hands secretly clasped between them. Sirius was sprawled out on an armchair on the opposite side of the room, with a sincere expression arranged on his face.

"Well, I must admit," he was saying to one Harriet Wicket as she draped herself over the arm of the chair, paying the polar opposite attention of what she usually did in History of Magic, "when I first hit the ground, the pain in this arm was the worst I've felt in my life. But, you know, now with you here, it seems to be disappearing fast. Did you know there's room for two in these things?"

"_Remember this day forever!_" someone shouted, as they strode past in front of the Head Boy and Girl. It was Anita Skeeter, complete with camera, waving a bundle of photographs around in the air. "I've captured everything, goals, dives, blood and broken bones! Single copies ten Knuts! Three for a Sickle! Full set for just one Galleon!"

Over by the fireplace, a first year girl was standing on the coffee table, giving Simon, Ainsley and Keith an animated account of everything that had happened after they had been cruelly torn from the action.

"So she's flying and flying and she's going to catch it, right, but then that _other_ Seeker bloke from Slytherin grabs a hold of her broomstick tail. So she gets up like this, right, and then she takes this great flying leap, right . . ."

James turned to Lily and grinned.

"Looks you're going to go down in Hogwarts history as 'that girl who jumped off her broomstick'," he told her.

"Well," Lily smiled sceptically, "only until the next person does it, and that'll probably be all too soon. Then I'll just be known as 'that girl who started this bizarre movement of jumping off broomsticks'."

"Oh, I dunno," shrugged James. He curled an arm around her waist and pulled her down onto a sofa with him. "I could live with that. Besides, I think it's far more likely that you'll go down in history as 'that Head Girl who did what everyone else wished they could and shoved Rita Skeeter off her high Hippogriff'."

"Urg," Lily pulled a face, fitting her hands in the Head Boy's, "I'm not sure I want to be associated with _her_."

"Yeah, you're right."

Lily surveyed the scene in front of them for a moment. She decided that it was definitely a good place to be. She thought that the number of smiles and sounds of laughter might have been the most she'd ever come across in one place before. Considering all the post-match parties she'd ever attended, she'd noticed that the amount of carnage left after the event matched up pretty closely with how good the party had been. With this fact in mind, she was somewhat proud to see that the dorm was now an absolute tip, strewn with bottles, packets, banners, streamers and various pieces of Quidditch uniforms. She pitied the poor sod who would have to clear up after them, but for the moment, it looked like a lot of fun for everybody.

"What about," she then said to James, "'that girl who realised far too late that James Potter had changed and had become particularly fond of him by the end of the year."

"Hah," James said in a long, thoughtful syllable, "I do believe I like it."

"Good."

"It's not as good as mine though."

"What?"

"Well, think about it," James said fairly, "I get to be 'that bloke who fell in love with "that girl who realised far too late that he had changed and had become particularly fond of him by the end of the year" and ended up receiving the best kisses of his life'."

It took Lily a moment to work it all out, during which a handful of balloons appeared in the room and started to float around above the students, magically spreading streams of scarlet and gold bubbles in their wake.

"It's not very catchy, is it?" she asked, reasonably.

"No, it's not very," agreed James. "All right, we'll shorten it. I shall just be 'that bloke who loved Lily Evans'."

Lily turned to look at him as a streamer flew overhead, landing on the top of James's glasses in a length of red ribbon. She picked it off his nose and smiled.

"I could live with that," she said, looping the ribbon around his head to bring their lips together.

* * *

At some point around two in the morning, there came a loud banging from the front doors of the dorm and the Gryffindors, thinking nothing could possibly spoil their fun, threw them open in welcome, only to find a foul-spirited Filch, accompanied, as ever, by his scraggy pet, Mrs Norris. 

The long and short of it was that they all got thrown out and lost themselves fifty points for being out after hours. The longer and shorter of it was that the Gryffindors hardly cared. It had been worth it, and besides, fifty points was nothing to what had been won in the match.

So it was that Lily and James had to stand by the doors to see that all the students left so that everyone who belonged to their respective houses could be frogmarched back to them by either Filch or Mrs Norris.

This took rather a long time. After a lot of protest from those who didn't want the party to end, there seemed to be a lot of people who wanted to congratulate the Heads on a Snitch well-caught or a party well-thrown.

"Night all!" Sirius called, reaching up to give James a knee-buckling clap on the shoulder, obviously slightly tipsy. "First-rate shindig, nicely done. Best yet, I'd say. Yes, well done!"

"Glad you survived the year of Quidditch, Lily," Remus said to her, winking and making the Head Girl laugh.

"Only just!" she replied and gave him a brief hug before the school caretaker herded him out the door quite forcefully.

"See you tomorrow, Captain!" Verity said, saluting to James, though not as smartly as usual, probably due to the Butterbeer. Then, the Chaser pounced on Lily. "I assume _you_ had a good time tonight," she hissed, (rather loudly) in Lily's ear, "and don't think I didn't see that business with the ribbon!"

"Oh," Lily said, through a sly grin. "Well, I think we should schedule tomorrow night as an ice cream in pyjamas night so I can tell you all about it."

"Too right we are," Verity replied as she pulled back and joined Remus outside, slinging an arm about his shoulder and following the crowd back to the Gryffindor Tower.

After Filch had threatened them with bodily harm if the dorm was not spotlessly clean by Monday and slammed the doors behind the last few stragglers, James sighed contentedly and checked his watch. Quarter past three.

Lily picked her way through the debris and started absent-mindedly gathering up bottles, humming the last song that had been playing before their humble little get-together had been gate crashed.

"'Salright," James said, ambling over to her and giving her half a hug while his other hand took the bottles gently from her clutches and put them back on the mantelpiece. "We'll do it tomorrow when we can blackmail any passers by to help us."

"Mm," Lily agreed, nodding sleepily. "Good idea." She collapsed back into the nearest armchair and laid her head on James's lap when he had perched himself on the arm.

"You off to bed soon?" he asked, in a tone that told her the answer had better be 'yes'.

Lily made a noncommittal noise.

"Don't make me resort to carrying you again, Lilo." James warned. "I will do it, you know."

"I bet you couldn't manage all those stairs," Lily cajoled him.

"All right, here we go then," James said cheerfully, and soon enough, Lily was leaning her forehead against James's neck as he removed her from the armchair and actively transported her up her stairs. It was a good deal easier, he thought, when she wasn't sulking about it.

As they reached Lily's room, the redhead released an almighty yawn that looked as though it had taken more effort than that which James had used to carry her up the stairs.

"Your room, Madam," James said politely, depositing Lily onto the purple carpet.

"Thank you kindly," she replied, rubbing her eyes.

James ran a finger along those bits of hair that brushed across her eyes, not really doing anything of practicality.

"That was something of a party, wasn't it?" he said.

"Yeah," Lily agreed, "the mess downstairs is a tribute to that."

"Night night then," James said.

"See you in the morning," Lily said, stretching up to kiss him.

Just as James had reached the door, thinking longingly of his own purple duvet on his four-poster, Lily turned to look at him from her place sitting on the bed.

"Potter," she said, and James stopped, turning with his hand on the door handle. "We did alright today, didn't we?" Lily said slowly. "Won a Quidditch match, rescued our team mates from Madam Pomfrey, threw a bit of party . . . We're a fantastic team aren't we?"

James didn't answer for a long time. Lily watched the biggest, most heartfelt grin spread out onto his face, and she supposed she must have said something meaningful, although James tried to reply as though he had known they would manage it all along.

"Of course, Lilo," he said. "We're a marvellous team."

* * *

**a/n** Hello! 

I know a lot of people were . . . irritated about the last cliff hanger, but I hope the tremendous amount of fluff in this chapter made up for it. Yes, this is the end of the story! Another fic finished! Hoorah! Also, seeing as I could possibly be the least sporty person ever, I think I am to be commended for writing an entire fic centred around a magical one. Hoorah!

I have a lot of things to say, so here goes:

1) A thousand thank yous to my beta, Rose. She is the lovely person who protects you all from my monstrous spelling/grammar.

2) Thank you to absolutely everyone who reviewed! Your encouragement has been fabulous. Let's face it, with chapters an average of 5,000 words long, I'd need a lot of support, so be proud of yourselves, you got me through seventeen of them!

3) Thank you also to those who put me on their favourites. In the words of Goldie Lookin Chain, 'You knows I loves you, baby.'

4) On Tuesday 10th, I shall be doing my GCSEs (General Certificate of Secondary Education exams) in English, Maths, Biology, Physics, Chem, Spanish, History, Religion, and Ancient Greek. These mean death for any British person aged 16. Everyone has to take them, so until the 23rd of June, I shall be online very little and I probably won't be writing at all. (Sob)

After that, I am going to Glastonbury. This is a music festival held on the weekend of the 24th-26th June in a field that is normally full of cows (where do all the cows go at Glastonbury?). Here I shall have no computer access at all, but I probably won't care in the slightest.

THEN, I am going to Cyprus to do some work in the law firm that my aunt works in. I come back on the 9th of July.

So that is my life for the next two months. As you can see, very busy, so sorry if I seem slightly dead. If you want, you can get friended on my live journal (check bio page). I might be seen lurking round there once in a while.

**slingshot13**: Sadly, there is no sequel planned. Sorry!

**snazzysnez**: Yes, it's true, I am evil. I'm sorry. No ideas for a sequel yet, sorry for that too.

**SCK all that's missing is U**: See? I told you Lily would start a movement!

**Anne-Janet**: Thanks for the review. I hope you found this a satisfying end. Maybe all those Slytherins were related to Rita, I don't know.

**FrighteninglyObsessed**: Well, there are only three houses that Gryffindor can play. Besides, I don't really care about Quidditch, other things matter not when there's so much fluff to be written. I'm sorry you don't think you've seen enough playing, but I suppose I decided to explore different aspects of what is required to play, like practices and people buying other people broomstick and stuff.

**walkingcensure**: I have a love/hate relationship with many people. Dysfunctionality everyday news. :D

**Sh'ai Ytk'ein**: Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it. I had a lot of fun writing it.

**The Big Dance**: (Nods) I am sad that the fic is over. I am. But you what I am even sadder about? National exams! Thank you for putting me on your favourites though, that was very nice of you.

**slippersRfuzzy**: Thank you thank you thank you! I hope it wasn't too long a wait.

**Coffee Shopper**: You forget: I am the referee. :P

**shortywithbrains**: Solidarity with your exams. Don't worry, I suspect we shall both survive.

**Tsusetsu**: Aw, here. Dry your eyes on this new chapter.

**bananaslugg**: Cheers, I'm glad you liked it!

**prongsiesxlilyxflower**: I hope you have not died of suspense. Please leave me a review if you are indeed, alive.

**Ocean-Poweress**: Sorry, you're right, it was very evil.

**IamSiriusgrl**: I suppose not so much poor Lily anymore . . . :D

**everblue3**: Yes, I think Lily learnt to be afraid of heights pretty quickly after her little leap. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter, and thanks for the review!

**drumer girl**: Wow, I guess the last chapter was exciting, eh? Thank you very much!

**milky way bar**: It's true, you caught me. :)

**Elspeth Renee**: Thank you very much, I hope you enjoyed the fic!

**mika-mitch**: I hope you didn't mind waiting. What am I talking about, of course you did. Sorry. I hope this fluff made up for it.

**Supergirl**: Yes, I'm sorry. I am ashamed of myself.

**Flame Of Desire**: My apologies. Here, have this chapter as a sorry present.

**Alexis**: Wow, thank you very much, I'm glad you like it. I hope this last chapter lived up to all your compliments!

**The ORIGINAL Meathead**: No problem. Did you get it betad?

**scarlet emerald**: Thank you for being so understanding. So, did you guess right? I guess you did!

**im LOVING it**: Yes, I thought ticking them off one by one was sort of cruel, but what can I say? Those Slytherins will resort to anything to win. :D

**charbar**: Nice try, darling, but this chapter was of average length. I just managed to cram everything in, but I hope you liked it anyway.

**lala**: Dun dun dun:D

**Lady of Masbolle**: Thank you for the favourite. It brings me joy.

**siriusforeva**: Yay! Go Lily!

**Arianna Leciav**: Actually, it's funny you should say that, because I named them all after teachers I don't particularly like, either. :D (Snigger)

**Phillippa of the Phoenix**: I think that if I was playing two to seven, I would forfeit pretty fast, but I can't speak for some crazy people called James and Lily.

**quodpot**** 1232**: Actually, I think he's the last man flying, along with Lily, who as you know, is a girl. :D Hoorah!

**kiwislushie**: Sorry about that, I hope you're not too mad.

**helloshanti2**: I see. So now you are the one and only helloshanti. I think that is a good thing to be.

**Weird Not Boring**: Thank you very much!

**wow**: Cheers, sorry to keep you waiting.

**HarryluvsMoaningMyrtle**: I think that if James had reserve players, one of them would have been playing Seeker and then Lily would have never gotten onto the team. I know, Grffindor being rubbish at Quidditch is sort of critical to my plot, but what are you going to do?

**GlassBroomstick**: Sorry, no sequel. I wouldn't be able to think of anything to put in it. Possibly another fic though. We'll see.

**Miss Lady Marauder**; Fav quotes of all time, eh? Wow. I think this is a good place to be. Thank you very much!

**JCTIGERWOLF4E**: Thanks a lot!

**Unregistered-Animagus**: Not above begging? Don't worry. Here's the chapter, and you didn't even have to do the big, pleading eyes.

**MissMrprk: **:)

**geckaclark**: I'm glad you liked it!

**limbo-gal**: Sorry, I know it was nasty. Nevermind, it all turned out well in the end.

**ToRi**: Wow, thanks a lot. Thanks for the encouragement, and the compliments. I'm sure I'll keep writing for a long time. I don't really have much else to do. :D

**The all mighty and powerfulM**: Little chocolate monsters, eh? Can I retaliate by trying to eat them?

**razzle****-dazzle-me**: Aw, look at me, now I'm getting all teary!

**robbie cupcake-girl**: Sorry if you fell asleep waiting or anything. I hope you went to do something else in the end. I'm sure you did, but here's the chapter anyway!

**soccerchic1989**: Of course it makes sense, love/hate relationships are very common. I didn't mean to pry about you and Adam, but I hope you work it out it the end. Just stay friends OK? Whatever else.

**anon-thee-moose**: Sorry for the wait.

**Sushinase**: Ani from the second Star Wars love. The only problem is, when you watch it, you keep getting flashbacks to that random kid who played him terribly in episode 1. (Shudder) Now I want to make a sock puppet Sirius!

**SiriusProtege**: I hope your French Oral went OK, and thanks for the review!

**Maxie Fonseca**: Hm . . . now I am tied to a computer chair. Maybe that's what I need to get me to write faster! I'll get someone to tape me to the chair! Genius!

**Red-Emerald**: Thanks very much I'm glad you liked the chapter. I think that's what's been happening lately, my chapters have been getting longer because I think of more things to write at a time, and them I can't stop! Do you remember when they used to be a measly 1,200 words long? Ha! Those were the days.

**The Almighty Pitchfork-er**: Coming at me with a pitchfork . . . as a ghost? Because that would be even scarier. I'll have you know, I had to write this chapter AND try to outrun your fork at the same time!

**naidel**: It's OK, I like telling you that a new chapter is up. I like seeing that look on your face and hearing that little squealing noise you make. Yay! I get a cute uniform!

**kaiyana**: Quidditch is very fun to write. I get to make it exciting!

**dracorocks92**: Ok!

**Tracey**: Writers' block, dually fought off! (Salutes) Just in time for exams, haha. I must read some Douglas Adams. I think my dad promised to buy me some. I shall ambush him about that.

**WeatherbysWitterings**: (Gasp) What a conundrum:D Oh Lord, Chemistry! Argg! How I look forward to the 23rd of June when I can have a ritual burning of all my science notes.

**cylobaby**: Haha, thank you so much for the lovely things you said.

**me**: Please don't kill me! I'm too young to die!

**Sekhmet88**: Thanks a lot! I'm glad you like it. Oh well, even though it's over, you can always read it again!

**Thunder's Shadow**: Grr, person on Spring Break. Grr, curse you and your fun.

**oReeseso**: Hm. I have some ideas for the next story, but there are a lot of stories in my head, as always and I'm not sure whether the next one will be L/J or H/G. Hm. Which would you prefer?

**Deni**: It amused me that you from giving me the biggest evils to giving me a hug before you depart. (Giggle) Very good, well done!

**SuggaLollies**: Aw, don't cry! Here, blow you nose on this chapter!

**ebony-plays-the-viola**: Sorry it took me so long to update. I hope you liked the last chapter!

**Tootie**: Thank you so much!

**Tinkerbellhp07**: No! Loving dead fictional characters is by no means shameful! Love people like Mr Darcy and Pip! Love Edward and Mr Bingley and all the others! And for God sakes, be PROUD, dammit!

**Halein**: Cheers, cheers. You hate me? Oh well, I expected as much. :)

**newsieduckling**: Yes, I am mean. Sorry about the cliffie!

**goody2shoes13**: Well I kept writing, so here we are!

**LilMizHeartbreaker**: Is it fair now that I gave you so much fluff to warm your belly? I hope so!

**cylobaby**: Thanks very much!

**jkminimoon**: Thanks for the review, and I hope you didn't have to wait too long.

Anyway, thank you all. It's been much fun. Cheers!


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